by Regine Abel
Khel and I exchanged a glance, the same improbable dream flickering in his eyes. He squeezed my shoulder in encouragement. I smiled. The clerk returned during Xhar’s instructions. After the speech, he lined us up by the door in the order our pedestals were assigned. The two Primes puffed their chests as they took first and second place. Khel was fifteenth and I stood right behind him.
That earned me a few frowns.
Three of the males after me were less Tainted than I was. As such, they should have a position ahead of me in the lineup. However, I belonged to a noble house, even though my title no longer held any power. I was also cousins with Khel, the heir to one of the greatest houses of Xelix Prime, a Councilor and the General of our army. I believed this higher position in the lineup was in deference to him.
The two most Tainted males I had ever seen held the last places. Dark capillaries covered every inch of their bodies, of their faces. Their naturally grey skin appeared obsidian. I didn’t think anyone could still live with that much toxin coursing through them. Worse still, I couldn’t begin to fathom the kind of pain they must constantly feel from the Taint. One of them winced, his hand flying to his side as if he’d been struck. He shuddered then closed his eyes. Beads of sweat pearled on his forehead as he tried to rein in whatever tormented him.
One of his capillaries ruptured.
He was all but dying before my eyes. The Taint would claim him in a matter of days, maybe even within the next few hours. Once again, it struck me how absurd these proceedings were. Finding a mate was a matter of life or imminent death for these two males. And yet, they were relegated to the far back of the room. Even with fourteen females, the probability of these males being seen by a single female was nil to none. The Tainted in terminal phase should be first in line to at least have a chance.
We waited a few more minutes while the females received their instructions.
“Sehrs,” Advisor Xhar said, “it is time. Good luck, and may the Goddess favor you.”
He opened the door, and we filed in front of the females. It was impressive seeing so many of them staring at us – well, at the Primes and Norms. Cold tendrils of fear crawled over my skin as we approached them. This was shitty moment number three. I never forgot my last Fastening Selection. One of the females retched at the sight of Tainted males. The other females began retching as well in response. It had been soul-crushing. To be swiftly ushered back to the Antechamber and excused from the proceeding sealed it for me.
And now, as we marched forward, the initial enthusiasm of the females waned. Increasingly Tainted males passed before them. I didn’t look at the females, not only because those were the rules but because I feared the disgust that no doubt lurked on their faces. Nevertheless, my stomach lurched when, from the corner of my eye, I saw them shrink away from us. I felt faint, dreading the moment they would retch again. The waves of guilt pouring out of Khel heightened my anxiety. To my eternal relief, the females didn’t become nauseous. Whatever my opinion about the Primes, I silently thanked Whil Dervhen for setting a rather fast pace so this whole parade ended quickly.
We took positions on our respective pedestals, and Advisor Fihn called the Fastening Selection officially open. Some things never changed. The words no sooner left his lips than half the group of females stampeded towards the Prime alcove. As I fought not to roll my eyes at their disgraceful display, I could feel Khel’s amused disdain – his feelings echoing mine.
Thus started the endless shitty moment number four. One entire fucking hour with our Tainted bodies on display for the witnesses in the balcony to no doubt make fun of. Yes, the witnesses since the participating females didn’t bother with our section. One whole hour during which you hoped not to get an urge to sneeze or a sudden itch that desperately needed scratching. We weren’t allowed to do either. Such movements from one male among all others who remained completely still would be construed as an attempt to draw the females’ attention. All this because some male, way back in the day, deliberately used such subterfuge to further his cause.
On the bright side, that gave me an hour to weigh the pros and cons of some of the tech ventures I wanted to invest in. A strong surge of emotions from Khel pulled me out of my musings; shock, hope, and disbelief. Surprised, I fought the urge to turn my head to see what had him so excited. That too was against the rules.
Then I heard her footsteps. At the edge of my vision, I saw beautiful copper skin with an elegant spotted pattern along a slender arm and sexy leg. My heart thumped in my chest when I realized she had stopped in front of Khel.
