Jordan smiled. “I’m glad to hear that. Since tonight’s your last night with us, I’m going to re-measure your range of motion and strength like I did on that first night you came in. Lie back and get comfortable. This won’t hurt a bit.” She winked at Kirsten and performed the same procedures she had done on Kirsten’s first appointment. When she was done, she wrote some notes in her chart and led Kirsten out into the gym.
“Carrie, will you take Kirsten through her exercises please? I’m going to write up her discharge report so she can take it with her to give to the doctor tomorrow. Kirsten, I’ll see you before you leave.”
Jordan returned to her desk to write the report and started reminiscing on the nearly eight weeks she had spent with Kirsten. She was pleased Kirsten had responded so well to her treatment, and she had to admit, she was going to miss Kirsten. She hoped she would still see her occasionally at the basketball games and possibly Lucy’s. Maybe they could even have dinner occasionally. Not as a date, really. More as friends. Kirsten had said she’d wanted to be friends, and friends have dinner. She and Alex shared meals often. So why was she so antsy about having dinner with a friend?
Because you’ve never been attracted to any of your friends before. And you know there might be something more.
Pushing that thought aside, she placed the finished report in an envelope and returned to Kirsten, who was now icing her knee.
“Well, did I pass?” Kirsten asked, sounding hopeful.
Jordan chuckled. “Oh, you passed all right. You have met your program goals, Ms. Murphy, so I’m cutting you loose.”
“You’re cutting me loose? I’m totally done?”
“Yep. Your range of motion and strength are normal, and you’re able to hike again. I think our job here is done.”
Kirsten took a deep breath “Do you have plans tonight after work?”
“Um, no. Why?” Jordan’s heart hammered in her chest. She had just been thinking about having dinner with Kirsten as friends, but this felt like more. What happened to your little pep talk a few minutes ago, Roberts? Nothing wrong with having dinner with a friend. You’re not going to do anything to fuck up the possibility of being able to hang out with Kirsten by letting your libido get in the way.
Kirsten looked down and slowly rubbed her hands along her legs. “I would like to take you out to dinner to, um, thank you for everything you’ve done for me.”
“That’s not really necessary, Kirsten. I was just doing my job.” Why does Kirsten seem nervous? Or is she shy? I’ve never known her to be shy with me before. This doesn’t make any sense.
“I know it’s not necessary, but I want to. Please?”
Jordan gulped. “Uh, okay, sure. Where would you like to go?”
“Do you like Mexican? We could go to Ricardo’s.”
“That sounds good.” She removed the ice from Kirsten’s knee and helped her gather her things before she walked her to the door. Kirsten stopped and looked at her.
“Are you done for the night? We could drive over together.”
Jordan’s pulse raced at the thought of spending more alone time with Kirsten. “I don’t want you to have to bring me back here after dinner. I can just follow you.”
“It’s not a problem. My place is in the opposite direction of the restaurant, so I’d be passing back by here anyway.”
Kirsten looked so hopeful that she agreed. “Okay, if you’re sure. Let me go straighten up my desk and grab my purse.”
Jordan walked back to her office with a feeling of uncertainty flowing through her. She really liked Kirsten, and she was certainly attracted to her, but they could never be more than friends. Not that Kirsten had given any indication she was interested in more than friendship. She was straight, for Christ’s sake. Even if she did show interest, there was no way in hell Jordan was traveling that road again. But Kirsten seemed like she’d be a good friend to have. Right, then. Friends it is.
She grabbed her purse and walked back to the waiting room where Kirsten was sitting, asking herself the entire time what there was to be so nervous about if they were only friends.
*
Jordan and Kirsten arrived at the restaurant and were seated at a table for two. The waiter arrived with a basket of chips and a bowl of salsa and asked for their drink orders. After he left to fulfill the order, Jordan started looking around the restaurant. She appeared to be deliberately looking everywhere except at Kirsten. She picked up a chip, dipped it in the salsa, and put it in her mouth.
