by Marie Harte
“Ah, okay.” Maria sat back down and tried to clear her thoughts. Those were positive signals. Now she had to have the boyfriend talk. But not in front of everyone.
She finished the meal, not sure of what anyone said, though she thought she’d managed to nod and smile when appropriate. Before she knew it, Mike had whisked her back to her home. On the way, she texted Olivia to find another place to stay tonight.
Fine, Olivia texted back. I’ll hang with Brad, but you owe me.
Relieved to have time to handle Mike, Maria let him lead her inside.
“We need to talk,” they both said at the same time.
Maria thought that sounded ominous. He must have thought the same because his expression seemed grim. “You first,” he offered.
She nodded, praying she was making the right decision. Sure she’d tricked him a little and been a bit sneaky, but not to hurt him in any way. She felt that coming clean, admitting her feelings, was the right move. She prayed. Hoped. Crossed her fingers.
Maria took a deep breath then ran her hands through her long hair.
“What’s wrong?” Mike asked.
“I want us to be a couple,” she blurted.
“Ah, okay.”
“You know. Boyfriend and girlfriend. Exclusive. Just us together.”
“Right.”
She hurried on. “I mean, I know I wanted us to be casual. But being with you, it makes me always want to be with you. Not anyone else, just you.”
“I agree.”
“And it’s so easy to be with you. I don’t have to try. I can just be myself, and I’m happy. I mean, I’m happy working at my mom’s store. I don’t need my own coffee shop like Olivia, or some big-letter degree studying some subject I couldn’t care less about. I’m happy with my life.”
“I am too.”
“So I think it’s time I moved on to something a bit more permanent. Not trying to freak you out or anything, but I don’t see why we can’t be boyfriend and girlfriend.” She ran out of breath.
Mike laughed and pulled her into his arms. “Maria, I feel the same way.”
She gaped at him. “You do?”
“Baby, I missed you like crazy this weekend. I didn’t want you anywhere near that loser you were eating lunch with.”
“Bobby’s not a loser,” she said absently, wanting to pinch herself to see if this was real.
“And if Brad looks at you like he wants to do you just one more time, brother or no brother, he’s going to be eating out of a straw when I knock out all his teeth.”
She stared at him. “I didn’t freak you out?”
“Not at all.”
She felt so happy she wanted to burst. So she hugged him until he gasped, begging for air.
“Oh, Mike. I love you so much.”
He pulled away from her, his eyes wide, but before he could say it back, she kissed him. The kiss turned hot in a heartbeat, and then she was ripping off his shirt and taking dirty, nasty advantage of him. She worked her way down his body, not letting him do more than moan her name. She had his pants open and her mouth on his cock.
“Baby, oh fuck, that’s it. Good girl,” he whispered and pushed her hair back to watch as she blew him.
It didn’t take him long before he came down her throat. Nor did she have to ask him to return the favor. He stripped her naked and went down on her right there in her living room.
They fell asleep in a tangle of limbs then woke hours later and did it all over again. She’d never been so happy in her life. If things went right, she knew they could make it to the altar before Mike had to ship out again.
God, what had she done to deserve this? She didn’t know and didn’t care. She just hugged her man tightly to her before they trudged to her room to fall asleep. Together.
What did I do to deserve this? Mike couldn’t sleep. He couldn’t control his hard-on, damn the woman. And he couldn’t figure out how to extricate himself from the situation he’d led himself into.
He’d been fine with all of it…right up until the part where she’d said, “I love you.” It was the death knell on any new relationship, and he now felt pressured to say it back. To feel it. Though he had a feeling he already felt more for her than affection, the tension that hadn’t existed between them now festered. They’d get married, have kids, she’d get tired of him always being away. They’d fight, make up, divorce. He’d have to struggle just to get visitation… The nightmares plaguing half his friends invaded until he had a hard time doing anything but panicking.
He eased out from under her and saw her frown when she reached for him in her sleep.
