The little bell jingled and without missing a beat Polly continued, “Yeah, Hank down at the gas station says that we’re supposed to have a real hot, dry summer. Says this could be a bad year for forest fires again.”
“Hey, Polly.” called a young woman from the counter. “I see you’re busy right now, but do you think you can squeeze me in for a weave and a hot-oil in the morning? I’ve gotta be in a wedding this weekend.”
“Sure, Karen, I just happen to have an opening at eleven.”
“Great, see you then.” The bell jingled again and the door closed.
“Seems so strange,” murmured Judith.
“What’s that, honey?”
”I used to know almost everyone in town. And other than you, I haven’t seen a single familiar face today.”
“Lots of the old-timers have left,” said Polly sadly. “Don’t blame them none either.”
“If you feel that way, why don’t you just leave too?”
“Stan, you never met him, but he was my third husband in a long line of losers— you know, I never was a real good judge of character when it came to men. Anyway, Stan wouldn’t hear of us leaving this place. I begged him for years. Then the dirty dog ups and leaves me for a girl barely out of high school. It was all I could do to just hang on here and try to make ends meet after he left me with a bunch of bills to pay. And beauty shops aren’t selling for a whole lot in Cedar Crest these days. I still think about leaving sometimes, but I’m no spring chicken, Judith. And I do like my little shop.” She spun the chair around so Judith could see her reflection.
“Oh, Polly, that’s so much better.” Judith touched the layers that now gently framed her face and curled onto her shoulders. “Thanks, you’re a miracle worker.”
“Now, hold still there for just a minute while I put a little color on that face, and maybe people might not mistake you for a corpse or a ghost or something.”
Judith sat quietly while Polly did her thing. It looked like she still sold the Suzy Lee makeup line she’d started with back in the sixties. At last, Polly spun her chair back around again to see. “I guess that’s an improvement too,” said Judith with reservations. “Although it’s a little shocking after months of being a plain Jane.”
“You don’t mean to tell me you went to work and everything looking like that?”
Judith nodded. “It’s been a tough year and a half.”
“Oh, sweetie, I am sorry.” Polly pursed her lips thoughtfully. “I’d say I know just how you feel, but the truth is I was never anything but glad after my men left me.”
Judith forced a smile, but it felt stiff and awkward, as if her smiling muscles were out of shape. Even her fifth-grade students this past year, although they seemed to like her, had often commented on how rarely Ms. Blackwell smiled.
“And now,” announced Polly as she flipped over the sign on the door. “It’s closing time. Hallelujah!”
“How much do I owe you?” asked Judith, reaching for her purse.
“No charge,” said Polly. “Just consider it a charitable act of good will!”
”I guess it would’ve been bad for business to have me leave here looking the way I did.” Judith smiled again. A small smile perhaps, but at least it was sincere. “Thanks, Polly.”
“My pleasure, honey, and I’m real sorry about having to give you the cold shoulder like that earlier.”
“Can I take you to dinner?” asked Judith. “As a thank you for your charitable efforts?”
“Okay, but if you want to keep talking openly like this, we’ll have to get out of this town to do it. There’s a pretty good restaurant over in Jasper—about fifteen minutes from here.”
“That’s fine with me, but I must confess I don’t really understand all this cloak-and-dagger stuff. Is it really necessary?”
Polly looked at her with startling intensity. “For me it is. Like I said, Judith, I live here. I can’t afford to land on nobody’s hate list.”
CHAPTER FIVE
JASPER, THOUGH SLIGHTLY SMALLER than Cedar Crest, seemed more lively and prosperous than its sister town to the south. Numerous cars were parked along its tree-lined streets, and people filled the sidewalks, strolling along in the warm evening air.
“This place has changed.” noted Judith as she parked her MG next to an old-fashioned lamppost with a basket of red geraniums suspended from it.
