He twirled me around a few times before dipping me. His expression was so serious. And the last few pieces of my heart that I’d kept for myself.
For the just-in-case.
Fell into his hands.
I felt the exchange in my soul as tears filled my eyes.
Jessie Beckett was mine.
And I was his.
“Tell me,” he whispered in my ear.
“Tell you what?”
“Everything.” He twirled me again. “Favorite childhood memory, most hated color, embarrassing stories, I want it all . . . I want you.”
We stopped dancing.
My chest was heaving.
This, this was what I’d always wanted but been too afraid to hope for. “Do you mean it?”
“Yes.” His eyes flickered to my mouth. “I’m kind of regretting that whole not-kissing-on-the-first-date rule.”
“Bet you are . . .” I teased, gripping him by the shirt and pulling him in close, our mouths a half an inch apart, sharing the same air, existing in the same universe. “I hate the color gray, one time I sent a love letter to Jonathan Taylor Thomas’s fan group and sprayed it with perfume, and my favorite childhood memory is baking with Goo-Poh during the Chinese New Year. Your turn.”
We stopped moving.
His mouth was still so close to mine I could almost taste it.
“I used to hate the color red . . . now it’s my favorite, especially on you. Most embarrassing moment is the day Colin accidentally kicked a ball into my junk and I puked in front of all of my friends. They called me Retchy Jessie for a whole year.” My lips quirked. “And favorite childhood memory I’m going to exchange for favorite current memory.”
I sucked in a breath.
“Proposing to you. Dancing with you. Loving you. In a few days, marrying you. Seeing you covered in flour from head to toe. Red. Red. Red. Every favorite is attached to you.”
I kissed him.
He didn’t stop me, just pulled me into his arms and kissed me back so hard that I felt his heart beating against my chest, felt his erratic pulse as his lips moved possessively over mine. His kiss sent a flurry of sensations through my body as he swirled his tongue and released another spurt of lust between us. A scorching heat took over as he removed my flimsy pajama top and shoved my shorts down. Without warning I was pressed against the wall and then Jessie was filling me, my legs trembled as my knees clamped against his naked hips. Over and over again he rocked in a rhythm I almost couldn’t keep up with, his lips still fused to mine. My body closed tightly around his as he flexed his legs and braced an arm above my head.
His husky voice whispered my name, and then he was groaning out a curse. “Isla, you have no idea what you do to me.”
“I can feel it.”
“It’s more than this.” His lips grazed the side of my neck as he pushed forward, sending me into a fit of ecstasy. “It’s so much more.”
His hard thighs pressed against my hips one last time before he clenched his teeth, his greedy mouth took possession of mine, and I was lost as wave after wave crashed over me.
“Isla . . .” His eyes were crazed. “I have to tell you—”
“I love you,” I interrupted, my eyes filling with moisture.
He surrendered his mouth to mine again, and hours later, when I woke up in his arms, it never once occurred to me that he didn’t say it back.
Chapter Fifty-Three
JESSIE
Two million dollars.
That was the price for silence.
Money wasn’t the issue.
It was the fact that I was paying someone off, someone I’d already given a large sum of money to, to do exactly what I was currently ready to pay her not to do.
Fuck.
She’d texted me an account number with a smiley face and “Thanks for doing business with me.”
Me: Proof, deposit all evidence you have at my house. If you ever go public, you’ll owe me triple what I gave you, and you’ll be imprisoned. My lawyer and accountant will handle things from here on out. Oh and I’ve also slapped you with a restraining order. Go. To. Hell.
It was taken care of.
The money was in the process of being transferred.
I had nothing to worry about. So why was this soul-crushing anxiety attacking every inch of my body and making me want to ram my fist through the wall?
I shook it off and fired a text to Blaire.
Me: It’s done.
Blaire: ????
Me: The Danica business: dealt with. Done, including a fancy restraining order.
Blaire: When you say done . . .
Me: Two million dollars done.
Blaire: YOU DIDN’T!
Me: I had no choice.
Blaire: So instead of coming clean . . . you’re just sweeping it under a two million dollar rug?
Me: I have to go . . .
I didn’t have an answer for her. Besides, it wasn’t her business, it was mine. I needed to tell Isla, I just didn’t know how to start that conversation. Oh hey, remember when I was out to destroy your career? Almost did, but don’t worry, I paid off the same hacker I paid in the beginning, so all is well. Should we pick out a wedding cake?
Damn it!
My mind wouldn’t stop coming up with all the ways she could find out without me telling, so much that I finally just grabbed my keys and headed to the dress shop on Rodeo.
I needed to confess.
Now.
Chapter Fifty-Four
ISLA
A month ago I ate an entire tub of ice cream while watching the fifth season of Orange Is the New Black and convinced myself I was never going to get married.
With Wayne, I’d been looking at dresses, but since we hadn’t set a date it didn’t make sense to buy something.
With Jessie, the date was set, and now I was struggling to find a stupid dress.
Goo-Poh was supposed to come too, but apparently there was a meeting she couldn’t miss, meaning if she did miss it Stanley would gain control of the retirement home. As Goo-Poh often said, “Over my dead, wrinkled body.”
