Maybe This Kiss

by Jennifer Snow

  She parked the truck in front of his house and turned in her seat. “Look, things don’t need to be awkward.” She paused. “I’ll admit there’s still a very strong attraction between us, but it can’t go anywhere.” She took a breath. “But, I decided this morning we can be friends.” She looked ready to say more, but she clamped her lips together instead.

  Unbuckling his seatbelt, he slid closer, his best intentions of leaving her alone evaporating the closer he got. Common sense seemed to take a backseat to the overwhelming urges to touch her, kiss her, hold her whenever he saw her. “What if I don’t think I can be just friends with you?”

  If he could, it would make life so much easier for them both. But if the tug in his chest was any indication, he’d always want more from her. He’d moved on years before because he hadn’t had a choice, and time and distance had helped numb the longing and love he’d had for her. But being back in Glenwood Falls had all of those emotions bubbling to the surface, and he knew living in the small town with her, working in close proximity on the military base, and seeing her around the arena would drive him mad.

  And there was shit-all he could do about it.

  He watched her swallow hard and her eyes fly to his lips, but she didn’t answer.

  “The thing is, being friends will get complicated and confusing, lines will get crossed, emotions will get in the way…and one way or the other we will wind up in bed together and someone—most likely me—will get hurt.” He slid his hand along her cheek, tucking a wispy strand of hair behind her ear. It was true, so why was he moving closer when he should be moving away, opening up his heart when he should be shutting her out?

  She seemed to be holding her breath, and so was he. The night before, he’d decided it was best to stay away, but the night before his body wasn’t aching to touch her, his lips weren’t drawn to hers…And the smell of gingerbread certainly wasn’t helping things either. “So? Do you really think we can be just friends?”

  She hesitated. “That’s all I can offer,” she croaked.

  “That’s not true. And the problem is, I know you have so much more to offer.” He’d been lucky enough to be with her years before, and the memory of how great they’d been together wasn’t helping his new resolve. He slid his palm along her exposed collarbone, caressing her skin before resting it behind her neck beneath her soft scarf. He moved even closer, drawing her face toward his. “That kiss the other night…I know you felt it, too,” he murmured against her lips, his gaze locked on hers.

  She looked flustered and confused, struggling with her own conflicted thoughts. “You said it was awful,” she whispered.

  “Awful because it reminded me of all of things I walked away from, made me regret the time between that kiss and the ones before.”

  “Kissing me again won’t help,” she said, looking more than ready to prove her point.

  “I’m willing to give it a try. One more kiss. One you’re expecting this time.”

  * * *

  One more kiss could start a whole lot of trouble she wasn’t sure she was ready to get caught up in.

  Trouble, but also passion, something she’d been missing for a long time. Her mind was caught in a tornado of thoughts, so she went with her body instead. Leaning forward, she kissed him.

  Just like the other night, the second her mouth brushed his there was no stopping. She slid her arms around his neck as his lowered to wrap around her waist, pulling her closer. Her leg pressed against the gear shift, but she didn’t care, wanting only to be as near him as possible.

  Eyes open, she couldn’t help but stare at him as his mouth savored hers. Intensity and desire were etched across his features as his tongue teased her bottom lip. She sighed and his eyes opened, a look of surprise registering when he saw her looking at him. He pulled back slightly. “That’s cheating,” he whispered.

  She swallowed hard. “I’d forgotten how gorgeous you are.”

  He grinned. “You sure it’s not just the uniform?” he murmured, kissing her softly again.

  It certainly didn’t hurt. The light camo jacket and pants, clinging to his muscular thighs and arms, made her mouth go dry. Oh God, Holly was right. She was a hero bunny—attracted to the thing that also caused her hesitation. “It probably has everything to do with the uniform,” she said, pressing her lips to his for another kiss. He’d already broken their agreement of just one, so what were a few more?

  He must have agreed. This time the kiss was hard and long, and left them both gasping for air. Holding her to his chest, the smell of his soft, yet masculine aftershave intoxicating, he said, “Come inside.”

