by Simmons, Pat
“The night she was waiting in the parking lot. I was about to get in my car. She called my name. Surprised and suspicious, I asked her what she wanted. I don’t remember what she answered, but the next thing I knew she kissed me.”
“And you didn’t know how to push her away?” Desi gritted her teeth in disgust.
“Sister Bishop, please,” the pastor said calmly, “please allow Brother Bishop to finish.”
Michael cleared his throat. “This is so embarrassing, but the kiss seemed to overpower my will to say no and before I could protest, she began to undress me. I unlocked my door and I had sex with her in the back seat.” He looked at her for a reaction. “That wasn’t planned, Desi. I didn’t deliberately set out to cheat on you.”
She threw her arms up in defeat. There was no way she could ever trust this man again. “You broke your vow, had unprotected sex with a woman who wasn’t your wife, and you love me. Tell me how all three are connected?”
“Brother Bishop, what happened after that?”
“She dressed, got out and left.” Michael slumped over in the chair and stared at his hands. “I don’t know how long I sat in that parking lot, stunned about what happened and what I had just done. I guess Desi got worried about me and called. I told her I had the most miserable day in my life. When I got home…” Michael was silent. “I showered and made love to my wife to erase what I had just done.”
Desi gasped and before she knew it, she was out of her chair and slapped Michael so fast and hard, it shocked him and the pastor. “You’re disgusting. You could have given me a life-threatening disease.” She shivered at the thought.
“Sister Bishop, please. I know you’re upset inside, but you have to let Brother Bishop confess this if you two are to ever reconcile.”
“Pastor Reed, I’m sorry that you had to witness my behavior, but reconciliation is not an option. I’ve heard enough. Michael Bishop is lower than low. If he cheated on me that easily, then what’s to stop him from doing it again? Praise God that He spared me of any sexually transmitted diseases; I know because I got checked out.” She gathered her things. “Thank you, pastor, for your time.”
Without another word, she walked out on unsteady legs. Desi hurried to her car as if a dog were chasing her. Once she was behind the wheel and her doors locked, she cried harder than she did the first time she learned of Michael’s betrayal. “Lord, what’s in this for me?” She swiped at the tears as she started her engine and sped off, daring her soon-to-be ex-husband to cross her path.
CHAPTER ~8~
Michael’s face stung. He didn’t fault Desi for the smack. He deserved it. The air was still as the hurried click of Desi’s heels faded down the hall. When he was about to go after her, Pastor Reed waved him to remain seated.
“I’m sorry I caused her so much pain.”
“Your wife is hurting and she has to work through this. I don’t condone violence, but I’m not surprised by her actions. Those were pretty graphic details for a wife to hear coming from her husband. The only one that can help her get through this is Jesus.”
“Right. Despite my actions, I really do love my wife.” He rubbed his face in frustration and stood. “Thanks for your time.”
“Not yet, Brother Bishop. Not only is your marriage in need of repair, so is your spiritual commitment to God. If you repent, the Bible says in 1 John 1:9 that the Lord Jesus is just and faithful to forgive. Have you done that?”
“Countless times.”
“I haven’t seen you in church in a while.”
“I was too ashamed to come.” Michael looked away.
“But you’re here now.” Pastor Reed reached for his Bible and flipped through the pages. “Proverbs 22:1 talks about a good name. Your father passed on a great name to you, which is commonly used as the title of great men who serve God. Just like we hold on to the name of Jesus that is above all names, your name stands for something.”
Michael didn’t need to be reminded of how he had failed God with a name like Bishop.
“But it’s verse three of that chapter I want you to meditate on: A prudent man foresees the evil, and hides himself: but the simple pass on, and are punished.”
“The red flags.” Michael nodded. “I thought I was serving the devil notice when I boasted about my wife. I thought that was a loud signal.”
