“I’m so sorry, Nora.” Arren sighed, closing her eyes. “I’m sorry I was careless, and I’m sorry you had to do that. I know you, and I know you will carry it in your heart even though you shouldn’t.”
“Shhh, be quiet, save your strength,” I pleaded.
“Nora, cut the shit. I’m dying, and we both know it. I’d rather spend the last few moments I have talking to my best friend.”
“No,” I said shaking my head. “Maybe there is something I can do. I’m not smart, but maybe I can think of something—”
“You stop that right now.” Arren’s voice was still weak, but I could feel the strength of her conviction. “Don’t put yourself down like that, Nora. Don’t let hateful bitches continue to hurt you. You’ve been a great leader, and you are strong, wise, and smart. Let’s face it; we knew something like this might happen. The Jackals have been our home, but it’s not exactly a good sort of life. If one of us had to go, I am glad it was me.
“I value my life, but I am just Arren Verra. You, on the other hand, you might change the world one day. I am okay with this. At least I don’t have to die alone. At least I can leave this rotting planet knowing that you will continue on. You were always destined for greatness, Nora.”
“Don’t talk like that, Arren,” I whispered. “Things will work out. Things always work out. Maybe the Creator will give us a boon, or there will be a miracle…”
“There already has been a miracle,” said Arren, grinning. Her expression showed the blood on her teeth, the image both ghastly, but still somehow filled with joy. “There is a Dolos orb on the street right now, Nora. A Dolos orb! One you can take! The only reason someone hasn’t come to get it already is that you are the baddest Jackal in this part of town and everyone knows it. I hate to burden you more, but I have a couple favors to ask.”
“Anything,” I immediately agreed. “You can ask me anything.”
“Good.” Arren gave me another terrible, bloody smile and looked me right in the eyes. “I want you to achieve your dreams, Nora. Go to the Mensk Academy. Become a legend. Clear your family name and even find your mother. Do everything you’ve ever told me you’ve ever wanted. Find yourself an amazing man to have babies with. You can do anything if you put your mind to it, I believe in you. But first, get the hell out of Bittertown. Lisa will use this whole thing to kill you or worse. I want you to live, Nora. Live and be happy.”
I bit my lip. “Okay, fine. Whatever. But I can’t leave without you, Arren. You’re...you’ve always been there for me.” I could feel my tears falling faster, but there wasn’t anything I could do about it. The seat of my pants was thoroughly soaked in blood now. It was starting to get cold and sticky.
“That’s actually the second thing I need you to do, Nora.” Arren grimaced in pain but held my hand with surprising strength. “You need to let me go. I’m not going to live, Nora...and I don’t want to still be around when the Jackals get here. If it’s someone like Vanna or Winda who finds me, I know I’ll be treated with respect. But Lisa? No.” Arren paused, then look me deep in the eyes and quietly said, “Nora, if I’m going to die, I want to die at your hand.”
“No, oh no. No, Arren!” I protested. I tried to remove my hand, but Arren’s grip was unyielding.
“Nora, I’m starting to hurt. A lot. I’m going to lose my will soon and probably pass out anyway. I want to leave this world with my dignity. I want to die a warrior. You can do this for me. I know it may hurt you right now, but I want you to remember what I’m about to say, here. Listen to me. Listen close. This is my dying wish for my best friend. I know it’s selfish, but I want you to be the person that sets me free. I want to know you will be safe without me holding you back anymore.”
“You’ve never held me back,” I mumbled, trying not to sob.
Her words were growing slower. “Yes I did, Nora. Maybe not at first, when you were a little girl. But you have a destiny. Something great awaits you. I’m just a gang girl with no real talent. When we were little, you were in another world, a better world. I’m glad you spent all this time with me, but it’s time for you to leave.”
“Don’t say that!” I snarled. “You gave us all strength and helped some girls keep the heart to go on. You touched every life around you. People respect me, sure, but they loved you.”