Kirsten watched as Jordan wiped her hands on her pants. Jordan appeared almost nervous, which puzzled her because Jordan had always displayed a self-confidence that was now nowhere to be seen. The waiter arrived with their drinks and placed Kirsten’s margarita and Jordan’s beer in front of them. They ordered their dinners, and the waiter left them once again.
“So, Jordan, tell me something. When I came in for my first appointment, you had mentioned that you had been in my position before. What did you mean by that?”
Jordan squeezed the lime into her beer and took a sip. “I blew my knee out when I was playing basketball in college and had to go through months of physical therapy after surgery.”
“Is that what made you want to be a therapist?”
Jordan smiled. “Yep. I figured with all of the injuries I’ve had playing sports and my experience as a patient, I could empathize with the people I treat. Becoming a physical therapist was the best decision I’ve ever made.”
Jordan’s eyes lit up as she was talking about her work. “What do you love most about it?”
“Well, I love being able to help people the way my therapist helped me. It’s something that I always have to be creative with because not everyone will respond to the same treatment. I love the challenge it gives me, and I love meeting new people who need my help. I understand how debilitating an injury can be, and I just try my best to get people back to their sports, jobs, or other activities that have been difficult for them.”
“I certainly appreciate you helping me. I couldn’t believe how much it improved after just a few visits. I could tell while you were treating me how much you love your job. It made me feel good to see how much you cared.”
Jordan reached over, placed a hand over hers, and looked into her eyes. “I do care.”
Kirsten gasped and froze. She couldn’t move. Jordan’s gaze had her pinned, and she heard a whooshing sound in her head. Jordan smiled, pulled her hand away, and sat back in her chair, taking another pull of her beer. Kirsten brought her margarita to her mouth and took three big gulps before placing the glass back down on the table. Her hand was shaking.
The waiter brought out their food then, and they dug in.
“When did you start playing basketball?” Kirsten asked.
Jordan nodded as she swallowed her first bite. “I started playing in elementary school. One of my friends was playing on a peewee team, and her dad was the coach. I was over at her house after school one day, and her dad asked me if I wanted to play. I was tall for my age and as coordinated as a ten-year-old could be. My parents thought it would be a good way to work off my excess energy, and it was.” Jordan took a sip of her beer and continued. “By eighth grade, I was beginning to see the potential I had and thought if I worked hard enough, I could get a basketball scholarship.”
“You were thinking that when you were that young? What were you? Thirteen?”
Jordan laughed. “Yeah, about that. I won the MVP trophy for my eighth grade team that year, and that summer, I begged my parents to sign me up for basketball camp. I played every chance I got. I would dribble my basketball down to the nearest schoolyard and shoot baskets until it was nearly dark. I would lie in my bed at night shooting the basketball into the air, working on my form. Even if I was playing another sport, basketball wasn’t far from my heart.”
Kirsten was taken with mental images of a thirteen-year-old Jordan with her scrawny body and spindly legs taking on the other kids on the basketball court. Her h
eart melted. “What other sports did you play?”
“I played softball and volleyball, but mostly to keep active when it wasn’t basketball season. I really did love volleyball, almost as much as basketball, but I felt I had a better chance to go to college on a basketball scholarship, so I concentrated more on that.”
Jordan launched into stories about her college years and soon had her laughing at the pranks she and her teammates had played on each other. Jordan told her about the time she’d tried to pierce her athletic trainer’s ear in her hotel room but had been too squeamish to puncture the lobe, and Kirsten was nearly in tears by the end of the tale.
Kirsten was enjoying getting to know Jordan better. She didn’t want their time together to end, but it was getting late, and she had work the next day, so when the waiter asked if they wanted anything else, she asked for the check. As the waiter placed the bill on the table, Jordan reached for it, and Kirsten stopped her with a glare.
“Let go of the bill, Jordan. This is my treat.”