“But you didn’t back it up. The devil knows the Word, too, and many times saints don’t back up their words with the Word. What does Psalm 119:11 say? Thy word have I hid in mine heart, that I might not sin against thee. Jesus rebuked Satan with the Word. You should have so much Word in your heart so that when Satan used that other woman to tempt you, you would have rebuked her with the Word instead of submitting to your body’s lust. How long did the affair last?”
“About a month.”
Pastor Reed replied, “I see. That’s a long time to be unfaithful. The longer you continue in sin and ignore God’s warning signals, Jesus will turn you over to your own lusts. You eventually are going to have to tell your wife everything and hold nothing back, no secrets regardless of how painful it is. If you hold anything back, Brother Bishop, it could come back to steal whatever headway you two make.”
“It doesn’t look good. She hates me.” Michael waited for the man of God to dispute his assessment, but the pastor didn’t.
“Sister Bishop’s devastated. She needs time to completely trust you again if you want your marriage restored.” He paused and frowned. “Women are emotional creatures. Expect a wide range of temperaments as she comes to grips with your affair. Pray for her as you pray for yourself.”
“Do you think she will forgive me so we can get past this?”
Pastor Reed was slow in responding. “I don’t know, son. God promised us salvation. Anything else we get in life is incidental.”
Michael groaned. That wasn’t what he wanted to hear. Thanking the pastor, he stood ready to leave, but Pastor Reed stopped him.
“I expect to see your presence regularly at Bible class from now on, with or without your wife.”
“Yes, sir.” He walked away, thinking there was nothing incidental about his marriage to Desi. He had to get his wife back at any cost.
***
“I can’t do this.” Desi said to Solae as they met for lunch a few days later.
“Do what?” Her friend frowned. “Go through with the divorce?”
Shaking her head, Desi stirred her French fry in a dab of ketchup. “No, go through any more counseling sessions with Michael. It’s too much. I’d rather see him once in court, cut the strings and move on.”
Solae leaned across the table and lowered her voice, “Was the counseling session that bad?”
Desi dropped her fry and covered her face. Hiding behind her hands, she tried to get the images of Michael’s descriptions out of her mind. After she faced Solae again, she swallowed. “When he told me about how and where they had sex—” Suddenly, Granny’s words to keep others out of her marriage stopped her from saying more. “Enough about me. What’s going on with you? Are you still thinking about moving?”
If Solae was surprised by the sudden subject change, she hid it well. “Yep, I’m thinking Chicago. I can go back to school, further my education and maybe as I get closer to social security age, my inability to have children won’t matter to a man.”
Without a doubt, they both were hurting because of men they loved. Pushing her drama-filled life aside, Desi’s heart bled for her friend. Solae had never been married and wanted to so badly. But maybe God was sparing Solae from the heartache that Desi was going through now. “Well, we’re prayer partners, right?”
Solae sniffed. “We’ll keep praying for each other to grow stronger in the Lord. I believe we’ll both get through this. I know life doesn’t seem fair to you or me in our situations, but I’ve got to trust God.” She blinked and looked away.
Desi studied Solae’s beautiful facial features. She had the prettiest eyes and long hair. Desi’s assets were her long s
hapely legs, but she had her hair cut in a short sassy style. Maybe, if she had kept her hair long, then Michael might not have strayed. Stop it!
She refused to make excuses for her husband’s unfaithfulness. Once the divorce was settled, maybe she would relocate to another city, too, and start her life over. She definitely would revert back to her maiden name. She wanted Michael Bishop to be a faded memory.
Checking her watch, Desi sighed. She had to get back to work. Solae paid the tab as a treat and the two hugged their goodbyes. Desi was in a better mood as she headed to work. She just needed to vent, but she’d almost said too much to her friend.
Ten minutes later, she pulled into her parking space at Johnson & Lansdowne. Her phone rang. She scowled, hoping it wasn’t Michael again. It was a good thing she had missed his text, apologizing again and asking if she was all right. That was a joke. She would never be all right after the heartache he put her through. Desi was relieved that her grandmother was the caller.
