by Diana Nixon
"I hope I won't have to kill you after your experiments," I said.
He laughed quietly and then he said, "Imagine that someone is trying to take away something that is very precious to you." It was the easiest thing to do as I didn't have to imagine anything, it was just enough to remember how I felt the moment I read Eric's note and realized that Christian had been kidnapped.
"As you all can see, Miss Clark's thoughts are far from being pleasant, and the colors of her aura turn to darker shades that also affect her energy pole and its vibrations. It indicates the presence of fear in her mind. When you see such changes on someone else, you will recognize their weakness," Christian said to the audience, squeezing my palm lightly, as if trying to say that whatever I was thinking about would never happen again. "And now," he said, with his lips almost touching my ear, "think about our first kiss."
I almost lost my balance hearing his words, and he immediately put his hands on my shoulders so as not to let me fall. He couldn't take his words back and the memory of that unforgettable moment started forming in my mind.
We were standing in the middle of my room, embracing each other, when Christian bent his head and our lips met in a perfect, tender and sensuous kiss.
"Now, you can see the changes in Miss Clark's aura with all the shades of golden joy sparkling there like sunlight," Christian said, surprised. I came back to reality, but my thoughts were still wrapped around our first kiss.
I didn't know if someone could hear my heart beating, but I was more than sure that even those who didn't know anything about my thoughts were able to see them through my mind. I opened my eyes and realized that all the students' attention was focused now on Mrs. Lively's words who was commenting on Christian's experiments.
"Was it really as amazing as what I saw just a minute ago?" he asked quietly. I couldn't stop thinking about that damn kiss and the proximity of our bodies that were now separated only by a thin layer of air.
"I don't remember," I snapped, heading for the group of students standing in a circle around our professor. I knew I was running away like a coward. But at that moment I couldn't look into his eyes and I couldn't stay so close to him.
Apparently, Christian wasn't going to make my life easier. He came to me and said, "I want you to tell me everything about that day. I want to remember, Eileen, I need your help," he said softly, and my heart sank with pain from the memory of our past life and everything that we had gone through. I would have never imagined that one day I would want my lectures to last forever, because I had no idea how to tell Christian about our first kiss.
When the lecture was over and the students headed for the exit I followed them, hoping that Christian wouldn't see me leaving the class. But he didn't even let me take a few steps before running up to me and taking me by the hand. It felt like a death grip.
"Not so fast," he said. "Couldn't you come up with something more inventive than running away from me?"
"You know what?" I stopped abruptly with my hands on my hips. "Sometimes I think you enjoy every second of torturing me!" I said furiously.
"No, I don't!" he hissed in response. His face suddenly darkened. God, he was angry. Like really angry. The waves of dark-red shades wrapped my body like a cocoon and I couldn’t even move, surprised to see him like that. "Your stories help me to bring back my memory. Every time you tell me something I don't remember, different pictures appear in my head. The pictures of places and situations I thought I didn't know anything about! Does it make any sense now? Do you still care about me, Eileen? Do you still want to help me? 'Cause it feels like I'm not the one you want to be with anymore."
"Christian, I...."
"Maybe you think that you are the only suffering soul here, but it's not true! Being in the dark is making me insane," he said in a barely audible voice. And I swear I've never heard so much pain in his words before. I took a few steps back, but he anticipated my movement, pinning me between the wall and his body. "You are my only source of the information that I can't remember, Eileen. Do you think it's easy to see you every day, to know that you belong to me and not to remember a damn thing about you?!" he flared. God, I was such a jerk! He needed me so much, and I was such a selfish pig, thinking only about my own feelings. He was right, I thought I was the only person suffering there.
"I'm sorry," I whispered, closing my eyes in embarrassment. "I'm so sorry Christian, I thought... hell, I don't know what I was thinking about! But you seemed to be perfectly okay about everything that had happened. You were back to your normal life, to your friends, to your classes. And every time you saw me you did your best to make me feel uneasy. Why would you do that?" I asked in a trembling voice with tears running down my cheeks. "Did you want to test me to see if your attractiveness still affects me? Well, congrats! You've succeeded. You are still the only man I want to be with," I said, feeling my heart breaking into thousands of small pieces. He didn't answer. He closed his eyes, pressed his forehead to mine and placed his clenched fists on the sides of my head. I cried even harder. "You don't know how it feels to be so close to you and realize that you don't remember me, that I can't touch you, that I can't embrace you...."
"Don't say that, Eileen. Please, don't… 'cause you don't know how much I want to do the same," he said, breathing heavily. "We just need some time to figure it out. I need more time to get used to being with you again. Not that I don't want to, but everything is so complicated now... don’t think that I don't want to remember you. It's not true," he whispered, taking my face in his hands. "I want to. Damn I want this so much!" He groaned and I did the only thing I had been dying to do for so long. I put my arms around his waist and pressed myself to his chest, still crying quietly. He kissed my hair and embraced me tightly.
"Everything's gonna be okay. I promise," he said. I could feel his heart, beating fast.
