“I was afraid it might be,” Phoenix said, and took a deep breath, desperately trying to calm the blood rushing in his veins. This month had been the best and worst of his life, and he felt like he was about to lose everything. He quelled the desperation rising inside him. Gritting his teeth, he asked, “What would you like me to do about Mena being miserable, and making you miserable in the process? I’m sorry, but we’re not moving in together and letting her sleep between us. My door swings a lot of ways, but it doesn’t swing that way.”
“I want you to break up with her,” Ace said.
Phoenix clucked his tongue against his teeth a few times. “Yeah, that’s not going to happen in this lifetime.”
“I’m totally serious. She’s holding on to something that can never happen. When she’s sad, I’m sad. When I’m pissed off, she feels my rage. It’s not that I don’t want her to be happy with you—I totally get the whole love thing now, really—but I can’t control how I feel when she thinks about being with you. It’s torture, torture for us both. I’m a bonded male. She is mine. That won’t change. But as long as she thinks there is a future with you, she will be miserable. If you’ll just end it, cut all ties, she will get over you in time. Andromeda refuses to think about the future. When she does, you are there, and so am I. She knows my pride is in Las Vegas, but, in her vision, she shuts down before I leave; she won’t face the fact that she can’t have us both.”
“Do you realize what you’re asking me to do? I’m over eight centuries old, and I’ve never been in love, until her.”
“Is it like taking a plastic spoon and cutting your heart out with it? ‘Cause that’s the vibe I was getting from her last night because she couldn’t make herself come to you. Holding her was the only thing that helped. We never even spoke a word out loud to each other; we said everything with our minds. Broken hearts suck, by the way. I’ve only experienced it through her, but that was enough.”
Phoenix shook his head. “No. I can’t do it.”
“You can’t or you won’t?”
“Both! I love her!” Phoenix thundered.
“Then set her free so she can be happy!” Ace shouted back.
“I don’t know how,” Phoenix said in a weak voice.
Ace sighed. “You could always be an asshole and make her hate you. That’s how I usually get rid of cuddlers.” He ran his hands through his hair and stalled for a moment. “There’s something else.”
“I’m not sure I can handle anything else right now, Ace.”
“It’s kinda important. It’s pretty bad.” The seriousness in Ace’s voice gave Phoenix pause. It was rare, from what he’d seen of the arrogant playboy, and something made him listen.
Phoenix walked to his chair and sat down, letting his head fall back so he could stare at the ceiling, instead of the guy who had just asked him to step out into the sunlight. And now he wanted to pile on more bad news. “Go on.”
“I got a text this morning from my cousin, congratulating me on my bonding with Montgomery’s pack leader. He said he’d see us both soon.”
“That’s a bad thing?” Phoenix responded, without lifting his head to look at him.
“It is when your cousin happens to be Justice Keller.”
Phoenix raised his head and stared at him. Roel’s words of Justice’s promise came back to him, and stirrings of panic made ripples of unease up his spine.
“He hasn’t ever challenged me, because he couldn’t take over my pride—we aren’t lycan—but now that I’m bonded with Andromeda, and she is lycan, he can, since my pride is now hers, too. We’ve always been competitive, and I’m not afraid of him, but if he wants to hurt me, hurting her is the best way to do that. I need to take her with me to Las Vegas for a while where she can be trained to be an Alpha and learn how to fight.”
“No,” Phoenix said. “I can protect her—”
“It’s not an option. I came down here to ask you to end things with her. Don’t make me tell you.”
“You can’t touch me without hurting her, so your argument is—” He caught a clear vial filled with a pink liquid that Ace tossed him.
“It’s the potion to release her from the nexus spell. Make her drink it.”
Phoenix stared at it in wonder. “How’d you get this?”
“I have my ways. We have witches in Las Vegas, too. I heard she was linked to you and a handful of others. I wasn’t coming unprepared.”
“If I don’t give it to her, then what?”
“I’ll find a way to make her take it myself, then I’ll kill you.”
Phoenix’s lips curled up on one side. “She will refuse if she has any notion that you mean me harm.”
“Hope you’re a good liar.”
Phoenix sighed, defeated. “Let her stay here. You can go back to your old life and pretend none of this happened. If she goes with you, the partying and the women will stop.”
“I don’t even care about those things anymore. All I can think about is being near her and keeping her safe. If I told her that I am leaving, I’m almost positive she would have a breakdown. There’s no doubt in my mind that she would willingly get on that plane and leave with me. I just want her to leave you here when she does.”
“I’m not strong enough to let her go,” Phoenix whispered.
“Don’t be selfish, vampire. Do it for her. She can be happy again.”
“How much time do I have with her?”
“My pride and I are leaving after the celebration of her Beta choosing on the full moon. You have four days. Get your closure. Prepare to say your goodbyes. And watch your boundaries; she isn’t yours anymore.”
Phoenix watched the lion leave, utterly conflicted, squeezing the vial between his fingers. He had a choice to make, but the question was, was he strong enough to make it?
Chapter 57
Mena
The torment I was putting him through made me ache inside. His touch, any kind of physical contact, seemed to calm us both down, immediately.