Arren paused, then squeezed my hand. “Maybe you’re right, but this is my time. Please, Nora, trust me. I know this is right, and the pain is getting worse. I can’t really talk much more. Please...please honor my wish? I’d like you to use a Jackals club. I know there won’t be any pain if you do it, and it seems right.”
My life had turned into a nightmare. Every fiber of my being recoiled at Arren’s request, but I’d never been very good at denying anything she’d asked of me. She was usually right, too...and this time was no exception. As long as she lived, I’d stay by her side, and she knew it. Unfortunately, she was also right that she wasn’t going to last much longer. If I was going to fulfill her first request, to escape, I had to go.
I gritted my teeth, my heart flip-flopping in agony, but I gently set Arren’s head down on the bloody street before getting up. I shuffled over to a club lying on the ground. I didn’t know who it had belonged to—I think it was Arren’s, actually. That seemed fitting.
The club was heavy in my hand as I surveyed the carnage around me. My entire pack was down, most of them cooling bodies by now. The strange girl, probably from Earth, was long dead. The Dolos orb still sat in the middle of the street. Creator only knew how many people had seen it by now.
My friend’s body twitched, and I could tell she was trying to hide how much pain she was in. I still avoided looking at her wounds, instead staring at her large, booted feet. How many times had I teased her about the size of her feet? I smiled sadly at the thought, my tears streaming over my face and falling to the street in a steady, dripping rhythm.
Arren suddenly spoke, her words cutting through my hazy despair. “Thank you for this, Nora. Thank you for always being strong, and never losing that strength. I’m sorry I cannot go on with you, to be part of your journey anymore. But please know I will always be with you in spirit.
“Don’t be too hard on yourself. This was not your fault. There will be other people who need you like I have. Don’t forget your promise! Live your dreams. I will never forget you, Nora Hazard. I am happy you were my friend, even from the beginning when I watched your life from an alley. You will always be my sister, and I will wait for you on the other side.”
I sobbed and knelt, holding Arren’s hand.
“Goodbye, Nora. Safe travels. I will love you forever.” With that, Arren fell silent and smiled. I could see her body twitch as she was racked with pain, but I knew my best friend very well. I could tell she was honestly at peace.
I wanted her to keep that feeling of contentment, and I couldn’t let my own feelings get in the way. I knew this was truly what she wanted. Being weak was a luxury men could afford, not women. I stood and hefted the club in my hand, gritting my teeth. Then I took one explosive step forward, swinging downward.
The club broke.
The next few moments were a blur as I moved automatically, honoring the promise I’d made Arren. I gathered up the remaining three undamaged clubs, all the shivs, except for the one in Yvadne’s chest, and then I pocketed the Dolos orb.
I shook my head and nudged the pretty Terran girl’s body. What a waste. All of it was such a waste.
My bottom lip wouldn’t stop trembling as I walked away, forcing myself to move through the numbness of my grief. I had to leave Bittertown. Half the city would be after me now, probably. I needed to control my emotions, at least for the time being.
I silently cried, my heart breaking, walking down the street with multiple weapons stuck through my belt. I didn’t see another soul on Tanner street. I knew they were there, but nobody bothered me. A murderous fury was growing in my chest. I was probably radiating danger like a pack of monsters on the hunt.
&nbs
p; It wasn’t fair. None of it was fair.
As I took a turn into an alleyway, deciding to start hiding from prying eyes as I moved, I knew that this day would be one of the worst moments in my life - even if I lived another hundred years.
I was alone now. My entire life had changed—I had changed. I knew I wouldn’t be settled inside for a long time, and as my thoughts darted a hundred different directions, I realized that Arren had truly understood me.
Without the favor she’d asked, I might have just...waited. Or I might have done something stupid. Arren had given me a direction, a purpose. I clung to that.
In that moment, I didn’t really care about my own life, but I’d promised my best friend to live on. To escape. Arren had known I always keep my promises, and this one damn sure wouldn’t be any exception.
Loyalty
My original plan had been to skulk out of the city in the middle of the night after lying low for a while. Unfortunately, most of my plans are usually terrible. This one wasn’t any different.