“So, what did your pastor say?”
“Granny, aren’t you the one who told me to keep other people out of my business?” Desi masked her sarcasm with just enough sweetness to not to be disrespectful.
“That’s other people, I’m exempt.”
As she strolled into her office, she hushed into the phone, “I just got back to work and I can’t talk right now.”
“Then you come see me later.” Click.
While at work, Desi tried to stay low key. She was heading into the break room to put her lunch leftovers in the refrigerator when she overheard two of her coworkers mention divorce. Desi froze. Were they gossiping about her?
“Amazingly, we get along better since the divorce a few years ago. We share custody of the kids and he pays his child support on time,” Wanda Butler chatted with another coworker from a different department.
Desi exhaled as she quietly entered the room and accomplished her task. They barely acknowledged her.
“What does your new boyfriend say about your relationship with your ex?” the other woman queried.
Slowing her departure, Desi wondered about the answer to that, too.
“I told Greg what Tyrone put me through and he says quote, ‘As long as the jerk doesn’t step out of line when we get married, there won’t be a problem.’ And Greg loves my babies…”
With a bittersweet smile, Desi headed to her cubicle. Yes, there could be a life for her after divorce. Once at her desk, she focused on a new project that kept her busy all afternoon. She had to hurry and finish up so she could leave on time.
When Desi arrived at her grandmother’s house, she was smothered with hugs and kisses before she could get into the door. “There’s my sweetie pie. How’s Michael?”
“How’s me.” Desi stomped her foot as if she wanted to act out a temper tantrum. “I’m your granddaughter, remember?”
Laughing, her grandmother shooed off her concern. “I can see you’re doing fine. You look better and you’re not so dark under the eyes. I guess the counseling session helped. So my question remains, how’s Michael?’
Desi flopped on the sofa and crossed her legs. “It helped all right. I—”
“I’m glad to hear that because more important than anything, including your marriage, is the restoration of Michael’s soul. God seeks the lost sheep and for Michael to break his vow with you shows he was lost. So yes, keep praying for him and I’ll be praying for both of you that God’s will be done. Read Romans 12:20.”
Desi silently agreed that Michael’s main focus should be reconciliation with God, then they could dissolve their marriage with cordiality. After that, they could move on with a clean slate, but what did Romans 12:20 say?
“Come on back to the kitchen. I’ve got supper ready.”
“Okay.” She didn’t budge as she pulled up the scripture in the Bible app on her smartphone. Therefore if thine enemy hunger, feed him; if he thirst, give him drink: for in so doing thou shalt heap coals of fire on his head.
Was Michael her enemy? That question remained in the back of her mind as her grandmother blessed the food and Desi had two servings of collard greens and cornbread.
CHAPTER ~9~
“You do know there’s a possibility that you may never win Desi back, man,” Zachary stated after Michael had changed clothes after work to attend Bible class.
His brother’s drive-bys were becoming routine as he felt obligated to check on the status of his marriage and the progress of his franchise.
“Thanks for your vote of confidence.” Michael scowled at him.
Zachary toyed with his car keys. “I’m just sayin’. I’ve been checking on her sisters and mother while you’re missing in action. Let me just say, I had to wave the white flag before I stepped foot on their property. They were ready to shoot darts at me because of my last name. I just want to prepare you. Your prayer needs to be for her to recover. She’s struggling emotionally.”
“Tell me something I don’t already know, man.”
“It may take a very long time for her to forgive you and I know you’re not a patient man.” Zachary chuckled. “Remember when you proposed?”
“Yep.” Michael smiled for the first time since he could remember. “Even though Desi loved me, she flat out told me she wasn’t sure if she was ready to commit.”
He had convinced Desi that he was different than the likes of her stepfather, brother-in-law at the time and her sister’s live-in boyfriend.
