by Kit Pearson
“You’ll just have to be brave, Doodle,” he told her, “and you may like it more than you think. I’m pleased that you’re getting such a good education. I wish I’d had that opportunity.” He sighed. “If I had, I would have been in a better position when the crash came. I’m so sorry you had to go through such hard times, Doodle, especially after your grannie died. I felt so bad that I couldn’t feed or clothe you properly and that Maud was going to have to quit school. At least you were spared all that.”
“But it was fine!” said Polly. “I never felt hungry and I didn’t care about what I wore! We were happy!”
“Yes, we were happy,” said Daddy. “But I’m still glad you ended up here.”
If only he would stop saying that!
Polly’s biggest worry was that Biddy and Vivien would want her to play with them as usual after school, and that they would go to the cabin. On Monday she said she didn’t feel well, and on Tuesday she told them she had to help Aunt Jean polish the church silver. To her relief, on both days they decided to pick blackberries.
On Wednesday, however, Vivien said, “We haven’t been to Oz all week! Let’s take Biddy’s new movie magazine there. ”
What could Polly say? All she could try was a version of the truth. “We can’t go to the cabin right now,” she told them. “And I can’t do things with you after school, and I can’t say why. If I promise to tell you later, will you promise me not to go there?”
Biddy, as usual, was compliant. “Okay.” She shrugged. “It sounds very mysterious, but whatever you want, Polly.”
Vivien, of course, was much more difficult. “But why can’t we go?” she asked.
“Please, Viv, it’s a secret!” begged Polly.
Finally Vivien agreed, but she was so sulky about it that Polly worried she’d go anyway. And what was Polly going to tell them later? She would just have to deal with that, as with everything else, when the time came.
As Daddy became more rested, he lost some of his anxiety. He tried to tame a raven by imitating its croak and holding out a bit of bread. “I’d forgotten how beautiful and peaceful this island is,” he said.
He told Polly about his own cabin, which was in an orchard. It didn’t have running water, but it was near a stream. The cabin was heated by a fireplace.
“It’s very snug—in fact, it gets too hot. We don’t spend much time there. During the day we’re outside working, and we go into town almost every evening.”
Daddy shared the cabin with two men called Jim and Perry. “They’re both single fellows, younger than me,” said Daddy. “We get along well—they call me the Geezer!”
“Do you ever tell them about Maud and me?” asked Polly.
“No, Doodle,” said Daddy gently. “Remember, I’m supposed to be dead. My old self doesn’t exist, so you don’t either.”
Polly gasped and Daddy looked guilty. “Sorry, Doodle, that came out wrong. You girls certainly exist to me. Even though I didn’t talk about you, I thought about you every minute!”
“Look, there’s the raven,” said Polly, glad of a diversion. She couldn’t bear to discuss Daddy’s life away from her for too long. What was going to happen after he left? When would she see him again? Should she try to persuade him to take her with him?
Most worrying of all … did she want to go?
On Thursday afternoon Daddy went into the cabin to get the chessboard. There was a rustle in the bushes, then a giggle. Vivien and Biddy! Polly jumped up and saw them dash away.
Daddy came out, but luckily he hadn’t noticed. They had promised! thought Polly angrily. And they must have seen Daddy. What was she going to tell them?
The next day before school Polly confronted her friends. Biddy looked guilty and Vivien defiant.
“I’m so sorry, Polly!” cried Biddy. “I didn’t want to spy on you, but Vivien made me!”
“I’m sorry too,” muttered Vivien, but she didn’t sound it.
“You promised not to!” said Polly tightly.
“I know. But we thought maybe you were in some kind of trouble and we should find out so we could help you,” said Vivien.
Biddy looked worried. “Are you in trouble, Polly? Who was that man? He looked like a tramp!”
“He could be dangerous!” said Vivien.
“He’s not a tramp, and he’s not dangerous at all! I’ll tell you all about it next week.” Suddenly that seemed like an enormous relief. “Will you promise to leave me alone until then? And promise to keep it a secret?”