Only she said it in Chinese.
And very loudly.
And aggressively.
Tears filled my eyes as I did a slow circle in front of the large mirror. I’d chosen a cap-sleeve embellished lace mermaid gown—it had a plunging neckline and hugged every curve. It wasn’t something I would normally choose, but the minute I put it on, the dress felt like it was made for me.
Blaire wiped her cheeks and poured herself more champagne, then stared at her phone for a good five minutes before turning around and giving me a huge smile. “You look beautiful!”
“You think he’ll like it?”
Her smile fell a bit.
“Oh God, he’s going to hate it, isn’t he? It’s too risqué with the plunging neckline, and the lace makes it look like I’m going to prom—”
“Isla.” Blaire put her hand on my arm. “It’s absolutely perfect.”
“It’s over eight thousand dollars.” I winced.
“Great, let’s get five!” she hissed under her breath.
“Blaire?”
“You look amazing and he’s going to lose his mind.” She grinned. “And they lived happily ever after.”
“You’re not . . . upset that I’m marrying Jessie, are you?”
Her jaw dropped. “Isla, no! I love his best friend, the Jessie train has plowed—” She stopped herself. “Bad choice of words. The Jessie train has moved on to greener pastures and I couldn’t be happier for you. Promise.”
“Okay, if you’re sure?”
“Positive. Now go change so we can swipe his card.”
I laughed and very slowly made my way back to the changing room and put on my jeans, tank top, and black blazer. When I was finished, I pulled my hair into a low ponytail, grabbed the heavy dress, and returned to Blaire.
Her purse and phone were lying there, but she was gone.
Her phone lit up.
<
br /> I glanced down, if Colin was sending her dick pics I was going to poke out my eyes.
She had several missed texts from him, and then Mayday mayday, what’s for dinner?
I laughed, typed in her code, and wrote back, Make your own dinner, by the way, this is Isla.
I clicked out of the message and saw Jessie’s name.
It was an invasion of privacy, plus they were talking about a surprise the other day, but then I saw “two million” and panicked.
Time stood still.
For five seconds while I read, time stood still.
I didn’t realize I was shaking until Blaire pried the phone out of my hand and helped me sit.
The bell to the store rang as Jessie barged in.
He locked eyes with me.
And the dreaded words fell from his lips: “It’s not what you think . . . I can explain.”
Tears blurred my vision as he approached me.
“Get away,” I hissed.
“Isla.” Jessie crouched in front of me and tried to pull me into his arms. I jerked away.
“We’re in public on Rodeo Drive, lots of cameras,” Blaire said under her breath. “Jessie, I’ll bring Isla home so you can talk.”
“Promise?” He didn’t look like he was going to leave.
“I swear.”
“Okay . . .” Jessie stood and then kissed the top of my head. “I love you, Isla.”
Too. Late.
Chapter Fifty-Five
JESSIE
I was losing my fucking mind.
I gave the girls an hour to get back to the house.
It had been five.
Five. Hours.
I called Isla’s cell every few minutes and left an apologetic message with instructions for her to call.
Hell, at this point I’d even take a messenger pigeon with a note saying she was alive.
Nothing.
I tapped my phone against my thigh, willing it to ring.
Then texted her again.
I’m sorry.
I’m so sorry.
We need to talk.
It’s not what you think.
Isla?
I love you.
Isla: YOU DONT DROP AN I LOVE YOU VIA TEXT YOU COMPLETE JACKASS!!!!!
What came after that contained enough curse words and memes to make my mind explode.
But at least she was talking to me.
Me: Isla?
Isla: I’m turning my phone off now.
Me: Where are you? Are you safe?
Isla: Maybe you should ask your little hacker, she seems to know everything anyway.
Damn it! How much did Blaire tell her?
They didn’t even have the full story!
Would it matter if they did?
I wiped my face with my hand and called Colin, he answered on the first ring.
“No.”
“You don’t even know what I’m going to say!”
“Uh, yeah, I do, you’re going to ask where Isla is, and you’re going to call in some sort of dickish bro code, and I’m going to punch you in the balls.” He said it so loud I held the phone away from my ear.
“The hell are you talking about?” I gripped the phone between my fingers so hard they went numb. “I just want to explain to her. I was trying to do the right thing!”
“You mean after doing the wrong thing?”
“Exactly.”
“You’re actually making our gender look dumber than it already is, you get that, right?”
“Damn it, Colin! I need to see her, I LOVE HER!”
He sighed into the phone. “I can’t, man, just know she’s safe.”
“It doesn’t matter.” My control fucking snapped as the panic and anxiety that had been attacking me finally hit full force. I fell to my knees and stared at my very clean kitchen.
And my very white and powder-blue walls.
All the things I hated about myself, all my insecurities, all my failures stared right back, and I had no one to blame but myself.
My house was the mirror of my soul.
Completely, utterly empty.
I hung up the phone and threw it against the wall, not caring that it sounded like it shattered into a million pieces.
