by J A Heron
Raven and Connor do a fist bump and share a look between them.
The goodbyes are awkward, torturous, and heart-breaking all in one. I don’t want to leave. I don’t want him to leave, and I feel another piece of my heart chip away. It will take some time for me to get over the time we’ve shared together, and I’m thankful we didn’t share intimacy to the fullest extent, otherwise, getting over him leaving would be a whole lot harder.
Benny is quiet as we share a taxi back to her parents’ house. I think I know what’s wrong with her, and we’ll talk about it, but first, we need to deal with the whatever awaits us.
The taxi pulls up outside the house so big it’s bordering on mansion status. She pulls out her key and unlocks the door. To our surprise, it’s still locked, and as we enter, not a single sound can be heard.
“Where is everyone?” Benny asks, looking around the entrance hall.
I shrug.
I follow her lead as she walks up the stairs to her room. We don’t run into anyone in any of the many corridors, and we still don’t hear a sound.
Quietly shutting her bedroom door, I begin to strip out of my ball gown. I feel icky. Benny does the same. “Do you think they know we escaped last night?”
“I don’t know,” I respond, shrugging again. “I suppose it depends if they came in here.”
“They don’t normally check on me in my room, so it looks like they’re still in bed, or they’ve gone out for the day.”
“Any idea where they could’ve gone?”
“None.” She taps her finger against her lips thoughtfully. “I guess they could’ve gone to the market. They have a farmer’s market once a month close by, and today is the day. It’s a possibility they left us sleeping in while they went out. It looks like we may have got away with sneaking out.” She giggles.
We high five each other and take it in turns to use the shower. I’m guessing Benny’s need is stronger than mine, judging by the huge grin that refuses to leave her face.
I come out of the shower, to see Benny drying her hair with one hand, while texting with the other. She’s multi-tasking, not so elegantly, as her phone keeps slipping from her hand. I giggle at the sight, and she just hears me over the whirring of her hair dryer.
“Raven?” I ask.
She nods with a beaming smile. She switches off the dryer, leaving her hair partly damp and in need of taming with a brush. “He’s amazing,” she gushes. I see the heat flood her cheeks as they beam a beautiful shade of crimson. I’ve never seen her blush before. “This is going to get complicated. I can feel it.” Her sudden mood would give anyone nearby whiplash. A moment ago, she was bursting with joy, and now, as realisation sets in, she looks solemn. “What am I going to do?”
“I don’t know,” I answer truthfully.
“All I can do is take it slowly and try to come up with a way out of this mess,” she sobs.
I’m instantly by her side, sitting down on the dressing table stool big enough for two, then wrap my arms around her. She rests her head on my shoulder. I feel the sobs wracking her body, her shaking form jerking against me.
“It will work out,” I tell her, but I’m not feeling the conviction.
“It has to. I can’t marry Giles. I don’t know if this thing between me and Raven will fizzle out, or if it will go somewhere magical. But what I do know is, there is no way I’m marrying someone like Giles. When and if I do get married, it will be with someone I love.”
“I understand, and if I have my way, that dude will be marrying his right hand before he marries my best friend.” We both giggle. “Come on. Let’s get packed for home. I don’t know about you, but I can’t wait to get off this island and back to ours.”
Mr and Mrs Reese-Wilson know what time our ferry is back to Jersey, and I’m guessing they’ll be back to torture Benny some more before we leave.
Our bags are packed, sitting by the door, and I’m eager to walk out of here, not to return for as long as possible.
Benny and I sit in the kitchen. She’s tapping her engagement ring against a cup of tea. “Stop that!” I tell her with a stern stare. “It’s annoying.”
“Sorry. My mind is all over the place.”
“I know,” I whisper sigh, feeling terrible for scolding her. “We need to get out of here, back to our own comfortable environment, and talk without fear of being overheard.”
“You’re right.”
