Wanting So Bad, Loving So Good

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Wanting So Bad, Loving So Good Page 19

by Bella Bentley


  “You trust that I can make you feel good? And you can trust that I’ll take you to heights never traveled? Just like last night? With your first time in the ass?”

  “Uh huh!” I squealed against the intense throbbing as I neared the end.

  “You know your safe word...” and finally my panties were freed with the ripping of his strong hand and my throbbing-engorged-orgasm-spent lips were now face to face with this soft padded vibrator.

  I started shaking my head no and my breathing doubled. I didn’t think I could handle this anymore. In fact, there it was, the moment where a sharp dull sensation filled my veins and I felt my once explosive pleasure turn into almost an unbearable sensation. My breath shortened as I grit my teeth and clenched every muscle in my body trying to fight off the feeling. I was nearing my end. I couldn’t last much longer. The vibration was too intense. His hand rested on my stomach and he smiled as he puffed again.

  “Breathe with me. Look me in the eyes. You’re going to orgasm again.”

  And with that statement, the device picked up speed and this time I cried out, not recognizing myself. My head shot back and I clenched my eyes shut.

  Ahhhhhhhhhhhh!!!

  I pressed my feet against the bed as if I were readying to jump to the moon. My entire clit, the lips, the swollen folds were now engulfed in this all consuming head of vibration and I was just about to call out—Oxford.

  I opened my jaw.

  “Oh—”

  “Breathe, Kenze. Inhale...”

  I inhaled and felt my legs clenching, my entire body trying to rise from the bed, to appease the vibration, as if somehow it could tone it down. I bit my lower lip again and moaned like a woman in labor. I opened my mouth and was just about to utter the words when the motion shifted from the intense vibration against my spent clit to now a very slow, low level vibration and I felt the strangest thing—My body started relaxing and the pleasant delicious feeling surfaced over my body again like heat, bubbling up slowly and slowly, like steam on a summer day from the rain. Taking it’s time, no where to be, just lifting slightly higher and higher.

  I lay my head back and sighed enjoying the release.

  I relaxed against the bed and closed my eyes and enjoyed the sensation of being brought to a second orgasm. My inner walls clenched and released, clenched and released, and my hips bucked and bucked against the light vibration as if begging for more, as the sensations grew into a slow rising orgasm.

  “Ohhhhhhhhhhh,” My moan was long and my body began convulsing again all over again.

  My stomach muscles clenched and my legs shook as I neared climax. Finally, I exploded in pleasure and my body lay back, utterly spent, seeking it’s release from the shaking, the buzzing from the vibrator.

  Yet, the buzzing continued and I knew it was just a matter of seconds before the end of the pleasure floated away.

  I closed my eyes and saw all sorts of colors floating in my minds’ eye as how it feels so good that it hurts. I opened my eyes again and saw the time

  It had been twenty-five minutes.

  Everything around my lips was so sensitive I felt as if I doubled in size. It never felt so swollen, puffy, and there was one thing I couldn’t escape from, the continuing low vibration of the toy.

  “I have to get something inside.”

  And with that he left me alone as I called after him.

  “Kyle!!”

  I closed my eyes and bit my lower lip, clenching my leg muscles, trying to fight off the intense feeling against my most intimate exposed—spent— area. The pleasure now turned into that sharp pinching feeling and I didn’t think I could make it.

  Breathe.

  His voice flashed through my mind.

  I inhaled and exhaled against the sensation.

  I looked at the timer and didn’t think I could make it. Suddenly, the vibration escalated to another level and I cried out, all alone. I watched the seconds pass and couldn’t take the sensation any longer.

  “Oxford!” I cried out. “I said Oxford!!!!”

  Please come back and turn this off!

  “Fuck!”

  Tears began to well in my lower eye-lids as I lay back enduring the vibration over my sensitive clitoris. My body longed to be released so badly but couldn’t. My head turned to side to side and I called out the safe word in a whisper but he was not there.