Part of me was missing when I was with Ace, but when I was away from him it felt like my world would shatter at any moment. Would this vicious power that had us bound ever ease up? Sometimes I felt as though it was crushing me.
Feeling the slow rise and fall of his chest at my back, I placed my hand on his arm that was wrapped around me and snuggled in closer. Did I feel like I was cheating on Phoenix? No. None of this with Ace was sexual to me. I just needed him near me, touching my skin, sort of like a child with a security blanket. Would I feel like I was cheating on Ace if I could ever make myself leave his side long enough to go to Phoenix?
I sighed.
The answer to that one was a big, fat yes.
From the moment Ace had connected our souls, I had felt possessive, territorial and down right clingy. I didn’t like the feeling at all—it wasn’t me—but, like I said before, I was hoping it would calm down after a little time had passed. And I honestly meant little time, as in today. Being away from Phoenix was tearing me apart.
Phoenix hadn’t called or texted—though I had no clue where my cell phone even was. It was probably still in his chamber. Nor had he knocked on the door of the room Ace was staying in, and I was afraid he was mad at me for not responding to him after I took control of my wolf and Ace carried me upstairs. I hadn’t known what to say to Phoenix; I still didn’t know what to say to him.
Ace consumed me, but my love for Phoenix was still there, stronger than ever. He had followed through on one of his promises, finding another Alpha to save everyone, but I was still waiting for the happiness he’d promised me. I wasn’t happy. I was confused. I needed Ace, but I wanted Phoenix.
Easily enough, Ace had searched through my memories, and he knew how I felt about Phoenix. He wasn’t happy about it, especially since I still had these feelings after bonding with him. I suppose he thought my love for Phoenix would just dissipate and wither away since our souls were connected. I knew it never would.
He discovered through m
y mind that a large number of my pack were hunting me, and he vowed to be by my side through it all. After everything I had overcome in the last few weeks, defeating Jessica and taking order over my pack seemed like a child’s game now. Almost too easy. I prayed I wasn’t wrong.
Andromeda? Yes, she was still there, but she had absolutely no control over me. The best part was that I didn’t hear her voice in my head anymore. I knew I could call her whenever I wanted and she would obey my every command.
For the first time since I’d been bitten, I felt like an Alpha.
I could have changed the name she’d chosen after I called it out, and picked anything I wanted my new name to be, but I decided to keep it. It was pretty, for one. It fit my situation, too. Andromeda, daughter of King Cepheus and Cassiopeia, sentenced to death for being too pretty, but just as she was about to be eaten by a monster, Perseus sweeps in to save her.
I’d always loved that story, and I suppose my wolf chose that particular name as a joke. Well, the joke was on her now, wasn’t it?
I sighed again as I thought of Phoenix. Ace, like Perseus, had been the one who saved me, but I wanted Adonis.
“He’s giving you time,” Ace said through my mind.
If I had been paying attention, I would have noticed his breathing pattern had changed. Too late now.
“I need food,” I said out loud.
“Want me to fix you something?” he said, and then put his cheek against my shoulder, breathing in my scent.
“What time is it?”
He reached across my body to the bedside table and turned the alarm clock toward us. “3:42 p.m. There is food in the fridge. I’ll make you anything you want.”
As I started to turn toward him, my hand brushed against something soft under my pillow. My fingers closed around the item and I pulled it out, so we could both see.
Ace stared open-mouthed at a pair of girl’s panties dangling from the tips of my fingers. I dropped them, feeling an unnatural heat rise to my face.
“I can explain those,” he said quietly.
“No need. I already saw everything in your head last night.”
“Right,” he sighed, “no secrets anymore, at least not from you. I’ve never been ashamed before. It’s not a great feeling. I’m sorry. I can feel that you’re angry.”
“I don’t even know why I am—”
“Because I’m yours,” he said, and I didn’t have to look inside his head to know that he was being one-hundred percent truthful; it was written all over his face; he considered himself mine. He glanced toward the window as he finished. “It’s the same feeling I get when you think about him. Because you are mine.”
“I love him, Ace.”
“I know, but I wish you didn’t. It would make this a lot easier on both of us.”
“I won’t apologize for the way I feel.”
“I’ll never ask you to.”
God, why did I feel like shit all of a sudden?
“Food.”
He nodded, sensing that I needed the subject to change. “What would you like?”
“I want to go out and get something. I’ve been locked in a cage for two weeks. I need to shower first. Do you mind asking Lea to bring me some of my clothes from Phoenix’s closet? I’m not ready to see him yet, and I know he will want to talk.”
Running his palm down my arm, he laced our fingers together. Our anxiety rose at the thought of us being apart for only the length of time it would take me to shower. I was torn between wanting the bond to ease up and being terrified that it would. It scared me how much I needed him to be close to me, but I could feel that he was experiencing the same emotion. At least I wasn’t alone in this, though I wouldn’t wish something like this on my worst enemy.
“I’ll be right back.” He squeezed my hand one last time then threw back the covers and walked to the door. Chaos jumped up from his pallet and followed after him.
