by Rebel Adams
“Lilly, sweetie… I have to go. This isn’t the place for me. You’ve always known that. It’s time for me to go.”
“But, Are,” Are was the nickname she called me when she was sad, hurt, or scared. “I don’t know what to do without you. I’ll be all alone.”
“You’ll have to be a big girl, Lilly. Dad won’t listen to reason and I can’t marry Felix. I can’t.” I kissed her cheek and tucked her in bed. When she woke, I’d be gone. “Remember, as long as the sun shines and the moon rises, I’ll always love you. Love you to the moon and back. Goodnight, sweet pea.”
“I love you, Are, and please be careful. I love you to the moon and back.” I pecked her again and moved to the door, taking one last look at my sister tucked neatly in the bed.
My emotions had been set aside once my mother passed because I had to care for my sister and basically my father. He still led the lifestyle of having a wife at home. He would tell me he was raising me to be a good wife and mother. What type of child needs that shit at five years old? Yet there I was, taking on the specific roll. My life was nothing but school and work, then school and work. My childhood ended the minute my mother took her last breath. I remember being jealous, sitting in the garden, watching Lily playing with the other Amish kids. I wanted to be wild and carefree, but instead, I was doomed to the life of a wife and mother, like my father wanted. I feel guilty every day for leaving my sister, but I know deep down it was for the best. It’s just that my heart and head don’t agree.
There still isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t miss them. Miss my father, sister, and most of all, my mother. My mother was my best friend since the other children never played with me. They thought I was weird because I always talked about leaving. My mother always told me to follow my heart, even if it meant breaking hers. My art always kept me from falling into a deep depression. My mother would sneak me art supplies so that I could create my masterpieces. It was against the rules, but she knew it was my passion.
Now five years later, I find myself living above my studio not far from the farm. I guess I hope to get a glimpse of my sister, but it hasn’t happened yet. I went back once to try and convince my father to let her come live with me, but he refuses to let me speak to her. The owner lets me rent cheaply as long as I work at her clothing shop. The pay sucks, but it’s enough to pay the rent and keep food on the table. The work is fairly easy except for the inventory days. Those days are long and exhausting. I’ve made a couple friends while on the outside. Tasha, my best friend, is always harassing me to go out and date. For the most part, I know she is right, but all I really want to do is focus on my art. She came over this morning, beating on my door like a maniac. When I finally pulled myself from bed to answer, she was standing there grinning like an insane person.
“Arebella Renee, you really need to get out. You can’t stay cooped up in this apartment and studio,” she screams.
“Yeah I can.” She pulls a little black dress from my closet. She gave it me on my last birthday in hopes that I would go out. “What are you doing with that?” I ask her.
“You’re going to put this on and we’re going dancing. No more sitting here like an old lady.”
“I’m not going out with you, Tasha. By the way, thanks for just storming in here and invading my closet. Only rude people do that without at least saying good morning.”
“Good Morning” she mocked with her hands on her hips mimicking me. “Yeah you are, even if I have to beat your ass into this dress.” I know she means it. “Just come out with me. I promise it will be fun.”
“FINE. You never give up,” I say.
“Yay!” She smiles, bouncing up and down. There is no way to kill her joy.
Hours later, we are at the over-crowed smoky nightclub. We’d been here on several other occasions over the years and it has become our local watering hole. Today, this is the last place I want to be, but Tasha is on a mission. She certainly went all out when she decided to dress and primp me for the evening. When I looked in the mirror before we left, I barely recognized myself. I’ve always managed to run away when she comes at me with her make-up in the past. Tonight though, I gave in. I was too tired to argue. My hazel eyes are surrounded by a smoky-gray, really making them pop. My black hair is pulled up in a messy high ponytail, much to my relief as it gets in my way, and I have to admit, the fire red pumps I’m wearing go nicely with my black dress. My dress is a little more fitted than I usually like, but Tasha’s praises gave me confidence.
The music is so loud we can barely hear each other speak. I motion to Tasha, letting her know I am heading to the bathroom; she nods, following behind me. I feel a pair of eyes on me. Scanning the room to find them, I see them immediately. The same blue eyes I saw as a kid. My breath leaves my lungs and I stumble slightly in shock. It can’t possibly be him. Can it?
Brandon
My family is there to greet me as I walk down the walkway to the baggage claim area. The first thing I see are those sweet emerald green eyes of Emma‘s. She looks so grown up. She is tall, slender, and statuesque. Next, I see my mother and father standing next to her, both with huge grins on their faces. Just the mere sight of them makes me feel like home. When Emma catches sight of me, she immediately runs toward me.
“Oh, my God, I’ve missed you so much,” she says as she embraces me in a hug.
“I’ve missed you too, Dot.” My nickname for her came about when she was simply a dot in my mother’s stomach. I’ve been calling her that ever since.
“Ugh, Bran. Don’t call me that. Can’t you see I’m no longer little?” She protests.
“Yeah, I can” I say sarcastically and smiling.” But it isn’t going to happen”
“Okay, you two, can the mother get a hug, or are you two going to argue?” My mother nudges Dot out of the way and hugs me tightly. I then hug my father.
