by Chris Taylor
Will had been stunned to discover him at the Black Opal. The only thing he was thankful for was that his father hadn’t blown his cover. When he’d turned his back on his father’s world and had embraced the life of a law enforcement officer, relations between them had hit an all-time low.
It wasn’t as if Will had anything against advertising, or even working for his father, despite their lack of closeness. It was more a case of a total lack of interest in what went on in his father’s world. Advertising could never measure up to his passion for police work. He’d always dreamed of making a difference. Police officers routinely faced life and death situations. They were an integral piece of the fabric of society. Without laws and law enforcers, he believed it was a fast road to anarchy.
His training at the Police Academy in Goulburn had left him with some of the best memories of his life. Finally, he’d found a purpose. Finally, he was making a difference. The Academy was also where he’d met his best mate, Andy Warwick.
They’d graduated together and had then gone their separate ways, being stationed as probationary officers in busy police stations in Sydney suburbs which couldn’t be any further apart, but they’d kept in touch and now, with both of them living and working in the inner city, they often socialized together on their days off. Will recalled his promise to Andy to take the yacht out and made a mental note to call and confirm.
The telephone on Will’s desk rang, interrupting his musings. He turned away from the window to answer it. “Yes?”
“Will, it’s Carol. Your father’s ready for you now.”
The nerves he’d almost managed to suppress immediately rushed back to crowd his belly. He swallowed the lump in his throat and licked his dry lips. Now that the moment was upon him, he didn’t have a clue what he was going to say, but to delay the confrontation would achieve nothing. He drew in a deep breath then released it slowly and strode determinably across the room and opened the door.
A few minutes later, he stood before his father.
“Will, come in. Carol told me you wanted to see me.”
“Yeah, I did. The other night, at the Black Opal, I—”
“I get it. You were on a job. I’m not stupid and I’m not surprised. You think I don’t give a damn about your police career, but the truth is, I knew within a few days of the paperwork being approved that you’d transferred to the DEA and I knew why.”
His father’s familiar, steely eyed gaze bored into him, alight with challenge. Will did his best to conceal his surprise. “I-I had no idea.”
“Of course you didn’t. That’s exactly how I wanted it. All these years, you thought I didn’t care, but I’ve always cared. I’m not denying the death of your mother hit me hard, but you’re my son. How could you think I didn’t love you?”
Pain tore through Will at his father’s words. A second later, rage surfaced. “That’s total bullshit! You didn’t love me! You didn’t give a damn about me. From the very day he was born, it was all about Cole. You brought him home and I ceased to exist.”
“No.” The cold certainty in his father’s voice gave him pause, but Will quickly recovered.
“Yes, Dad. That’s exactly how it was. I was thirteen. I’d lost my mother and I might as well have lost my father, too. There was no one else for you, but Cole.”
“You were jealous.”
“You bet I was! I was a kid! I stood by and watched while you lavished him with love and praise. He was the golden child who could do no wrong. I was the third wheel. It was always that way.” Will’s breath came fast. His chest heaved like he’d sprinted up every single one of the ten flights of stairs that led to his father’s office.
Pain and regret flooded his father’s face. “It was never meant to be like that, Will. I swear. I-I pushed you away, I know that, but I never… Your mother died giving birth to Cole. She gave her life for him. I had to honor her sacrifice. Above all else, I owed her that much.”
His voice cracked with emotion. Will steeled himself against the sympathy that rushed to the surface. He wouldn’t feel sorry for his father. He wouldn’t.
“It’s too late, Dad. I don’t care.” The lie tasted bitter on his lips.
Deep sadness and grief slackened his father’s features. With his head bowed, he spoke quietly. “Although I’ve tried to justify it, there’s no excuse for my actions. I can see that now. I don’t expect you to forgive me. I ask only that you think of me a little less unkindly, every now and then.”
