Hope Under Mistletoe (Seasons of Hope Book 1)

by Patch, Jessica R.

  “You never seem to fail in the company department, Knox.”

  “Well, talking isn’t really necessary.” He caught his off-color remark and swore under his breath, then berated himself for that. “I’m—I’m sorry, Eden. I—I have no business being around you. You were right to tell Nathan I was a bad influence on him. I was. I am.” He rushed to the door.

  Eden caught him and placed her hand over his. “Knox,” she whispered. “I appreciate your gesture. You were honest. But Nathan made his own choices. And I owe you an apology.”

  Knox’s hand, covered by Eden’s, warmed to the bone. “Doubt that.”

  “I might have been overprotective of Nathan and…insecure. I was always afraid that the time he spent with you would lead him to another girl, and he’d dump me for someone…willing to do what I wasn’t. Not that he wanted me to do something but…” She blew a strand of hair from her eyes. “Men. They’re—”

  “Pigs.” Nathan would have been a world-class schmuck if he had ever walked away from Eden. So delicate and…sacred—there was that word again.

  Eden chuckled. “I was going to say one-track-minded at times. And I was afraid he’d end up getting hurt too. I know your penchant for fast cars and—”

  “Fast women?”

  She squeezed his hand. “Turned out you didn’t have to be in the driver’s seat for him to get hurt. I’m sorry. Forgive me?”

  Forgive. Her. He opened his mouth, closed it. If she knew the complete truth, she might not be so quick to forgive. If he told her, he’d lose more than he was willing to pay. He balled his fist to keep from caressing her cheek.

  “Water under the bridge.” He swallowed down a guilty lump. “It’s late, and I need to get back to Ophelia. She’s probably going stir-crazy.”

  “Under the bridge.” Eden glanced over the entryway light. “Or should we say, under the mistletoe.”

  Knox chuckled, but his insides were twisting like pretzels. “Asking for forgiveness under the mistletoe. Would that be like kissing and making up?”

  Eden licked her bottom lip, focused on the mistletoe and darted a glance to his eyes…his mouth. “Maybe. Strange tradition, isn’t it? I wasn’t even going to put it up, but Eli found it in the box.”

  Knox did his best to avoid fixating on her full, wide lips. His tainted mouth had no business sampling something as lovely as hers. But she was inspecting him in a way that might be misconstrued as an invitation. Which was inconceivable. She’d made that clear. Hadn’t she?

  “It’s late,” he said.

  “Mom,” Eli said, rubbing sleepy eyes.

  “Go to bed, babe. I’ll be there in a minute.”

  He nodded and looked up. “Hey, you’re standing under the mistletoe. You gots to kiss.”

  “Oh…um…Knox was just leaving. Tell him goodnight and thank you for helping us.”

  “Thanks, Knox. Now you gots to kiss my mom.”

  Knox’s stomach vibrated with nerves and longing. He cleared his throat, leaned down and placed a chaste kiss on her cheek near the corner of her mouth. No way could he control himself if he’d tasted her lips. Chaste. Never in a million years would he have used that word to describe a kiss coming from him.

  Eden blinked several times, and her cheeks turned red. “Um…goodnight.” She fumbled for the door handle and swung it open. “We’ll be in early tomorrow. If you want to come to service…” She shivered and peeked at the mistletoe again.

  “Appreciate the offer. Enjoy the tree.” He stepped outside and basked in the freezing-butt-cold temperatures. He needed to cool off.

  After backing out of her driveway, he glanced in his rearview. Eden perched on her stoop with the outside light on, watching as he drove away.

  He might have gotten away with a peck, but Eden Snow would never let him kiss her—not the way he longed to. She’d never look at him like she’d looked at Nathan, with adoration, respect, and overwhelming love.

  At least she was considering him a friend of sorts since he’d opened up his bar to the church. She assumed it was in memory of Nathan and the friendship they’d shared. How wrong she was. He’d done it for her, to be near her. Right this second, he regretted ever allowing Eden inside. Regretted coming over and spending the evening just talking with the woman—and liking it. It only made it abundantly clear she could never be his.

