Past Regrets: Love and Friendship, Book 2

by Shelley Munro

  Excitement flared inside Julia. Her friends were right. Myriad clubs had opened and closed on K’ Road over the years. Her mother’s club had weathered the competition and remained an institution. Now it was time to reinvent and carve out a new niche.

  “You’re excited by the challenge,” Ryan murmured.

  Yes. Yes, she was. “I can do this.”

  “I never had any doubts. Look at your friends. They don’t have an ounce of uncertainty either. We’re on your team, Julia.”

  Julia coughed delicately in an attempt to shift the growing lump lodged in her windpipe. He might be right when it came to the club, but he’d have to go back on the road with the band. They’d be separated because the club would keep her tethered to Auckland.

  “Don’t,” he said quietly. “I can hear you thinking. This marriage is going to work. I won’t see it any other way.”

  “Theory is fine. It’s the practical things that’ll make a relationship between us difficult.” She winced, emotion a tight fist interfering with her heartbeat. “What about children?” Oh, god. What was she doing?

  His brows drew together, gentle fingers tipping up her chin, forcing her to meet his direct gaze. “You want children?”

  A familiar pain gripped her, the loss of her baby tormenting her like an infected tooth. She forced out a light laugh, and thought she managed quite well. No one would guess her feelings, the despondency still hiding bone deep in her soul. No, she’d never wanted children—not until she’d discovered she was pregnant.

  His expression changed, making her realize she’d hesitated too long. He’d deciphered her silence as negative. She hurried into speech. “We never discussed children.”

  “No.” His eyes narrowed on her in silent regard, but luckily he didn’t ask questions or poke at the barely scabbed wound. “We didn’t discuss a lot of things. I’m looking forward to learning more about you and making up the deficit.”

  “Besides, children wouldn’t work with you on tour.” She fell silent, aware she was laboring the topic, yet unable to stop herself.

  His stare forced the creep of heat up her neck. Yeah, stupid! She should have kept her big mouth firmly shut. “What do you think of the club? What are they doing that Mum isn’t at The Last Frontier?”

  “The exclusive vibe seems to work for them. The service is adequate, but not perfect. The ambiance is okay—nothing special or memorable, but the presenter is a nice touch. I don’t think their dancer is as good as you, but everyone seems to appreciate her act.” He gestured toward a table of men, most in their early twenties.

  His summation of facts, the same observations she’d already assimilated in her mind let some of her panic retreat.

  “How long did you work for your mother at the club?”

  Her stress levels took off again, soaring to breath-stealing heights. The minute someone learned of her past, they treated her differently. Mention the words exotic dancer and most minds took the straight leap to sex and prostitution. While she wasn’t ashamed of stripping, she didn’t broadcast it either.

  Connor returned with a tray of drinks, thankfully interrupting their quiet discussion. She accepted a glass of wine with a smile and set it down while glancing around the club, jumping deeper into analyzing mode.

  “Julia, you haven’t answered my question.” Ryan’s quiet insistence had her reaching for her glass.

  She took a healthy swig, offering little respect to the crisp notes of summer fruit. Her stomach churned as she took a second sip. Irritation layered on top of her panic and fear, and an outrageous thought struck her. Hell, prevarication wasn’t working. Why shouldn’t she hit him with the truth? “I worked at the club from the age of sixteen.”

  “Sixteen, but that’s—”

  “Underage,” she interrupted. “I know, but I needed money to pay for clothes and secretarial courses. I had to save because my mother put in everything she had to pay off the mortgage on the place. I worked at the club and left once I turned nineteen.” She damned up the spill of words and waited for his horrified reaction, waited for him to come to the conclusion he’d married a prostitute. Even now, the taunts from kids at primary school burned her ears. She recalled in excruciating detail every hushed conversation from her school friends’ parents. Yeah, she’d learned firsthand how people thought the worst and judged.

  It shouldn’t matter if Ryan formed the same opinion as others but it did. When he’d asked her to marry him, she’d considered a confession and finally talked herself into not saying anything. The why of her decision became important now. Her breath whooshed out, her streak of honesty kicking her on the butt.

