by Fiona Miers
“How are you and how’s Sarah?”
“We’re both very well, Charlotte. Sarah has missed you. You must come by to visit her again.”
Charlotte flushed at the slight criticism infused in Oliver’s words.
It was true that she hadn’t been back to see Sarah since that first visit after her miscarriage. It had been over six weeks now. Charlotte wasn’t sure if she trusted herself not to confide everything in her friend the second she saw Sarah.
Charlotte still felt so raw about Archie’s passionate display and then his obvious regret afterwards. It had been five weeks since that night and she still couldn’t get a handle on her very vulnerable feelings. She missed Archie so much and the need to talk about him was a constant physical ache.
“I will, tomorrow. I’m sorry, I didn’t like seeing her so unwell.” Charlotte admitted, knowing that this was indeed part of the truth, if not the whole truth.
Oliver smiled kindly.
“I know it was difficult seeing her in pain, but she is much better now and is mending beautifully.”
They all sat down in chairs around the desk and Charlotte allowed a smile to cross her face. She knew that teasing Oliver was the easiest way to lighten the mood. However, there seemed to be a tense atmosphere in the study which she didn’t quite understand.
“It wasn’t just that, Oliver. I had to visit her in the ducal bed chamber and I found it most disconcerting.” Charlotte raised her eyebrows briefly in question.
Oliver’s eyes widened and a deep blush appeared, extending up his neck and onto his handsome face.
“Well, Sarah doesn’t believe in separate bedchambers, you see. Her parents only had one bedroom and she believes it’s important for a good marriage to always be together.”
He kept his face impassive but Charlotte could imagine how much effort that took.
“What do you mean, Oliver?” John asked his friend, clearly confused.
“You don’t mean, every night, do you?” John’s face showed a mixture of horror and jealousy at the same time and Charlotte felt the same. What about monthly times? Sarah couldn’t possibly want to share a bed with her husband then?
Oliver shrugged.
“I don’t sleep well without her.”
Charlotte stared straight at her brother, her shock mirrored in his brown eyes. They shared their surprise, then looked away. As far as revealing words went, that sentence floored them both. Their own parents had barely shared a bed to procreate. The idea of a duke and duchess sleeping together every night in the same bed was so foreign to them as to be laughable.
“What brings you here to see us today?” Charlotte asked Oliver, trying to fill the silence with words.
“Well, I was telling John how concerned I am about Archie. He won’t receive me in his home and he hasn’t responded to any of my missives. I know he’s in mourning, but he’s surely allowed to meet a friend.”
A strange, fluttery panic invaded her stomach at the sound of Archie’s name. She was sure that everyone could read on her face what had happened between them and it made her feel embarrassed and uncomfortable. It was obviously not true, but she had to fight the embarrassing feelings all the same.
“Of course, he’s allowed to accept visitors, he must know that,” Charlotte said. Archie was well known to be the most perfect of gentleman. He always followed the rules down to the letter. Except, perhaps, with her.
John and Oliver shared another one of those glances and Charlotte felt her blood starting to boil. What weren’t they saying? If it had something to do with her Archie, then she wanted to know.
Oh, goodness. When had he become her Archie?
“Why are you two looking at each other like that? What is going on?”
Looking at their faces again she realized they were keeping something horrible from her.
“Oh my goodness, is Archie sick? Is he dying, too?” She whispered the last words, horror closing down her windpipe, she covered her mouth with her hand.
“Oh no, no. Nothing like that.” Oliver reassured her, reaching out to pat her other hand softly.
Charlotte’s heart began beating again. She may have occasionally wished him bodily harm for ignoring her three letters and flowers over the past month, but she never actually meant it.
“It’s just…” John began, then stopped, looking at Oliver for help.
“Oliver, she’ll find out soon enough. She may as well hear it from us.”
Oliver seemed to weigh these words up before deciding to act on them.
Charlotte felt each second as though it were an hour. Didn’t they realize that they were torturing her? That every moment they led her to believe something was wrong with Archie she bled a little more?
She clamped her hands together in her lap and squeezed her fingers tightly together, a numbness seeping into the muscles, then an ache.
“Charlotte, I’m afraid some new information has become common knowledge and it is rather damaging to Archie’s family name.” Oliver explained, telling her the problem and yet frustratingly, not explaining anything.
“What sort of information? About Archie?” Charlotte’s mind whirled. What could people be saying about Archie? He did everything right, everything. He didn’t even dabble in those socially acceptable vices that her brother did. Charlotte knew he liked women, so what could have happened?
“No, not about Archie. But now that his brother has died, he is his father’s heir and will be the next Marquess of Hunting.”
Charlotte hadn’t thought about that. Would that mean he would be happier to marry her now that he had a title only slightly less prestigious than her fathers? Would he take a mistress now? Charlotte clenched her teeth at that thought.
“So?” Charlotte gasped through the pain that her sudden jealousy had caused.
“So, there are rumors about his brother’s death that will cause problems for Archie.” Oliver’s jaw was clenched in obvious frustration, a muscle twitching in his cheek.
“What?” Charlotte gasped. “People don’t think Archie had anything to do with his death, do they?”