“Yes, they seem to be thriving over here. The Cascadia ran a feature about how Jasper is growing by leaps and bounds, and they described it as being so much more cosmopolitan than the rednecked town of Cedar Crest.” Polly shut the door to the small car with a hefty bang. “That’s exactly what they actually called us too—rednecked. Well, folks in town didn’t take too kindly to that kind of talk, and a number of them wrote in and canceled their subscriptions to the paper.” She pointed across the street to a restaurant where several umbrella-covered tables crowded the sidewalk. “That’s a pretty decent place to eat if you like Italian food.”
Judith didn’t dare admit that she thought the reporter might be right on the money in his comparison of the two towns. Already she could see a vast difference. “Shall we sit outside?” she asked as she lingered by an empty cloth-covered table.
“I suppose we could.. .” Polly frowned. “That is if you’re not worried about having flies dive-bombing your food while you eat.”
Judith shrugged. “You decide, Polly.”
They ate inside.
“Don’t you like your lasagna?” asked Polly as she took another bite.
“It’s great.” admitted Judith. “But to be honest, I haven’t been eating too well the past couple weeks—since school got out. I don’t have much of an appetite.”
“Sounds like you’ve been pretty depressed.”
Judith nodded as she absently pushed a piece of pasta across the plate. “Well, I think things were kind of getting to me lately. I’m not exactly sure why.”
“You’ve been through a lot. First losing your son to cancer, then your husband in that plane wreck.” Polly shook her head. “Seems like the women in our family have bad luck with men. Say, how’s your mom doing? I know she remarried a few years ago. How’s that going for her?”
“They seem to be happy. She and George just left for a South Pacific cruise.”
“Mmm, that sounds dreamy.”
They chatted on about mutual relatives, some dead and others Judith barely remembered. They covered the ups and downs of most of Polly’s life during the past twenty years, including a hysterectomy and a peptic ulcer which didn’t appear to affect her appetite. All the while Judith struggled to think of a way to gently redirect the conversation back to Jasmine. Finally she just jumped in.
“Polly, I can’t stop wondering why Jasmine never called me during the past year.” Judith ran her hand over the cool wet surface of her iced tea glass. “We were so close at one time, I wish she would’ve called.”
Polly broke off another chunk of bread, liberally slathering it with butter. “I don’t really know, honey, but my guess is that her husband kept her pretty much under his thumb, if you know what I mean.”
“It’s hard to imagine Jasmine being kept under anyone’s thumb—”
“Well, how “bout her father?” Polly raised one auburn-tinted eyebrow in suspicion.
Judith nodded. “Yes, you’re right about that. Her father was a bit of a tyrant. But Jasmine was a grown woman— had been for over twenty years. It seems she would’ve escaped his influence long ago.”
“I don’t know. I’ve seen women who almost seem imprinted—you know, they just go from one bad man to the next.” Polly laughed. “Take me, for instance. Not that I ever let my men bully me around—well, at least not physically. Why, if they ever so much as took a hand to me, I’d give it right back to them, and then some!”
Judith smiled wryly. “I’ll bet you did.”
“But I’ve seen women so browbeaten and intimidated; they remind me of little scared mice, all hunched down and fea
rful of every little thing. And to be honest, when I first saw Jasmine that day, why, that’s exactly what she looked like to me. Either that or, like I said earlier, the girl was on drugs of some kind.”
Judith shook her head. “Poor thing. It’s just so sad and confusing. Jasmine had so much potential. Her life should have gone differently.”
“When you get right down to it, none of us has much control over our lives. Just look at you, Judith Anne. You’re a prime example of how bad things do happen to good people. Far’s I can tell, there’s just no rhyme or reason for any of it.”
“Maybe not. But I’d still like to make some sense of Jasmine’s life if I can. For some reason it’s becoming important to me. It’s as though I need to know what happened to her.
For instance, I still don’t even know what caused her death.” She looked at Polly pleadingly. “Do you know?”
Polly diverted her eyes down to her nearly empty plate, neatly rearranging her flatware with lips pressed firmly together as if determined not to say too much.
“Please, tell me what happened, Polly.”
“Well, I guess you’ll find out sooner or later; you might as well hear it from your own relative.” She looked up at Judith. “It was a gunshot wound to the head.”