  She’d loved Ryan and hadn’t wanted to risk losing him. The irony of it was she’d lost him anyway.

  Chapter Five

  Ryan insisted on escorting her home. At the entrance to her apartment building, he kissed her on the cheek before leaving in the cab with Caleb. Once again, he confused her with his behavior. He was unpredictable, still mesmerizing. Drat it! She shoved him from her mind, going through her usual pre-bed routine.

  Three hours later, she roamed her apartment unable to sleep because her thoughts ran around a track with no finish line in sight. Ryan. The club. The hundred and one things on her to-do list.

  And secrets. God, those secrets kept beating her over the head with a pointy stick.

  Exasperated, she grabbed a notepad and pen. If she couldn’t sleep at least she’d manage a jump-start on the things she needed to do during the coming weeks. Her pen flew across the page, bullet points and ideas filling the white space.

  Then her mind drifted in Ryan’s direction and the way they’d first met. Fate, Ryan had called it, and she—the woman with stars in her eyes—had agreed with every word. Yeah, it had all started at the pub. She’d been sitting alone, pondering her next move.

  “Surely it can’t be that bad?” a male voice had broken through her reverie.

  Julia’s head had jerked up, ready to tell the guy to piss off. Her sharp words died when her first glance stole her breath. Tall, with dark, slicked back hair and laughing blue eyes, he stood before her full of confidence. A black T-shirt stretched across his muscular chest. Blue jeans, faded at the stress points, completed his casual outfit. Bemused, she let her gaze linger before raising her eyes to meet his cocky grin.

  “You have no idea.” Julia snorted softly when a tingle of acute anticipation struck her hard—the beginning thrill of the ritual dance between male and female. Curse her randy hormones. One glance at his confident face made her suspect the way her night would end. Amusement filled her as she imagined Susan’s disapproving reaction. So, shoot her. She found a man with self-confidence sexy.

  “I’m Ryan and this is Caleb. Can we buy you a drink?”

  Her gaze slid to the second man, who stood beside his friend. They were a similar height and build, but Caleb’s black hair was longer, a leather band holding it off his face in a ponytail. Two cuties. Maybe she would manage to hold the loneliness at bay after all.

  “Thanks, I’d enjoy that. I’ll have a glass of Pinot Gris.” She indicated the vacant chairs at her table. “I’m Julia. Have a seat.”

  “You are alone, right?” Caleb’s deep voice stroked across her like delicate fingertips, and she suppressed a moan as desire sped through her body, danced through her veins and coalesced into a spark of promise in her sex.

  “As of tonight,” she confirmed. “My boyfriend and I had a disagreement about his proclivity for chatting up other women. I don’t like to share.”

  Ryan’s dark brows rose. “Never?”

  “Ryan, I’ll grab the drinks. You want a beer?”

  “Please.” Ryan never took his gaze off her. She’d always thought of pale blue eyes as cold. His glowed with intimacy and secrets and a hint of cockiness, and she barely resisted the urge to squirm as he directed that power on her. “You never share?”

  She hesitated. She’d never been frightened of sleeping with a man on the first date—not if i
t seemed right. Tonight, her gut was telling her this man was a good catch. His friend too. Julia took a leap of faith and decided to play along. She didn’t have to leave the pub with them.

  “I might, under the right circumstances.” She thought about playing coy, but that wasn’t her. Most men seemed to appreciate her straight approach. “We’re talking about a threesome, right? You’re both good looking,” she continued, not giving him a chance to respond. “Why don’t you find a girl each? Why are you willing to share?”

  “Because we noticed you at the same time,” Caleb said, setting three drinks on the table. “We’re only in town for tonight.”

  “Is that a line?”

  “No,” Ryan said. “It’s the truth. If you’re interested in sex we’re your men.”

  “Or you can choose one of us,” Caleb said, settling on the chair beside her.

  A startled laugh came from Julia. “Don’t you believe in sugarcoating the truth? A little light flirtation first?”