“Oh, for God’s sake Oliver, just tell her or she’ll be imagining all sorts of crazy things.” John almost shouted, obviously as impatient as Charlotte.
Charlotte clamped hard down on her bottom lip to stifle the flow of words.
“Archie’s brother is rumored to have died of syphilis, the French disease.” Oliver whispered the words as though it was a great secret.
Charlotte blinked. What did that mean? She’d never heard of it.
Seeing her confusion, Oliver explained further.
“Syphilis is a horrible disease that causes great sickness and the body slowly wastes away.”
“Yes…” Charlotte began slowly, trying to see the problem that would cause Archie’s family. It was obviously a horrible way to die, but why would that affect him?
“Well that’s horrible for his brother, but what has that got to do with Archie?” Charlotte glanced at her brother and his friend again.
Oliver and John exchanged another one of those looks and Charlotte clenched her hands into fists in her lap to keep from jumping to her feet and hitting one of them.
“You only get the French disease from bedding whores.” John told her quietly. “Dirty whores.”
Charlotte was her mother’s daughter and instantly saw the social ramifications that this would cause. Archie would be tainted by association. Even if he was clean and healthy, the whole of society would now assume the whole family to be diseased and unclean. Oh, her poor love.
“Archie won’t agree to see you?” Charlotte asked, sitting up straighter in her chair. She was calm now, a plan forming in her head. Archie needed her and if that meant she went to his home unchaperoned and had to push past the butler to get in, she would do it. She wasn’t the daughter of a Grande Dame for nothing,
Oliver eyed her warily. “No, he won’t see us. He’s probably worried that we’ll either spurn him or he’s trying
to protect us. Knowing Archie, it’s probably the latter.”
Oliver sighed and took a sip of the brandy in front of him.
“Is he still at his bachelor lodgings?” Charlotte asked.
John looked worried now, his eyebrows rising high on his forehead. “Yes, why?”
“I just wanted to send him some flowers and my condolences.” Charlotte told them both coolly, standing up to flick her skirts into perfect folds with practiced ease.
“I will see you soon, Oliver, Give my love to Sarah.” Charlotte nodded her head and swept out of the room.
She walked up the stairs calmly and called for her maid. Changing into her darkest day dress in a navy blue, she readied herself for her confrontation with Archie. If her brother was right, then Archie would not want her anywhere near him or his house. He would be afraid to taint her with the brush with which he was being painted. Well, she just didn’t care.
If people saw her enter his house alone, then she was ruined. Somehow, she couldn’t dredge up the necessary horror at this idea. She never meant to marry if she couldn’t have Archie, so what would it matter if she became ‘unmarriageable?’ Even so, for Archie’s sake, she would go at five o’clock in the evening. No-one would be around. Everyone would be at home preparing for dinner or an event in the evening.
Dismissing her maid, she made her way down the stairs.
“I need the carriage, Stevens.” Charlotte told their butler.
“Of course Lady Charlotte. May I call for Lizzie?” He snapped his fingers and a footman appeared next to him.
“No. I already have her doing something for me. I only require the small carriage Stevens. I need to get out of the house and feel like seeing the park. I will be back within the hour. I won’t be stopping anywhere.”
She marveled at how well she could lie when she had to.
The butler seemed slightly disturbed by this announcement but showed no other signs of disapproval.
Charlotte was within the confines of the small, unmarked carriage within ten minutes, her heart beating like a drum against her ribcage and her belly fluttering with nerves of every kind.
****
Archie was sitting in his library reading, when he heard a knock at the door.
“Lady Charlotte Dunford, my lord,” Archie’s butler announced, his usually solemn voice even lower today.
“No,” Archie almost shouted at Hill. She couldn’t be here, she shouldn’t. Even as he thought up the words to negate his butler’s decree, she glided into the room and stood facing him.
“Please ask Lady Charlotte to come back another time, would you Hill?” Archie asked his butler, ignoring the furious look Charlotte shot him from over the butler’s shoulder. His palms had begun to sweat and a lump had lodged itself in his throat.
“Thank you Hill” Charlotte dismissed the man instead, giving Archie’s ancient butler a reproving stare she hustled him out the door and shut it firmly behind him.
Whirling around in a flurry of skirts, Charlotte looked like an avenging angel as she faced him.
“How dare you try to send me away!” she hissed at him, her hands clenched at her sides.
“Did anyone see you arrive?” Archie ignored her angry words and stood up, his legs shaking beneath him. “Maybe we can sneak you out through the servant’s entrance and no one will see you leave.”
Charlotte ignored his words and sat down in the chair opposite his desk. She arranged herself appropriately, her face a mask of politeness as she gestured to his chair.
“Please sit down, my lord.”
Charlotte’s tone left no room for discussion and Archie had to quell the instant reaction of wanting to drop instantly into the chair opposite her.
Archie had no idea what she wanted, but sitting down and discussing it would not be in his best interest. She had a way of making him forget everything but her and in his current state of melancholy, that was far too tempting a proposition.
“Lady Charlotte, I really don’t think you should be here. Perhaps I could call on you at your parent’s residence?” He was imploring, still continuing to stand whilst she sat.