Reluctantly they crossed their hearts and hoped to die. Polly’s only choice was to trust them.
At least Maud was coming tonight and Polly would no longer be the only one responsible for taking care of Daddy. Maud was the strong one. Maud would take care of everything.
Maud turned as pale as milk. “Daddy’s here? Polly, are you sure?”
“Of course I’m sure! He’s hiding in our cabin and he can hardly wait to see you!”
Polly hadn’t wanted to tell her right away. Her plan had been to lead Maud to the cabin and surprise her with Daddy, like a present. But Daddy said that would be too much of a shock. “You’ll have to prepare her,” he’d told her.
“You surprised me,“ Polly pointed out.
“Well, I had no choice. I tried to warn you by singing our song, but there was nothing else I could do.”
Now Maud was pacing up and down Polly’s room. With her short mop of hair and generous figure, she looked so much like a grown woman that Polly wondered if Daddy would recognize her.
“I just can’t believe it!” she kept saying. “When did Daddy come? How long is he staying?”
It was so rare that Polly knew more than her sister that she couldn’t help gloating a little. She took Maud by the hand. “No more questions. Let’s just go and see him!”
The rest of the family were in the living room, having their usual game of cards after dinner. Polly and Maud slipped out the back door. “We’re taking Tarka for a walk,” called Polly. Tarka’s frequent need of walks had certainly been handy this week.
She kept hold of Maud’s hand all the way and was surprised to find that it was shaking. By the time they reached the cabin, Polly’s strong and intrepid older sister was trembling all over.
“Is it the Boss?” called Daddy as they entered the cabin.
Maud froze. She and Daddy stared at each other.
“My Maudie is all grown up,” said Daddy gently.
Then Maud started to cry, huge wracking sobs that almost choked her. Daddy came over and held her tight. “It’s all right, dear old girl. This has been so hard for you, but I’m here now.”
Daddy led Maud to the mattress and sat her down. Polly sat down on the other side of Daddy, leaning against his side. Maud pulled out her hankie and dried her tears as her sobs subsided. She kept saying, “I can’t believe it! It’s really you!”
“It really is,” said Daddy, “even though I’m rather dishevelled at the moment. And it’s really you, Boss, although you’ve changed even more than Polly has. Your beautiful braids have gone! But I like your bob. And what a handsome girl you are. I’m so proud to be your father.”
Daddy handed Maud a necklace like Polly’s. “It’s a very late birthday present,” he told her. Maud examined it silently. Then they sat around the table. Polly had brought some leftover cake from dinner and a bottle of Aunt Jean’s huckleberry wine. Daddy opened it and poured them each some.
“A toast to us being together again!” he said. His eyes sparkled and his voice was as vibrant as it used to be.
Polly tried to pretend everything was just like before, as if the three of them were sitting together in their little house in Winnipeg. “To us!” she cried. Maud clinked her glass with theirs but seemed unable to speak.
“Now you can ask Daddy all about the last two years,” Polly prompted. But Maud was still silent.
“Leave her be, Doodle,” said Daddy. “She’s still in shock. Maud, let me explain why I’m here.”
This roused Maud to words. “It was in the paper,” she muttered. “All about the robbery.” Why did Maud sound so suspicious?
Daddy had noticed too. “What do you think about that, Maudie?” he asked quietly.
Maud averted her head. “I’d rather not discuss it.”
Daddy looked relieved. “That’s the best idea, I think. Tell me all about your school. I hear you’re head girl!”
Maud recited her duties, but her voice was cold and detached. “How long are you staying?” she asked suddenly.
“I really should go tomorrow,” said Daddy. “It’s not fair to ask you to hide me out here any longer—what if you get caught?”
“Tomorrow!” cried Polly. “Oh, Daddy, please stay at least until Monday, after Maud goes back to school!”
Maud was silent—why wasn’t she supporting Polly? Daddy looked from one to the other.
“I’ll stay until Sunday afternoon,” he said finally. “Now, let’s not think about that yet, Doodle,” he added as Polly started to protest. “Let’s just enjoy this precious time together. You’d better get back to the house now, before the others wonder where you are.”