“Let’s get your bag, son, before these women start fawning over you.”
“Shut up, Leroy. I’ll do what I want. He’s my son and he’s been gone a long time,” she scolds my father. “It’s so good to have you home, honey.”
“It’s good to be home. I’ve missed you all. Let me go grab my bag so we can get going.” I hurry over to the carousel and pull off my bag as soon as I spot it. As I turn, Dot is back at my side.
“What’s up, girl?” I ask.
“Nothing. It’s just so good seeing you. I mean, you’re actually home.” I laugh as she pokes at me like I’m not real.
“Yeah, I am. Looks like I’ll be here awhile.”
“Thank God.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Before she can answer, my father walks over. Instead, she says, “Nothing. We’ll talk later.”
“Need any help, son?” my father asks.
“No, I got it.” We make our way out of the airport to the short-stay parking. I’m looking for the old green Explorer they had before I left, but to my amazement, we are heading to a silver Nissan Pathfinder.
“This is unexpected. When you’d get this?” I questioned them.
“They got it a few months ago. That green monster finally died. I had to convince them to get a new one.” Dot chimed in.
“You did not, young lady. We were getting a new car. We just hadn’t decided which one,” my mother responds.
“You see what I’ve been dealing with, Bran.”
I shake my head as we all pile into the car, after throwing my bag in the back. It’s a two-hour drive from the airport to our town. I’m looking forward to relaxing and catching up with some old friends. From what Dot tells me, most of my friends are still living locally. There is only one person I hope not to run into. That person is Amanda. We broke up on really bad terms, and she could be a real bitch when she wanted to be. Dot told me she’d become pregnant shortly after I left, by some loser. Serves her right for cheating on me.
On the way home, I chat with my family about my time in the military and about what they’ve been up to. My parents didn’t write much and
the phone calls were few and far in-between. We stop at a little hole in the wall restaurant we all use to love on our trips to the city. To see the smiles and laughter coming from my family fills me with honest to God joy. It’s a damn better sight than constantly dealing with death.
Overseas, every time we turned around, it seemed like someone was getting killed, whether it was on their side or ours. I think the worst part of it was seeing Derrick lose his life. I have a letter to give to his parents when I go visit them later on this week. I know his parents are probably still grieving his death, and I wish I could have been there for them. Unfortunately, they wouldn’t let me come home. They said my job was way too valuable and I couldn’t leave until the job was completed, whatever the fuck that meant.
Finally reaching the house three hours later, I’m filled with a sense of relief; it looks exactly as I left it. The green and blue shutters and well-manicured lawn brings calmness to me. On our drive through town, so much seemed to have changed. There were more buildings and shops, and of course faces that I no longer recognized. The town looked as though it had doubled in size. There were more stoplights and traffic on our way in too.
Everything was changing way too fast. The town I knew was small and quaint. You could keep your doors unlocked and everyone knew each other’s name. Now, I didn’t know what to think. At least the house is the same, the one thing I can depend on. That is until my mother opens the front door. The exterior of the house is the same, but not the interior. The walls are transformed from white to a soft yellow and there’s new furniture in the living room.
“Don’t worry, sweetheart, we kept your room the same. No changes there. We just figured it was time to give the house a face lift,” my mom says, no doubt seeing the shocked look on my face.
“Everything’s so different. It will definitely take getting used to. I’m going to go make some phone calls and rest if you all don’t mind?”
“Sure, honey. You’ve had a long trip.” I excused myself and took the stairs two at a time.
I open my door to find a neatly made bed just as I left it. Everything in my room is the same as Mom informed me. The walls are still a stark white, with posters of Brittany Spears plastered all over the wall. I was so in love with her at the time. I walk over to the bed and flop down on it. What am I going to do with my time off? First thing is probably a shower then a nap. Flipping my phone open, I hit the very first number in my contact list.
“Brandon, dude, you back?” Dave answers on the first ring. Dave and I had been friends since middle school. Derrek and I tried to get him to join the military with us, but he refused saying it was barbaric.
“Yeah, I’m back for a bit.”
“The gang is all going out tonight. You should come.”
“Sure, what time?”
“About ten. There is this new club in town,” he states. Dave and I shoot the breeze for a few minutes before hanging up. He said he’ll text me the club address and pick me up if needed. Taking a quick shower, I then lay down to sleep. It’s already four in the afternoon and I want some rest before my night out.
My alarm wakes me at eight thirty on the dot. I hop up, rubbing my eyes to try and find the beeping sound in the darkness. I can’t say I’m looking forward to going out. All I want to do is sleep. I guess I can sleep later. I have no plans tomorrow and can sleep as long as I want. Rummaging through my bag, I find my dark wash jeans and a button-down black shirt. I slip on the Jeans and take the shirt downstairs to iron, when I run into my mother.
“Going somewhere?”
“Yeah, going to meet Dave. All right if I borrow your car?”