“Take it easy, and we’ll talk as much as you need as soon as we can.” I take a sip of my drink, wishing it was something stronger than tea. “Where are they?” Impatience hits, and I start to pace the room.
“Calm down. We’ll be out of here soon.” I should be the one soothing her; she needs me to be supportive.
“I’m sorry. As soon as we’re out of here, I’ll show you the most supportive friend ever.”
“If we can find one on the way home.” She giggles, and it takes a moment for what she said to sink in. When it does, my whole body shakes with laughter, Benny’s does too.
A couple of days have passed since the engagement party, and I’m still trying with all my might to pull Benny out of her funk. I’ve never seen her so low in all the time I’ve known her, and it’s killing me to see her this way. She’s called in sick the last day and a half. Tuesday morning, she went into work, but was home by lunch time with a depressed expression; it hurt me. I’ve tried several things to cheer her up, like suggesting a shopping trip, a night out at Grumpy’s, a walk along the marina; all her favourite things to do, but she’s not taken me up on any of the offers. All she wants to do is sit in her sweats, order take out, and stare at mind-numbing TV shows all day long.
We’ve talked and talked, but now she’s shutting herself away from everyone. Every time her phone beeps, she picks it up and I see the look of disappointment cross her face when she sees it’s Giles texting her and not Raven. She’s not heard from him for the last couple of days, and it’s hurting her. The last time they text each other, Raven said he’d be in touch, and so far, he hasn’t. She’s not text him, because she’s waiting for him to get in touch first. All this back and forth business is making me dizzy. They’ve not spoken since the day after they spent the night together. She feels used. I’d told her emphatically not to get her hopes up, but she has, and now, this is the result. This girl has always loved too easy, and always the wrong men.
I’ve shouted at her, telling her to take matters into her own hands, but she’s a stubborn cow sometimes. I know how she feels; I feel like I’m moping, or even pining over something that was never mine to begin with. I’ve not heard from Connor either, but I think I’m handling it better than Benny. I didn’t sleep with him, and that’s probably the reason I’m only feeling down, not crushed.
An idea springs to mind.
I sit down on the sofa next to Benny, ignoring the smell of her two-day unwashed body, and hand her a rum and Coke over ice. It’s only lunch time, but I feel the situation warrants something stronger than tea. “Medicinal,” I tell her. “I have an idea.”
“Really?” She sounds excited and sits up immediately.
“Let’s make a deal, but we stick to it and shake on it.”
“I’m not sure I like the sound of this, but go on.” She takes a sip of the drink I gave her. She scrunches her nose up, obviously tasting the bigger measure of rum that completely outweighs the amount of Coke I mixed together.
“You’re pining after Raven, I’m missing Connor. So, if they haven’t contacted us by nine o’clock this evening, then we text them, together. No backing out.”
“Deal,” she says, reaching forward to shake my hand.
“Between now and nine, think of something to say to him. An opener, something cool. Don’t go in all guns blazing.”
“Okay, good thinking. I really like this idea. Let’s just hope they contact us first.” She smiles reluctantly.
I know my friend. She’ll be overthinking what to say to him, should it arise we text them first. I already
know what I’m going to say, but I hold off telling Benny.
I leave her in the lounge watching… whatever it is, and make a phone call.
“Hello.” She answers on the second ring.
“Audrey? It’s Kat. How are you?”
“Hello, dear. I’m fabulous, darling. How are you?”
“I can’t complain. I was just wondering if you fancied that chat sometime soon. I wanted to see you.”
“I’m free tomorrow,” she says. “I’ve been looking for an excuse to go out tomorrow. Now I have one.”
“Do you know the coffee shop down by the marina?”
“I do. Shall I meet you there? Say, eleven?”
“Sounds great.” It means I have a good couple of hours before I have to work. That should be plenty of time to pick her brain about Connor, and Janine Reese-Wilson, and spend quality time with the lovely lady as well.
We say our goodbyes, and I take a shower. Hopefully, my fresh scent will inspire Benny into doing the same. If not, I’ll resort to using brute force by dragging her into the shower.