Guilt tore through him. He thought of Savannah and the burgeoning feelings he had for her. He barely knew her and yet every time he thought of her, he was filled with a fierce need to protect her and keep her safe from harm. He couldn’t imagine what it would be like to be married to her for thirteen years, to be beyond besotted with her, only to lose her in tragic circumstances…
His shoulders slumped on a heavy sigh. Without conscious thought, he drew closer to where his father sat hunched over his desk.
“I’m sorry, too, Dad. I’ve been mad as hell at you all these years. I never took the time to look past my pain. I can’t imagine what you went through when Mom died and now Cole…” Will’s voice cracked. It was too soon… Every time he thought of his little brother—the smile that lit up his face like sunshine, the cheeky glint in his eyes—he ached all over again.
“I miss both of them so much,” his father said quietly.
Will’s breath hitched. “Me, too.”
“I’m sorry, Will. I’m sorry for all of us. I should have been there for you when your mother died, I should have been strong for you. I was the adult, the one you should have been able to rely on for help. I let you down and I let Cole down.”
His father stared at him. “You tried to tell me Cole was struggling. I didn’t want to listen. He was my beautiful boy, my flawless child. I couldn’t bear to think of him as anything other than perfect… It was only right before the end that I realized you were right. I pulled some strings… I got him into rehab…but he wouldn’t go. And then it was too late.” He shook his head in disbelief. “Cole, of all people, knew how much I grieved over the loss of your mother. I couldn’t believe he would… I still can’t believe it.”
Emotion tightened Will’s chest. He cleared his throat and opened his mouth to speak. His father beat him to it.
“I’ve always been proud of you, Will. I’ll admit I was disappointed when you weren’t interested in working alongside of me in the advertising business, but I couldn’t help but admire your career choice. Being a copper is a tough gig, in anyone’s book. There are plenty not cut out for it. But you were determined to succeed and you’ve worked hard to get where you are. Apart from all of that, you love it, don’t you?” Robert turned back to face him.
Will nodded, his throat tight. “Yeah, I do.”
“I’ve followed your career from day one. At first, I thought it was a simple act of rebellion on your part. You knew how much I wanted you to be part of my business world—but the longer I watched you, the more I realized you were doing it for no other reason than because it was what you wanted to devote your life to—serving and protecting others. I was humbled by your dedication to the cause. I-I still am.”
Will shook his head, flooded with uncertainty. “But what about the arguments we had, when you refused to accept my career in law enforcement? You even kept an office here with my name on it.”
Robert grimaced. “It was stupid, wasn’t it? I guess I wanted you to know you’d always have a place at Rutledge Advertising, if you ever felt the need for it. Cole was always going to follow in my footsteps. I-I wanted you to know you were just as welcome.”
“So you didn’t do it in the hope I’d come to my senses and forget all about my policing efforts?”
His father looked at him in surprise. “Of course not. Like I said, I’ve always been proud of your selfless commitment to others. I-I guess I’d begun to see how I’d lavished Cole with perhaps more than his fair share of attention. I wanted to somehow make it up
to you; to let you know you were an equally important part of our family.”
Will closed his eyes at the enormity of his misunderstanding. All these years, he’d thought his father had been ashamed of Will’s career choice, ashamed of him. A torrent of emotion surged through him.
“I wish you’d told me, Dad. I wish—”
“So do I, son. So do I.” He breathed a heavy sigh. “When I saw you at the Black Opal and realized you were there undercover, my heart nearly stopped. Vince Maranoa’s not a man to be messing with. He’s a dangerous criminal who cares nothing for the law.”
Will frowned. “I don’t understand. Why do you go there, then?”
Robert shrugged and looked away, a faint blush staining his cheeks. “What can I say? Your mother’s been gone a long time. I get lonely. All of those establishments ride the edges of legality. I don’t need to tell you that. The fact is, Vince runs a good shop. He’s picky on who he allows through the door. His girls are clean and disease-free. The surroundings are more than comfortable. I can relax with a drink or two and know that my presence will go no further than the walls of the Black Opal. Whatever else Vince is, he’s the epitome of discretion. You can’t say that about any of the others. A man in my position can’t be too careful.”
