by Regine Abel
I lowered the hem of her tunic that had ridden up. My eyes lingered on our mixed essences glistening between her thighs. It could have – should have – been so different. Refusing to allow the pain settling in my chest to grow any further, I turned around and left the room.
* * *
Valena rose from her bed nearly two hours later. From the corner of my eye, I watched her stumble about, looking somewhat disoriented. I didn’t understand why my Thylin affected her so severely and that worried me. She entered the fresher. After almost twenty minutes, I readied to go check up on her when she walked out. Her damp hair explained what had taken her so long.
When she noticed me observing her, I didn’t avert my eyes. As much as I wanted to forget I’d ever allowed myself to care this much for her, the Goddess only knew how long we would be stuck here. Giving her the silent treatment wouldn’t resolve anything – not that anything could be resolved. But we needed to get this out of the way and find some kind of peaceful way to cohabit through our current ordeal.
She padded towards me – once more barefoot – her delicate fingers fiddling with the hem of her short tunic. It took all my willpower to not stare at her shapely legs, with the short tunic barely reaching her mid-thigh.
I muted the vidscreen and gestured for her to take a seat on the couch next to my chair. Valena complied, folding her legs underneath her. She cleared her throat and clasped her hands in front of her.
“I’m sorry for keeping my abilities secret from you.”
She cast an uncertain look towards me. I kept my own expression impassive.
“At first, it was only because I didn’t know if I could trust you. Your rivalry with General Praghan made me think maybe you were a villain.”
My temper flared but I forced myself to keep it in check. “You could read my mind. After the first day you had to know what my real intentions were.”
She nodded. “Yes. After the first day, I knew you were a good male. I wanted to tell you but it wasn’t only my secret to keep. Revealing my abilities to you would have exposed Amalia’s and every other Veredian’s as well. Us becoming a couple took me by surprise. Initially, I just thought you would help me and the other captives regain our freedom and then we’d go our separate ways.”
I leaned back in my chair and crossed my arms over my chest. She took in a deep breath before continuing.
“By the time I realized things were getting serious between us, I didn’t know how to tell you. The more time passed, the harder it became. I feared you might reject me.”
“So instead, you chose to rape my mind day in and day out.” My voice oozed with bitter resentment. “You invaded my most private thoughts and took what you wanted with complete disregard for how I might feel about it.”
“It wasn’t like that!”
My fingers dug into the soft fabric of my chair’s armrests. “Wasn’t it? I wondered why you couldn’t seem to keep your hands off me. Like a fool, I liked it, thinking you were as attracted to me as I was to you.”
“I was! I am!” She leaned forward, her eyes pleading.
I shook my head and snorted in self-derision. “No, you weren’t. You were gathering information for your master on how best to manipulate me.”
She jumped to her feet, hands fisted by her sides.
“That is not true! Yes, I fucked up. But anything I did was my own choice. Varrek didn’t send me to you as a spy. You demanded I come live with you, remember? He didn’t ask, nor did I!”
Fair point.
“Still, you manipulated me.”
“I didn’t!” She ran her hands through her hair, a look of despair on her face. “Yes, I took what wasn’t mine. But you have a wonderful mind. I loved the way you saw me and thought of me. You made me feel like the most amazing female in the world. I wanted to please you in return.”
She kneeled before me, her gloved hands grabbing mine. I tried to pull free but she tightened her grip, begging eyes locked with mine.
“I have taken from you what I shouldn’t have, and I’m sorry. But I’ve given you everything that I am. You are my mate.”
My heart ached. She was so beautiful, so vulnerable… Every protective instinct within me hammered at me to cradle her in my arms and tell her everything would be all right.
I shook my head slowly. “I am not your mate, Valena.”
“We exchanged vows!” Her voice held an angry edge.
“Did we?” I asked, sadly.
“Yes,” she hissed.
“How do I know that?” I asked.
She gave me a confused look.
“How do I know that anything that happened between us was real? Did you order me to fall for you? Did you command me to accept your mating proposal?”
“No,” she breathed out, her eyes misting. “I wouldn’t do that.”
“Wouldn’t you?” I asked. “You expect me to take your word on that?”
I pulled my hands out of her grasp and rose to my feet, forcing her to move back. Pacing around the sitting area, I thought back on the past two weeks.
“Our vows are worthless. Not only because we haven’t exchanged them in the Fastening Hall, but they are required to be given freely. I don’t know if anything that happened between us was real or something you planted in my mind.”
I stopped pacing and looked at her, still kneeling on the light-grey area rug by the couch.
“But worse, I don’t even know who you are.”
“What do you mean?” she whispered.
The tears slipping down her cheeks tore at me, but I hardened myself.
“The female I fell for was far too perfect. She was everything I wanted. Always the right words, the right response, the right reaction at the right time.” I chuckled sadly. “I remember thinking it was as if you could read my mind at times. I never imagined you actually were. Everything I thought I knew about you is a lie. You played the role of the female I wanted. But who are you, Valena Rounis?”
“I am the same female you have fallen for,” she said, rising to her feet. “Yes, I have reacted in response to some of your thoughts and fantasies. But I did it not only to please you, but because I wanted to. If your desires had been abhorrent to me, I wouldn’t have done them.”
