Wanting So Bad, Loving So Good

by Bella Bentley

  To the right was a velvet couch tucked nicely in a corner with hanging lanterns dimly lit. The sheer curtains were pulled back.

  “Why don’t we sit?”

  His voice was low and scruffy.

  I followed him and we sat. I found myself sitting at the edge of the corner as he comfortably draped his arm along the couch.

  A woman in red lingerie approached us with red cocktails in short glasses with gold rims.

  “This is jack and soda. It has a little kick to it.” He said behind the dark mask that only revealed the bottom of his nose and his lips and jaw.

  I gladly took the drink and downed it coughing horribly at the burning spice that warmed the back of my throat. I definitely was not expecting that to be in there. I couldn’t stop coughing as I gasped to breath. It was so spicy!

  “Jalapenos. I was just about to tell you but well, you finished it already.” A smile hung on his lips.

  The server handed me a glass of water.

  I felt ridiculous.

  “That was also a double of jack. Hope you can hold your liquor.” The voice teased.

  The sexy server took the drink from me with a sly smile.

  “Will that be all sir?”

  He nodded.

  “Very well, sir.” She closed the sheer curtains, sauntering away with a string of lace dangling in her butt cheeks and I watched her walk away feeling self-conscious. I had never been around so many beautiful women in my life.

  I looked down at my lap feeling keenly aware of this. Okay, I was a more than a tad bit self-conscious! But the sexy feel of the lingerie fabric against my skin, was doing a number on my sex drive. I felt my inner lioness being born. I was roaring on the inside with desire.

  “I think I might be able to hold my liquor.” But even as I said it, I knew it was not true. Wow, that had hit fast.

  “Oh really?” He rested his arm on the armrest and tilted his chin. He had a nice defined jaw. Yet many of them did. What was their secret? I wonder if his jaw line is natural. They probably have the best plastic surgeons at their disposal. I studied his jaw line more definitively. Wow, this sure was buzz-reasoning talking in my head. I needed to snap out of it! His hand rested on his chin and he stroked it a bit, studying me intensely.

  What was he thinking?

  Shit. Maybe he’s a plastic surgeon and he’s totally analyzing my facial symmetry.

  “You’re not a plastic surgeon are you? Analyzing my symmetry, because I already know it. The left side of my lip is a tad bit more fuller than the right. Lip liner is my savior.”

  I took a nervous sip of my water and I stared at his mask and the eyes behind the mask but suddenly felt a bit uncomfortable. It was sort of creepy staring at a dark mask. And he wasn’t even talking! Just staring!

  “Yes, well to answer your question, I can hold my liquor. I might have been a pre med student my whole undergrad, which translates no social life outside of study groups, but my best friend drug me to many frat parties.” Oh man, I sounded like a stupid teenager! Oh listen to me, I hang out with the popular girl! I snapped my lips shut feeling incredibly silly. I always got talkative when I teetered that line!

  Well, at least I wasn’t feeling terrified which is what I felt moments ago.

  I was just about to ask if I should be terrified, and for what reason, but I shook my head and scolded myself. I inhaled deeply trying to pull it together. The way he stared at me, sizing me up, I had no idea what he was thinking and what he was planning and plotting to do with me, or if in fact, he was analyzing me.

  “You strike me as one here not seeking experience.” He held out his glass and tilted the liquid to the left.

  “Everyone keeps saying that!”

  He shook his glass in small motions. “Let me guess, sex to you is an intense emotional connection, like most women. You’ve never watched a porno, never touch yourself, and there are certain sex acts you’ve heard of but have never dared to try.”

  My jaw dropped open but I quickly shut my mouth again. Feeling completely Honest-Abe from downing that double jack, I pursed my lips together. “Hm . . . your assessment is mostly true, but—“

  “And I wonder if you’ve ever really had a real orgasm before.”

  I was just about to answer that. So, okay, no my ex boyfriend wasn’t that experienced at lovemaking. We both weren’t since we were both virgins. But the man who bid and won me just hours ago . . . now that was an explosive orgasm.