Jordan removed her hand and held up both in surrender. Kirsten paid the bill, and they walked back to the car. The ten-minute ride back to the clinic was comfortably quiet. She pulled next to Jordan’s SUV, and Jordan unhooked her seat belt and turned to face her.
“Thank you again for dinner, Kirsten. I had a great time with you tonight. I’m going to miss seeing you in the clinic.”
“You’re welcome. I’m going to miss coming here. I’m just going to have to find something else to keep me busy three nights a week.”
Jordan shot her a wry grin. “I hope to see you around sometime.”
Before she knew what she was doing, Kirsten unhooked her seat belt and reached over to give Jordan a hug. She felt an inexplicable connection to her, especially after hearing Jordan’s stories over dinner. She closed her eyes and took in Jordan’s scent with a deep breath then released it. As soon as they parted, Jordan grabbed her purse and said good night.
Jordan got into her vehicle and backed out of the parking space. With a quick wave, she was gone. Kirsten drove home, reflecting on their dinner together. Jordan was a puzzle; at times very self-confident, then quiet and shy. She could be a little flirtatious but also a bit demure. When Jordan looked at her, it was like she was looking into her soul. She was comfortable with Jordan most of the time, but when Jordan touched her, even fleetingly, her world felt a little off-kilter. Not necessarily in a bad way, but it definitely made her feel as if life as she knew it would somehow be different.
Chapter Nineteen
To celebrate her last therapy appointment, Kirsten and Brenda went hiking at Peter’s Canyon the following Saturday. It was a cool June morning, still gray and overcast, known to Southern Californians as June Gloom. It was perfect weather for hiking.
They’d officially made this a weekly outing, a regularly scheduled time when they could enjoy each other’s company and talk about what had been going on in their lives. Brenda revealed she’d started dating a woman she’d met through one of her teammates, an ex of an ex, or something like that. In the little over a year they had been friends, Kirsten knew of only two other women Brenda had dated. While her own marriage was in the beginning of the end, she was happy Brenda was seeing someone.
Kirsten’s knee felt fine during the hike. She hadn’t experienced even a twinge of pain. Thinking of that made her start thinking of Jordan. She had planned on going to Brenda’s game that night—partly to support her, and partly in hopes of seeing Jordan. It might have only been a few days since they had seen each other, but she was really missing her. She’d found herself thinking of Jordan often. When she’d dropped Jordan off after dinner the other night, she’d hoped that was the start of a new friendship.
Brenda and Kirsten finished up their hike, arrived back at their cars, and bid each other good-bye. They’d agreed to meet at the gym later, as Kirsten was going to meet John to discuss the future of their marriage.
John arrived at the home they’d once shared a little after four that afternoon. Kirsten’s stomach flipped in nervous anticipation when she heard his car pull into the driveway. She opened the door and stiffened when John hugged her as if nothing were different between them.
She wasn’t sure how she felt about seeing him for the first time since he’d left their home. They had talked on the phone a couple of times since then, but having his arms around her made her uncomfortable. The hug felt unfamiliar to her. They walked into the kitchen, and Kirsten poured them each a glass of iced tea. Then they sat together at the kitchen table.
“How are you doing, John?” Kirsten’s muscles tensed.
John took a sip of his drink and sighed. “To tell you the truth, I’m sad.” He looked over the table at her. “I miss you.”
Kirsten was stunned, since it had been John who’d decided he’d wanted the separation in the first place. “I thought this is what you wanted.”
“I thought so, too. Now, I’m not so sure. I think I may have acted too soon regarding this separation. I was so stressed out over the trial, I just wasn’t thinking clearly. I didn’t realize how damned hard this would be. But since I’ve been gone, I realized how much I miss you and that I took you—and our marriage—for granted.” John’s voice broke.
Kirsten’s hands were shaking, and she folded them in her lap to hide the trembling from him. “I don’t know what to say.” His words should have had some effect on her, but all she felt was empty.
“Say that you’ll give me another chance. Please, baby. I want to come home.”
