“You think I’m like her?” Sarah asked in an offended tone. “You think I would’ve treated Grandma Pearl like that? I loved Grandma Pearl. I can feel her spirit in the cabin. I can feel her when I read Hazel’s book. I would never be like your mother.”
“I think your bitterness is similar to my mother’s . . . and I don’t want that for you, Sarah.” Anna picked up a willow branch, bending it in her hands. “I want you to be strong and resilient like a willow. I want you to forgive and heal and move forward with grace and beauty. But you have to choose it for yourself, Sarah.”
“How?” Sarah stood with a defiant look in her eye. “How do I choose it?”
“Well, first of all, you have to want it. And then, you might need to ask God to help you forgive. Did you ever read those Bible verses that I wrote down for you? The ones about what Jesus said about forgiveness? How we can only receive God’s forgiveness when we’re willing to give it to others just as freely as he gave it to us? Did you read that yet?”
Sarah shook her head.
“Then I suggest you read it. Perhaps we can sit down and read it together. But you have to choose to do it for yourself, Sarah. And then you simply move forward, one step at a time.”
Sarah politely thanked Anna for the tea then headed for the door. Anna wasn’t sure if she planned to go read the Bible verses or if she was angry at being pinned down like that. And, really, Anna didn’t care if she had angered the girl. It was high time Sarah got beyond these rough waters.
28
Anna had just finished the last of the candleholders when the phone rang. To her surprise it was Johnny Johnson, and he was out of breath.
“I thought you were fishing with Clark,” she said.
“I’m at the hospital, Anna.”
“Are you okay?”
“I’m okay. But it’s Clark.”
Anna’s heart lurched. “What? What’s wrong?”
“He’s in the emergency room.”
“Why? What happened?”
“He fell, Anna.”
“But is he okay?”
“I’m not sure. But can you get down here?”
“Yes. I’m on my way.” She hung up the phone and grabbed her jacket and hurried down the stairs, calling for Sarah as she ran to her cabin. She knocked loudly on the door, and when Sarah didn’t answer, Anna opened it. Seeing Sarah wasn’t there, she quickly wrote a note saying that Clark had been hurt and was in the hospital and that she’d gone to town. Then Anna ran down to the dock, started the boat, and was soon racing down the river.
She could hear Clark’s calm voice in her ear, saying, “Take it easy, Anna. Calm yourself. Be safe. Slow down.” And so she slowed the boat down a bit and tried to take some long, deep breaths, steadying herself as she guided the boat down the center of the river, focusing on the glossy dark water, watching for any logs that might be floating below the surface, trying to remain calm.
Even so, all she could think was—what would she do without him? Of all the loved ones who kept moving and slipping away . . . always leaving her behind . . . Clark was the one constant she could always count on. What would she do without him? She couldn’t bear to think of it. And so she prayed, begging God to please just spare her this one part of her life—he could take all else from her, even this beloved river . . . if only he would spare Clark. Oh, she knew it was futile to bargain with God, and, really, it wasn’t what she was trying to do. But she knew in her heart, she would give up all else to keep Clark.
To her relief, Johnny was waiting for her at the dock. He secured the ropes and helped her from the boat. “I’ve got the car,” he explained. And soon they were en route to the hospital.
“What happened, Johnny?” she demanded. “How did Clark fall while you were fishing? Was he on the jetty?”
“Something like that,” Johnny mumbled. “It was about a sixteen-foot fall. He hit his head. He was unconscious.”
“Oh, no.” Anna took in a quick breath.
Now Johnny began talking about what a great friend Clark had been to him and how he helped Johnny to find the good in life and how he didn’t want to lose him.
“Do you think that’s possible?” Anna asked in a shaky voice.
“I don’t know, Anna. It looked bad.”
She stared at him now, noticing that he had tear streaks on his face, like he was just as frightened as she was, and, in that instant, it felt like someone had just set a bag of rocks on her chest, like she couldn’t breathe. Closing her eyes, she leaned forward, praying desperately for God to spare her husband. Not only for her sake, but for Johnny’s sake, too.