  “I find . . . . “ I began slowly. “That—“

  “Or did that bidder of yours give you one?”

  My jaw hung open and a small squeak escaped me as he slid closer to me, running his left hand up my leg and began sliding his fingers towards the sensitive soft skin of my inner thighs. His thumb teetered along that line of fabric that meticulously separated ultra sensitivity from my begging pleasure center.

  “Because I know a thing or two about women, as well.” He whispered, his breath hot and moist on my neck.

  The music changed into a hypnotic techno beat completely altering my mood. I was being seduced by his touch. I felt hypnotized by the need.

  His left hand tag teamed with his right hand as he leaned close to me and his juicy lips found mine as his thumb found my slick swelling folds.

  I moaned into his mouth as his tongue explored deep within me. He nipped and trailed his tongue along my lips. I kissed him back eagerly and explored the feel of his tongue.

  When his thumb found its way over my swollen nob and when his pointer finger entered into me so deep, so swift, and so easily, that’s when I realized I had been freed of the buttons that fastened the thin fabric over my wet bareness. I had been so caught up in the way my lips felt with his, and the incredible sensitivity of my glistening desire that I didn’t even realize his swift move.

  I cried out again and couldn’t move. His weight over me, the spell he cast. I was his.

  “I love seeing you squirm.”

  He kept working his magic as his head burrowed between my breasts and he devoured me. The cool plastic of his mask against my hot skin, tickled, adding to the complexity and layers of my blazing feelings.

  I already felt the sensation rising in me. I was going to explode. Any second now. As my sighs escalated, and my moans grew more frequent, when I finally felt that peak approaching, he pulled away from me.

  I lay there spent. Breathless.

  I watched him suck his finger, tasting me. My eyes went to his swollen member beneath his pants and I just couldn’t help it; the boldness, the need in me was too much. My hand fell on top of his hardened shaft. He didn’t object, so I freely straddled him and unzipped his pants as he just watched me.

  I hoped this was okay.

  After all, I wasn’t sure how the club rules worked.

  With his hands firmly grasped on my hips after he pulled my straps down freeing my breasts, I knew I had made the right decision.

  I grab his heated flesh and lead him to my desire. He filled me deep, and filled me just right. Oh, this feels so good. His strong hands helped guide me, up and down, in and out. In and out, up and down, he lifted me as my swollen clit brushed against the button of his white crisp dress shirt. Such stimulation coupled with the deep way he filled me, with the pinching of my nipples with his gorgeous hands sent me over the edge. And at that moment, I realized I completely forgot to put a condom on him! Where was one any way?

  Oh, but this feeling I couldn’t dismiss. It was too late. I came in escalating waves first. But then, but then...I came deep within as he lifted his pelvis and thrust his member deep, deep, deep within. His tip rubbed against that magical spot deep within me.

  My cries were loud and long as I felt him come within me. My heart raced like I was running the fastest race of my life.

  He let out a long sigh and lifted his mask as he laughed. “I knew I could make you come again.”

  Electric shivers surged through my veins.

  It was him! Him!

  The man that
bid and won me.

  The man that lit every centimeter of my body on livid fire to be near him, to be touched my him. Who just did it to me again! I guess sometimes bodies are meant for each other. The way we fit, the way our bodies gelled into each other. I should have known.

  “You!” I sat back on his legs, with his limpness still inside of me. I was inches from his puppy dog brown eyes; his perfectly symmetrical face, his full lips.

  “You.” He helped me up and sat me next to him, reaching to the side to the box of tissues strategically placed below. What . . . no one to come clean him up like in the games? But in this moment, I was thankful for no interruption.

  I fought hard to catch my breath as I studied him.

  “But you were in a separate color group?”

  “I pulled a few strings. Like I said earlier, I had to see you again. So, back to my assessment from earlier, was that an intense emotional connection? Or just hot sex?”