Fuck. He had to figure a way out of this before she got hurt. Hell, before he got hurt. Dating was all well and good, but start throwing around “I love you’s” and women got all marriage-minded. He’d been there, done that a few years ago with a woman who’d supposedly wanted nothing more than casual fun—at first. The subsequent breakup had been ugly.
How many times had his buddies warned him not to get serious so fast? Marriage brought on kids. No more date nights. No more traveling anywhere at the drop of a hat. No more hot sex.
He cringed just thinking about it. Hell. He was only thirty-one. Far too young to even think about saying I Do. It wasn’t Maria. Any woman at this stage of his life saying the L word would freak him out. But if he told her that now, she’d be hurt. The last thing he wanted to do to her was hurt her.
Especially since his own emotions for the woman confused the fuck out of him. On the edge of all that anxiety about her confession of love came a warmth, a joy so deep and pure he didn’t know what to do about it. She loved him. God, was he even worthy of that? So selfish of him to be so damn pleased, wanting to keep that love all to himself while wanting to run for the hills at the same time.
Feeling like a heel and not sure what to do about it, he recalled that he had a military exercise coming up that would provide him some space if nothing else. A few days spent away from Maria, in the field, would help. Now he just had to keep his distance while faking the good boyfriend bit for a few more days.
He was gone before she woke the next morning, but he’d left a note and made her coffee. He had to be at work early Monday morning. So a valid excuse. With the field exercise nearing, staying late after work also made sense.
Since his parents had returned, he’d moved in with Brad. Now spending his nights at his brother’s, he didn’t feel comfortable having sex in the next room. Same with Maria’s place. Their lack of intimacy would have given him one more reasonable excuse for distance…if Olivia hadn’t been such an understanding sister and moved in temporarily with Brad, giving Mike and Maria alone time.
A stronger man would have kept his distance while he got his emotions under control. But anytime he was around her, his dick led his brain.
Tonight, while he pounded inside her hot body, his heart told him to have a firm, decisive talk with her. But his balls protested that something fierce, needing to share with the woman all that he had inside.
“Please, Mike. Oh yes.” She moaned as he fucked her into an orgasm, clamping hard around him until he couldn’t hold it anymore and climaxed with her.
“Damn.” He couldn’t stop coming, shuddering while the woman owned him. Her pussy worked him into a weakened state, and when he withdrew, he slumped over her, accepting her hug because he was too weak to move. Once again those awkward, confining emotions swamped him, exhausting him even more. He worried like hell he might love her back. Christ, what a mess.
She rolled them over until she lay on top of him. He kept his eyes closed, pretending fatigue. Not so much a pretense considering she’d sucked the life out of him.
“You’re amazing.” She sighed and put her head on his chest.
Too comfortable to move, loving the woman too fast too soon, and unable to figure out a nice way to gain that distance he needed, he made a noncommittal hmm and closed his eyes again. He’d go in a bit, but not yet. Not until she’d drifted off.
>
Maria knew the moment he fell asleep. The faker had waited her out, but she’d been craftier, waiting him out. What the hell had happened between them? It was like the minute they’d agreed to be together, he’d emotionally retreated. She’d seen the cautious way he handled her smile, the way he continued to steer clear of her whenever possible. It hurt. More, it pissed her off.
For years she’d been after him. But little Maria had apparently never been woman enough for big Mike. Then, finally, she’d gotten him to see the real her, and after confessing how she felt, taking a huge risk, he’d rejected her without saying the words. Everything with Mike happened on his schedule, following his rules, and it wasn’t fair.
But you pushed it. You told the truth when you could have kept quiet, her conscience whispered. Yeah, but for a guy apparently not wanting a relationship, he sure the hell hadn’t protested her going down on him, had he? It had taken her a little while to notice, but even the best sex in the world couldn’t disguise a skittish “boyfriend.”