Ace had on pajama bottoms and a t-shirt. I guess he thought it would make me uncomfortable if I woke up with him naked beside me. It wouldn’t have bothered me, really. Like I said before, there wasn’t anything sexual between us. I wasn’t ready to let my mind go there. I’m sure the sex would be great, but—
“It would be… mind-blowing,” Ace said, breaking into my thoughts.
I huffed as I threw back the cover and stomped to the bathroom. “A little privacy would be nice!” Memories of the last uninvited mind-guest surfaced, although this was so different, they dissipated almost as quickly as they came.
He snickered. “I’ll be quiet and let you fantasize about me nekkid.”
I growled in frustration as I flipped the shower lever up to HOT.
“Andra?”
I sighed. “What?”
“You’re sexy when you’re irritated.”
I laughed. “Piss off, Ace.”
His chuckle sounded low, like he was far off or in a tunnel. That was different. “Ace?” No response. “Ace!” Still nothing from him. Panicking, I shut the water off and ran for the door, but just as I got there, it burst open and he ran into the room, his face white with panic.
“What is it?” he shouted.
I trembled as he wrapped me in his arms. “I couldn’t hear you anymore. I couldn’t feel you.”
Breathless, he swore silently as his fingers gently rubbed my back. “I know. The mind-reading thing has a short range on it. I’m okay. We’re okay.”
I rested my ear against his chest and listened to his heart pound. This damn bond was going to drive us mad as hatters.
“Go shower. I haven’t found Lea yet. I’ll go get your clothes if I have to. I’ll be back, Andra. Five minutes tops.”
I nodded, and he kissed the top of my head before leaving the room.
Mena
I was freaking starved!
I ignored Ace’s amused expression and the server’s there-is-no-way-in-hell-you’re-going-to-eat-all-this look as he jotted down my order.
Food had been brought to me while I was locked up, but my wolf refused to eat any of it, convinced she was doing a good job of punishing me for betraying her.
Fifteen days! Fifteen days, she tried to starve me to death. What a bitch!
I would have eaten something last night after the bonding, but I was too exhausted and so confused by everything that I didn’t have an appetite.
It was back full force now.
Ace scratched his eyebrow with his thumbnail. At the same time a shy smile curved his lips. “I guess this is our first date. I’m really glad you’re not a salad and water girl.”
I smiled. “I like salad.”
He laughed. “I know, but usually girls act like that’s all they eat until they’ve got a guy hooked, then they start ordering steak, lobster and cheeseburgers.”
“Well, I’ve already got you hooked, so we can call this the fourth date, if you like.” I smiled at him, while my eyes were glued to his. They were the color of amber, the gemstone hardened from tree sap, millions of years old, gaining beauty as it aged. It was probably appropriate, as Ace was over a century old, and had more wisdom than he let on. But that thought filled me with a pang of shame. Even though I knew it was the bonding, I was still turning my back on Phoenix. And it hurt. That I could be that woman.
His expression turned somber as he whispered through my thoughts. “How many dates do you make the guy wait before you have sex with them? ‘Cause if it’s four, I’m totally onboard with this being our fourth date.”
I took a drink of my soda and thought about it. I had only been with two men, not counting Alex. I refused to make that mark on my bedpost; it hadn’t been me he’d had sex with. I was seventeen and a virgin when I’d met Marc, and there had been many more than four dates before he even got close to my panties. Phoenix, on the other hand, well, we’d never actually gone on a real date, but it was over two weeks from the time we met before we had sex the first time.
“You could just sift through my memories and find out for yourself. Why ask?�
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“Isn’t the fun part of being in a relationship getting to know someone? I’m really trying to stay out of your head. I respect your privacy, Andra.”
“A lot more than four dates,” I said, and watched as his grin spread.
“I knew you were going to make me work for it.”
“We’re not having sex, Ace. Our relationship doesn’t have to be like that. You know I’m with Phoenix. You can be with whomever you like.”
Feeling someone’s anger was a lot different from seeing it. I had to look away from him as he glared at me. My hands trembled on the table, so I placed them in my lap and curled my fingers in as his fury swept through my body. Idly, I watched the waitress as she filled coffee cups, listened to the clanging of silverware, all in an attempt to escape his anger. As soon as he spoke, though, I realized the futility of my little exercise.
“Do you honestly think you wouldn’t want to kill any girl I take to my bed from now on unless that girl is you? Do you really think I could even touch any other girl but you? It makes me sick to even think about it. What I don’t understand is how you can. I know you’re feeling just as much of this shit as I am.”
“I’m sorry—”
“You know what I think?” He didn’t wait for a theory from me. “I think that you remember you loved him and you want to want to love him again so badly that you’re miserable trying to make it happen.”
My eyes locked with his, and I shook my head. “I still love—”
“How do you know, Andra? You haven’t been to see him. You haven’t asked for your phone so you could call him. Seems to me that when someone loves another person, they would at least make that much effort.”
“You know I can’t—”
“You can’t what? Go to him? Because of me? I’ll take you back to him right now if that’s what you want, but what will happen if I leave the room? Huh? It won’t be sex, I’ll tell you that much. Do you know why you won’t be able to have sex with him?” He pointed at his chest as he spoke. “Because he’s not me!”
Midnight Moonrising Page 35