by Jake Bible
Sandra glared at me then her shoulders fell and she nodded.
“We find Tug first,” she said in that tone she gets when what she really means is that if I fight her on that, then I can kiss my nuts goodbye. “We tell him what we’re doing so he knows it’s for the greater good of EverRealm.”
“Why?” I asked.
“Because I have a heart and I care,” Sandra said.
Ouch. That stung.
So I sucked it up and nodded. “We find Tug and tell him. Come on.”
We didn’t have to go far. Only a few yards from our spot was the massive river troll, his battle axe in his hand, the blades dragging along the forest floor as he clomped towards us. He was covered in cuts and bruises, but seemed to be steady on his feet.
Sort of.
“Oh, God, Steve,” Sandra gasped when we realized at the same time what had happened. “Oh, no…”
Tug opened his mouth wide and groaned. A groan we knew all too well.
Then the undead river troll charged us.
Thirty-Four
It’s funny how life’s little coincidences get warped and messed up into a hellish nightmare that makes you want to piss your breeches as you run blindly through an unfamiliar forest while trying to escape an undead river troll hell bent on killing and eating you.
Or is that just me?
We’d decided that we needed to head back to our quest to find the Jewel of Rising and Jackal Mountain, but first we had to do the honorable thing and find Tug to tell him we were leaving. Instead, Tug, now an undead monster, found us and switched things up a little. Yes, we were headed back on our quest, but the motivation was fueled by the fact that we had not only undead Tug, but about two dozen other undead river trolls on our ass.
Silly life…
“This way!” Sandra screamed as she darted to the right, heading for the center of the forest valley and the river where Tug and his clan had first found us. “We’ll follow it up into the foothills!”
“You sure you want to be close to a river when we have trolls that thrive by rivers on our ass!” I shouted back.
“They’re undead!” she responded. “Being close to a river no longer matters!”
“You want to bet our lives on that?” I yelled.
She didn’t answer, only kept running. I followed on her heels while the undead river trolls followed on my heels. I didn’t dare risk a glance backwards. With my luck, I’d smack right into a tree. I had to focus on my footing and keeping up with Sandra.
Jesus, she could run fast. I was the Ranger and should have had the legs, but her speed was incredible. She probably ate some herb to help with it. That’s what I told myself.
Trees crashed behind us as the massive trolls barreled their way through the forest they had once loved. My ego echoed in my head and kept saying that I should have simply set fire to the trees myself and maybe none of us, trolls included, would be in the mess we were currently in, but that was my ego talking and, I had to admit, my ego didn’t always make the best decisions.
A gigantic tree fell right across our path and Sandra didn’t break stride; she clambered up over it and was lost from sight. I leapt at the trunk, grabbed onto the thick bark, and managed to get to the top before my feet came out from under me and I tumbled over to the other side, landing in a good amount of mud.
Instinct, and almost crippling fear, took over and I coated myself in mud then squeezed my body into the angled space between the fallen tree trunk and the ground, desperate to become one with the forest earth. The undead river trolls were up and over the tree and chasing after Sandra then gone before I could take two breaths.
I waited a couple minutes then eased out of my hiding spot, my ears on full alert for another wave of undead trolls. But all I heard were the dwindling sounds of the far off battle that the river trolls were obviously losing.
Okay, okay, now I needed to find Sandra. She’d gone towards the river, but so had the horde of undead trolls. If I went that way, then I’d just run into the backs of the beasts. That was not an option I wished to explore.
So, I did my best to orient myself, and took off jogging in the direction I hoped the river led from and the foothills stood. Sandra was going that way too. We both had the same destination and, with some good luck, we would meet up again soon.
I continued to jog, and jog, and jog, and jog. My lungs began to burn and my legs started to cramp. So much for Ranger endurance. A stitch in my side almost took me down, but I summoned my inner sixth grader, the version of me that detested PE, but absolutely refused to let Coach Goggins beat me, and I pushed through all of the pain, burning lungs, cramping legs, stitch in the side and all.