  But what if he could be a better man? Would she be able to accept his risqué, at best, past? If she knew everything about him, if he revealed the entire truth, would she take back her apologies and forgiveness and slam the door shut in his face and on his heart?

  No way could he handle that. Not now that he’d cracked his life open and let her in a step. And the kid? Such a good boy. A boy who needed a father. A man to lead him. Knox didn’t have the first clue how to be or do either. He rolled the windows down and let the bitter air blow some sense into him.

  Eden and Eli Snow were off limits. They needed a man like Gabriel Brookson. Pastor. Good. Holy. Untainted.

  Worthy.

  ***

  After the Sunday service, Eden chatted with Audrey near the side entrance door of The Penalty Box. The tubs of coats had been given out, and the order of candles with foil holders had arrived on Friday. Knox had put the boxes in the storage area, and the Christmas baskets had been delivered to needy families.

  Knox, who hadn’t shown up for service. Knox, who had gently kissed her cheek in a way that shouldn’t have sent off a wave of wild hormones, but did.

  Knox, who she desperately prayed would place his trust in Jesus Christ.

  Even though he hadn’t attended service this morning, a few of his congregation had. It had been a powerful and beautiful message on birthing hope.

  Eden had hopes her father would reclaim his faith and put away the bottle. She hoped God would answer her prayers for him and Knox.

  “…and I feel bad about it but I couldn’t help myself.” Audrey fell back against the wall dramatically. “I’m going straight to hell, aren’t I?”

  “No.” That was a pat answer for whatever she’d done. Audrey was most certainly not going to hell.

  “You have no idea what I even said, do you?”

  Eden grinned. “No.”

  Audrey shook her head. “You coming over later?”

  “I’m not. Eli wants to practice his moves so I’m taking him to Pine Lake. Got his goal and gear in the truck. You want to come?”

  Audrey’s blue eyes shimmered and that big lovable smile Eden adored cracked wide open. “As much as I’d love to freeze my behind off watching Eli’s moves, my comfy couch and kitties are calling. If you get done before too late, come by and I’ll make hot cocoa.”

  “Deal.” Eden gave her a kiss on her cheek.

  Gabe ventured down the steps and put a hand on Eden’s shoulder. “You seemed distant during service. Everything okay?”

  “Yeah. I was hoping Knox would make it.” She shrugged.

  “Me too.” Smiling at Audrey, he continued, “Eli says a group is heading out to the lake to ice skate. I have nothing to do this afternoon. Mind if I tag along?”

  Eden caught Betsy Davis whispering with a few other women. That huddle was sure to be ripe with gossip. Of course, Betsy always fell back on the whole ‘If it’s true it’s not gossip’ motto. “Not at all. We’re eating a potluck lunch here. Stay.” Had Knox eaten? “I’ll be right back.” She scrambled up the outdoor stairs to his place and knocked.

  He opened up on the second one.

  “You hungry?” Eden inhaled the fresh shower scent. His hair was still damp, but he wore a black and white flannel shirt with a black t-shirt under it and low-hanging jeans.

  “Maybe.”

  She crossed her arms. “You don’t know if you’re hungry or not?”

  “I am, but I’m not sure I’m up for hanging out with a bunch of church people.”

  “You up for hanging out with me?” She raised a brow, hoping to trap him into a yes. If he spent time with the congregation, he migh
t see they weren’t as bad as he imagined.

  He rubbed his stubbly chin. “I might be able to manage that.”

  “Might?” She tsked him. “Not the way to get on a lady’s good side.”

  “No?” A sinister brow peaked. “And what, Eden Snow, is the way to a lady’s good side? I can’t say I know too many ladies. And the one I do, I treat terribly.”

  “Did I say I forgave you for that?”

  He narrowed his eyes and cocked his head. “Yes.”

  “Then quit bringing it up. I forgave you. You forgive you. That’s how it works. Now. Food. Do you want some?” She tapped her foot and crossed her arms.

  “What will it entail?” he asked, wariness lacing every syllable.

  “Accepting an invitation when one is extended first off, and then of course making conversation which includes more than one word answers and grunts.” She gave him a take-that look.

  He tapped his washboard fit stomach. “Then I’m afraid I’m so full I couldn’t eat another bite.”