  Damn, he made that sound so easy. Her body ached with desire for him. The pulsating need between her legs demanded she say yes. She wanted to feel his hands, his mouth, his body all over hers, connecting with hers, one with hers. She longed to be as close to him as possible, enjoying the feel of his arms around her, savoring the familiar taste and smell of him, even though she knew it was a bad idea to start something with him. The old memories that had been resurfacing since he’d arrived back in Glenwood Falls were playing tricks with her heart. She needed to get control of her runaway emotions before things got further out of hand. “No.” No? Where the hell had she found the strength to say that?

  She watched his Adam’s apple bob up and down as he nodded slowly. “Yeah, that’s probably smart,” he said, while contradicting his words with a soft kiss at the hollow of her neck.

  Her spine tingled. Closing her eyes, she enjoyed the feel of his lips moving across her exposed collarbone. The rough stubble on her delicate skin brought her body to life. It had been far too long since she’d felt desirable, wanted, and the idea that it was Neil desiring her, wanting her, made it hard to breathe. He knew her better than anyone, knew what turned her on, knew what made her insides turn to mush and what made her toes curl…Being with him now would be amazing, but it could also tear her carefully pieced-together heart apart.

  “Are you sure?” His mouth traveled toward her chest, and she couldn’t remember the question. She rested her hand on his thigh as she moved closer, ignoring the voice in her head, telling her she should be moving away from him, not closer. Her hand slid even further up his muscular leg and his grip on her tightened. The thought that he was still turned on by her touch gave her courage to creep her fingers even higher toward his crotch. So many nights, she’d tease him this way, sitting next to him in the front seat of his truck, driving him wild, until he’d pull over to the side of the road and take her right there in the cab.

  “Becky, I’m going to need an answer,” he whispered.

  “What was the question again?” She pressed her other hand to his chest, creating a gap between them and keeping those far too amazing lips away from her. “I can’t think when you’re doing that.” It was also difficult to breathe.

  “Don’t think.”

  He obviously wasn’t. He was letting go and giving in.

  “For once, put that overactive, beautiful mind to rest, and just feel…” He wrapped his hands around hers, bringing them to his lips.

  It had been forever since she’d felt anything close to the sexual need, the desire to be satisfied raging inside her. Could she give in to them? She wanted to. And maybe that was enough. “Let’s go inside,” she said.

  Less than twenty seconds later, he closed the door behind him and backed her up against a wall. He lifted her arms above her head as his lips crushed hers.

  That full, tempting mouth was taking her breath away, and damn did it feel like the only thing happening in the world. Her entire body felt like it was on fire. Freeing her hands she reached for the zipper on her jacket and yanked when it refused to budge. She tried again. Nothing.

  “What’s the matter?” Neil asked, removing his own jacket and tossing it onto the back of a chair, in a living room filled with unpacked boxes.

  “The zipper is stuck.” Her heart raced as her common sense started to return. “Maybe it’s a sign.”
<
br />   He stepped toward her and lifted the bottom of the jacket, pulling it off over her head. “Yeah, a sign that you need a new jacket—nothing more,” he said, smoothing the now staticky strands of hair around her face. His eyes fell to her body, and he placed his hands on her hips, dragging her into him once more. “I have a confession to make,” he said, kissing her neck.

  She barely heard him. Right now he could confess to murder and she’d turn him into authorities later. Much later.

  “I haven’t been able to stop thinking about those panties I rescued from your washing machine.” He reached for the button on her jeans.

  “Well, you won’t find those under there,” she mumbled. Oh God, what would he find? Reason number one not to have unexpected sex. But panic came too late as he’d already slid her jeans down over her hips.

  Taking a step back, a wide grin appeared on his face as he took her shoulders and turned her around.