Will blinked and tried to come to terms with all that he’d learned. There had been one revelation after another and it was a lot to take in. First and foremost was the need to let go of the pain from his youth and to accept that his father was just as fallible as the next man. Will was absolutely certain that until he’d made peace with his past, he’d never be able to give his all to the future. A future he hoped included Savannah…
* * *
Will stared at the blotter on his desk in Rutledge Advertising, his thoughts still in turmoil. It had been more than an hour since he’d left his father’s office and he still hadn’t reconciled himself to all that his father had revealed. Among the chaos that churned inside him, relief slowly trickled into his veins, followed quietly by hope. It blossomed and grew and little by little brought him peace.
The years of anger and hurt and disappointment were over. He’d managed to put them behind him. He’d even found the strength to forgive his father…and Cole.
His thoughts centered on Savannah and another surge of hope rushed through him. Was it possible she might come to care for him, like he cared for her? The way she’d left him at the brothel, he had his doubts, but he was nothing if not determined and he wasn’t a man who gave up without a fight.
The phone at his elbow pealed in the stillness of his office. Rousing himself, he leaned over and answered it.
“Oh, Will. It’s Carol. I have Andy Warwick waiting to see you. He doesn’t have an appointment but—”
“Thanks, Carol. Send him in.”
Will wondered briefly at the presence of his friend at Rutledge Advertising, but strode toward the door and opened it.
“Andy! What a surprise. How did you know I was here?”
Andy walked past him. “Hey, Will.”
Will frowned at Andy’s somber tone. “Are you okay, mate?”
Andy sighed and threw himself down in the chair opposite Will’s desk. “Failing that negotiator’s course has knocked the wind out of me. I wanted it so much I could taste it…and yet, I failed.”
Will remained silent. There wasn’t anything he could say that would help.
“At least I’m allowed to have another crack at it,” Andy murmured.
Will returned to his seat and nodded. “That’s good news. When are you going to reapply?”
“As soon as possible. There’s no waiting period. It’s just a matter of getting my head in the right space again and going for it a second time.”
In an effort to cheer Andy up, Will changed the subject. “You missed a good time at the ball the other night. Too bad you couldn’t make it.”
Andy sighed. “Yeah, I’m sorry, but I didn’t feel up to socializing.”
“I understand, mate. Maybe next time. How’s Nikki?” Will asked, referring to Andy’s girlfriend.
“Yeah, she’s good. It’s still early days. She doesn’t know about…”
“Your father.”
“Yeah.”
Silence fell between them. Andy’s expression closed. Will could only guess at the terrible memories that bombarded his friend. Andy’s father had battled with demons that eventually took his life. It was the reason Andy was so determined to become a negotiator.
Will cleared his throat and spoke again. “I checked the roster. I’m off on Friday. How about we take the boat out?”
Andy lifted his gaze and attempted a smile. “Yeah, that sounds great. I’m working a late shift, but I’m good for the morning.”
“Great. I’ll meet you at the marina at ten.”
Andy nodded. “Thanks, mate. For everything. I really appreciate it.”
Will nodded solemnly. “You know I’m here for you.”
“Yeah. I do.”
“You’ll be fine, Andy. You’ll sit that test and pass with flying colors. In a couple of weeks, you’ll be bouncing in here bragging about how you nailed it.”
Andy gave him a grateful smile. “Yeah. Absolutely. It’s not going to get the better of me.” Andy pushed back his chair and stood. He held out his hand.
“Thanks, Will. Thanks for…”
Will nodded in understanding. “Anytime, mate. Anytime.”
* * *
After seeing Andy out, Will returned to his seat, stacked his hands behind his head and sighed. Less than a minute later, the phone rang again.