  “We can flirt if you like, but the truth is we saw you and wanted you,” Ryan said.

  “What if I say no? Will you leave me alone again? Hit on another woman?”

  “Nah,” Caleb said.

  “We’ll stay for as long as you then go home.” Ryan paused to sip his beer, and fascinated, she watched his throat move when he swallowed. “We can do without sex.”

  Her gaze went from one man to the other, inquisitiveness raising questions. Some men were precious when it came to questions about their manhood.

  “What?” Caleb asked.

  “You don’t…ah…you know.” Her hands waved through the air in lieu of words when she chickened out on asking the gay question.

  “Do Ryan and I fuck each other?” Caleb chuckled, unperturbed.

  “Yeah, that’s what I was trying to ask.”

  “Nope,” Ryan said, the appearance of faint laugh lines around his eyes betraying his amusement. “We’ve shared women, but that’s as close as we get.”

  Caleb winked at her. “I know his bad habits. There’s no way I could overlook his snoring.”

  “I don’t snore,” Ryan protested.

  It was easy to see the two men were close and comfortable in their skins. The confidence thing again—it got her every time. “How long have you known each other?”

  “Since we were five,” Ryan said.

  “And you’ve been friends ever since?”

  Caleb shrugged, his muscular shoulders attracting her attention. “We have a lot in common.”

  “So what do you do?” Julia decided the normal getting-to-know-you questions would work as well as flirting and giggling. She knew what they wanted. The question was did she want the same thing.

  “We’re in sales,” Ryan said.

  “Selling what?”

  Caleb grimaced. “Entertainment. Music mainly, but don’t make us talk about work. It’s the weekend.”

  “Time for recreation,” Ryan added in a husky voice.

  Julia laughed, amused by the pair and already stepping past temptation into certainty. Ryan and Caleb pushed all the right buttons on her libido. “What did you think of the band tonight?”

  “They’re going places,” Caleb said. “I understand they’re popular in Australia.”

  A grin hovered around Ryan’s mouth. “What did you think?”

  “I want to jump the lead singer.” Julia clapped her hand over her mouth, her eyes widening at her blurted thoughts.

  A moment of startled silence followed before Ryan and Caleb chortled.

  “Why didn’t you proposition him? He might have said yes,” Caleb said.

  “Please,” Julia said. “I bet half the females in the pub tried something suggestive on one of those guys. Their disguises are a masterstroke. It keeps everyone guessing, and when they hit the big time, they’ll have their anonymity.”

  Ryan cocked his head. “You think they’re that good?”

  “I do. No one talked over the music tonight. That’s a sign of better than good, and their sex appeal doesn’t hurt either.”

  “We’d better pay attention, Ryan. The lady has spoken, and her tip might come in handy with our job.”

  Ryan winked, and sexual awareness tugged at Julia’s nipples. His grin spread the glide of invisible fingers over her body, and a tremor of pleasure worked down her spine. Her breath caught. She intended to do this—sleep with two attractive strangers.

  Their apartment surprised her with its tidiness. Caleb picked up a remote from the arm of a battered sofa and the mellow sounds of a fifties ballad filled the room.

  “Would you like to dance?” Ryan tugged her into his arms before she had a chance to reply, and she automatically fell into step with him. The music didn’t quite fit her expectations either. That would teach her to make snap judgments.

  “Fifties music?” she asked.

  She felt a body move behind her and another set of masculine hands touched her, cupping her hips gently as he swayed to the rhythm. Julia relaxed, enjoying the music and the feel of two hard male bodies corralling her.

  “It’s one of the things we have in common,” Ryan murmured against her ear. “We enjoy music from different eras.”

  Ryan lowered his head to kiss the corner of her mouth. Caleb rubbed his body against her ass. Both men had erections, and the knowledge sent a bolt of lust spearing to her pussy. Her hands wandered under shirts, over bare skin, mapping Ryan’s shoulders, tracing the tattoo that disappeared under his T-shirt sleeve and testing Caleb’s biceps. She licked Ryan’s lips, encouraging him to open for her. The crisp taste of beer and a spicy masculine flavor hit her taste buds, and her fingers curled into his shoulders, forcibly holding her to him.