It was strange to see the cheerful-looking Christmas tree in the lobby. All thoughts of the upcoming holiday festivities had been obliterated from Anna’s mind. All she could think of was Clark. Was he alive?
“He hasn’t regained consciousness,” the emergency room doctor told them. “We’re monitoring him, and his vital signs seem to be stable.”
“What does that mean?” Johnny asked. “Is he going to be okay?”
“It’s too early to say. And we haven’t ruled out a spinal injury yet,” the doctor continued. “But our biggest concern right now is the injury to the brain. When a patient doesn’t regain consciousness after fifteen minutes, it becomes more serious. Clark has been unconscious for more than two hours.”
“What does that mean?” Johnny asked again.
“It means it’s very serious. The longer a patient remains unconscious, the more likely it is they are sustaining brain damage.”
Anna felt her knees getting weak. “Can I see him?”
“Let me check first.”
Without saying a word, Johnny and Anna stood there waiting for what felt like an hour when finally a nurse came out and asked for Anna.
“Yes?” Anna eagerly went to her.
“You can see your husband now. But not more than ten minutes.”
“Is he conscious?” Anna asked hopefully.
“No.” The nurse solemnly shook her head.
Anna followed her back to where Clark was lying motionless behind a privacy screen. His face looked so pale and lifeless that she had to choke back tears. The nurse pulled a chair next to the bed for Anna. “Just ten minutes,” she reminded her.
Anna sat on the edge of the chair and, reaching for Clark’s hand, careful of the tube in his arm, entwined her fingers around his. “Oh, darling,” she whispered, “please, please, come back to me. I love you so much. I can’t go on without you. Please, come back.” She continued talking like that, rambling on about how much she loved and needed him and then she began to pray. It wasn’t until she felt someone tapping on her shoulder that she realized her ten minutes must’ve expired. She opened her eyes to see that Clark looked exactly the same.
“I’ll be back,” she told him. “Don’t leave me now, darling.” She bent down to kiss his cheek, feeling the stubble on her lips. “I love you.”
Her tears were flowing freely when she returned to the waiting area. Finally, she got enough control to tell Johnny that Clark was still unconscious. “It’s like he’s not even there,” she said with a fresh sob.
Johnny ran his hand over his forehead and moaned. “I’m so sorry.”
Anna excused herself to the restroom where she cried some more then, splashing cold water on her face, dried her tears and blew her nose, determined to be stronger. For Clark’s sake, she would keep herself together. It might look hopeless, but she still had prayer. And she could ask everyone else to pray as well.
“I forgot to tell you that Sarah called here at the hospital when you were in there with Clark,” Johnny told her. “The head nurse said she sounded pretty upset. You might want to give her a call.”
Anna nodded. “I’ll do that.”
Sarah answered the phone on the first ring, and Anna, trying to keep her voice even, described the gravity of the situation.
“Oh, Grandma!” Sarah cried.
“Can you do something for me?” Anna asked.
“Yes! Anything!”
“Please, call Marshall and Lauren and anyone else who loves Clark enough to really pray for him.” She took in a short breath. “Because prayer might be all we have right now.”
“I’ll do that, Grandma.”
“Thank you.”
“And I’m praying, too.”
Anna thanked her again then hung up. She went back to the nurse’s desk now, asking how often she’d be able to visit him. “I just think it might help for me to be there with him,” she said urgently. “Maybe if he can hear me . . . maybe it will help him wake up.”
“Let me check on that for you,” the nurse said in a compassionate tone.
“Thank you.”
To Anna’s relief, the doctor decided that it couldn’t hurt for Anna to sit with him. “And if he shows any sign of regaining consciousness, you can alert us.”
“Yes,” Anna said eagerly. “I’ll do that.”