  I gritted my teeth and breathed deeply trying to think about anything but now...think about surgery...think about...studying...think about—

  That buzzing that won’t stop and I couldn’t escape.

  Fuck.

  I felt the slickness in my inner-walls and my swollen lips take in the intensity of the feeling like a giant embrace, like it had an inner intelligence of its own and knew something I didn’t. Buzzing, buzzing, buzzing, buzzing, until finally the most crazy feeling I’d ever experienced in my life surfaced from my pinky toes and raised all the way to my head, the deepest, most intense rising orgasm of my life.

  The pain subsided and pleasure swept over my body like thick molasses. The tears released.

  Ohhhhhhhhhhh.....

  Ohhhhhh...my...how was this even possible? I’d never had more than three orgasms in a row. I felt the waves of orgasm deeper and deeper and then rise to a higher high as that vibration now felt mind numbing against my entire mound. I lay there in a catatonic sex-crazed state receiving the level of pleasure unknown to me.

  I bucked wildly, as high as I could while being strapped to the bed. I cried out as chills flooded my body and my pussy soaked in every movement of the vibrator’s power.

  Buzzing, buzzing, buzzing...

  “Ohhhhhhhhhhh”

  Just as she was growing acclimated to the power of the level and the electrifying attention across her entire being, and as I cried out once more, Kyle appeared with a smile on his face as the vibrator’s level dropped a few levels to a lighter sensation and my entire body begged for more. For more!

  I cried out because I was just about to have my release and now my body shivered and quaked while my head hit the pillow again.

  “Ugh!!!”

  My head shot up again as well as my hips and began to buck against the want as if I could press harder against the sensation, then maybe I could make it to my beautiful grand release.

  I bucked more and more and more, growing impatient and desperate, needy, hot until the vibration turned higher and higher and higher until I exploded.

  My pussy got what she wanted.

  I cried out as my jaw hung open and everything felt hazy. Nothing else mattered except the deep orgasm that once begged to be released.

  “You look so damn hot right now.”

  “Ahhhhhh....ahhhhhh.....!!!” I cried out as my entire body feels the fiery pleasure, and just as I thought I was nearing the end, he lowered the intensity down to the lowest, lowest, lowest and I cried out, a squeak, a high pitched cry as I’m brought to the beginnings of the highest most intense orgasm of my life.

  I tried to reach for him but I can’t because I’m restrained...and I love it.

  Ahhhhhhhh...

  My body finally found the sweet release as I lay there soaking it all in.

  Soaking...soaking....soaking....

  I lay in the after math of the never-ending orgasm and felt the aftershock of pleasure of the light vibration against my throbbed swollen clit. Everything was vibrating now and all I could do was continue to bathe in the vibration of every single fiber of my being feeling like it had been lit with electricity. I felt so much vibration still, that my body didn’t even feel or know the vibration was shut off and the toy was removed from my body. Yet I still felt the tingles from head to toe and my heart rate felt as if I ran a fast sprint.

  Adrenaline.

  “Congratulations. You’ve just survived your first forced orgasm session.” He slid his mask up and kissed my lips passionately.

  “I’m sorry for leaving you there, babe. But I knew you were about to receive the orgasm of the century.
I know how these things work.”

  I was still out of breath, in denial, in wonder, in complete awe of the sensations I was feeling that at the slightest touch of his finger down there, I bucked wildly. I didn’t even recognize the way my lips felt down there. He slid his finger up my stomach and felt my heart rate and laughed lightly.

  He then walked along side of me as he slid his fingers down my stomach and lightly, delicately separated my swollen lips and leaned down and lightly, ever so lightly, trailed his tongue delicately over everything swollen and my body clenched and my head tossed. My inner walls clenched as the ribbed of his tongue trailed down from my begging opening and up to my clitoris, reminding me that nothing else in the entire world could ever feel as good as him.

  He slowly licked his fatted tongue over my swollen inner lips and I cried out as at the slightest touch of his tongue, the tightest tap, sent me once again to orgasm and I longed to touch him.