Maybe a half an hour went by before I caught sight of the river off to my right. No sign of movement other than the flowing water, but that didn’t mean Sandra wasn’t close by. Or the undead trolls, for that matter. Didn’t want to forget about those assholes.
Forgetting about them wasn’t a problem as my path drew me closer to the water. In seconds, I could hear their groans and their huge feet clomping across the rocks that lined the river. I skidded to a halt and set a giant of a tree between me and the undead trolls.
I knew I couldn’t stay too long, the sounds of the undead army which had finally defeated the rest of the river troll clan, was ever present behind me. They had resumed chopping down the forest in their unceasing march towards Jackal Mountain. I had only a few minutes head start, and that was dwindling fast.
Time to suck it up.
I sprinted from out of the cover of the giant tree and moved quickly to a stand of berry bushes in full bloom that ringed a small shallow part of the river. Through the bushes, I could make out the undead troll party chasing a tiny figure that was climbing her way up the rocks that lined the river as it wound down from the foothills.
Sandra was still alive and my heart soared. Then my belly fell out as she slipped and tumbled a few feet before slowly getting back up to continue her panicked ascent. And I could tell she was panicked. That grace of hers was gone. She was moving more like real world Sandra and less like EverRealm Priestess Sandra.
She was growing more and more tired with each boulder she climbed over and each descending rapid she forded to get to the opposite side of the water in order to put some distance between her and her undead pursuers. I really only had one choice.
“Hey!” I yelled as I came out from behind the berry bushes, my long sword held high. “Hey! Assholes! You want some of this!”
They didn’t even pause, the undead horde’s focus entirely on Sandra. Shit.
“HEY!” I shouted as loud as I possibly could. “HEY!”
Then I brought my long sword down onto a medium-sized boulder next to me and the rock shattered. Turned to rubble and large gravel right before my eyes. I was stunned. I’d never seen it do that before.
A couple of the undead trolls slowed then turned their massive heads to look back my way. I had them.
I began breaking every boulder I could get to, just smashing the shit out of them as I swung my long sword this way and that, not even really aiming. More and more of the undead trolls began to take notice of me until the entire horde, except for one which had to be Tug, had stopped chasing Sandra and were turning to come back at me.
Awesome! I did it!
Oh, shit. I did it.
The horde groaned and raced along the river at me and my dinky little long sword. Yes, long sword of Breaking (Level 16), but so what? I was facing about twenty undead river trolls. Me and my sword weren’t going to be much against those assholes.
“Oh, Gods of EverRealm, if you exist at all, and I don’t know that you do since I didn’t do the reading I probably should have, please hear my prayer,” I said as I gripped my long sword with both hands and prepared to die. “Any chance you could give a guy a break?”
The air shimmered before me and a figure appeared.
“There you are,” the Dark Enforcer said, the Dark Blade in his hand. “Yo
u dropped this.”
He held the blade out to me. All I could do was gape at him like a jackass, my own sword still clutched in both hands.
“What’s the catch?” I finally asked.
“Catch?” he replied. “No catch, Steve. You prayed to the Gods of EverRealm and they heard you. I don’t usually make deliveries like this, but…”
He shrugged.
“Do you want the sword or not?” he asked, his voice more inside my head than coming through my ears.
“Yeah, sure, that would be great,” I said and sheathed my long sword of Breaking. I held out my hand and cocked my head. “You sure there’s no trick or catch or some curse that’s gonna happen the second I touch it?”
“Nope,” the Dark Enforcer said. “Technically, this is yours, being that you and it are anchored together here in EverRealm. I was going to hang onto it, since you obviously couldn’t take care of it, but the game is the game, so…”
Another shrug.
“Who are you?” I asked.
“The Dark Enforcer,” the Dark Enforcer said.
“Nah, I’m not buying it,” I said. “You sounded different than the last time we met.”