A few hours later, my doorbell buzzed.
I was going to kill whoever was on the other side of that door.
I ran to it and tore it open just in time for Goo-Poh to slap me across the cheek.
Apparently I was getting killed first.
Chapter Fifty-Six
ISLA
Colin gave me a wide berth.
I blamed all men.
And he was a man.
I wanted to hate him too since he was guilty by being the best friend, but he kept my wineglass full, and the sharp pain in my chest was at least lessening enough that it didn’t hurt to breathe anymore.
I forced Blaire to tell me everything.
And I was livid.
Livid.
He said he was going to destroy me.
And he did.
Just not in the way he set out to. No, it would have been easier had he kept it all business and ruined my contacts, my reputation. But men like Jessie Beckett, they went straight for the heart.
And I knew mine would never be the same.
Because I gave him all the carefully protected pieces without knowing that he couldn’t be trusted with their care.
I wasn’t getting them back.
They were too damaged.
And so was I.
Colin’s phone started ringing.
Texts from Jessie kept coming on my phone.
And then Colin left the room.
Yeah, I bet Jessie was trying to get information out of him, too bad Colin loved Blaire too much to cave. I heard her threaten him twice already.
I tilted my glass back, not even tasting the red blend, and wiped my mouth with the back of my hand.
“Okay.” Blaire pulled the bottle from my other hand. “Not to be the devil’s advocate, but you read the texts as he arrived, what if he was coming to tell you?”
“Does it really matter?” I spat. “He still went behind my back! He slept with me while knowingly working with that woman!”
“Right.” Blaire nodded. “But if he loves you, which I think he does, why would he still do that? Something isn’t adding up. I’m not saying forgive him, I’m saying at least listen to him. I’d like to think he’s not that much of an idiot.”
“He is.” I grabbed the bottle. “Believe me.”
My phone went off again. I grabbed it and yelled into the phone, “Call me one more time and you’re going to be missing a testicle! It’s over, Jessie, GO TO HELL!”
“Isla?” Goo-Poh whispered. “What’s over? What’s wrong?”
My voice cracked.
And I blurted my sadness all over the phone.
Chapter Fifty-Seven
JESSIE
I’d never seen a small woman move so fast, she was like a ninja. One minute I was opening the door, the next I was fighting off slaps on the shoulder, the face, the stomach.
“Stop. Hitting. Me.” I backed away and threw one of the couch cushions, but Goo-Poh had studied the art of evasion. She jumped out of the way faster than a woman her age should be able to move and kept charging toward me. I almost ran. It wasn’t a proud moment.
“You hurt her!” Goo-Poh calmed herself and stopped charging, then said in a low voice, “So I kill you.”
I believed her.
She wasn’t smiling.
And her eyes were lethal.
She could probably take me out with some sort of secret roundhouse kick to the neck, tearing my artery in half and making me bleed out in less than three seconds, all over my white house.
Sounds like justice would be adequately served.
Let her take the hit.
I was dead anyway.
My soul was crushed.
My heart didn’t even feel like it was beating without Isla by my sid
e.
Empty. I was so fucking empty.
“I love her,” I confessed as I hung my head. “I love her so damn much, I thought I was protecting her, and when I finally got my head out of my ass I realized it was better to come clean even if it meant she walked away from me forever, but she found out first.”
Goo-Poh’s face didn’t flinch. Either she just had a stroke standing up, or she was actually listening to me.
“I want to marry her. I want to have babies with her.” My words tumbled out faster the more I spoke. “I want to build her a fucking house that has color. I want to take care of her, I want to come home to a mess, not this.” I motioned around the room. “I want her brand of chaos. Fuck perfection. I just need her. In my life. By my side. Forever.”
Goo-Poh twitched, I wouldn’t call it a smile, but at least she was alive and showing me some sort of movement, meaning I didn’t need to call 911. “Then you need to fight for her. Be the warrior she deserves.”
“She won’t answer my phone calls, she’s sending me middle-finger text messages, and I don’t even know where she is.” I sighed and collapsed onto the couch, my head in my hands.
“You don’t . . .” Goo-Poh sat down next to me. “But I do.”
“Really—”
She slapped my cheek again. “Yes, now pay attention.”
I swallowed my pride.
Rubbed my cheek.
And listened.
Chapter Fifty-Eight
ISLA
I flipped through the channels like a woman possessed. What the hell was it? Couples week? Even the Syfy channel had a movie on about two aliens falling for each other.
Lovely.
Even aliens got a happily ever after.
I scowled and turned off the TV, then grabbed my phone.
I hadn’t moved from my spot on Colin’s couch.
My ass was making an imprint in the soft leather, the longer I sat, the more I wanted to just close my eyes and sleep.
Tears spilled onto my cheeks again.
I was not that woman.
The kind to let herself get defeated.
I was the kind of woman who got pushed down and jumped back up, guns firing. So why was this affecting me so much? Why was his betrayal so painful? Especially considering everything was set up on a lie in the first place?
Dangerous Exes (Liars, Inc. Book 2) Page 21