by Riley Jean
Literally.
As in my cards were a jack and a deuce.
At least they were both suited in a girl’s best friend. That made me smile.
But no time to smile about that now. I tilted my head and squinted at my cards. Time to get serious. Statistics were not in my favor. Folding was more than likely my safest option, especially if Ricky had a good enough hand to be raising the bet. My natural inclination was to avoid the risk and fold. On the other hand, if I played like a chicken shit, these guys would laugh me right off their table. Might as well stay in one more round and see what happened.
However, I couldn’t just call when he had raised the pot. Oh no.
“I raise you twenty,” I smirked, throwing down two red chips.
“Hmm,” said my lifelong friend.
The other boys called. When it came back to Ricky’s turn, he took me by surprise by leaning right into my face. I backed up a couple inches, as far as my chair would allow, wondering what the hell he was doing. Was he trying to kiss me? Here? In front of everyone? We had certainly never done that before.
He was so close, I could see the little flecks of silver glinting in his gray eyes. They slanted downwards in the outer corners, revealing the tiniest hint of sadness. To the average person it could have just been the natural shape of his eyes, but I knew firsthand the depth and turmoil they hid. Ricky Storm wasn’t the town heathen everyone saw him to be. He was just a young artist afflicted by grief of his own.
Seconds ticked by. Nobody spoke. He appraised my face as I searched his, flummoxed as to what was happening between us.
“You’re bluffing,” he said.
…Oh.
Caught off guard, my blinking eyes and the blush that crept up my skin only had a few seconds head start before the choking laughter ripped its way out. I threw my head back and laughed, loud and heartily, embarrassed about what I’d assumed. Immediately the table joined me in hysterics. Thank goodness they weren’t mind readers.
“You are the worst bluffer I’ve ever played!” Ricky said with a humorous shake of his head.
“This is gonna be cake!” Farrell rubbed his palms together, while another boy pounded a fist into the table between hoots of laughter.
Once we were all able to compose ourselves, Ricky put an additional fifty chips worth into the pot. He could have gone all in, but there was no point when he had way more chips than me. Fifty would drain a good chunk of my stack, but not all of it. I paid up and stayed in the game because—what the hell—I’d come this far.
And wouldn’t you know it—the river card was a diamond.
I had a flush!
I could barely contain my mirth while we placed bets for the final round. Ricky revealed a straight, which was impressive, I supposed. When I finally flipped over my cards and revealed the winning hand, my grin was so huge, my cheek muscles were sore.
The guys exploded around the table, another round of laughing and banter followed by them bowing dramatically in worship to me. Ricky’s jaw had fallen to the table right after he saw the two diamonds in my hand, and it took a few minutes before he was able to pick it back up. Mostly he was shocked, but I could tell by his eyes that he was a little proud of me, too.
The pizza and poker chips were gone within an hour. I put up a respectable fight (mostly because the guys were no longer eager to call my bluffs), but in the end, skill won over luck and Ricky cashed out the entire pot. The guys thanked me again for the pizza and we had one more laugh about that first round before they got up and headed for the bar.
“Good game, kiddo.” Ricky crossed his arms and leaned back against the wall. Dark hair fell in his grinning gray eyes.
“You too,” I smiled. “Thanks for letting me crash your table.” He had really put me at ease by welcoming me into his group of friends. This was a first for us—hanging out in public—and I wasn’t going to take it for granted.
Out slipped his smoky laugh. “The boys had fun. They may insist you join us again.”
“I’m there,” I promised, managing not to sound overly eager.
His eyes lowered. “How’s James?”
“Meh,” I shrugged. “Same as always.”
“Still an ass, then.”
I pressed my lips together and nodded. “He’s joining the military.”
“That right?”
“Yep,” I said, popping the ‘p.’
“Hmm… Should be good for him.”
“I hope so.”
He glanced over my shoulder, eyes narrowing. “Those your friends?”
I turned to see three familiar faces all staring at us with rapt interest from just a few yards away. All three sat on one side of the booth, turning it into something that more accurately resembled theater seats than a dining table. The way they were gawking made it seem like they were enthralled in some kind of suspenseful drama. The only thing missing was a bowl of popcorn in front of them.
No, scratch that—actually the popcorn was there, too.
None of them showed any kind of shame when we caught them staring. Kiki looked excited, Summer looked disgusted, and Vance looked completely… blank.
Why did people have to act totally nuts around Ricky? You would think no one in this town had ever seen tattoos before.
I was too embarrassed to respond. I couldn’t even deny it. Had they been watching us the entire time? This was supposed to be Vance’s celebration night. I doubted that spying on me was high on his to-do list.
Ricky hooked an arm around my shoulders and propelled me forward. This would be interesting. He’d never made an effort to meet my friends before. He kind of lost interest after Lexi used to follow him around when we were little. I supposed I changed the stakes tonight, so it was only fair he did the same.
Once we got to the table, he unleashed a wicked smirk on the girls. I rolled my eyes playfully. Now I knew that infamous third expression. And I could see why it worked on so many women. He had perfected it.
I introduced them one at a time. Summer leered at him, Kiki giggled, and Vance did that head bob greeting in typical guy fashion, his eyes a little wary.