“We’ll come early in the morning with your breakfast!” called Polly, after they had kissed him good-night.
Polly couldn’t stop talking. She sat on Maud’s bed in the box room and released the burden of this tense week in rapid sentences—all about how difficult it had been to sneak out and lie and plan.
“And Biddy and Vivien saw him!” Polly moaned. “What if they tell someone, Maud? I trust Biddy, but I’m not sure about Vivien.”
“Is there anything bad you know that you could threaten her with?” asked Maud. Her voice was detached, as if she didn’t really care.
“Well, a while ago she broke her mother’s best teacup. Biddy and I were there. She buried it in her yard. Her mother hasn’t noticed yet that it’s gone.”
“Talk to her on Monday—say you’ll tell her mother if she tells anyone about Daddy,” said Maud, in the same dull voice.
“Okay,” said Polly reluctantly. She never liked confronting Vivien, but this was so important she would have to.
Maud was pulling her nightgown over her head. Polly took a deep breath. “Why were you so rude to Daddy, Maud? You hardly talked to him!”
“He shouldn’t have come,” mumbled Maud.
“What?”
“You heard me, Poll. Daddy shouldn’t have come! He’s spoiled everything. You and I were both contented. We’d put him out of our lives, and that was a good thing. Now everything that happened that summer has come up again. And he’s made you lie and steal for him.”
“That was my choice,” said Polly. She stood up, her heart pounding. “I can’t believe you’re saying these things, Maud. He’s our father! He loves us! He came all this way just to visit us! And you seemed glad when you first saw him.”
Maud’s voice quivered. “I couldn’t help it. You’re right, Poll, he is our father, and he loves us and I—well, I love him too, of course. But we have to get him out of here as soon as possible. Then everything will be safe again, the way it was before.” She sighed. “I’m sorry to be this way, Doodle. I’ll try to be nicer to Daddy tomorrow. It’s really hard, though.”
“Hard to be nice to Daddy?”
Maud got into bed and faced the wall. “I don’t want to talk about it, Poll. Seeing Daddy is such a shock, I need to be alone to absorb it. Wake me up when you’re ready to take him his breakfast.”
Polly ran to her room. She lay awake, while Tarka twitched and yelped in his sleep. He was probably dreaming of chasing squirrels. Polly wished her own life were as easy.
“Why are you two being so secretive?” Aunt Jean asked. She had bustled into the kitchen after lunch, just as Maud and Polly were about to leave. “You keep going off on your own and I’ve scarcely had a chance to catch up with Maud!”
“Leave them be, Jean,” said Noni. “Polly wanted to have Maud to herself this weekend. They have things to discuss.”
“What things?”
“That’s their own business, Jean.”
“But where are you girls going? You’ve already been out all morning!”
“Jean, will you stop being such a Nosy Parker! You know Polly has a cabin in the woods. That’s probably where you’re spending your time, isn’t it?”
Polly nodded. “Noni, can we take some cookies and tea there?”
“Take whatever you like. Dinner’s not until six, so you can stay until then.”
“But Clara, I wanted to show Maud the new altar cloth I embroidered!”
“She can see it this evening. Run along, hens, we’ll see you later.”
Polly couldn’t believe Noni was making it so easy. She shovelled food into her rucksack, grateful that for once she didn’t have to steal it.
They had already spent all morning with Daddy, playing so much chess that Polly’s brain was woolly. Maud had asked Daddy a few stiff questions about his life in Kelowna, but soon she’d stopped talking. Every time Daddy asked her something she responded so coldly that he gave up.
Polly couldn’t bear the hurt look in his eyes. She tried to keep up a nervous chatter, but most of the time the three of them sat silently around the chessboard. The happy reunion they had enjoyed yesterday had dwindled into awkwardness.
“We’ve brought you tea and oatmeal cookies!” Polly called now. Daddy was outside as usual.
He looked up from his book. “You spoil me.” His smile was so sad. “Shall we have another game?” he said quickly.