We stood silently and then he said, "Do you still want to help me?" He smiled lightly, shifting his body to see my face. I nodded in response and smiled back encouragingly, wiping my tears with my hands. "Okay, so... can you tell me about the day... of our first kiss? Where did it happen?"
I needed to put aside my fears and let our love clear up the mess that we had gotten ourselves into. So telling myself to calm down, I took his hand in mine and headed for my dorm.
"You said my stories brought some pictures to your head," I said, walking slowly next to him. "What exactly do you see there?"
"For example, today when we were in the class I saw the golden lines, flowing in the air. It was a plexus of lace and flowers. Do you know what it means?"
"Actually, it was the very picture I told you about before. The one that I shared my energy with you to create. Everything started from those golden lines. First I saw them in my dreams, then you chose the same drawing for your Festival's show and then we saw the same picture reflecting in our tattoos."
"Speaking of the tattoos. You said they expand from the touch, right?" I nodded, hiding my eyes under my lashes, as that was one of those memories I tried not to mention. "The thing is that when I touch mine, nothing happens," Christian said, disappointed.
"So it should be. Your tattoo grows only from my touch," I explained.
"Oh, right," he said, smiling. "So the same thing happens with yours? Does it grow only from my touch?"
"Well, at least it used to be like that before... things changed." I didn't really want to check out the truth of my words as I knew it would be harder than anything we had already tried. Feeling his touch on my bare skin was unbearable. I couldn’t stand it. No, scratch that, I wanted to feel it! Of course, I did! But it was much easier to keep telling myself otherwise.
When we entered my room the only thing I wanted to do was to go down the drain. Christian felt my inner torment and broke the silence first.
"So, tell me what was going on here before... the kiss?" he asked, watching me carefully.
God, I wanted that awkward tension to stop, so I came to him and took off his jacket in one fast motio
n.
"Wow!" He chuckled, and I saw dancing devils in his gorgeous emerald eyes. "We were not very patient, huh?"
"Just be quiet!" I snapped, turning his back to my mirror. The next thing I was supposed to do was to take off his shirt, but my courage suddenly vanished.
"Do you need help?" Christian asked, smiling. He saw that my hands had stopped half-way to the damn shirt!
Trying to look calm, I took a step closer, put my hands under his shirt and pulled it up, trying really hard not to think about the way my fingers were sliding up his body. He didn't stop me. With the same devilish smile on his face, he put his hands up and watched me intently until the moment his shirt joined his jacket on the floor. His bare chest was as beautiful as I remembered and his skin felt so warm and smooth under my fingers that I almost groaned in despair. I wanted to touch it again. And again....
"Can I ask you something?" he said, still watching me.
"Sure," I replied. I blinked and took a step back.
"All the... prelude meant that we were going to....?"
"What?" I asked, confused. And then I suddenly realized what he was trying to ask about. "Oh, no! Um... no, we were not going to do anything of the sort. The prelude, as you called them, were necessary in order to see the tattoos on our backs," I clarified.
"Oh, uh... okay." He nodded and I saw a shadow of disappointment in his eyes. "So what happened next?"
"I touched your shoulder. Like this," I said, putting my trembling palm on his tattoo of the interlaced hearts. But this time it didn't move. "Weird," I whispered, frowning. "Nothing happens. But I can feel your every emotion, so the bond still exists, right? But somehow it works only one way now. And you don't feel me."
"Actually," Christian said quietly, "I think that now our feelings are the same. The kiss was right there, following your touch, right?"
"You said you didn't remember!" I stared at him, wide-eyed.
"I didn't.” He smiled. “But if last time everything was just the way it is now, I'm sure that at this very moment all I could think about was... this," he said, bending to my lips.
Barely feeling the touch of his lips on mine, I forgot about everything and let the sweet temptation swallow me. Before that moment I couldn't even imagine how much I really missed Christian. I was dying without him, and he was everything I wanted. Now and forever.
I enjoyed his warmth, his body pressed against mine, his tender touches, the way his palms were moving slowly down my back and under my shirt, making my bare skin tingle under his fingers. I enjoyed our lips touching and tasting, and our tongues dancing seductively. Now everything was just the way it should be. He and I, swaying in the waves of our infinite love.
Christian broke the kiss slowly just to say the following, "How could I ever forget about this?"
And then his lips were back on mine, giving me another wonderful kiss. We were back to our ideal world, where nothing else mattered, and everything seemed so perfect, when suddenly we heard Amanda’s groan. Oh. My. Goodness! She caught us! Again!
“Holy hell! Nothing changes!” she exclaimed, laughing. “You know what, guys? You should change the scenery, 'cause there are so many other romantic places in Dever, but the two of you always come here! And you, Christian are always half naked!” she added, still smiling. “Is Eileen not only stronger, but also faster than you are?”
"Why don't you give me a little more credit, sis?" Christian asked, rolling his eyes; his hands were still on my waist.
Amanda always knew when to show up. And oddly enough, she always caught us just like this: kissing and undressing each other.
Someone cleared his throat and I saw Lucas. God, I thought I would die from embarrassment! I hid my face against Christian's chest. He laughed quietly and kissed me on the head.
"Hey, Lucas," he greeted. "How are you?"