  “Hey!” Her body was far from perfect on either side, but if she had to choose, her butt and thighs were not what she’d have him looking at. She’d planned on distracting him from any problem zones by redirecting his attention to her breasts, the one part of her body she could count on. The part of her to have changed the least since he’d last seen her naked. The part she knew he loved.

  “Days of the week underwear?” he asked with a laugh.

  She glanced back at her bright orange Little Miss Sunshine–themed “Monday” underwear. “I told you, my life is busy.” So, everything was organized right down to her daily underwear—he couldn’t possibly understand how hard it was to raise a daughter…Oh shit! “Taylor,” she said quickly, pushing him away and yanking her jeans back up. “I’m late for her.” Again. There would be no winning Mom of the Year this year.

  His eyes widened. “My bike! It’s still on the side of the road.”

  Wow, he was in more of a panic than she was. “Yeah, ’cause that’s the same thing as a child.”

  “To me it is,” he said grabbing his cell phone. Then he stopped and walked toward her. “Don’t think this is the end of…this.”

  The words were loaded. She knew he meant more than just the sex they’d been about to have, and suddenly she was grateful for the chance to escape. Opening up old wounds along with their sizzling, resurfacing attraction wasn’t something she was in any rush to do. She whipped past him, grabbed her inside-out jacket, and headed for the door and the safety of the cold, blowing wind outside. “Oh, yes it is. I had only planned on losing my sanity once.”

  “We’ll see,” he called after her as she jumped into her truck and slammed the door.

  Damn, he was probably right. Since finally seeing one another the other night, it seemed she couldn’t escape him. She didn’t doubt for a second they’d find themselves alone again. The thought filling her with anticipation and anxiety.

  Her pulse still raced and the words What the hell were you thinking? played on repeat as she reached the arena ten minutes later.

  “Why do you look guilty as shit?” Jackson asked when she nearly collided with him and Taylor as they left the building.

  She sent him a dirty look. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’m not guilty about anything.”

  “Tell that to your inside-out jacket,” he muttered, so Taylor didn’t hear.

  She punched his shoulder before turning to Taylor. “How was hockey, sweetheart?” She breathed in deeply, then exhaled slowly, still working to calm her thundering heart.

  “You look different,” Taylor said, eyeing her suspiciously.

  “You do look different,” Jackson agreed, folding his arms across his chest and grinning at her obvious discomfort.

  “I look exactly the same.” Man, she felt like she had as a teenager when she’d gotten caught sneaking into the house after curfew. Taylor had inherited her grandmother’s intense, piercing gaze, and she was staring at her as though waiting for an explanation. Well, she was an adult now. She didn’t have to explain shit. Right?

  “That’s her lying face,” Jackson told Taylor.

  She shot him a shut up or I’ll strangle you look.

  But her daughter’s face widened in a smile. “You were Christmas shopping, weren’t you?”

  That was easier. She shrugged. “Maybe.”

  “For a new hockey stick?” Her excitement made her voice reach a pitch only dogs could hear. “No, don’t tell me,” she said quickly. “I want it to be a surprise.”

  Becky glared at her brother as Taylor ran off to the truck. “Thanks a lot. Now I’m going to have to buy her that hockey stick.”

  He grinned. “Fix your coat.”

  Chapter 6

  Four hours later, Neil had dropped ten grand on a used truck and couldn’t shake thoughts of Becky from his mind. An image of her sexy ass in the tight orange underwear made him chuckle as he climbed out of the vehicle in front of his house. She was the only woman on the planet who could make him laugh and turn him on at the same time. She always could. Funny how the memory of those Little Miss Sunshine underwear was beating the hell out of his thoughts of her in the thong. It didn’t matter what she was wearing, the same beautiful, tempting curves hide underneath. Her thin, athletic build had changed a little over the years, but now her breasts and ass were harder to resist.

  Their sex life had been slow in starting, and not because he’d been reluctant. He’d wanted to do it, but she’d wanted to wait until she was ready, and he’d respected that. But after their first time, on Becky’s seventeenth birthday, they hardly went a day without. They couldn’t get enough of one another, their teenage hormones fueling the sometimes awkward sex at first until he’d learned what gave her goose bumps and what made her moan…then it had changed to a deeper, intimate connection that had meant so much more.