The problem was that I stood out. Not only was I still dressed like a Jackal, but I was also still covered in blood.
Luckily, the first group of people I actually noticed looking for me hadn’t spotted where I was lying down in an alley. I’d covered myself in some trash, which wasn’t exactly comfortable, but after Arren’s death, I’d needed time to settle my nerves. Every time I thought I’d pulled myself together again, I started thinking about how I was just…alone now.
When I saw the group of bounty hunters, I’d had no way to know for sure they were after me. But when I saw a group pass by the alley I was hiding in, it wasn’t normal. I was a nobody, hiding in a poor part of town populated by nobodies, and the bounty hunters I’d just seen were some of the nastiest that operated out of Bittertown. I knew them by reputation, and they didn’t work cheap. There was no way they’d just be walking around my area for fun, dressed for battle.
At first I was confused. I mean, I knew Lisa hated me and she’d probably move fast, but I didn’t know the Jackals had the means to hire expensive bounty hunters, even for a personal vendetta. Nobody in my pack had been especially connected…or anyone’s doted-on daughter.
Then it hit me like a punch to the gut. The orb. I’d already forgotten about the damned orb in my pocket. Chances were, the bounty hunters I’d seen were looking for me might not even be connected with the Jackals at all.
Joy. The Jackals and the eventual problems with them had meant I needed to get out of town. Now the bounty hunters being involved meant I wouldn’t be safe even after leaving Bittertown. I had to leave immediately—lying low for a while first was not an option.
Night still hadn’t fallen yet, but I got up. Now I was covered in trash as well as blood. I shook my head as I brushed myself off and started moving again. I knew what I needed to do, too. I thought I might know of something that would throw them off.
I’d been hiding near the docks, well, the bad part of the docks. As I picked my way carefully through the city, trying to avoid prying eyes, I glanced around in farewell. I probably wouldn’t be seeing Bittertown for a while. The city was foul, but it had been my home for a long time.
The rough houses and shops made of stone were squat and ugly. Very different from the beautiful architecture I’d heard about in Mensk. Bittertown was built for function, not aesthetics. The buildings weren’t nice to look at, but coupled with the winding streets, they endured even the worst weather from the Berber Sea.
I moved quickly once I’d made up my mind and had already covered half of the distance to my destination. My clothing was dirty, smelly, and disgusting. I’d stopped crying a while back, but that nonsense could start again at any time—a fact I was being realistic about. The wound in my heart was still raw, very raw. Right now, distraction was my friend.
Part of how I was centering myself was by thinking—something I should have been doing earlier. My life had changed—still was changing. I needed to honor Arren’s wishes and think of my future, which meant figuring out what in the rot I was going to do with a Dolos orb.
The first thing that sprang to mind made me feel stupid. Taking the orb, becoming orb-Bonded had never really been a dream of mine like so many other Jackals, but it would help with my dream to attend the Mensk Academy. I suppose I’d thought about it in the past—most Ludans do—but more of a means to an end than anything else.
That course of action was obviously still an option. The problem was that the paper that had come with the orb was destroyed, soaked in blood on Tanner street. I didn’t know a lot about orbs, but I knew they could kill you if you didn’t follow the directions that came with them or used them incorrectly. What had actually been on that piece of paper, I would never know.
It wasn’t like I could walk up to random people and ask, either—even if I weren’t currently covered in blood and looking like rotting death.
Yes, using the orb might be an option. I could also sell it. Where I’d sell it or whom I’d sell it to, I had no idea. I knew I could figure it out, though. If I sold the orb, I could probably start my life over, maybe live frugally for the rest of my life or even open a shop. I could use the money for gear and become a soldier or a mercenary, too.
There were other options I didn’t really even consider, like giving it away.
No, I’d made a promise to Arren. It wasn’t every day a Dolos orb practically fell in your lap after your friends all killed each other. I was going to see this through. Giving the orb away wouldn’t put me in any less danger, either.