She approached me and placed her hands on my waist. I tried to pull away again but she fisted her hands on my tunic.
“If I was controlling you, I would have simply ordered you to tell Councilor Kirnhan everything. But I didn’t. I put my faith in your hands because I trusted you.” Her eyes flicked between mine. “I didn’t have to give myself to you, Zhul.”
True.
My stomach knotted remembering our first night together. I couldn’t believe the Goddess had given me such a wondrous gift. Every instinct told me something wasn’t quite right. She was too perfect. I had been too drunk with desire to think straight.
“Whatever you may think of me, my feelings for you are real. You are my soulmate. I’ve known it, felt it, from the moment we met.”
I had felt it, too, which made this all the more painful.
“Except I can’t trust you anymore. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to trust you not to turn me into some puppet.”
Her fists gripping my tunic tightened further. “I would never do that! I wouldn’t use my ability to influence someone against their will.”
Liar!
I sneered and tore myself out of her grasp. “You never would, really?” I asked, my voice dripping with contempt. “You mean to tell me you had nothing to do with my father’s newfound backbone?”
She bit her lips and wrapped her arms around her mid-section.
I snorted at her silence, taking a few steps away from her. “At least, you’re not trying to insult my intelligence further by denying you made him leave my mother.”
Her eyes flared. “I didn’t make him leave her,” she argued. “Even though it’s in my power to do so, I don’t manipulate people like that.”
“For twenty-one years, my fat
her has been a spineless pushover. The very next day after he meets you in my house, he’s suddenly no longer a slave to my mother’s greed.”
“As the Goddess is my witness, I swear to you, Zhul, I did not tell him to leave your mother.” She closed the distance between us but didn’t touch me. “Yes, I admit to planting a command in his mind.”
My jaw clenched.
“But… All I did was order him to forgive himself for his mistakes, start loving himself again, and act accordingly.” Her voice took on a pleading tone. “A male who loves himself will not accept being treated the way your mother did. Your father leaving her was entirely his choice.”
I opened my mouth to argue but her gaze shifted just over my shoulder. Her mouth gaped and her eyes bulged. I turned around and saw what had caused such a reaction.
On the vidscreen, Nikha stood speaking, a large portrait of me displayed next to her. Above my picture, the word ‘MISSING’ was written.
Grabbing the remote from the coffee table, I unmuted the vidscreen.
“…believe he might have met with foul play following a violent attack at his estate,” Nikha said. “Although neither the police department nor the military would give us any confirmation, there are rumors circulating that the authorities also wish to speak to former Councilor Zhul Dervhen in connection with the gruesome bombing of the Convention Center.”
The image of that vermin who called himself my cousin replaced mine on the screen.
“This rumor is further substantiated by the fact that Councilor Dervhen’s seat has already been passed on to his first cousin, Sehr Whil Dervhen. He will represent the Xelhen District until Zhul Dervhen has been found and assuming that no criminal charges prevent him from being reinstated.”
The reporter droned on about the dire state of the diplomatic relations with the Terran and Avean governments in light of the large number of females who’d died during the raid. A full Council was therefore required to try and pacify our allies. She went back to the theory that I might be a prime suspect in the investigation. Of course, she was swift to add a disclaimer that these were pure speculations and no formal charges had been laid against me. That didn’t stop her from running a full segment displaying my long-standing feud with Praghan. To my relief, she confirmed that my father and sister were safe at the First Division’s compound on Praghan’s estate. Although, she phrased it as them being in custody.
The security lock on the door chimed. Nurse Rosthan, Sheb, and another Xelixian guard I had not yet met, stood on the other side of the door. Following the guidelines Valena had explained last night, she and I went to stand behind the safety line. A soft click indicated the locking mechanism on Valena’s gloves became active. Our three ‘visitors’ stepped inside the room, the two males giving me a baleful glare. I knew Sheb had hoped to be Valena’s chosen mate. I wondered if the other male had held such aspiration as well.
Although it was childish – and rather stupid in my current situation – I couldn’t help smirking at them.
The nameless guard placed a small box on the floor by the door. I eyed the nurse warily as she approached me, a couple of small containers in her hand. Something about her nagged at me, like I should know her. But I couldn’t quite put my finger on what it could be.
“Please bite on the blue lid and deposit a sample of your Thylin venom,” Nurse Rosthan said, extending the two to me. “Then please bite on the green lid and deposit a sample of your Rhykin venom.”
I stared at her, disbelieving. She wanted to milk my venom like I was a fucking krillik. When I made no gesture to take the containers from her, Sheb took a menacing step forward, his hand resting on the blaster hanging on his hip. He wouldn’t kill me, but a stun – or worse, getting tased – would prove most painful. Valena eyed me warily, her expression urging me to comply.
Swallowing my boiling anger, I grabbed the containers and did as ordered. The nurse took the containers back without a word and walked towards the box the nameless guard had put down.
“There are more sets of containers in this box,” she said, pointing at it. “You will provide new samples once every day before lunch time.”