  Maybe that was part of the reason basic training had had such a negative effect on their relationship. Without Skype back then, it had been letters and a ten-minute phone call on Sunday nights keeping them in contact. He wondered if things would have been different…would be different now.

  “What’s so funny?” Blake asked as he got out of his own truck in the driveway next door. He’d driven him to the dealership.

  He shook his head. “Nothing.”

  “You mean, you were thinking about Becky.”

  How the hell? “How did you get that from ‘nothing’?”

  “I saw her leave here earlier today.” Blake shot him a look.

  Nosy neighbors—a disadvantage of small-town living. Neil shrugged. “I tried.”

  “For all of twelve hours. Man, I’m telling you now—her brothers may only be hockey players, not Mixed Martial Arts fighters, but they will fuck you up if you break their sister’s heart again.”

  That’s not how Neil remembered things going down. “She broke things off with me. Get your facts straight.”

  “Because you left.”

  “I wasn’t planning on being away forever.”

  Blake eyed him. “Where’ve you been for the last twelve years, man?”

  “She was married, and then too much time had passed.” Yet, being with her now felt like no time at all. Sure, life had aged them both, but at her core, she was still the strong, caring, beautiful woman he remembered. “I’m here now,” he said as he unlocked his front door and went inside.

  But for how long, he wasn’t sure. His last tour overseas had been over a year ago, and he’d be getting a new deployment assignment in the new year. The thought was a kick to the gut. He had no idea what was happening with Becky, but he knew he wanted the opportunity to see if they could have something again.

  Was it smart? Hell, no. But he couldn’t deny that his body and his heart still wanted her just as much as they had years before.

  * * *

  “I swear this time of year, my workload increases by a thousand percent,” Alisha Carlisle said as she and Becky waited for their daughters in the school hallway the next afternoon. She scanned the bulletin board outside the classroom door
and sighed. “I mean look at this December schedule—bake sale, toy drive, pajama day, snowman building, gingerbread house competition…”

  As she listed the various school activities, Becky felt her own anxiety rise. These things were fun for the kids, but they required a lot of prep work and for parents to have an infallible memory.

  “Oh, and Shay told me she tried out for the Christmas play this year. They’re assigning parts today.”

  Becky nodded. Her usually shy daughter always tried out as well. So far she’d lucked out with shepherd costumes that were easy to throw together with some fabric and rope.

  Alisha rubbed her tired looking eyes. “Fa-la-la-la-freaking-la,” she muttered more to herself than Becky. Recently divorced, the mom of four had even more on her plate than Becky did.

  She hesitated briefly, pushing aside the thousand and one things already on her to do list before saying, “I’ll make her costume, if she gets a part.”

  Alisha’s look of gratitude made her immediately glad she’d offered. “Thank you, Becky. You’re a lifesaver.”

  Five minutes later, however, when the girls appeared, excited to share the news of their roles, Becky wished she could go back in time and keep her mouth shut. “A donkey and a sheep?” Was she seriously hearing this right? “Since when does the school use kids for the animals?” Every year so far, they’d used plastic nativity sets.

  “There were more kids than usual trying out,” Taylor said with a shrug as they headed toward the truck.

  Becky sighed. “Okay, sheep and donkey it is.”

  “Why are you here today, anyway? I thought Grandma was picking me up,” she asked, climbing into the back.

  “I took the day off.”

  “But don’t you still have the children’s Christmas party to plan and the basket delivery schedules to finalize?”

  Wow. She hadn’t realized her daughter was paying that much attention whenever she rattled off her ever-growing list of commitments. “Yes, I do.” And time was running out. Especially now that she’d agreed to make costumes for the play in less than two weeks. “But I wanted to take you to hockey,” she said, feeling a little guilty that it was only partially true.