  “I want to touch you!” I say breathlessly. “ I want to—”

  I cried out as he’s in control now and knew just how to send me over the edge, but this time was different. I knew my gem looked like a completely different ball game this time with the swelling. Everything was so sensitive, so swollen as he pointed down with his tongue and slowly, slooooooooooowly did that thing I can’t resist and I lay back and close my eyes and see stars until finally, I was drained of every last energy as my body renders itself a prisoner to another orgasm.

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  “How was it?”

  I was now on his lap, naked and coiled against him in a cozy cocoon.

  “Amazing. Breathtaking. Unlike anything I’ve ever experienced in my life.” I said breathlessly as I felt my body continue to buzz with ripples of after-delight. My heart rate was still elevated and I inhaled a fresh breath and exhaled slowly as I looked into his face.

  “I thought you’d like it.”

  “Some bed. Whoever created it is something else.”

  A sudden change of demeanor swept across his face, a look that read that he was found out.

  “Something else huh?”

  “Yeah...” I sat up and inspected his change of demeanor further.

  “I...I designed the device.” He finally said.

  “You did?” I’m pretty sure my jaw could have hit the floor had there not been an actually jaw bone to keep it in place.

  At first with the daring confession, I was proud of him, and thought it to be sexy. I mean, come on, a man who designs something purely to bring satisfaction to a woman.

  His woman.

  But he didn’t have just a woman.

  And then I couldn’t help the sudden rising surge of jealousy bubbling inside and oh, it was brewing alright. It was ready to rise up and spew out. It was about to flow out of me like hot lava destroying anything and everything in its sight. It was best to snap shut and not say anything.

  I mean, sure I felt jealous of the other girls he’d been with but the jealously didn’t feel anything like this, like what I was feeling now. I felt suffocated. The fact that he had this device especially designed for other women’s pleasure. This meant he’d seen other women in the same position that I was in. It wasn’t anything special, new or unique. Was there anything special we would be able to do together that he hadn’t already done with someone else?

  The reality of this all fell like heaping coals, settling very unpleasantly in the pit of my stomach. This ominous realization left me feeling achy, lonely, confused. Sad.

  But, what I couldn’t keep shut vocally, now manifested in the pouring of major tears.

  “Hey,...hey...don’t cry. What’s wrong? Shhh...” He raked his fingers through my hair and down my bare back. This very act made me want to cover up immediately and hide my nakedness from him.

  A first.

  “I know it can get pretty intense at times, the orgasms, and sometimes it releases emotional blocks and surges so maybe that’s what you’re feeling. Just let it out.” He continued to rub small circles around my back as he studied my face for further insight.

  I then buried my head into his chest and started sobbing and I couldn’t help it.

  He ran his fingers through my hair.

  The quiet salty air tickled my skin and I could hear the faintest of sex music still blazing away in the home.

  “Do you want to go back inside? Maybe get a bite to eat? Maybe that will help.”

  I shook my head no.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “I want to go home now.”

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  “You want to what?”

  “Go...home.” I sobbed and fought hard for breaths. The intense beats layering the sexy music blaring from the home gelled in my ears, causing me to zone out under the hypnotic spell. The swirling, vibing pulses of the synthesizer swelled to the climax, pouring waves of intense bass notes. All I could do was stay in the daze of an emotional mess.

  “Whoa...look at me.”

  His soft palms were on the sides of my cheeks, the touch doing nothing to me. I felt like I had ingested a form of paralyzing medicine, and all I could do was sit there. It felt like one of those dreams where you were trying to speak but nothing comes out. Where you’re trying all your might to run, but you can’t. I was a mess.

  His dark eyes searched mine, but my drug induced-like daze wouldn’t connect with him, and instead, I looked into the glass house. The erotic scenes. Naked people. Flashes of lights. Couples engaging in erotic pleasure just as I had been engaged in moments before. Yet, now I sat feeling robbed of something. I couldn’t figure it out, but I felt numb. Disconnected. I couldn’t bear to look at him. But I couldn’t tell him how I felt. I didn’t know how I felt. I just...wanted to run away. Go home. It’s too intense. All of it.