Oh Goddess, please let it be! Please make her choose him.
Females never came as far as the advanced Tainted section. It would truly be a miracle at the time we needed it the most. She hadn’t initiated conversation yet, but she was still standing before him. So many emotions swarmed within him, it was almost overwhelming. And then, I felt his arousal, followed by a wave of shame.
Oh, Khel! No!
Those fucking breeches… This was so awkward. Feeling like I was intruding on his privacy, I almost blocked out his emotion. I couldn’t recall ever being in such a situation before. Every time Khel had been intimate with a female, it was off-world. Perceiving such feelings from him was… strange and rather uncomfortable.
Then something went wrong. From excited and hopeful, Khel became utterly distraught. What the fuck happened? And then she walked into my line of sight.
Gharah’s teeth! She’s breathtaking.
No wonder Khel reacted so strongly to her. I mean, her mere presence in our section was incredible. But that one of such beauty would even lay eyes upon us was impossible. And yet, there she was, looking at us – looking at me. Her species was foreign to me. She looked Terran, but the beautiful spots on her arms and legs belied that. The only species I heard of bearing similar markings became extinct decades ago. I didn’t give a shit, though.
She sees me. She truly sees me.
My skin heated and I felt dizzy under her openly admiring gaze. People didn’t look at me like that – not at Lhor the repulsive. And yet, the warmth in her eyes couldn’t be denied. She didn’t seem to see my Taint, just the male beneath it.
Our eyes connected and in that instant, the world faded away, sucked into a vacuum. There were no more witnesses, no hopeless Tainted, no Fastening Hall. Just us. Something powerful passed between us – a recognition, a reunion of the two parts of a whole. My soul knew hers, and hers knew mine. In my twenty-eight years of existence, nearly twenty-nine now, only one other soul had touched mine on such a deep level, and that was my Geminate, Khel.
Khel.
The thought of him severed the connection between the exotic female and me. Reality came crashing down, almost making my knees buckle. The too bright lights of the hall blinded me while the buzzing chatter from the witnesses roared in my ears. I blinked, trying to steady the room spinning around me, although my feet stood firm on the pedestal.
A wave of jealousy, shame, and sorrow hammered me. Khel wanted her with an irrational fierceness. And I felt the same. It came as no surprise considering our bond. For the first time, and in spite of the guilt that churned in my gut, I wanted to win. My whole life, I put myself second to Khel whenever the opportunity arose. I owed him my life, and he had sacrificed so much for me. But not her. I would not – could not – relinquish her.
She cast a look at Khel, before looking back at me. It was clear she was torn between the two of us, but she leaned towards me. I don’t know how I knew, but I did. She chewed her lips for a moment then gave me a strange look before starting to walk again down the remaining line of Aspirants. That devastated Khel, but not me. Once more, I knew beyond any doubt that she would return to us – to me. Nothing could explain my reaction, or my bone-deep conviction that we were meant to be. Yet, there it was.
Under normal circumstances, I would soothe Khel’s pain. With my own emotions completely jumbled, I feared blasting him with far more than he could handle. Soon, the sound o
f her soft footsteps returned. As expected, she stopped between the two of us, pondering who to choose. I wished it could be both of us, but she couldn’t. Would she even want two mates? Khel was willing her with all his might to come to him. Guilt and desire warred within him. Surely, he was kicking himself for insisting I participate today. Without me here, she would have chosen him already. But the connection between her and me was undeniable. We were kindred spirits, and she seemed to recognize it too.
I felt it, the moment she decided to initiate conversation with me. My skin tingled with excitement while my stomach flip-flopped. She gave Khel one last look. Her gaze drifted over his banner, then his bloodline.
And then everything fell apart.
Something affected her profoundly. She wavered, her body tensing slightly. Tendrils of fear ran down my spine and crawled their way through every nerve ending.