Benny and I sit watching our favourite program on catch up. We missed it at the weekend, and when we realised this, it threw Benny into another state of sadness. Hopefully, watching sequinned dancers strut their stuff around a dancefloor will cheer her up. We both have a crush on the rather dashing Italian dancer, and we swoon when it’s his turn to dance. We admire the female celebrity he dances with each year, and wish it was us spending time rehearsing in such close confines with him.
“I’d really like to get up close and personal with that Italian sausage.” Benny laughs.
“I’d like to get tangled like tagliatelle in the hay barn.” I laugh.
It’s great to see Benny forgetting her woes, for a brief time, at least. This is how I love to see her, laughing and enjoying the best show on telly – in our opinion. The show ends and that means it’s close to the time we must live up to the deal we made.
We have ten minutes.
“Don’t panic,” I say as I notice her unease when I switch off the TV. “It’ll be fine.”
I know she really likes Raven. She talked my ears off on the way back to her parents’ place, and many times since. I didn’t hear all the gory details, but I know they slept together, and that only sealed her fascination with him.
“What if they don’t want to see us again?” she asks.
“Then at least we’ll know where we stand. Question is, are they man enough to tell us, or will they do that jackass thing by stringing us along?”
“I hope not. I’d really like to see him again.”
“Me too. Connor, I mean. Obviously.”
“Okay, let’s do this.”
“Type out your message, and when you’re ready, we’ll hit send at the same time.”
“Agreed!”
My message is short. Benny’s, however, seems to be taking forever. “We’ve got two minutes left. Are you nearly done?”
“I keep changing my mind. I don’t know what to say.”
“Whatever your gut tells you. The first message you thought of, send that. One minute left.”
“Okay, okay. So much pressure.” Her fingers tap furiously. “Done.”
“Okay, now send.”
We both hit send at the same time, and I take a deep breath and release slowly, but Benny’s deep breath is released harder and faster. “Stop worrying. It’ll be fine.”
“Why did I let you talk me into this madness? He won’t text back when he sees what I’ve written.” She’s gone into full blown panic mode. Her breaths are frantic; she’s hyperventilating. “If he doesn’t text back, it’ll all be your fault.”
Benny stands up, storms off, and slams her bedroom door behind her. She bloody agreed, and now it’s my fault if it doesn’t go how she wants it to.
I can’t win.
I sit tapping my finger against my phone, waiting to see if he texts back. It could be hours. It could be minutes. I decide on pouring another rum and Coke while I wait. In the kitchen, I pour a healthy measure then top up the glass with Coke, adding a couple of ice cubes.
Yum.
I flick through a magazine on the work top, looking for an article, anything that will keep my mind wandering with the hope of hearing my text alert. I dread to think what Benny is doing in her room. Pacing, throwing things, are just a couple of things that spring to mind.
I can’t hear anything crashing about, so my bet is she’s wearing out the thread in the carpet. Items smashing against the wall may come later.
It’s faint, but I hear it. It’s her text alert.
The door smashes against the wall, and she comes running in, a huge smile on her face. “He text me back!” she hollers. No doubt the neighbours heard her.
Connor hasn’t text me, and my heart sinks a little. There’s still time.
“What did he say?” I keep my tone excitable. I don’t want my sadness to affect her joy.
“He can’t wait to see me again.” She beams, looking down at the messages.
“I’m so happy for you.” My response is sincere, but there’s a tinge of jealousy.
Her phone pings again. “Pour me one of those. Back in a sec.”
I do as she asks and pour her a drink. Her annoyance with me didn’t last long, and I’ll forgive her anyway, just to see the smile on her face. I’m a little deflated that Connor hasn’t responded to me yet, but I try to keep positive. He could be busy, and it’s not like he and Raven are joined at the hip.