Seated by his bed again, Anna began to speak to him like she’d done earlier. Only this time, she tried to keep her voice calm and even, tried to keep her tears at bay. She began talking about how she’d felt when they’d first met nearly twenty years ago. “I’d felt middle-aged and faded and sad and lonely . . . I felt all used up and worn out,” she confessed, “until you looked at me that day, Clark. When I looked into those eyes—those river-blue eyes—well, everything changed then. You made me feel like a girl again. I was young and fresh and new. That’s what you did to me, Clark. You still do that to me.”
She continued talking, telling him how important he’d been to her, how she couldn’t have done the inn without him. She told him how much she loved him, reminding him of all they’d done and built together and how they weren’t done yet.
Every once in a while, she’d look up at the big clock on the back wall. Judging by what the doctor had told her, Clark had been unconscious for more than three hours now. She wondered how much the prognosis worsened with each passing hour. What if he never woke up? And so she returned to praying again.
With her eyes closed and her warm hand wrapped around his cool lifeless one, Anna prayed like she’d never prayed before. Then shortly after she’d peeked at the clock again, cringing to see another half hour had passed, she was surprised to feel a movement in her hand. Clark’s fingers had tightened their grasp.
“Clark,” she said hopefully. “Clark, are you there? Can you hear me? Oh, Clark, please, come back to me. I need you so!”
With her other hand, she reached to touch his face, stroking his forehead and his cheek, imagining she could see muscles twitching, hoping it was so—and then his eyes fluttered open.
“Oh, Clark!” she exclaimed joyfully. “Oh, darling!”
At first he looked bewildered, almost as if he didn’t know her—and her heart gave a lurch—but then the corners of his mouth curved into a smile. “I’m in trouble now,” he said in a rough-sounding voice.
“Of course you’re not in trouble, Clark.” She stood up and tenderly kissed him. “You’re not in the least bit of trouble.”
“What happened?” he asked with a confused expression. “Where am I?”
“In the hospital. You fell and hit your head while you were fishing today,” she explained.
“Fishing?” His brow creased causing him to wince in pain.
“Let me run and get the doctor, darling.” She hated to release his hand. “He needs to see you. I promised I’d tell them when you came to.”
“Hurry back,” Clark said weakly.
Anna ran out, calling for the doctor and nurse, excitedly telling them the good news. And Johnny, who was standing by the nurse’s station, let out a happy hoot. Then Anna followed the doctor and nurse back and, waiting on the sidelines as they began to check him and ask him questions, said a sincere thank-you prayer. She couldn’t hear everything being said but thought it was a good sign when the doctor and nurse both burst into laughter. Clark must’ve been clear enough to say something amusing.
Finally, the doctor just shook his head. “Well, maybe this is our Christmas miracle this year. But you seem to be just fine, Mr. Richards.”
“Can I go home?” Clark asked.
“Not today,” the doctor said. “That was quite a blow you took to your head. I’d like to keep you here to observe overnight. But if you continue to improve like this, I think we can let you go home tomorrow. As long as you promise you’ll get several days of bed rest. You’ll need to take it very, very easy.” He chuckled. “And no more fishing!”
Clark held up his hand like making an oath. “You have my word.”
The doctor laughed loudly, like this was a good joke. Anna didn’t really get it. But she didn’t care either. She was so happy to have Clark back that she just laughed along with them. Before long, Johnny came in to visit, too.
“I called Sarah and told her that you’re going to be okay,” he told them. “You really had us scared, Clark.” He let out a long sigh. “I wasn’t ready to lose my best fishing buddy yet.”
“But the doctor made me swear off fishing,” Clark told him. “Told me it was time to hang up the old fishing pole. And I think he’s probably right.”
“Aw, you don’t need to go fishing no more,” Johnny said. “We caught enough fish to last a lifetime.” And the two men chuckled like this was still a very funny joke.
Anna tried not to feel left out. And, really, what did she care if they enjoyed their silly boyish humor, the important thing was that she had Clark back. What else mattered?
29
Busy taking care of Clark, Anna left the bulk of the holiday preparations in Sarah’s hands. Sarah took these responsibilities seriously. She got a tree in place and decorated it. She did some baking. And she even took Anna’s boat to town and did the shopping. But during this time, Sarah seemed somewhat distant and moody. However, Anna didn’t have the time or energy to deal with it.