Judith’s glass slipped from her grip, hitting the table with a loud whack. She stared at Polly in horror. “Jasmine was shot?”
Polly glanced around nervously as if to see if anyone was listening, then she leaned forward and lowered her voice. “Self-inflicted.”
For the second time that day, Judith was surprised to feel tears fill her eyes. Her words escaped in a husky whisper. “Jasmine killed herself?”
Polly nodded soberly. “That’s what I heard in my shop. Of course, Hal and Jasmine’s folks tried to keep everything all hush-hush. I’m sure it was a real source of humiliation to them. They being the ones who are always so caught up in appearances and all.”
Judith used the heavy linen napkin to absorb the tear that had escaped, but a painful lump began to grow in her throat. She wasn’t sure she could even speak, not that words could express her conflicting thoughts. The image of Jasmine Marie putting a firearm to her head, taking her own life; it was unimaginable.
“I know, honey, it was a real shock to me too. I even felt guilty for not reaching out to the poor thing. I mean, especially since you two girls were so thick and all, it was almost as if she were kin. I’d had no idea that she was so desperate—I mean, to do something like that.”
Judith finally found her voice. “I just can’t believe she’d do that. Not the Jasmine I knew.”
“Like I said, people change. You admitted yourself that you hadn’t actually seen her since you girls were teens.” Then Polly’s eyes lit, as if suddenly remembering something. “And now that I think about it, I had seen her once before—one summer a few years after you and your mother had already moved back over to the coast. Jasmine came out to stay with her great-aunt—”
“Aunt Lenore?”
“Yes. Jasmine had just graduated from high school. She came to stay with Lenore and was going to look for a job in town. She even asked me for work, but I didn’t have a thing for her. Although I did give her a haircut. She was still wearing it fairly short back then, even though most of the girls were wearing theirs long and straight—making it awfully hard on us folks in the haircutting business. But Jasmine had me layer it into a cute little shag style—you know, the kind that was popular in the seventies. I even remember her laughing and saying how her father wouldn’t like it at all, and that seemed to make her real happy. Anyway, we chatted for awhile, and I remember thinking how much she’d changed from the young Jasmine I remembered.”
Judith leaned forward with interest. “How did she change?”
“Well, for one thing, she was very Southern. I mean, the way she talked and all sounded like straight out of Gone with the Wind. But what really got me was how she seemed sort of hard and toughened—like ya’ll better not mess with me. She told me how her dad had put her and her little sister into this private, all-white school; if I remember right, it was some sort of military academy “cause she told me how the kids all marched around and shot guns at targets and everything. Sounded pretty weird to me.”
“That does sound strange. Especially for someone like Jasmine. When we were little, she was always finding sick or injured animals and then nursing them back to health. And if they didn’t make it, she’d give them these beautiful funerals, complete with flowers and a proper burial under the back hedge. She even made little crosses out of Popsicle sticks and rubber bands. She was always a very nonviolent person.”
“Like I said, people change.”
“Or can be forced to change.”
“Whatever.” Polly sipped her coffee, then wiped her mouth with her napkin. “I’ve probably already said way too much.”
“That’s the other thing I don’t get. Why all this secrecy?”
Polly’s eyes narrowed. “There’s some things just better left unsaid in Cedar Crest. And for those of us who have to make our living there, you can’t be too careful.”
Judith frowned. “You make it sound as if the town is ruled by the Mafia.”
Polly’s eyes scanned the room again. “Something like that.”
“What do you mean?”
Polly lowered her voice again. “Well, just look around this restaurant, for instance.”
Judith looked around the nearly full restaurant. Waiters bustling about the tables. People happily chatting and laughing as they ate and drank. “So? It looks pretty normal to me.”
Polly nodded. “Well, do you see that Asian family in the corner? And that black couple over there by the window?”
Judith shrugged. “So?”
“Well, next time you’re in Cedar Crest, you just look around and see if you see any people like that there.”
“What about the Paxtons?”
“Long gone. It’s a sad story, and don’t ask.”