Too quickly, thought Polly. As long as they were playing chess they didn’t have to talk to one another.
“No chess,” said Maud bluntly. “Daddy, I have something I want to say to you.”
“Uh-oh,” said Daddy. “I’m in trouble with the Boss!”
Maud refused to smile. “Daddy, are you sure you didn’t steal that money? I’ve read all the papers and it certainly looks as if you did.”
“Maud!” cried Polly.
“Hush, Doodle, let her be. Maud, sweetheart, I hate it that you think I’m a thief.”
“But if you were innocent, why did you run away as if you were guilty?”
“I’ve told you, Maud. The money was found in my possession. If I’d stayed, I would have been convicted and gone to jail for years. You would have had to live with that disgrace.”
“We already do!” said Maud. “We do in the family, anyway. Everyone thinks you did it and they’re all ashamed.”
“I’m sorry about that, but your mother’s family never did like me. I hope you’re not ashamed, Maud.”
“Of course she isn’t!”
Maud frowned at Polly. “Let me finish!” Her voice became more and more Maudish. “I’m sorry, Daddy, but I am ashamed. I think you did take the money. I understand why—you wanted to support us and you were tired of never getting good jobs. And you were upset about me leaving school. I understand, but it was still wrong. It’s a sin to steal. It’s against God’s commandment. You should have stayed and taken the consequences.”
Now Maud was standing, her cheeks flaming. Daddy tried to touch her, but she shrugged him off.
“I’m really sorry, Daddy, but I don’t believe you. I’m glad we don’t live with you and I wish you’d never come!” Choking on a sob, Maud ran away.
Polly gasped. She crept onto Daddy’s lap. “I can’t believe Maud said that! What’s wrong with her?”
Daddy took out his handkerchief and wiped his eyes. “You know our Maud,” he said, his voice strained. “She’s always seen things in black and white. It’s easier for her to believe I was wrong and to dismiss me. Then she can stay in her secure world and not have to think about me.”
“I hate Maud!” said Polly. “She’s so different from the way she used t
o be! How can she not believe you?”
“Don’t hate her, Doodle,” said Daddy. “I don’t blame her, really. Perhaps I would have stolen the money, if I’d been really desperate. You never know the depths you might go to to save your family.”
“But you didn’t,” said Polly firmly.
Daddy wiped his hand over his face. “I’m glad you believe that, Doodle.”
They sat in the sun for a while, then Daddy said gently, “I think you should go back to your grandmother now, Polly. Give me a kiss.”
Polly stumbled to her feet. “I’m going to tell Maud to apologize! And I’ll bring you some dinner. We’re having venison and apple pie.”
“I’ve really appreciated how well you’ve been feeding me, Doodle,” said Daddy. He hugged her so tightly her chest felt crushed. Polly hugged him back, called Tarka, and walked away, forcing her voice to sound cheerful as she called over her shoulder, “See you later!”
Polly marched straight to Maud’s room and opened her door, but Maud snarled, “Go away!” Polly slammed the door as hard as she could and stomped downstairs. At dinnertime she fumed as Maud and Gregor discussed a book they’d both read. How could Maud talk so coolly, as if nothing had happened?
“You’re not eating a thing, hen,” said Noni. “Are you feeling all right?”
“Our Polly won’t eat a dear deer,” laughed Gregor, “but she’ll eat dear little lambs and dear little chickens!”
“Leave her alone, Gregor!” said Noni sharply.
“Sorry, Pollywog,” said Gregor. “How about you and me going fishing after dinner? Want to come, Maud?”
Maud nodded, but Polly refused. She had to take Daddy the leftovers from dinner.
As usual, she waited until the grown-ups were safely in the living room with their cards. She’d forgotten her rucksack at the cabin, so she packed the food into a paper bag. She was so exhausted that her arms could hardly lift it. How much longer was she going to have to do this? she wondered wearily.
“I’m back!” she called as she arrived at the cabin. Tarka ran ahead, barking a welcome. But the cabin was empty. Daddy’s few possessions were gone. On the table was a piece of Polly’s drawing paper with writing on it.