I can’t lose her. Not now.
She turned back to me, and I bared my soul to her. We connected again, but the damage was done. Something had changed. The look in her eyes said ‘I’m sorry. Goodbye.’ And then she turned from me.
“Hello,” she said to Khel. “My name is Amalia. Would you care to converse with me?”
Amalia… Why?
Pain and I were lifelong partners. First throughout my sickly youth, and then as I lived daily with the throb of the Taint. This, however, crushed me. Every fiber of my being was ripped apart. Vicious claws tore me to shreds from the inside out. My vision swam before me. Ghostly hands squeezed my throat, preventing air from reaching my lungs. Khel’s joy at being chosen felt like acid rain pouring over me. Of all the rejections I had faced in my life, this one destroyed me. It wasn’t just that no other woman had ever looked at me like a male instead of a walking disease. But this connection between us… She was my soulmate.
The Goddess gave me the strength to endure the following half-hour without showing the devastation inside me. I only half listened to their conversation, my ears ringing. The rational side of me knew this was the best possible outcome for Khel, the estate, and our family. Had she chosen me, in a few years, the Taint would have claimed Khel. Without my anchor, I would die, leaving her widowed and our offspring orphaned.
Our offspring…
Searing pain stabbed me in the chest. I tried to find comfort in the knowledge at least there would be offspring. They wouldn’t be mine, but I would love them as fiercely as if they were for whatever time I had left. By the time Amalia asked him to fasten with her, I had wrapped myself in Khel’s happiness in an attempt to soothe some of my pain.
At long last, it was over. While the couples gathered on the central altar for the Fastening Ceremony, the clerk ushered the rest of us back to the Antechamber through the backdoor.
And this took us to shitty moment number five, the last and worst of them all. Although for me, nothing would ever be more painful than today’s Fastening Selection. As soon as the door closed behind us, the masks dropped. For the past two hours, we acted as if we felt nothing, weren’t in pain or drowning in despair. We kept face first before the Primes and Norms, and then before the crowd. But now, with only Tainted gathered in the room, we dropped the pretense.
One of the last two males in the lineup broke down in tears. My eyes prickled, but I blinked the tears away before they could form. This was a far too familiar spectacle. A tall and brawny male led him to a chair and sat next to him. He embraced the crying male, allowing him to weep on his shoulder.
“It will be okay, brother,” the brawny male said. “There will be another time. Did you not see the miracle that happened today? One of us was chosen! A Pearl chose a Tainted! There is hope now, for all of us.”
The others whispered their agreement.
“Not for me, there isn’t,” the crying male sobbed. He gestured at his body. “Look at me! I only have days left. Days! Not even a week. I won’t live to see the next Fastening. Today was my last chance. I’m only thirty-two, and this is it.”
Eyes burning, I swallowed past the lump in my throat. Amalia choosing Khel devastated me, but this put things in perspective. I didn’t know how I would handle sharing a roof with the female who affected me so profoundly. But at least, I got to live a while longer. For all my wallowing in self-pity, Khel had given me a good and comfortable life. This poor male’s heavily calloused hands spoke of a life of hardship and hard labor.
The brawny male whispered comforting words in the crying male’s ears. His large hand rubbed his back in a soothing motion. A few other males hugged each other, seeking solace. Shoulders sagging, I headed for the lockers to change. If I never saw another pair of Fastening Breeches, it would be too soon. Plus I hated feeling so exposed. Over the years, my hooded cloak became somewhat of a security blanket.
I removed the breeches and tossed them in the basket by the lockers. As I turned back to retrieve my clothes, I noticed one of the males giving my naked body an appreciative once over. My muscles tensed, unease coursing through me. I faced away from him, hurrying into my clothes. From the corner of my eye, I saw him discard his breeches and come towards me.
My back stiffened.