He had no intention of calling on her ever again of course, but he had to say something to get her out of his house. His bachelor household, for goodness sake!
When she continued to gaze at him, he tried again. “You know very well that you shouldn’t have called on me here.” She knew every rule inside out and back to front. This meeting broke so many rules, he was beginning to feel dizzy.
“Oh pish posh,” Charlotte waved her hand and dismissed his words. “Are you expecting many visitors?” She quirked one eyebrow in an ironic question.
Archie sat down in his chair with a thump, the leather soft beneath his hands.
“You know, then.”
It was no worse than he feared, but he had somehow hoped that she wouldn’t find out.
“About your brother? Of course, I did. My deepest condolences to you Archie, didn’t you receive my notes?” Her eyes softened and Archie wanted to kiss her. No one had bothered to express their sorrow at the loss of his brother since his manner of death had become known. They were too busy talking about the scandal of his death. Why he had died. Archie had known it would be useless to try and hide the truth and it had been. People always found out.
“Thank you, Charlotte,” Archie whispered. “But you really must go.”
“Why? I need to speak to you.”
“If you were found in here with me alone...” Archie began, but Charlotte cut him short.
“I know. I’d have to marry you. But since you have decreed, several times, that you don’t want to marry me, I suppose I’d just be ruined.”
Archie’s mouth opened on a gasp. She had actually believed him when he said he didn’t want to marry her? Oh, God, if only that were the truth. He would give up his fortune, his new title, anything he could give up to marry Charlotte. But how could he? When his name was now ruined as he had always known it would be?
“I would never let you be ruined, Charlotte,” he said softly.
“Better that, than be married for life to a man who didn’t want me,” Charlotte said spitefully, her eyes flashing at him.
“Of course, I bloody want you!” Archie shouted, without thought.
Charlotte gasped in shock, her blue eyes wide and beautiful.
“You know I want you, Charlotte, I have proved that time and time again, but as I have told you before, I cannot marry you.” Archie knew he was being cruel, but the truth poured out of him along with his anger.
Charlotte stood up and walked to the back of the room.
“Cannot,” she repeated then turned around to face him, her eyes shimmering with tears. “Or will not?”
“Charlotte, must you really make me say it? My name, my family’s name is now completely ruined. I could never drag you into what we have become. We will be lucky if polite society even accepts us after our mourning period has finished.” He raked a hand through his already disheveled hair.
“You’ve known about your brother’s illness for a long time haven’t you?” she asked quietly.
Archie didn’t know what he had expected next from Charlotte, but that definitely wasn’t it. He was emotionally rung out and had no strength to lie to her.
“Yes, my father told me the week before my eighteenth birthday.” He admitted, dropping into his study chair without waiting for her to sit also.
“And that is the reason you have never visited a brothel before?” Charlotte prodded gently again.
Archie laughed a little bitterly. Everything Charlotte believed about him was about to be dragged through the mud.
“Yes, it is. My father told me to keep myself alive and out of the whore houses. You’ve always told me I was self-righteous, but the truth is I was just too scared. Funny isn’t it? I’m not any better than all of those men you despise for having mistresses, because if it wasn’t for my father I would be exactly the same.”
“Why di
dn’t you find a low-born virgin and make her your mistress? You could have bedded her as much as you wanted and you wouldn’t have risked a disease.”
Archie stared at the woman opposite him. He was shocked by the fact that Charlotte had come up with this apparent solution because it had been one he had considered many times before.
“I couldn’t afford a mistress,” Archie counted.
Charlotte made an unladylike snorting noise.
“It’s true, you have to pay for rent on a house, clothes, servants, jewels...” He realized too late his mistake and shut his mouth quickly.
“So you had considered it?” She asked quietly again.
“Yes, I had,” he admitted, “I told you I was just as bad as any other gentleman.”
Charlotte moved around him and placed her hands on either side of his face. He refused to look at her, mortified. She moved again so that she was sitting on his desk in front of him and caressed his cheeks with her bare hands.
“It isn’t what we wish we could do that makes us who we are, it’s what we actually do that’s important.”
She exerted pressure on his jaw and after a moment, Archie let her have her way. Raising his head, he looked into his eyes. Charlotte studied his face for long moments before she pressed her lips to Archie’s and slid her arms around his neck.
Archie allowed the kiss because it felt so damn good to have her in his arms again, but he had every intention of stepping away from her once she’d finished. It wasn’t until he felt her tongue steal into his mouth and felt her press her body against his as she slipped into his lap that his resolution dissolved. He ravaged her mouth with all the pent up longing in his soul. He loved this woman. He loved her heart, he loved her sense of humor, he loved the fact that she had come to his home to offer her support despite the scandal. He ran his hands down her back, enjoying her small frame, grabbed her fleshy bottom with both hands and pulled her fiercely closer to his aroused body.
She moaned loudly and renewed her attack on his mouth.
Archie broke away gasping and pulled them both into standing position so that he could get away from her. He turned his back to Charlotte, trying to control his body which was shuddering with desire. He could lay her down right here in the study and no one would know.