“Listen, Steve, there is a lot you don’t know about this place,” he said as he stretched his arms wide. “And I’m not just talking about EverRealm. If you are going to find the answers that you seek, then you have gotta start trusting that shit happens and sometimes you catch breaks, okay? Stop fighting every goddamn gift that’s given to you. Start fighting for them.”
He looked over his shoulder at the oncoming horde, but I could tell his focus was beyond the undead trolls. He was looking at Sandra and how she was still struggling to flee the pursuing Tug. Then he looked back at me and nodded.
“You get what I’m saying here?” he asked, offering the Dark Blade again.
“You’re not exactly being subtle,” I said and took the blade.
“Neither is life,” the Dark Enforcer said then was gone in a huge explosion of river sand and black smoke.
The smoke dissipated in the strong breeze that dawn was bringing and I saw the undead that were gonna try to rip me limb from limb only a few yards away.
Planting my feet in the sand, I braced my legs, gripped the Dark Blade with both hands, and prepared for a glorious and honorable, although not exactly welcome, death.
Then the blade set itself on fire, a fire that burned ten times stronger than I’d ever seen it do, and the undead trolls slid to a stop, their gray eyes wide with fear.
Well, I’ll be.
I took a step towards them and they took a step back.
“Ha!” I yelled. “You want a piece of this?”
I swung the blade at them, even though I was a good ten feet away, and they nearly trampled each other to get away from me. I told you, the undead hate fire.
Which was what erupted over my head in a long, targeted stream. It caught the retreating undead river trolls in their backs, setting them all aflame right there as I watched, totally stunned. I looked at the Dark Blade, looked at the burning undead river trolls, looked at the Dark Blade, and something clicked.
I didn’t do that.
Slowly, not really sure I wanted to, I turned completely around to see if maybe, just maybe, there was something behind me. There was.
“Sup, bro,” Holo said, sitting astride one badass-looking dragon. “You need a ride?”
He pointed his chin at the foothills just as Sandra let out a bloodcurdling scream.
“Methinks the lady could use some help,” he said.
“Totally,” the dragon said as he nodded his head up and down. “Hop on, bro.”
Oh, Jesus, the dragon spoke Holo.
Thirty-Five
Before I could even respond, the dragon snatched me up in a claw, tossed me onto his back with Holo, and was pumping his massive wings. We were airborne and flying towards the spot where I could see Sandra barely able to fend off the attacking undead Tug.
“I’d totally barbecue the brute, but then I’d hibachi your lady too,” the dragon said.
“Yeah, thanks for not hibachi-ing Sandra,” I said. “Uh…?”
“Oh, my bad,” Holo said. “Steve, this is Nardo. Nardo, this is the Steve I’ve been talking about.”
“Uh, good to meet you, Nardo,” I said.
“It’s short for Bernardo,” Nardo said. “My parents were big West Side Story fans.”
“I don’t know what to do with that bit of info,” I replied.
“Yeah, you see, Steve, dragons transcend the game environs they are created in,” Holo said. “Seriously, we’re talking some major mojo that is at work here. Bubby has totally blown my canine mind, bro.”
“She’ll do that,” Nardo said as he took us up high into the air then dove down straight at the undead Tug just as the river troll was about to put his battle axe through Sandra’s skull.
I screamed.
Holo screamed.
Nardo screamed.
Undead Tug was groaning, but he stopped and turned to look over his shoulder. He saw Nardo and screamed.
Sandra was the only one not screaming. She was busy getting her ass up and moving out of the way.
“Smart lady!” Nardo yelled just before belching a stream of flame at Tug.
The undead river troll went up like a dried-out Christmas tree on a New Year’s Eve bonfire. Poof, he was crispy as all hell.
Nardo pulled up, grabbing the burning troll in one claw then banked and headed for what remained of the forest. We reached the tree line and Nardo tossed Tug’s toasted remains into the trees then let loose with stream after stream after stream of fire, setting the rest of the forest ablaze.
“Why didn’t you burn the trees instead of trying to fight the undead army?” Holo asked as Nardo banked again and began to take us up towards the river troll village. “That would have been the smart thing to do.”