  It was emotional! Was he kidding? I was still breathless. I was still in shock, in complete bliss seeing him again. But I couldn’t let a big powerful man like him know that. Or should I? Was I vulnerable enough? Instead, I sidestepped the question.

  “I feel maybe because of my conservative upbringing that I’ve perhaps held back maybe who I really am. But I’m learning to find out who I really am right now.”

  “Oh really? And do you feel that in this moment, right now, you may have learned who you really are?”

  I nodded.

  “Well, now. I’m honored in being a teacher of sorts.” He reached for his glass from the side table and downed the rest of its red contents.

  “Conservative upbringing you say?” He smiled.

  “Yeah, very. South. Raised in the 2nd pew in church, practically.”

  “Now we have something in common.”

  “We do?”

  “You’re looking at a preacher’s son.”

  “I am?”

  He laughed. “Don’t look so shocked. Kings of old had their fun, including the men we are taught about in church.” He winked. “They just confessed later on and made it into heaven, right?”

  I let out a small laugh.

  “Anyway, by the time I was ten, I had heard a thousand sermons. I had also heard a thousand times how I was to take over the church one day and be the next pastor. My dad’s dad was a minister, so was his dad, and his dad. Everyone expected it of me. But I didn’t have it in me. I was fascinated with the art of making money and dreamt of being on the cover of Forbes. So I made it happen.”

  He just became so much more interesting.

  “And your family’s thoughts on this?”

  “Dad’s passed now.”

  “Oh, I’m sorry to hear that.”

  “It’s okay.”

  “I can totally understand that pressure, too, you know.”

  “You do, do you?”

  “That’s why I came to California...to create my own path. I was the only one in my circle to move away. All my friends are already married and some even have a family already.”

  Something sparkled in his eye. I wondered if I said something that struck a chord.

  “Yes, it’s good to create your own path. The only way to live. Sometimes one’s surroundings can really stunt one’s growth if they are meant to swim in the ocean but only are told and allowed to swim in the pond.”

  I nodded.

  Oh my gosh. Were we really doing this? Talking like this?

  “Life’s meant to be enjoyed. It’s not a bunch of rules that if you do right, then you go to heaven. As in right now, wasn’t that so much fun? What a pity to always feel guilt all the time and to deny the very cravings that create a passionate colorful life.”

  I stared at him. I didn’t have words.

  My heart pounded and my face went numb. That’s exactly how I felt! Was I really having a theological discussion with him? Oh boy, this conversation was building a bridge to my heart.

  “But in all seriousness, I do good. I donate. I help the poor. But the fact is, men are sexual.” His finger trailed my arm and chills ran up and down.

  “Tell me, McKenzie. What is your forbidden fantasy that you’ve always kept locked inside? After all, we are in the passion wing. Forbidden passions.”

  Feeling incredibly dizzy—dizzy in intoxication, dizzy in infatuation, dizzy in intense lust for this man, to see his chiseled abs again, his chest, to see that look in his eyes that my body pleased him, and to feel the way he pleased me, well . . . I went wet again. I discreetly looked down to make sure I wasn’t making a mess.

  And then there he was again, kissing my neck in gentle kisses. Trailing down along my collarbone causing my nipples to harden instantly, my need for him escalating higher than I ever thought to be possible.

  He trailed back to my neck and behind my ear where he nibbled my earlobe.

  “What makes you feel naughty?” His hot whisper made me snap into two at his mercy.

  “I . . .uh . . . this feels so . . . good. You feel good.”

  “So do you. I can make you feel really good.” He growled. “Tell me, what makes you wild. What idea makes you writhe in pleasure?”

  He continued trailing, pressing his warm tongue more along my collarbone and then down to my blossoming breasts. He cupped my right breast as he generously began kissing and sucking. I couldn’t move. I couldn’t breath by the overwhelming feeling of pleasure.