“Are you saying—”
“That’s all I’m saying, Judith.” Polly waved her hand for their bill. “I can’t afford to say anything else. And if you care about me, you won’t let on that I even insinuated as much as I did.”
“But I don’t get it—if there’s some connection—”
“Look, Judith,” Polly took on a stern expression that instantly added years to her face. “If you want to think there’s some connection to something, then that’s your business. I’ve said about all I dare to say on the subject—period.”
“But I just want to get to the bottom of it.”
“Well, that’s your decision. Just don’t expect to drag me along for the ride.”
Judith placed her cash card on top of the bill. “I don’t expect you to help me, Polly. I really do appreciate everything that you’ve told me, and I promise to respect your desire for anonymity. But...do you know where I might possibly find some more answers?”
Polly laughed loudly. “Answers? In Cedar Crest? You must be joking.” She paused for a moment as she picked up her purse. “Although there is this one guy.. .well, he doesn’t actually have the answers, but he does seem to have plenty of questions.”
“And who’s that?”
“Adam Ford.” She sighed dreamily. “And what a knockout—looks just like an older version of James Dean. Anyway, he’s a detective; just joined the Cedar Crest police force last week. He came by my shop asking me questions a few days ago. “Course, other than giving him a real warm welcome, if ya know what I mean, I knew enough to keep my big mouth shut I seriously doubt he’ll have many answers from anyone else by now, but I doubt it’ll be for lack of trying.”
Judith shook her head. “I feel so confused about all this. Maybe I should just go home and forget about Jasmine.”
“I think that would be a good idea.”
The waiter returned with the bill and Judith signed the receipt and left a generous tip. Then she closed her billfold and looked across the table to
see Polly now frowning at her with what appeared to be some serious concern.
”I just feel so confused, Polly.”
“Sticking around Cedar Crest won’t change that.”
Judith nodded. Suddenly everything seemed crazy and upside down, almost as if everything were spinning. What in the world was she doing down here anyway? An emotional reaction to Jasmine’s obituary had caused her to jump into her car and drive down here like a mad woman. And for what exactly? She painfully remembered their old blood sister vow again—nothing will ever come between us. But something had come between them—actually it was many things, uncontrollable things like time and space, life and death.
“Maybe you just need to let her go.” said Polly gently. She reached over and patted her hand. “Nothing you do will ever bring her back.”
“I know.” Judith nodded sadly.
“You know what they say, honey: Some stones are better left unturned.”
“You may be right, but it’s hard to just let go of her. I keep feeling like I need to know more, like I need to understand what happened. Who knows, maybe it’s for her sake.”
“Well, whatever you do, and especially if you decide to continue asking these questions, just take my advice, dear: be very careful.”
On the way back to Cedar Crest, Polly skillfully kept the conversation well away from anything to do with Jasmine. Probably her years of doing hair had enhanced her natural gift of gab. But oddly enough, Judith found the incessant chatter somewhat soothing—sort of like white noise; it distracted her from her own troubling thoughts. It was just getting dusky when she pulled up in front of Polly’s little beauty shop. Thanking her for her help, Judith promised once again not to reveal anything that Polly had said to anyone.
She drove down the street a few blocks to where an old fifties-style motor inn was still situated, looking very much like it had when she was a kid, only much shabbier. The same large sign boasted in green neon tubes that there was indeed a vacancy. Actually, there appeared to be many vacancies. And for good reason, she thought, when she surveyed the tiny, dingy room with its paper-thin walls and a mattress that sagged in the middle. Her nostrils flared at the stale smell of what must be years worth of accumulated cigarette smoke as she dropped her suitcase on the floor. Who in their right mind would choose to stay in a fleabag like this? But then again, who would have thought she was in her right mind when, only this morning, she’d come perilously close to doing what it now appeared her friend Jasmine had done? She swallowed hard. She had left her little blue pills back in her apartment. And, for the moment, thoughts of suicide seemed surprisingly remote and even somewhat unrealistic. She kicked off her sandals, and without removing her clothing or peeling back the limp, threadbare chenille bedspread, she fell across the lumpy mattress and immediately tumbled into an exhausted and long-overdue sleep.
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