“Totally,” Nardo said. “Fire fixes everything.”
“That’s what I said!” I exclaimed. “But the trolls weren’t having it and Sandra didn’t want to piss off the trolls.”
“Yeah, you don’t want to piss off the trolls,” Holo said. “That would have been bad for you two.”
“Oh, totally with ya there, bro,” Nardo said, banking a third time so that we swept over the river troll village and came racing down the foothills towards the fleeing Sandra.
I don’t think she even knew Tug was toast.
Nardo landed a few yards above her and she cried out as puffs of smoke escaped his nostrils.
“Hey there, pretty lady,” Nardo said in a smooth voice. “You’re looking fine in that sweaty dress there. Care to hop aboard so we can blow this popsicle stand and get y’all back on track?”
Her eyes were wide, but her mouth hung wider.
“Hey, Sandra!” Holo said and jumped down from Nardo’s back. “Who’s got no thumbs and totally made best friends with a dragon? This guy!”
She managed to blink, so that was good.
“Get on,” I called to her. “Nardo is taking us to find the others. That’s what you’re gonna do, right Nardo?”
“Totally, bro,” Nardo said. “Here, let me help. Sandra, is it?” He held out a huge claw, palm up and wiggled a finger, beckoning her to come closer. “It’s cool, yo. I totally don’t bite.”
“Come on,” Holo said and hurried to give Sandra a nudge in the butt. “Time’s a tickin’, sugar!”
“Sugar?” Sandra snapped. “Don’t call me sugar!”
“Yikes,” Holo said and backed off. “No offense meant.”
She stomped over to Nardo’s claw and climbed on. He swiftly plopped her next to me and I almost cried with happiness. Sandra was completely stunned by what was happening, so I kissed her. When I pulled away, she was still stunned, but smiling.
“Hey there,” I said. “Are you hurt?”
“No more than you,” she said and dug into one of her pouches. “Eat this.”
“Only if you do,” I
said.
We both ate the little yellow flowers she’d produced. Some of the fatigue that had started to creep into my consciousness disappeared.
“Hey, you got anything a little more potent in those pouches?” Nardo asked as he looked back over his shoulder at us. “You catch what I’m throwing?” He winked.
“Bro! Let me up!” Holo called before either Sandra or I could quite grasp what the dragon meant.
Holo was deposited next to us and up went the dragon, soaring into the sky with only a couple of wing beats. The guy was big. Like city bus big. If we did find the others, then there wouldn’t be a problem with all of us fitting on Nardo’s back
A collective groan rose up from the valley, and I shielded my eyes from the suns to see what hellish progress the undead army had made. They’d made exactly zip. The forest was nothing but fire. There wasn’t a single tree that wasn’t ablaze. Somewhere inside that valley inferno was an undead army quickly turning to coals. Nice.
“You think Jeremy is in that?” I asked.
“The undead Othersider that refuses to die, bro?” Nardo responded. “You seriously asking that question, yo?”
“I was just wondering,” I said.
“Yeah, no, he’s not down there,” Nardo said. “That guy has some really dark juju in him and he probably went blip and gone.”
“Blip and gone?” Sandra asked.
“Oh, yeah, blip and gone,” Holo said. “It’s how things work now. Bros, do I have some tales to tell. You have no idea what kind of a shitstorm we created when making the Domains. Bubby’s got the 411, so I’ll let her explain. But, believe me, it ain’t pretty.”
“Messing with things you shouldn’t be messing with,” Nardo said.
“True dat, bro,” Holo replied.
Sandra and I could only look at each other in shared confusion. EverRealm was getting weirder by the second.
Nardo climbed and banked to our right, taking us away from the burning valley and up over the foothills. He aimed us almost directly for the mountain range and the occluded peak of Jackal Mountain. We flew for close to an hour, Holo asking us all kinds of questions about what we’d been up to on our quest, while at the same time slyly avoiding answering any of our questions about his time with Bubby.