Nurse Rosthan then moved near the door and tapped on a paler panel on the wall. It slid open to reveal a small shelf.
“You will place the containers here and close the panel once you’re done.” She turned to face me. “Any questions?”
Fighting the urge to snap her neck, I ground my teeth and shook my head.
She shrugged and walked out of the detention area, followed by the two guards. The locking mechanism kicked back in.
Once again, we were alone.
CHAPTER 18
Lhor
Amalia stirred against me, a soft sigh slipping through her parted lips. I tightened my hold around her and nuzzled her neck. Her warm back pressed against my chest. Since the terrible outcome of the raid, three days ago, her sleep had been restless. I had never seen her so vulnerable and distraught. Even though we no longer feared for Khel’s life – at least in the short term – his body was ravaged. Only time would tell us how much of a recovery he would eventually make.
Maheva performed miracles repairing his bones and vital organs. She was forced to stop that first night as the toxins had already messed with his biological makeup too much for her to heal him completely. The way she described it, her healing ability was like staring at an ethereal outline of what a picture should be and simply tracing over it to make it take form. Then she would order it to fill the outline with flesh, muscle, and skin using the resources of the body. The problem was that the poison had distorted the outline.
Two issues already arose from this distortion. Minh scanned the repairs as Maheva performed them and noticed a number of cyst-like lumps in Khel’s lungs. Although they could be surgically removed to prevent respiratory distress and chronic infections, it was the first evidence of the toxin tampering with Khel’s system. To our relief, Maheva succeeded in perfectly restoring his heart, pancreas, and liver. But his diaphragm had a gaping hole in it. Although she could see the problem, her ability didn’t allow her to circumvent it. She was bound by the biological map the patient’s body communicated to her. This, too, would need to be surgically repaired or organs in Khel’s abdomen could drift into his chest cavity, constraining his lungs’ ability to expand when he breathed.
As the number of such defects began to rise, it was agreed to stop further healing until the Tuureans brought the Veredian to drain some of the toxins from Khel’s body. He had been in cryo-stasis ever since. Admiral Lee would hopefully arrive today with the Veredian. In the meantime, Maheva had driven herself to near exhaustion performing the same treatment on the eleven other warriors kept in stasis. The three males in the healing tanks had been released, the nanobots having repaired most of the damage and Maheva making them as good as new.
Amalia turned to face me. We exchanged a tender kiss then held each other in silence. Khel’s absence weighed on us. As awkward as it had first been sharing a bed with Khel and Amalia, we now both missed his presence. Khel was our rock, the pillar that held us standing tall. But beyond missing my brother and best friend, the emotional silence of my Gem ate at me.
I brushed the long, curly, dark-brown hair from her face. Even with the dark shadows beneath her yellow eyes speckled with green, Amalia was the most beautiful woman in the world to me. I loved her beyond words. We made love gently, tenderly. It wasn’t only to seek comfort in each other’s affection but also because she was in the full heat of her season. The hormonal imbalance it caused had her going from one end of the emotional spectrum to the other in a blink. The recent dramatic events made it even harder for her to cope with it.
After a quick shower, we went to check up on the children. Zharina still slept. It wasn’t surprising considering she was a wild little ball of energy and mischief. She was recharging to drive all of us insane again once she woke. On the other hand, Valheryon sat in his crib, eyes wide open, staring off through the
window at the ryspak orchard, a wistful look on his little face.
He turned towards us when he heard our footsteps approaching. His eyes rested on Amalia first, and a small smile stretched his lips. It softened his otherwise overly serious and mature expression. His gaze drifted towards me and his smile broadened. Although there was no actual competition between us, it tickled me that I was Vahl’s favorite. That warm, fuzzy feeling quickly died, though, when our son looked beyond my shoulder before frowning. This marked the third day that Khel didn’t attend our daily ritual of morning greeting to our children.
Despite their young age, both Zhara and Vahl showed a maturity level and mental development well beyond their five months. Veredians matured faster than Xelixians who, in turn, also matured faster than Terrans. But according to Amalia and Maheva, even by Veredian standards, our children were far ahead of the normal curve by at least seven months in their motor control and nearly a year in their mental awareness and comprehension. We didn’t know what to make of it.
“Daddy?” Vahl asked.
I took him into my arms and tried to give him a reassuring smile. His eyes latched onto my dimples. For some reason, he loved poking his fingers at them. Unable to resist, he did it yet again, as he often did to his sister. Amalia chuckled and caressed Vahl’s hair.
“Daddy is very sick,” I said with a sigh.
Early on, Amalia, Khel, and I had agreed we would never lie to our children when they asked us difficult questions, unless the truth would be too damaging to them or beyond their comprehension. My protective instincts dictated I should tell them Khel was on an off-world mission and wouldn’t return for a while. But we didn’t know what state he would ultimately end up in. It was better we began preparing our children slowly for the hardships ahead.
“Nana?”
Once more, our son’s keen mind impressed me.
“Nana and Dr. Minh are doing everything to help Daddy get better. But it’s going to take a lot of time.”
Movement at the corner of my eye made me notice Zhara had awoken and stared at me with wide eyes identical to her mother’s.