She’s been gone for ages, probably deep in text conversation with the handsome Raven. The ice has melted in her glass, so I pour myself a fresh drink and add some more ice to hers.
A few minutes later, she’s re-emerged with another huge smile. She sits on the stool by the breakfast bar and sips her drink. Her phone is clutched, like her life depends on it, in her other hand. Her phone pings again and I watch as she quickly types out another message with a salacious grin on her face.
OMG! They’re sexting while I’m in the same room.
“Raven says Connor is busy with a new project. He probably hasn’t seen his messages yet.”
“What?”
“I asked Raven why Connor hasn’t messaged you yet.”
“Why? Why would you do that? I didn’t ask you to.”
“I know, but I could see you’re feeling sad. So, I asked him.”
“I’m not sad,” I lie. “Now I’m a little pissed off that you decided to take my love life into your own hands.”
“Don’t be such a baby.”
“I’m not being a baby. You know what? Forget it.” It’s now my turn to storm off and slam my bedroom door.
I hide myself away, change into my pyjamas, and have an early night.
I snuggle down in my duvet, shutting out the cold. The temperature outside is dropping further as we head into December. It’s only going to get colder, and as much as I love the winter, I’m not a fan of the icy elements.
It also means that Christmas is approaching, and I’m not a fan of that particular holiday either.
I grab my phone, hoping I’ve missed a text alert, but I have it pretty loud, so I know it’s wishful thinking.
Nothing.
Not even an exclusive offer text came through.
I’m a mess.
I’m lying with my back to the door as I hear it open. I hear the faint sound of someone moving about, trying to be quiet. The light from the living area shines in my room, and I see a shadow reflecting on the wall before me. My bed dips, and I hear her sigh.
A few moments pass before she says, “I’m sorry.”
I breathe out for a couple of beats before I turn over and see the sad eyes of my best friend.
“Don’t be sorry. It’s fine.”
“It’s not fine. You were right. I shouldn’t have stuck my nose in where it’s not wanted,” she says as she twiddles her fingers.
“It’s done now, and there’s nothing anyone can do about it.”
“There’s still time for him to text you,” she says, with hope in her voice.
“I guess, but it’s no biggie if he doesn’t. I guess I was building my hopes up for nothing.” There is a little sadness in my tone, but I’m not feeling too bad about the situation. “I guess I read too much into the time we’ve shared. It’s not like I’m in love with him, so I won’t lose any sleep over him.”
“Are you trying to convince me, or yourself?”
I knew she’d see straight through my lie.
“I suppose I’m trying to convince myself. Look…” I sit up and look her straight in the eye. “He was great. We had a fantastic time together, but he lives miles away, over The Channel, and it’s not like we’re going to bump into each other walking down the street. I’ll get over him.”
“There are many more fish in that Channel. Some cross over to Jersey, and some stick around. I have no doubt we’ll both find love… one day.”
We hug each other then say goodnight.
I snuggle down again, pulling my duvet up to my chin. It doesn’t take long for my eyes to droop and the world around me to fade away.
Tomorrow promises to be a good day.
When I wake, I can hear Benny rushing around, with the occasional curse here and there. I have a feeling she’s been up all-night texting Raven, overslept, and is now late for work.
I lean over and see it’s gone eight-thirty in the morning. Considering she starts her shift at eight-fifteen, she’d better get her arse moving.
I throw the duvet off me, feeling the morning chill hit my bare legs. I adjust my shorty pyjamas, throw on my dressing gown, and go in search of coffee. “Yes, I know I’m late, but I can’t find my bloody car keys.” She’s talking to someone with her phone resting between her ear and shoulder as she rampages through the apartment. Her voice sounds panicked. It’s not because she’s late, it’s because her father will make her suffer if he finds out. I watch as she runs around the lounge, lifting pillows, sofa cushions, and rummaging through her handbag. “Where the fuck are they?”
I spot her keys sitting on the bookcase. I walk over and pick them up. She hasn’t seen me. “Here they are,” I announce.