  She pouted. Wasn’t the way to getting a man to say yes through his stomach? No, the way to a man’s heart was through his stomach. Eden wasn’t trying to get at that. “Suit yourself but Alma Wadsworth makes the best homemade chicken and dumplings you ever put in your mouth and apple pie that will make you cry.”

  “That good huh?” He leaned against the door frame. Ophelia poked her head out and sniffed. She seemed to want pie.

  “Don’t take my word for it.” She rubbed Ophelia’s head. “And we’re going out to Pine Lake. Eli wants to practice with some of his friends. You skate, right?” She bit her bottom lip when his eyes grew wide, mock indignation twisted his face.

  “I’m like a fish in water when in my skates.” He folded his arms, his shirt fitting over muscled biceps.

  Stop staring, Eden!

  “I’d have to see it to believe it.” She lifted a shoulder and started down the stairs.

  “No faith,” he called.

  Eden paused and turned mid-stair. “What about you, Knox? Where’s your faith?”

  “Chicken and dumplings. Give me ten minutes.” He closed the door, but Eden caught the pained expression on his face.

  God, help him to believe in what he can’t see.

  And if he could help her with the odd sensations she had around Knox the last few days, that’d be nice too. Eden had no business having fuzzy feelings for a man who not only openly confessed no faith or the desire to have any, but owned a bar for crying out loud. He was a wild cat. Saw that firsthand.

  Eden wanted more than that. She wanted conversation. Dreaming together. Laughing. She longed to be touched again. Loved. She longed to touch and love. But it wouldn’t come from a meaningless moment. It would come with a wedding band from a man who shared her beliefs.

  Marriage? Was she ready to move on toward that? What would that even feel like—to have a man, who wasn’t Nathan, touch her?

  Her stomach roiled and she shook off the frightening thoughts.

  Eli needed to practice skating. For now, she was a mom, daughter, leader, servant. Everything else would have to wait. Until she found the right man.

  At the bottom of the stairs, Gabriel caught her eye and smiled. She returned it.

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  Knox regretted his decision, but he was almost certain he’d never be able to tell Eden Snow, “no.” Nor did he want to if it would get her to smile and tease. And she’d been right. That first bite of Alma’s pie really did make him want to cry. One thing church people got right was potluck.

  The snow had finally stopped falling—for now. More winter storms were headed their way, but for the moment the sun shone, and the wind was still. Almost two feet of snow and a frozen lake. Perfect day for skating. Someone had brought music, and the band Sister Hazel blared “The Little Drummer Boy.” Knox could get with that.

  After lacing his rockered blades—man he missed them—he teetered at the edge of the lake, getting a renewed feel for them. Eli sidled up beside him. “Sweet skates.”

  “Pros.” Knox winked.

  “Mom put the goal out.”

  “Way to state the obvious, kid.” He pulled Eli’s beanie over his face and slid out onto the ice. Familiar. Better than a smoke after a big dinner.

  Eli pushed the hat back above his eyes and grinned. “Payback, ya know.”

  “So I hear. Gotta catch me first.” In a fluid motion, he coasted backwards across the lake. Eli held his stick in one hand and came after him full force. Nice form. But no match for a mature skater. Knox slid to the right, bobbing and weaving between leisure skaters, around the goal Eden had set out, glancing back occasionally to see if Eli was still on his trail.

  He was.

  Knox angled his shoulders downward and worked his legs side to side gaining motion; he spun around, skating in reverse, letting the winter air pelt his face, turning it raw. The smell of ice, pine, and hot chocolate invigorated him. He pushed harder, faster. Eli’s little legs pumped to keep up, and puffs of air plumed like smoke between his pink cheeks.

  “I thought you were going to catch me,” he teased as he slowed.

  “Dude, man, I’m trying.” He pressed on. Knox studied his form as he pushed forward.

  “Slide that right leg out further, hunch over, but keep your body centered. You’ll pick up pace.” Knox brushed his right leg out, pushing off the ice, using it as a springboard to propel him faster.

  Eli followed suit, eyes bugging out as he increased his speed to twice as fast. “Sweet.”