  “I don’t understand. Can you talk to me here?”

  I continued to look down at my bare thighs.

  “What happened? Talk to me. Come on.”

  I exhaled out a breath, searching for words. For something. I owed him something.

  “You designed this device.”

  “And that freaks you out? You seemed to enjoy it.” His arms were on the side of me as he leaned in. He was inches from my eyes as he looked deep within my eyes. I felt chills being so close to him. My body on fire, wanting him, so badly wanting him. But that was just it. I didn’t just want his body. I wanted us. I wanted emotionally more and that’s the reason for my breakdown.

  I think.

  “It’s not that.” I shook my head, the tears welling, up waiting for their release. I slowly blinked, releasing the heavy, heavy tears crashing down my face. I took a quick breath before I began the crying phase where short breaths, sniffles, and more tears nearing the brink of hyperventilating sounded.

  “Other women.” He took a step back, and crossed his arms, and studied the situation as he threw me a bone of suggestion.

  Yes. Other fucking women.

  You fucking women!

  Other women receiving pleasure from the device you created, while you probably watched.

  I nodded, showing some sort of sign that yes, this was the reason for my shut down, my melt down, my moment.

  In an instant, he wrapped his arms around me, whispering, “Baby. Come here.” I let his strong chest cradle my faint head as his warm familiar arms wrapped tighter around me. Those strong arms that knew just how to work me. Those strong arms that had held countless of others.

  I pulled away from him. I could see the hurt across his face as his fists balled up. He clenched his jaw before dropping it open. I knew he couldn’t believe what was happening.

  I let my crazy thoughts rest for a moment as I looked out into the waves crashing behind the infinity pool. Maybe I would calm down if I took a few deep breaths and zoned out. Maybe this view of the ocean would calm me down. But it didn’t. I felt anger inside my chest, welling up to my throat.

  Anger at being such a stupid girl who would fly to Maui and get swept away. I told myself I w
ouldn’t do this! Get into this predicament!

  “I thought it wouldn’t bother me; I’ve been fighting it. But it does bother me. It bothers me a great deal. You with other women. This. Whatever we’re doing. I can’t...I can’t...I can’t do it!”

  I was now inhaling and exhaling between my hiccups and sobs. I was really letting myself feel everything I had been denying.

  "Truth is, I'm a jealous person. Especially of hearing about all of those women, and I can't help but feel that I'm just your kitten of the week. I can't help but feel that there will be others after me, and as much as I want to just throw caution to the wind, I can't. My heart feels too much to keep playing like this. I can’t just ‘do sex’”.

  He didn't say anything but looked down.

  “McKenzie, I'm different now.”

  “But you know what, we barely know each other. How am I to know that? How am I to trust that?”

  “That's just it. You have to trust me. This is real for me.”

  The tears poured down my face, my view completely blurred as I looked down the ground.

  “Please look at me—”

  I looked up at him and saw a very tight, concerned face.

  “I care about you. I know it's only been a weekend, but you were all I thought about since I saw you the first night months ago at the club. I risked a lot to come and see you again. But it was worth it.”

  I continued to sit being unresponsive, staring at him with no emotion showing on my face. He waited for a beat for me to say something, to change my demeanor but nothing shifted. I was stone cold.

  “Shit,...” He rubbed his fingers through his hair. “Fuck.” He started pacing. “I should have known this might have been too intense. It’s my own fucking fault.”

  “I can handle it. And I did. I liked it...”

  “Then like us.”

  He turned on the soles of his heels and pleaded as he ripped his mask off. “Don’t...don’t you like us?” His big blue eyes pleaded, full of emotion. I wondered in a nanosecond if he cared that his identity was now on full display to any onlookers from inside the mansion. But I guess me staying was entirely more important. It was. Look at him. He was desperate for me to stay. A part of me was, too. But it wasn’t brave enough to fight my ego. My pride. My fear.

 

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