  Behind her, Caleb nuzzled her neck, his warm mouth sucking and nibbling. A nip of teeth sent a jolt of pain through her, the stroke of a tongue soothing the tender spot. A shiver followed on the heels of the sting, resulting in increased moisture between her thighs. He’d leave a mark, but she didn’t care. This amount of pleasure was worth the price of a little ribald teasing from her friends during the coming days.

  Then she ceased to think about anything except the feelings surging through her hypersensitive body. Ryan’s lips and tongue stroked hers, seduced and tempted her. Caleb’s hands slid beneath the silky midnight blue fabric of her camisole top, his calloused fingertips dragging sensually over her warm skin. His hands moved higher until they nudged the undersides of her breasts. Her imagination did the rest, shunting arousal to every inch of her body.

  Her eyelids lowered, screening her eyes, her lips moving against Ryan’s. The man could really kiss, and she appreciated his lack of haste. Somehow, most of their clothes disappeared, hitting the floor one by one.

  “I can’t wait to taste your beautiful pink nipples. I’m going to suck one deep into my mouth and play it with my tongue until it’s hard and needy,” Ryan said.

  “And I’m going to suck on the other one so you experience every sensation twofold.”

  It was amazing how she could tell one man from the other already. Caleb’s voice was a touch deeper. Both were sexy, but of the two, Ryan had the edge. She’d always had a thing for men with dark hair. That it came with sexy blue eyes was a real bonus.

  “Do you enjoy touching yourself?” The soft question was whispered in her ear and her eyes shot open. She found one man on either side of her. They moved well for big men. She hadn’t heard a thing.

  “Of course. I know what I like.”

  “Yet tonight you’re letting us touch you.” Ryan reached out, letting his hand hover over her breast. It was so close all she needed to do was take a deep breath and he’d graze her nipple.

  “Variety is good.” Huskiness coated her voice, told of her arousal.

  “Most women want to settle down and have a family.” Caleb’s words held a question, yet she didn’t feel as if he were judging her.

  “I haven’t found a man who engages my interest.” Julia shrugged her shoulders hard enough for her breast
s to bounce. Ah, contact.

  Twin grins bloomed. Caleb and Ryan worked in tandem, playing with her breasts, plucking and tweaking. Pinching. Stroking. Driving her to distraction while she tried to concentrate on the questions they asked.

  “So you don’t believe in divorce?” Ryan asked.

  Julia huffed out a laugh that ended on a needy groan. “This is the weirdest conversation I’ve ever had during a one-night stand.”

  “Maybe we’re not your average men,” Caleb said.

  Ryan didn’t answer. Instead he bent and brushed a soft kiss over her mouth before leaning lower still. He closed his lips around a nipple, the intense heat of his mouth making her moan her pleasure out loud.

  “Is he doing it right, sweetheart?” Caleb cupped one ass cheek with his big hand before he, too, claimed a kiss. He was rougher than Ryan, a darker flavor. Different but still very good. They kissed her, applying suction together, the sensations making her knees weaken, her folds wetter, plunging her into neediness.

  Caleb wrapped an arm around her shoulders, holding her upright with his strength. “Bedroom.”

  Seconds later, she bounced on the mattress, catching the hungry expressions on their faces. Two tom cats eyeing a mouse. “You’re looking at me as if I’m dinner.”

  Ryan’s hands went to the button fly on his jeans, and she tracked the move, noting the bulge at his groin. He paused, and met her gaze, his pale blue eyes glittering with amusement. “You say that as if it’s a bad thing.”

  “Let me see the goods,” she said, gesturing with her right hand.

  Ryan watched her from under heavy lids. “I want to remember you like this, all mussed and sexy. That challenge curving your lips. Your beautiful breasts marked by our mouths.”

  Ryan peeled off his jeans and boxer-briefs together, letting his erection spring out, diverting her attention.