“Like I already told you,” Anna reminded Sarah as they unloaded the groceries in the kitchen, “we can have a very low-key celebration this year. The most important thing is just being together.” Anna hadn’t brought up the subject of Lauren again. And since the wedding was to be a rather simple affair, there was no need to speak of it much. If Sarah chose to boycott the ceremony, so be it. Anna decided she no longer cared. Sarah would have to paddle her own canoe.
On the day before Christmas, Clark was finally allowed to get out of bed and move around some. But sore from two cracked ribs and the bruises incurred in his fall, he was moving slowly. But all things considered he was in rather good spirits. And when Skip and Jewel arrived, he perked up even more.
“We came early in order to ask you something,” Skip told Anna and Clark.
“Go for it,” Clark said as he reclined on the sofa with a cup of cocoa.
“We want to come back,” Jewel exclaimed.
“It’s not working out,” Skip said, “living so close to my folks.”
“It’s awful,” Jewel confessed.
“But it hasn’t even been a month,” Anna pointed out.
“Yeah, but it’s really not good,” Skip explained. “I hate working for my dad. I never wanted to be a plumber.”
“We want to come back here,” Jewel said again. “This feels like home to us.”
Anna laughed. “Well, then by all means come back.”
Clark patted his midsection which was wrapped in a stretchy bandage. “We need you more now than ever.”
In response, Jewel patted her midsection which had gotten enormous and nodded. “And you don’t mind that there will be three of us soon?”
“Not a bit,” Anna assured her. “You know that I wanted that baby around here. I just didn’t want to come between you and Skip’s family.”
“But you guys are my family,” Jewel proclaimed.
Sarah came in with a hard-to-read expression as she set a plate of cookies on the coffee table. “You and Skip are coming back to the inn?” she asked.
“Isn’t it great?” Jewel said enthusi
astically as she reached for a cookie.
“Yeah.” Sarah nodded. “I guess so.”
It wasn’t long before Marshall and Joanna and Lauren and Brad arrived. They had coordinated their travels in order to share a boat on the river. Anna got them settled into their rooms and cabins, and after a while, they all began to gather in the house upstairs. Everyone that is, except Sarah.
“It’s so wonderful to have you all together like this,” Anna said as they stood around the crackling fire. “It seems long overdue.”
They visited and caught up as other guests, including Johnny and Margie and Mrs. Smyth, began to arrive. Anna’s plan was to serve a casual buffet and then play games and sing Christmas carols. But it bothered her that Sarah was missing. Still, she decided to do her best to ignore this. After all, she had told Sarah that it was up to her whether she participated or not. She had obviously chosen not to.
“Where is Sarah tonight?” Mrs. Smyth asked as they were eating.
“I’m not sure,” Anna admitted. “Maybe in her cabin.”
Lauren tossed Anna an uncomfortable look, but Anna just shrugged. Then, as the guests were beginning to enjoy dessert, Lauren excused herself. Anna was tempted to chase her daughter down the stairs and demand that she stay and participate in the celebration with them, but she knew it would be futile. Lauren’s feelings were probably hurt by Sarah’s absence. And, really, who could blame her?
Anna could see that Clark was wearing down. “I don’t want to put a damper on the party,” she told everyone, “but I’m going to have to insist that Clark call it a night.” She smiled at him. “I know your doctor would back me on this.”
He made a helpless look. “I suppose I better mind her. Otherwise, Santa might put a coal in my stocking.”
To Anna’s dismay, the rest of the party began to break up after that. But as she got ready for bed, she decided that perhaps it was for the best since they still had Christmas day to spend together. And then there was the wedding. No sense in trying to do it all in one night. Seeing that Clark was already sleeping soundly confirmed that she’d done the right thing. It was ironic though . . . finally, she had her family here with her and she was content to just go to bed. Maybe she was getting old.
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