“Thanks for letting me borrow her tonight,” Ricky said, squeezing me to him. “Watch out for this one. She’s got one hell of a bluff.”
I smiled up at him, blush deepening. I was just glad that I hadn’t made a complete fool of myself in front of his friends.
Just then his attention shifted towards the bar, where a woman in a short red skirt was overtly eyeing him. The others didn’t notice since their backs were to the bar. But Ricky couldn’t take his eyes off her. Amused, I thought to myself, Jumping ship in four… three… two…
“Later, kiddo.” With one last smirk, he ruffled my hair and left to head towards the bar.
Three gazes turned their focus onto me. I shifted my weight, dreading to hear all the thoughts associated with those expressions. What I hadn’t expected was to feel so abandoned the second he left.
Unable to look any of them in the eye, I took a seat in the booth across from them and picked at my fingernails. It was a tad uneven, with the three of them sitting on one side, and then just me on the other. It felt like I was on the receiving end of an interrogation.
When did socializing become this complicated?
Kiki was the one to break the silence. “Ricky. Freaking. Storm,” she breathed, fanning her face.
“You know him?” I said.
“Who doesn’t?” She shot a wink to Summer, who was not amused. “How do you know him?” she asked, wiggling her brows at me.
“I know him well enough to know his middle name isn’t freaking,” I jested.
“What is it?” she leaned towards me, bright eyed and sparkling with curiosity.
Merrick Asher Storm. I’d always loved his full name, but he hated hearing it.
I winked conspicuously at her. “I’ll never tell.”
“So… you and the town bad boy, huh?” Summer jeered. “How long has this been going on?”
/> I cringed at the stereotype. Ricky’s reputation certainly preceded him, but he had never been that person to me. Although I was glad to have that little genuine piece of the real Ricky, sometimes I wished other people could see past the rumors, too.
A downside to hanging out together in public: now we had to justify our relationship.
“I’ve known him my whole life, like you and Vance. We’re just friends.”
Summer laughed off my explanation. “No need to deny it, Scar, we saw the way you two looked at each other. You guys would actually make a cute couple.”
I peered at her with a side-eye stare. I wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt, but I was getting a little fed up with her attitude. What was her problem? First Vance, now Ricky? Was I not allowed to be friends with boys? The Vance thing was bad enough, but the idea that there was anything romantic going on with me and Ricky was simply ludicrous.
“Look at me,” I gestured to myself with a hand. “Do I look like Ricky Storm’s type to you?”
“What are you talking about?” Kiki blurted.
“HELLO!” I said, as if it weren’t obvious. “I could pass for age twelve. Do you think that turns him on? Because if so, that’s a little disturbing.”
“Are you not aware of how sexy you are? Vance, tell Scar how sexy she is,” she baited.
“Kiki,” I warned. “Don’t.”
“You’re being redonkulous,” she insisted. “You do not look twelve.”
I was right about to make a comment about being a goldilocks when I remembered that my hair was no longer blond. I took a second to consider her words. True, these days I looked a little less Old Navy and a little more Hot Topic. A part of me wondered if I had even stood out sitting at Ricky’s table, like I used to at Lexi’s parties.
But no matter. It didn’t fool me into thinking that meant attraction. Ricky went for the kind of girls that wore short skirts and hung out in bars. I shook the ridiculous thought out of my head. “I’m like a little sister to him.”
“We were sitting right here the whole time,” Summer pointed to the table top. “We saw the whole thing.”
I frowned. What exactly was she insinuating? There was nothing to see, except one innocuous game of cards. And the only reason I joined them was to get the girls off my back about the invented sparks between me and Vance!
But there was no way I could admit that in front of him. It would humiliate us both. My plan to prove them wrong had backfired. Now they just had something else to ruffle their feathers about.
I shook my head. They weren’t listening. “You guys are delusional.” I may have been a little standoffish these last few months, but that didn’t mean I was hooking up with every male I spoke to now. Vance and Ricky were both my friends. I shouldn’t have had to go out of my way to prove it.
I looked at Vance, hoping he could bring some sense to the conversation. Geez, this had to be so boring for him. Tonight was supposed to be about him, not me and my rumored love life.
“Are you having fun?” I diverted. Smooth. Real smooth. “Want to do another song?”
His smile picked up at my change of subject. Seemed as though he wasn’t interested the girls’ ramblings either. “Sure. Duet?”
With me? “Oh no. I don’t do karaoke.”
“But you love to sing!”
“Not in public.”
“Aw, come on, what happened to your fearlessness, friend?”
My lips pressed tightly together. “This is different.”
“Please Rosie?” he pouted. “Do it for me?”
“You’re giving me puppy eyes?” I had to laugh. “Are you serious right now?”
“Maybe… is it working?”
“No!”
“I’ll sing with you,” Summer offered.
“See, there you go,” I grabbed tight to that opportunity. I smiled big at them and hoped this would let me off the hook.
Summer looked a little brighter at the prospect, and grinned as she slid out of the booth. “I’ll go sign us up!”