"I'm fine, thanks," the guy said, obviously nervous. "We stopped by only for a second," he added apologetically.
"Next time you want to be alone, just leave a note on the door, saying Do not disturb," Amanda said, taking some books from her desk. "Don't worry, we are leaving." She winked, closing the door behind her.
The magiс was gone and now I felt even worse than the moment we left the class.
"What's wrong?" Christian asked, trying to touch me again.
"Don't... don't do this," I protested, turning to the window.
"Why?" he asked quietly, putting his hands on my shoulders.
"Because this is so wrong, everything is so wrong! I want you to know whom you are kissing, embracing and...."
"Eileen, look at me," he stopped my babbling. "Please."
I turned to face him and he smiled slightly, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear.
"I know all of the above," he said, caressing my cheeks. "I knew everything the moment I saw your worried face looking at me the day of my return. Maybe I don't remember the way our relationship started, but I know that everything we are doing now is right. I can feel it here," he put one hand on his heart. "I don't remember my former feelings for you, but I know what I feel now. And this is something so much stronger than anything I have ever felt. I want you to know that my feelings for you are not gone and maybe now I'm starting to fall for you again, I don't know. But I like it. And this is what I want. I see you watching me every time I'm near; I know that it's hard for you to be with me, knowing that I can't remember you. But I want you to know that no matter what is going on now, the only thing I really want is to be with you. I can't stop myself from thinking about you. Every morning I wake up and rush to the dining room just to see you there drinking your coffee and laughing with our friends. And every time you are close to me, I'm dying to touch you, to feel you. I don't want to be just a chapter in your life, Eileen, I want to be your history. So please, don't push me away. I can't imagine my life without you. Please, let me be with you again," he whispered with his eyes pleading silently.
"You know what, Christian?" I said, putting my hands on his chest. "I didn't want to believe that our love was only the result of our magical bond. That if it wasn't for that bond we would have never fallen in love with each other. But now, when the bond doesn't work for you, and you still have feelings for me, I know how wrong my fears were. And I'm glad that you were brave enough to say aloud everything I couldn't. Thank God, you can't read my mind, because there were so many idiotic thoughts I never wanted you to know about. I was such a fool! There was a moment when I thought that you would come back to Vanessa, as the two of you used to date before my coming to Dever."
"Come back to Vanessa? Seriously? So that was what you thought the day you saw her hugging me on the street?" he asked, smiling. I nodded guiltily. "God, and I was wondering why you were avoiding me during the rest of the week!" He laughed and embraced me tightly, caressing my back. "You should have known me better, Eileen. What else were you thinking about?" he asked and it was my turn to laugh now.
"Trust me, you don't want to hear that," I said and closed my eyes, enjoying his closeness.
The next moment something changed.
"You are trembling, you know?" Christian said, releasing me.
"It's just my cell," I replied, taking the phone out of my jeans pocket. The ID showed my father's number and I immediately forgot about everything else. "Dad, where are you? You okay?"
"Yes, honey, I'm fine," he said tiredly. "Your mom and I are at Patrick's apartment, but Eileen...."
"I'll be there in a minute," I said, without hearing the end of his sentence.
"Frederick is back?"
"Yes, he and Catherine are with your father now.”
I smoothed my hair hurriedly. Christian put on his shirt and we left, running to the neighboring building.
To our surprise, Patrick stopped us in the living room.
"What's going on?" Christian asked, seeing his father's nervousness.
"Is it about Catherine?" I asked, frowning.
"Eileen, your mom... she's unconscious," he said, hesitating.<
br />
"What? What happened? I want to see her!"
"No, you can't."
"Why?"
"Mrs. Webber is with her now. Don't' worry, Eileen, her life is out of danger, but Walter... well, he used her as the source of his life energy. Just like Eric used Anna. So it may take a few weeks before she could be able to stand on her own feet," he explained, choosing every word carefully.
"Son of a bitch!" I swore aloud, thinking about Walter Blake.
"Calm down, Eileen. Come here, sit," Christian said, leading me to one of the chairs.
"I don't understand. Catherine is just a human, she didn't have enough energy to share it with anyone!"
"She's your mother, Eileen, she has a part of your energy in her blood. Of course, it's not enough to possess any of the elements, or magical power, but it’s more than enough to recharge someone else," Patrick said.
"Now I know why he couldn't leave her even for a second!" I hissed, remembering all those times of their endless kissing and embraces, that irritated me so much while we were staying with them in Paris. "Where is that bastard now?"
"We don't know," my father replied, coming out of the room where my mom apparently was. He came to me and hugged me, kissing my forehead. "I'm glad you are back honey and that you are all right," he said, looking happily into my eyes. "That the two of you are all right," he added, smiling to Christian.
"What does Dorothy say?" Patrick asked.
"Catherine will have to stay here for a while. We can't leave her alone."
"Does mom know the truth about you?"
"Well, she always knew that I was your father," Frederick replied, smiling. "But I didn't have time to tell her everything else. So we are going to have a long and not very pleasant conversation one of these days." He grimaced, knowing that it wouldn't be easy.