“Sure. Don’t drink and drive though. Want me to iron that for you?” she asks. My mother’s one of those domestic women. She always has the house clean, laundry done, and clothes ironed.
“It’s okay. I can do it,” I smile.
“It’s no trouble. I miss doing things for you,” she says, taking the shirt out of my hands. “I’ll have it back to you in a jiffy.”
“Thanks, Mom. Did you all eat dinner already? I’m starving.”
“Yeah, we did. There’s a plate in the microwave for you. I came in your room, but you looked so peaceful so I didn’t want to wake you.”
“No biggie. The sleep was good,” I say to her, making my way to the kitchen. The kitchen, along with rest of the house, has been completely remodeled. The counters now consist of granite and all the appliances are stainless steel.
“Different, isn’t it?” My father’s husky voice startles me. “Damn near cost us an arm and a leg, but was worth it to see your mother smile.”
“Yeah,” I say, pulling the plate out of the microwave. My mother is the world’s best cook and today is no exception. The plate consists of meatloaf, mashed potatoes and green beans. I can’t wait to sink my teeth into it. “It’s good though. I like it.”
“Well, good. Where are you off to? Heard you talking to your Mom in the hallway.”
“Just to a bar over on Third Street. Dave says it’s a pretty hoppin’ place right now. Mom said I could borrow the car.”
“Sure, be careful and have fun,” he says, leaving the room. My father has never been much of a talker, but he’ll shoot the breeze every now and again.
“Here is your shirt, honey. All crispy for you.” I can’t help but smile at her. She looks so happy to have been ironing my shirt.
“Thanks,” I mumble, loading a huge piece of meatloaf into my mouth. “I’ll have to finish this later if I’m going to make it on time. Where are your keys?”
“They’re in the hallway on the table.” she yells as I make my way up the stairs. Thirty minutes later, I’m ready with my teeth brushed, clothes on, and hair combed. I make my way to the truck and I am soon off to meet my friends.
The bar is smoky, and loud from the live band playing. We’ve been here an hour and I’m not keen to stay much longer. That is until I look across the crowded room and see her. She breezes across the floor in a black mini dress, which shows off her perfectly shaped ass and slender legs. Where the fuck have I seen her before? I can’t take my eyes away from her. I stare down the nape of her neck, down to her perky breasts. Without realizing it, I walk away from Dave, who is saying something to me. Noticing she is heading to the bathroom with her friends, I follow them, hoping to get a moment with her. All I need is a moment and she’ll be mine.
Arebella
“Why is that guy following us to the bathroom?” I can feel my cheeks turning red as Tasha asks me the question.
‘I don’t know,” I say as my legs carry me faster to the safety of the bathroom. “He’s been staring at me for a while now.”
“He’s really cute. Why don’t you go say hello.” Tasha’s always pushing me to do more than I am comfortable with. There is no freaking way I’ll walk up to a guy and starting talking to him. What the hell would I say to him anyway? “Hey, I’m Arebella. I saw you when we were kids and have been looking for you ever since.” Yeah, that doesn’t sound crazy.
“I have to use the bathroom. It’s the reason why we‘re headed there.”
“Whatever, go say hi. He’s obviously into you. Look at those blue eyes.” Tasha stomps in front of me and shoves me toward Mr. Goddamn Hot.
“Stop. I don’t want to do this right now. I’ve got to tinkle really bad. You’ve been shoving drinks down my throat for the past hour.” I yank myself from her grip and continue my path to the bathroom. By the time I make it into the stall, I’m almost dancing around like a five year old ready to wet my pants.
“Told you I had to go. That would have been embarrassing to do a pee-pee dance in front of Old Blue Eyes.”
“Yeah, well, maybe he’s still waiting for you. It looked like he was on a mission to get to you. Seems like he knows you. Are you sure you don’t know him?” She’s never going to let this rest if I don’t tell her he’s the guy I’ve been talking about for the past five years.
“You remember the little boy I met when I was li
ttle?” She nods. “Well, I think that is him. It’s seems like he may remember me too.”
“No fucking way. You didn’t tell me he was so cute.”
“We were like five years old. I didn’t know then. I haven’t seen him since then.”
“Well, it’s time for you to go face your blast from the past.” She grabs me away from the sink and pulls me out of the bathroom, and sure enough, he’s standing there with a drink in his hand, waiting.
“Do I know you?” he says with a gruff voice. My panties become wet just at the mere sound of it. He’s staring at me, demanding an answer.
“I don’t think so.” I Lie. I’m not telling him just yet. “I’ve never seen you around here before. Are you new in town?” Sweat starts to build on the nape of my neck, and my nerves become more apparent the longer I stand here. Why the hell am I so nervous? I’ve been waiting for him for so long.
“Are you sure? I feel like I know you.”
“I’m positive,” I say as I tuck a piece of lose hair behind my ear.
“Hmmm. I swear I know you. I never forget a face. Especially a face like yours.” Holy shit, I swear I just had an orgasm by his words. I look behind to see Tasha has disappeared across the room. When we lock eyes, she holds her drink up smiling at me. Stupid heffa would leave me alone.