He’d been leading up to some stupid field exercise he had to be a part of. She planned to have a long talk with him when he returned. If she had the patience to still be here anymore. She’d spent fourteen freakin’ years waiting for Mike to love her. And when she had the courage to tell him how she felt, to think he might feel it back, he pushed her away.
A sign, it had to be. Time to stop frittering away her affections on someone who didn’t care. “Isn’t worthy,” she muttered, trying not to cry.
She shouldn’t have pursued him after all this time.
Yeah, and he shouldn’t have succumbed. Not like I seduced him in his parents’ house. “Let’s see where this kiss takes us,” my ass.
Not able to deal with much more, she left him a note for him in her bedroom and slept in Olivia’s room. When she woke the next morning, he was gone.
Chapter Ten
Mike spent the next six days watching his Marines train. He’d done his best to focus on work, but for the life of him, he had trouble sleeping without feeling Maria in his arms. Hell of it was he missed her. He was glad she’d been restless that first night, and not wanting to wake him, had slept in the other room. But after so many days in the field, forcibly away from her, he found himself thinking about her all the time.
Spending the days away from her gave him a fresh perspective, as did talking to a few of his friends. Not everyone had a rough marriage. His commanding officer had been married to the love of his life for twenty years. His own parents were happy. And a few of the company commanders with them had long-term girlfriends they treasured.
Mike wondered if he’d simply had a case of cold feet. Did her confession that she loved him really mean he had to say it back? It wasn’t as if they’d exchanged vows or even planned on moving in together yet. And he’d freaked—because he loved her right back.
By the week’s end, he felt like a complete idiot. Brad had been right. He had a bad habit of bailing when things got serious. His previous girlfriends had tried but hadn’t connected with him. He hadn’t let them. But Maria was different, and he knew it.
Hell, she hadn’t even bugged him during his field training. Not one call or text. She’d given him plenty of space, and he hadn’t even asked for it.
He went back to Brad’s, cleaned up, then bought flowers from a gift shop on the way to Maria’s. When he arrived, Olivia met him at the door.
“Well, well.” She glared at him. “If it isn’t the hometown heartbreaker. What the hell, Mike?”
He blinked. “Huh?’
“You couldn’t let her down easy or anything, could you? The girl has loved you forever, and you just don’t get it. Sad to realize my brother’s a Grade-A asshole.”
He pushed through the door before she could shut him out. “What are you talking about? Where’s Maria?”
Olivia didn’t often argue with him, and she rarely used that disappointed look she currently wore. “How could you?”
“What the fuck are you talking about?”
Brad appeared from the kitchen and gave him a disdainful onceover. “Why are you here?”
“Why are you?” Where was Maria?
“Well, after you broke your poor girlfriend’s heart, she left,” Brad said. “I’m still trying to talk Olivia off the ledge. Little Sis is threatening to go to Mom. I say we should just shoot you.”
“What? Maria left?” Alarm threatened to overwhelm him, so he swallowed it down, taking control. “Tell me what’s going on.”
“I have no fucking idea,” Olivia snapped. His sister never swore. Even Brad stared at her in shock. “She seemed so happy. She’s been in love with you since she laid eyes on you. But after nearly fifteen years she was just about to throw in the towel on your sorry ass. Then you showed up and seduced her into loving you all over again.”
“It was mutual,” he growled, upset Maria wasn’t here.
Olivia sighed. “Yeah, well, she apparently loved you too much. She thought you were into her. You kissed her in front of Mom and Dad, even warned Brad off. Then…what happened? She tells you she loves you, and it’s too much? I’ve gone over it with her, but I’m drawing a blank. Brad tells me you fell hard for her, but you’re treating her like shit.”
“I am not.”
“What do you call screwing her then avoiding her? Because that’s low.”
Trust Maria to share their intimate details with his sister. Shit.
“Dude, that is low,” Brad agreed. “Why are you here? Another booty call?”
“Shut up. Where is she?”
Olivia huffed. “Not here. Visiting relatives somewhere in Georgia, I think. She’ll be gone for a while, but I don’t see why you should care.”