Tears began to well into Kirsten’s eyes. She was completely dumbfounded by John’s words. Did she even want to save this marriage? She’d thought she did when they’d first separated, but now she wasn’t sure. She had been reflecting on their relationship a lot, and thoughts that they had grown apart and that she didn’t feel the same for him anymore had been foremost in her mind. She couldn’t put her finger on it, but something inside her had changed. An image of Jordan smiling flashed through her mind, and her stomach did somersaults.
“I don’t know if that’s a good idea. We’ve grown apart, maybe too much, and it might be too late to fix this.” Kirsten’s lower lip started trembling as the tears began to fall. She still loved him, but she didn’t think she could ever fall back in love with him again.
John moved his chair closer. He looked close to tears as he wrapped his arms tightly around her. “Shh, it’s okay, baby. I’ve got you. I can’t promise I won’t freak out again, but I can promise that I’ll do anything I can to make this marriage work and to be a better husband to you.”
Kirsten wiped the tears from her eyes and pulled out of his embrace. “I can’t make a decision about this right now.”
“I understand. But will you at least think about it? I love you, Kirsten, and I want to give our marriage another chance.”
“I will.”
John took her in his arms and kissed her on top of her head. “Okay, take as much time as you need. Please know that I love you.”
She nodded and walked John to the door. “I’ll talk to you soon, okay?”
John kissed her on her cheek, turned, and walked to his car.
What the hell just happened? I thought John was going to say he wanted a divorce, but instead wants to get back together? Kirsten paced the living room and ran her fingers through her hair in frustration. She contemplated calling Brenda to cancel, but what would she do at home? Sulk? Cry? Scream? She decided being with Brenda was a lot better than being alone tonight.
On autopilot, Kirsten headed to the bathroom to take a shower. She stood under the spray and let the hot water try to soothe her nerves. John’s declaration had shocked her, and she wasn’t sure what she thought about it. She stepped out of the shower and toweled herself dry. What happened for him to want to come back? Does he really miss me, or does he miss being married?
She styled her hair, applied a touch of mascara and lipstick, and dabbed some perfume behind her ears. Is he still in love with me, or
is he in love with the idea of having someone? In the end, she decided it didn’t matter. This wasn’t just about him. She had to do what was right for herself. She took one last look at herself in the full-length mirrored closet door. Satisfied with her style, she headed down the stairs.
Kirsten arrived at the gym about five minutes before the game was about to start and found her way into the bleachers to sit behind Brenda’s bench. She looked to the far end of the gym and was delighted to see Jordan shooting baskets. She’d been aware that Brenda’s team would be playing Jordan’s and was pleased that she would be able to watch Jordan play a full game.
“Hello, Kirsten.” A voice broke into her musing. “I don’t know if you remember me. I’m Alex, Jordan’s friend. We met a while ago at Lucy’s.” Alex extended her hand.
“Yes, of course, Alex. How are you? Would you like to sit with me?” She shook Alex’s hand and pointed to the empty space beside her.
“Sure, thanks.” Alex sat next to her on the hard wooden bleachers. “I’m doing well. How are you?”
“I’m good. I’m here to watch my friend Brenda, and it so happens she’s playing Jordan’s team.”
“Seems like it. Jordan invited me to the game, and then we’re going out afterward.”
“Oh? Where are you headed?”
“Probably to Lucy’s. It’s only a couple of blocks from Jordan’s house, so we can just walk over and not worry about driving after we’ve had a few drinks.”
Kirsten nodded her head. She noticed Alex said we a lot and that made her a little jealous. She still wasn’t sure if Jordan and Alex were just friends or something more. “That’s a good idea. I think we’re headed there, too.”
The buzzer sounded through the gym, and the players headed to their respective benches. Jordan took a seat on a chair and removed her sweats. After receiving last-minute instructions from the coach, she stood, walked out to center court, and waited for the remaining players to join her.
New Beginnings Page 8