Finally, I reached my destination. “She is going to be so boiling at me,” I muttered. I’d been hoping that Reesi wouldn’t be home, but I noticed laundry fluttering in her backyard as I scoped the place out from an alley across the street. Damn.
This was not going to be pleasant. The old woman had been kind to me and a few other Jackals in times of need. Of course, that made it even more important that I steeled myself to really steal from her. Reesi was a terrible actress. In order to spare her any trouble, I needed to make it convincing, and that meant real.
My conscience needled me as I picked the lock on the back door. Reesi ran a strange kind of establishment. She owned an art gallery right on the edge of the city between the poor and business quarters. Her shop also had an extra room that she used as a bed and breakfast. Most importantly, she’d bought the place when it’d still been a small inn, and currently used the stable for her zebra, Durben.
I wasn’t sure if Ressi knew I could ride. Not many knew anything about my past, and I didn’t advertise some of the more cultured skills I’d learned as a girl. I still remembered how to ride a zebra, but I wasn’t a master. For me to ride, I needed a mount I had a good relationship with. Zebras on Ludus were a lot different than the ones I’d read about on Earth, but they were still grumpy, foul-tempered beasts.
When I got the door open, Reesi herself was standing there, facing me in the open with a rolling pin in her hand. Her eyes widened for a fraction of a second when she saw me; then she just seemed resigned. “Nora, I should have known it would be you. I heard there are lots of people looking for you. But when I heard someone messing with my door, I thought it was one of those damn Horned Wolves gang girls again.”
I grimaced. “I’m a Jackal, not a preteen wannabe like one of those rotting Horned Retards. You probably know what I’m here for.”
“Yeah, you need to get out of town. You’re probably ready to mess me up when you take some supplies so they won’t think I was working with you. Guessing you will take Durben, too. You’d better pay me back, girl,”
“Of course,” I assured. “How did you know I came for Durben?”
The older woman rolled her eyes. She’d always had a quick tongue and a sharp temper. Rumor was she’d stayed single her whole life because she had a thing for married men. I doubted that. Both because I knew the woman, and because she was still breathing. Married women on Ludus sometimes dealt with adulteresses in a terminal fashion. Thei
r husbands would generally lose all their freedom, too. Nasty business.
I thought the truth was probably in the same neighborhood of the rumors. It was much more likely that Reesi had a particular married man she’d given her heart to, but couldn’t marry for some reason. It would explain why she’d chosen such a strange place to build her business, with one foot straddling the world of those with means, and those without.
Reesi huffed and said, “Every time you came to visit me you fawned over that striped old goat. Anyone with any sense stays away from zebras unless they’ve been trained to ride them or developed an unhealthy interest. You never struck me as soft in the head, so you must be trained.”
I chuckled and absently nodded. That was Reesi. Nothing slipped past her. The older woman was dressed in a mumu, her hair up in combs. The rolling pin in her hand had seen better days, but I could see echoes of the fierce woman she’d been in her prime.
“I’m serious, girl,” she said. “You had better pay me back for anything you take. I have a stocked larder, and there are clothes to tie up provisions. You know where it’s at. For some reason Durben tolerates you, so you should be alright. As for messing me up…no need.” With that, the cantankerous woman smashed herself in the face with her rolling pin.
I cried out and rushed to her side as she crumpled to the floor. Her face was already a mass of blood, and her breathing sounded wispy. She’d undoubtedly broken her nose. She groaned, “Go now. Hurry up, you stupid girl. No regrets; no guilt. Wash yourself first and put on new clothes—you look like hell.” She sighed. “I’m going to take a nap now.”
Reesi began snoring, probably faking, but I got to work. I felt a tear threatening to climb out of my eye, but I angrily shook my head. I didn’t have time to get all emotional, but I couldn’t deny the effect the day was having on me. My world was falling apart, my friends were dead, but I also felt truly blessed to have known such amazing people.
Mitigating Risk (Nora Hazard Book 1) Page 3