  “Uh huh.” They skated beside each other around the lake, in comfortable silence. Eden watched from the bank, bundled up with a quilt and a cup of hot chocolate. The preacher man hung next to her, sipping a cup as well. Skates on his feet and hers. Something green from the pit of his stomach rose up in Knox. Then the preacher man snuggled closer and shared some of Eden’s quilt.

  You know he’s better for her than you. She deserves a guy like that.

  Like an episode of Tom and Jerry, the good voice perched on his right shoulder battled with the dastardly one on the left.

  The guy on the left won.

  “Hey sport, why don’t you do three more laps, take a hot chocolate break and then I’ll teach you some shoulder deking. You’ll score that goal yet.”

  “Really?” Eli’s eyes lit up and he threw his hands up in triumph. “Score!” He spun around facing Knox, saluted, then took to his task.

  Knox increased his speed then skidded to a stop, intentionally icing the area near the preacher. He jumped back at the spray. Inside, Knox chuckled. “Eli’s just learned how to increase his speed.” He eyed the preacher. Bet he couldn’t teach the kid that.

  “I saw.” Eden sipped her hot chocolate. “I also saw you showing off your mad skills.”

  “Well, you did insult my ability earlier by asking if I could skate. Had to save my reputation. I see you have a pair on. Can you?” He gave her his best smirk, knowing it wouldn’t work on her but wanting to try all the same.

  Eden lowered her eyebrows. “I can hold my own, but I’m not Olympics material.”

  “Can I steal you away from the good preacher a few minutes then? See what ya got.” He did his best not to shoot daggers at the man standing with a smile on his face—which infuriated Knox all the more. Even the preacher knew Knox didn’t have a shot in Hades with Eden and wasn’t worried.

  “I’ll hold your cup and hog the quilt until you get back.”

  “You skate?” Knox nodded his head toward Gabe’s skates.

  “Like Eden, I can skate but I don’t do tricks. I’m from Florida.” He raised his glass as if he were toasting to something and took a drink.

  Too bad a gator hadn’t offed him before his move here.

  Eden stepped onto the ice. “Understand I don’t plan to chase you around the lake. I know my limits.”

  Knox grabbed her gloved hand. “That’s one thing I’d never expect you to do.” Tugging her beside him, she wobbled, and he steadied h
er by holding her upper arm. “Sorry. I thought you were ready.”

  She blew a breath from her lips, a billow of chilled air followed. Knox started again, but slower. Eden slid into place next to him, gripping his hand tighter than he anticipated.

  “It’s a great day for skating. I’m glad I came. It’s been awhile for me.”

  Eden remained silent, the tip of her tongue touching her top lip, as she focused on the ice before her.

  Utterly adorable. She’s killing me slowly.

  Knox increased his pace, and she wobbled again, her left arm flailed to the side, then she squealed.

  He whirled around in front of her, grabbed her other flailing arm and drew her closer to him, steadying her. “I thought you said you could hold your own.”

  “I can,” she insisted. The wind blew her hair and her vanilla scent into his face, spiking his pulse.

  “Okay,” he quipped and released his hold on her. Eden teetered like a Jenga game about to topple. Her right leg slipped out from under her. In a single sweep, Knox hurled himself behind her, buoying her. His arms snaked around her waist as he parted his legs to keep them upright and untangled. “Great job. Well done.”

  “Sarcasm doesn’t become you.” She huffed.

  “I beg to differ.” Knox shifted to her side, keeping his left hand on her waist and holding her right arm with his hand, guiding her. “All right, Eden, you’ve got to do better. Right leg out.” He shepherded her leg with his foot. “Left…right...”

  She obeyed, and they circled the lake. Knox searched for the preacher. Still watching, but he wasn’t the only one. Several members of the church had huddled, inspecting. A few young couples skated, engrossed in laughter and conversation. Eli and his friends were doing slap shots into the goal.

  “How am I doing? Better?”

  Knox glided in front of her, let go of her hands, and put a foot of distance between them. The last thing he wanted was for gossip to spread about her cozying up with the town’s playboy. He might be doing them a favor by letting them use his bar, but he’d always be the stained sinner in their eyes.

  Eden’s smile lit his insides. “I’m doing it. And not teetering.”