Realizing Maria had been aware of his turmoil and confused—and hurt—about why he’d acted the way he had made him feel lower than pond scum. “Hell.”
“Yeah, that’s where I was thinking you belonged too.” Brad nodded. “Mike, what the fuck?”
“I don’t know.” He rubbed his eyes with one hand and put the flowers on a nearby table. “I panicked. Hell. We’d just agreed to the whole boyfriend label when she surprised me by springing the L word. Then, well, we have chemistry, okay? It’s hard for me to say no to her.”
“Funny, because I think she heard it just fine.” Olivia shook her head. “Pretty much the worst thing you can do to a woman is share her bed then dump her. Couldn’t you have just told her how you feel?”
“No, he couldn’t,” Brad said. “Asswipe doesn’t know, do you?”
“No,” Mike groaned. He sat on Olivia’s couch and leaned his head back, staring at the ceiling. “She scares me shitless. I think about her all the time. I can’t eat. I can’t sleep. I think I love her, but I feel smothered to death at the idea of marriage.”
“She asked you to marry her?” Olivia stared.
“No, but—”
“So where did you get marriage from?” she asked.
“Yeah.” Brad glared at him.
“Love usually precedes marriage. And kids. And divorce,” he added, feeling squirrely about the topic.
“You’re neurotic, you know that?” Brad sighed. “I think this started back when Dana and I broke up.”
“It did not.”
“Yeah, it did. We were close, and it all went wrong. You took it to heart.”
“And you didn’t?” Olivia asked.
Brad looked uncomfortable. “Maybe I did, but this is about him and his issues, not mine.”
“Mike, you’ve always been skittish about your relationships.” Nice of his sister not to sugar-coat it. “Not saying Brad and Dana wrecked you, but it sure didn’t help you get around your fear of being with a woman for longer than a day.”
“Longer than that,” he snapped.
Brad talked over him. “So you finally found a woman who gets you, still loves you after knowing you for years, and you tossed her aside without even giving her a chance.”
“Brad, it’s been three weeks wit
h her, tops. Give me a break.”
“No, it’s been a lot longer than that,” Brad said softly. “Just admit it. You like—no, love—Maria, and it scares you to death. You think no one can measure up to Mom, and you’re afraid to fail at being in a committed relationship. You, big brother, fail at nothing. But this, risking your heart, is a huge deal. There’s no way around getting hurt with someone you love.”
“Shut up, Dr. Phil.”
Olivia stared at Brad, agape. “Wow. That was really insightful. You are intelligent, aren’t you?”
“I keep telling you.” He focused on Mike. “What will it hurt to see where your relationship with Maria goes, really? You let yourself fall the rest of the way in love with the girl—hell, you’re already halfway there. She wasn’t asking you to marry her, at least I don’t think she was.” A glance at Olivia showed her shaking her head. “So take a chance, see where your time with her goes, and then, maybe years later, if you’re still together, walk down the aisle. But stop being such a pussy and take a chance.”
That stung, but Mike felt a huge wave of relief. He’d jumped the gun for sure. Marriage after they’d only just agreed to date exclusively? “I’m a dumbass.”
“And maybe a perpetually single dumbass,” Olivia said. “Maria’s really hurt. You spent a lifetime ignoring her. Then she gave you her heart, and you pretty much dumped on it.”
“How? By avoiding her a little?”
“Michael Cava. Own up, or I lose all respect for you. The woman isn’t dumb. She knows a silent breakup when it comes.”
He pinched the bridge of his nose. “I didn’t break up—”
“She thinks you did, and this time I think she’s really done with you. I don’t know if you’ll have a shot when she gets back.” Olivia looked saddened by that fact, and that worried the crap out of him.
“Wait, you said she’s in Georgia? I’ll make this right.”
Brad shook his head. “She’s a few hundred miles away, bro. Not like you can snap your fingers and be there in five minutes.”