  “Isn’t . . . .“ oh the way he made me feel, I couldn’t even speak! I took in a fresh breath to steady my nerves. But there was no use in trying to do that. “Isn’t that what I am supposed to be asking you in a place like this?”

  He kept sucking my nipples hard as his hands braced my waist, his thumbs brushing my stomach.

  “It pleasures me to see what pleasures a soul like you.”

  Okay, when was the snooze going to go off and awaken me from this dream? Because, what man says that? What billionaire says that when he’s at a club where he could possibly do anything and everything he wanted to do sexually with a woman?

  “There has to be something.”

  He pulled back and searched my eyes with his chocolate brown puppy dog eyes. I studied them. He looked so young. He had to only be in his early thirties, if not late twenties.

  The fact was, there was something. I had always imagined and fantasized being tied up to a four-post bed and to be taken, to be held captive by my sexy lover.

  Lover and not fucker.

  But, I didn’t care which it was with him. I could be fucked if it was him!

  “To be tied up on a four-post bed and be made lo—to be fu—taken however he desired.”

  He went to my other breast, doing the kissing and sucking number. My fists were clenched tight in desire. Finally he pulled away and I could breath again.

  He looked at me with hungry eyes. A flash of desire.

  “Is that what you desire?”

  I nodded as I bit my lip.

  He stood up and reached for my hand. “Then follow me.” He said daringly, full of intrigue, as he placed his mask back on his face.

  I beamed at him. I want to please him. I wanted to be pleasing to him because at the back of my mind there existed a fantasy of dreaming that we would be together and not just in this moment. That he wanted to magically create a life with me.

  Because who tastes the taste of this luxury and then is expected to go back to normal life? No, I couldn’t ever go back. He had already ruined me! No one would ever compare to him. Ever.

  As I slipped my lingerie set on, I felt the hanging fabric that covered my eager little pussy. I was just about to fasten the buttons when he stopped me.

  “No, leave them open. I like seeing your bare beauty.”

  “Uh . . . ok.”

  I wondered if anyone would see me! Nonetheless, I didn’t care. I was with him! And this is what he liked. Well, then, I liked it too. It just amplified my hungry appetite for him much more.

  Chapter Nine

  I follow
ed him with stars in my eyes, and the beating of my heart beat as if the loudest drum. The way his large hand cupped my clammy petite hand, the way we walked throughout the grand hallway, my strappy heels and his grand designer men’s dress shoes against the cool marble of the night, it all felt a dream. And we were headed to a location to make my dream, my fantasy come true.

  I felt like a princess with her dashing handsome prince: tall, dark, handsome and rich.

  And he wanted me.

  He really wanted me!

  He had changed colors just to see me again. Whatever that had meant or entailed.

  I have to see you again. Flashed through my memory as we walked for minutes in the wing and finally up a windy staircase and into a room with candles hanging on the wall lit with fire. It was a cottage feel compared to the grandness of all the other rooms we were in.

  A small window hung very high on the wall, too high for me to see anything other than the glittering stars outside. It was too high for me to see the landscape, to find a clue of where we were. But it didn’t matter. All that mattered was being there with him. He was all the landscape I needed. I could care less where we were!

  There in the corner of the small room was a four post bed.

  The door shut and the draft from the air was chilling. Seeing me shiver, he walked over to a fireplace and started a fire with the push of the button. The amber and light from the logs, the smell, the candles, the dimly lit room, was perfect. Just romantically perfect and I felt like the luckiest girl in the world.

  As he turned around and took his mask off, the need for him was all consuming. My pussy swelled with desire and the throbbing against my sensitive swollen nod was almost too much. I just wanted to pounce on him and have him again.

  But then again, we were here for my fantasy. My fantasy where I’d be tied up and have no control but to be made love to.

  He walked over to a side wooden table and opened a drawer to reveal white silk strips.

  “They think of everything in this place.”

  He touched the soft silk with his fingers and I imagined his fingers touching me in my most sensitive silky places and I shuttered in delight for hopefully what was to come next.