“I will love you until my last breath,” he had whispered on a chilly November night that happened to be the first snowfall of the season. “Desi, I want to be the man to make you happy, to prove you wrong, to show you that all men aren’t dogs and to be the faithful father of your children. I want to buy you a big house, and let you be a stay-at-home mom. I want to support your dreams. I want to prove my love to you.”
His words came back to haunt him. Michael couldn’t stop the feeling of hopelessness from descending over him.
I am not against You. Remember, you’re more than a conqueror, God settled Romans 8:31-39 in his heart.
With renewed encouragement, Michael swiped his Bible from the table. “Sorry to rush you, bro, but I’m heading out to Bible class. I told Pastor Reed I would start coming.”
Zachary got to his feet and patted him on the back. “Glad to hear it. Take care of yourself and Jesus will take care of the rest. I only want you to get Desi back if you’re going to treat her right. If you can’t keep your will power zipped up—literally—then let her go.”
“There’s too much at stake this time. I’m not going to blow it. See you later.”
Michael arrived at church and parked. He didn’t get out right away as he watched other families and singles hurry toward the entrance. Michael reflected on the reason he was there, running back to God like he did when he was a child running back to his mother to fix things.
It had been so long since he’d regularly attended Bible class, much less Sunday services. As the owner of his local franchise, he would never schedule himself to work more than once a month on a Sunday or twice a month on a Bible class night.
He wondered if Desi was there. Was she sitting in the same section? How would she respond to seeing him days after his horrible confession? Michael couldn’t stall any longer. He got out of his car and walked purposefully to the front door as if he had every right to be there regardless of the guilt trip the devil tried to lay on him.
His main focus was to get his soul back on track and his wife back in his life. When Michael entered the sanctuary, he didn’t try to spy out Desi. In a random row, he knelt, not forgetting about the saints’ tradition of thanking God for letting them return to His house of worship. Michael added a plea of repentance. Then made himself comfortable on the pew with others.
Glancing over his shoulder, his eyes searched the crowd, crisscrossing the pews until finally he slowly connected with hers. Everyone and everything seemed to fade to the background as Desi’s face came into full focus. The hate h
e saw in her eyes when he last saw her was gone. It was hurt that was visible before she looked away.
God help me. He sighed and turned back toward the pulpit.
Pastor Reed adjusted the microphone on the table in front of the podium. “Good evening, and praise the Lord, saints of God. Shall we stand for prayer?” He waited as most able-bodied complied. “Lord Jesus, we come boldly before Your throne of grace where Your mercy is plentiful. We need You today in our lives. We know Your Word is not politically correct. Your truth will hurt our feelings, shame our lifestyle, and call it as You see it. We thank You for Your forgiveness and blessings without batting an eye… God, You called us out of a world of darkness; help us tonight to follow Your light as we study Your word, in Jesus’ name. Amen. You may take your seats.”
When the pastor scanned the auditorium before opening his Bible, Michael wondered if he was looking for him.
“I want us to continue our study of what it takes to live righteously in a wicked world. Let’s go back to Ephesians six. As previously discussed, there’s only one way to suit up for Christ. Saints, pay attention to this. Neither Iron Man nor any other superhero has gear as durable as faith in God. When the enemy sneaks up behind you to seduce you, turn around and resist him with your shield…”
After a few more illustrations, the pastor moved on to the helmet of salvation. “It’s not manmade. It’s sturdy with invisible strength to take the hits. To walk with Jesus, you’ll take hits from scoffers, those committing immoral acts, which includes anything from infidelity to homosexuality, backsliders, and the list goes on. Their job is to remove your helmet and injure your mind where you will begin to believe that good is evil and evil acts are “okay” or good. Wrap your mind around God’s Word. That is your helmet....”
If only he had used the tools God had given him, Michael would have resisted. It seemed so easy in hindsight. He closed his eyes. “Lord, I’m so sorry I let you down. I know you’ve forgiven me, but I’m having a hard time believing it,” he mumbled.