“I’m sorry, Will. It’s Carol again. I have Savannah O’Neill on line two. She says she’s from the Daily Mirror.”
His heart leaped into his throat and his pulse beat double time. His focus changed and his concerns about Andy dissipated. Ever since he’d seen Savannah at the movie premiere, he’d been unable to get her off his mind.
No, scrap that. Ever since he’d first seen her, he hadn’t been able to get her off his mind.
When he’d noticed her at the premiere, it was like he’d been kicked in the gut by a longhorn. He’d cursed silently when he realized the conclusion she’d draw when she saw Candi by his side.
He only hoped she’d understood his none-too-subtle message that Candi meant nothing to him. Savannah had left so abruptly, he hadn’t had the chance to speak with her and clarify. As soon as the movie had ended he’d dropped Candi off at her condo. She asked him inside, but he’d let her know he wouldn’t be seeing her again.
He regretted the brief look of hurt that had flashed in her eyes, but she’d recover from his rejection soon enough. It was part of what had appealed to him about girls like Candi—girls who were after a good time, not a long time. He couldn’t believe how one redheaded woman had changed him so much.
Aware that he hadn’t responded, he cleared his throat. “Thanks, Carol. I’ll take it.” Giving himself a few seconds to grapple with his racing heart, he drew in a couple of deep, calming breaths.
This was crazy. It was like he was sixteen again and about to talk to a girl he’d had a crush on all year. He pressed the flashing line.
“Savannah, nice to hear from you.” He hoped like hell she bought the calm routine he’d managed to steal from some reservoir deep inside him.
“Will, thanks for taking my call.” She hesitated. “I wasn’t sure if I should.”
“Should what?”
“Call.”
The quiet, uncertain voice on the other end of the line tore pieces out of the calm facade he’d managed to fabricate. Where was the feisty, take-no-prisoners girl he’d come to admire and perhaps…even love?
Love? Did he really put Savannah O’Neill and love in the same thought? Was he mad? Before he could give it any further thought, she spoke again.
“Well, you know…you and Candi last night. And before that, at the brothel…”
He bit his lip. “I’m sorry about that. Candi—she’s just a girl I know.
We’ve been out a few times, but never anything serious.”
Savannah sighed. “I’m glad to hear that.”
He heard the relief in her voice and was pleased. She might care more for him than she was prepared to admit.
“About my job,” he added. “I-I should have told you earlier. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to deceive you. I wasn’t sure what was going on with you and…”
“It’s okay. I-I’m not exactly without fault. I was a little too quick to jump to conclusions. I-I was hoping we could call a truce and maybe… I-I thought we might… That is, if you would like, um… I was wondering—”
“What is it, Savannah?” He was suddenly inordinately pleased she was having as much difficulty with their conversation as he was. She sounded…nervous. Her next words came out in a rush.
“What I meant to say was… I mean, to ask is whether you would like to meet me somewhere for a drink?”
Will’s heart leaped with excitement. “Sounds good. When would you like to hook up?”
* * *
Savannah’s heart skipped a beat at Will’s quick response. With an effort, she controlled the sudden galloping sensation in her chest and answered. “H-how about after work today?”
She groaned inwardly as soon as the words were out of her mouth. She didn’t want to sound too eager. He might think she was actually keen to see him again. Which of course, she was.
“This afternoon? Yeah, sure. I can probably get away by five. “Where would you like to get together?”
“Um… How about the Marble Bar at the Hilton?”
His voice was low and intimate in her ear. “The Hilton it is.”
“Okay, good.” She was anxious now to get him off the phone so that she could drag some oxygen into her deprived lungs.
“G-great.”
“How will I know it’s you? I mean, are you coming as an escort? A journalist? Or someone who’s just looking for a fuck?”
She gasped in outrage. “How dare you? You are crude and rude and utterly without manners. I don’t know why I even bothered.”