She headed towards the DJ. Kiki got lost in her own little world, bobbing her head to some imaginary beat. Vance looked a little put out. I wondered if his breakup was finally getting to him. Maybe Evelyn had always been his karaoke partner, and this would be his first time singing a duet without her.
“You guys will do great,” I encouraged, trying to shift the mood back around. “I’ll cheer you both on.”
“It’s fine,” he said, eyes boring into mine and lowering his voice. “It’s just… music is our thing.”
I smiled sympathetically, totally understanding. “I’m sorry. It always starts with little things like that.”
His brow furrowed. “Like what?”
“The beginning is the hardest, trying to figure everything out again: who you are, what to do with your Friday nights. And the firsts are the worst—first karaoke without her… first Christmas alone. But you have amazing friends, and you’ll find a routine again. It’ll get easier.”
He stared at me quietly for a few beats. Then, “I wasn’t talking about Evelyn.”
And all of a sudden it clicked. The depth of his gaze and the memories of blasting rock songs in his truck told me exactly who he was referring to.
Music is our thing.
Beside him, Kiki’s eyes grew wide, barely able to contain her glee. I shook my head at her. Vance wasn’t flirting with me. He wasn’t. But it was almost as if he was purposely trying to egg them on.
Why did he have to say that?
Before any of us could speak, Summer returned to the table with a gigantic book of songs. Obliviously flipping through the plastic pages, she pointed out a few oldies she thought might be fun. Judging by Vance’s scrunched face, he wasn’t interested in her selections. I could have told her that. I was surprised that, despite all their years of friendship, she didn’t already know the kind of music that he liked. How could she know him so well, yet not know something so important to him?
* * *
“So how are you really holding up?” I asked.
I assumed he needed a little break after his “celebration.” I knew I did. The worst of it was when Summer and Kiki used their phones to Photoshop Evelyn’s face on pictures of rhinos. Vance was not too happy with them when he saw.
Considering I had ditched them for Ricky for the first hour, and dodged most of the conversation with Kiki and Summer scrutinizing my every move, I never quite got a chance to talk to him. So after we all left The Alley, Vance and I met up at a little park between our houses and sat on the swings, just talking under the night sky.
Vance shook his head. “It’s ridiculous. She called twelve times today. She wants me to apologize and try to work things out.”
“Any second thoughts?”
He didn’t hesitate. “No. It was the right thing to do.”
I still couldn’t wrap my head around it. Their split had totally blindsided me. Not to mention the fact that he seemed to be perfectly fine. “No offense, but how come you’re taking this so well? I was always a wreck after breakups. And my relationships never lasted four years.”
He shrugged. “It just feels like it’s been over for a long time.”
I sniffed and muttered, “A long time, huh?” I wondered if Evelyn was aware of that. What was it about boys that they could move on in the blink of an eye, leaving us girls as blubbering messes for weeks? Months?
“What was that?” he questioned curiously.
“Nothing. You’re just… really well-adjusted.”
He flashed me a smile from his swing.
“What now?”
“You feel bad for her,” he said. “Don’t you?”
I bristled. “I can’t help it. You just dumped her out of nowhere and now you don’t care at all. I know how it feels to be that girl… it sucks.”
“It wasn’t out of nowhere. And it’s not that I don’t care, but things haven’t been good for awhile.”
“You could’ve fooled me,” I sai
d, miffed. Sure, we hadn’t discussed their relationship recently, but he always seemed so happy. To me, he would always be the perfect boyfriend who practically swooned at the sound of her name and made plans for their anniversary months in advance.
Then I remembered the information I’d gleaned from Cole, Kiki and Summer at Honey’s. His real friends had an entirely different view of their relationship all along.
“Was she really controlling?”
He let out a long-winded sigh and looked straight out at the park, lost in his own thoughts. “She was.” Of course she was. It turned out his real friends were right, and I didn’t know him at all. “She thought she loved me, but… I’m not the guy she wanted me to be. I just want someone to know the real me, and like me anyway. Is that so wrong?”
A gasp escaped as I turned to look at him with wide eyes. Those were my words. About Lexi. Was it possible he had been living like that for all those years, too nice to say anything, like I had been? Always pretending, but underneath it all, never feeling quite good enough?
Vance deserved so much better than that. He was great just the way he was. He didn’t need to be changed, he needed to be appreciated. He deserved to be happy. And if he had finally grown the courage to say so, I couldn’t be anything but glad for him.
Perhaps “congratulations” was appropriate after all.
“Then… good for you, Vance,” I commiserated as a deeper understanding passed between us. It appeared I wasn’t the only one who wore a mask. “Because Evelyn should’ve appreciated you just the way you are.”
Side by side we sat on our swings, surrounded by nothing but trees and moonlight. Even though I would never wish heartbreak on my friend, or even my worst enemy, it was a necessary evil in life. And now, it turned out, we had something else in common after all.
“Want to switch your answer?” I said, referring back to that same early conversation. I wondered if he’d change his tune now that he had a firsthand taste of relationship failure. Given the circumstances, a bit of cynicism was something I could relate to. “Is it ever worth it?”
He looked at me sideways. “Of course it’s worth it.”
No dice.