“Relax, brother,” he said as he walked past me to the third locker from mine. While dressing, he gave me a side glance, a teasing smile on his lips. “Anyone with eyes can see you’re not bi. Doesn’t mean we can’t admire the view.”
My face heated and he chuckled at my embarrassment. I smiled in self-derision and finished dressing. Although I left the hood down, wrapping my cloak over my garments made me feel better, safe, shielded. As I prepared to leave, Adviser Xhar informed us the Fastening Ceremony would end soon. This meant, the chosen males would be joining us shortly in the Antechamber to get dressed. It was a courtesy on his part for those who wished to make a quick exit. The Tainted didn’t care to be exposed to the happy glow and often insensitive bragging of the Primes.
As I left the room, I cast a longing glance at the central altar where Magister Zhef wrapped the binding cloth over the couples’ joined hands. My eyes lingered on Amalia, a vise-like grip constricting my chest. She was so beautiful. Her plump, pouty lips slightly parted, she stared at Khel with a look of awe and wonder while Zhef completed their bond.
It should have been me.
I forced my eyes away from her, swallowing the acrid taste in my mouth. With heavy steps, I walked out of the Hall.
It would take another fifteen minutes at least for Khel to change and for them to register their Fastening in the Hall of Records. I seized the opportunity to bring our shuttle near the entrance.
Upon my return, I wove my way through the throngs of witnesses. A single topic buzzed on every lip; a Pearl of unknown species chose a Tainted. My chest hurt as the same thought echoed in my mind again
It should have been me.
Standing by the doorway into Main Hall, I observed Amalia and Khel together as they signed the record. A pang of envy coursed through me. I crushed it, knowing this was only another of many more to torment me in the future.
Despite my sorrow, I couldn’t help chuckling when Khel all but bared his teeth at the clerk. I felt his anger flare when the clerk questioned Amalia. Whatever the cause, Khel cowed him into completing their registration swiftly.
He was always such a badass.
While Amalia retrieved her coat from Advisor Fihn, I braced myself and made my way towards Khel. Our eyes connected.
My Gem…
Happiness, guilt and worry warred within him. At that moment I knew, no matter how devastating losing Amalia had been, nothing would ever come between my Gem and me. This was a day to celebrate. I wouldn’t take that away from him.
Smiling, I allowed a sliver of my love for him to trickle through our bond. It wasn’t enough to give away my ability, but it would soothe and reassure him. Khel’s relief and affection flowed through me. His hand fell away from Amalia’s back as he marched towards me. We hugged each other fiercely, ignoring the disapproving frowns at our public display.
&nbs
p; “Congratulations, cousin!” I said. “No other male deserves this happiness as much as you.”
Despite the ache lingering in my chest, I meant it.
“Thank you, brother. Thank you for everything.” Khel turned to Amalia and extended his hand towards her. She grabbed it, stepping to his side. “Amalia, please meet Lhor. He’s my cousin by blood, but the brother of my heart.”
A shiver ran down my spine as I turned to face her. Quelling the queasiness in my stomach, I gave her what I hoped was a warm, welcoming smile.
“Seha Amalia, it’s an honor.” I placed my hand over my heart and bowed my head in the traditional Xelixian greeting. “Long life and the blessing of the Goddess upon you.”
“The honor is mine, Lhor,” she said.
Her sultry voice stirred the embers of a fire I had not felt in years. The same powerful connection sucked me in when our eyes met. My skin tingled and my pulse perked up. Her throat worked and her pupils dilated. She quickly looked away, breaking the bond.
Goddess have mercy.
I affected her as strongly as she affected me. We were so screwed.
Forcing my thoughts away from this forbidden path, I gave Khel an inquisitive look. “If you’re both ready, I can fly us home.”
“Yes, let’s go,” Khel said. “I cannot wait to show you your new home, Amalia.”
THE END.
BLIND FATE
Veredian Chronicles – Book 2
Regine Abel
Copyright © 2017
COVER DESIGN BY
Regine Abel
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
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