Kirsten had only made it through about half of the list by lunchtime, and she was emotionally exhausted. Most of the employees had been polite and appreciative of the severance package they’d been offered, but there had been a few who had left the office yelling, swearing, and calling her any name they could think of.
Kirsten ate the sandwich that her assistant had brought her and called Jordan’s cell. She wasn’t sure if Jordan would be at lunch yet, but she wanted to try anyway.
She was disappointed when she got Jordan’s voicemail, but just the sound of Jordan’s voice helped calm her roiling stomach. “Hi, honey, I was hoping to catch you, but I guess you’re still seeing patients. Don’t worry about calling me back because I’m about to start round two. I’ll see you tonight. Bye.”
The rest of Kirsten’s afternoon went much like her morning, and she didn’t think she had ever been so eager to finish work in her entire life. She was relieved when she finally asked Julie to retrieve the last employee on her list. She was positive she wouldn’t have been able to take much more. She felt the life being sucked out of her with every employee she met, and she was completely drained. At that moment, she wanted only to go home, fall into bed, and sleep for days.
The last employee of the day was the one who broke Kirsten’s resolve. When she opened the door to admit Emma Meyer, the young woman burst into tears. For a second, Kirsten thought she might start to cry also, but she had to stay strong to finish the job. She somehow knew this would be the most difficult layoff she had to face, and she was grateful this would be the last one. She put her arm around the young woman’s shoulders and led her to the chair.
“Ms. Meyer, may I get you a drink of water?” Kirsten handed her a tissue and a bottle of water then took a seat next to her, envelope in hand. She could see the woman was trying hard to stop the flow of her tears, and she fought desperately to control her own emotions, but it was getting increasingly difficult as the stress of the day was finally catching up to her.
“Ms. Meyer, I’m sure you’re aware of why we are meeting, but let me just assure you, this has nothing to do with your performance with the company. Your service here has been exemplary, and your supervisor speaks very highly of you. Unfortunately, we have to close this office, and we didn’t have any openings for your position in our other offices.”
Kirsten opened the envelope she was holding and handed Emma the papers. “This is the severance package you will be receiving. Enclosed, you will find a check for six months’ salary, and your medical benefits will remain intact for six months as well.”
Emma began sobbing again and dropped her head into her hands as her body shook.
“I’m so sorry, Ms. Meyer. If there were any other way—”
Emma held up a hand and waved her off. “You don’t understand, Ms. Murphy. I’m actually grateful for this generous package. You see, my six-year-old son was recently diagnosed with acute lymphocytic leukemia.”
“Oh, Emma, I’m so sorry.”
“Luckily, we caught it early enough, and the doctors seem optimistic. Dylan is set to start chemotherapy next week, and I was going to take time off work to be with him, but our finances were going to be tight. With what you’ve given me today, I can be with him all day and night, and his medical bills will be covered. You just gave me a wonderful gift, Ms. Murphy.”
Emma stood and hugged her. “I’ll go clean off my desk now.” Emma reached the door then turned back. “Ms. Murphy, would you do me a favor and notify me if any positions come up in any of the other offices? I’ve enjoyed my time here. This is a wonderful company, and I would like to be a part of it in the future.”
Kirsten nodded. “It would be a privilege to have you back with us, Ms. Meyer. Good luck, and if I can do anything else, please don’t hesitate to call me.”
Emma closed the door behind her, and Kirsten dropped into her chair and allowed the tears she had been holding at bay to fall.
*
Jordan was sitting in the driveway when Kirsten pulled in. She exited her car and opened Kirsten’s door. Her heart sank when she saw that Kirsten’s eyes were red and swollen. Jordan wrapped her tightly in a hug, and Kirsten cried into her chest.
“Come on, baby, let’s get you inside.”
She helped Kirsten out of the car and grabbed her briefcase before leading Kirsten into the house. She walked Kirsten over to the couch, then went into the kitchen to pour them Irish whiskey on the rocks. Jordan wasn’t much of a hard alcohol drinker, but she had a feeling tonight she could make an exception.
She placed their glasses on the coffee table, then knelt in front of Kirsten to remove her shoes. She then unbuttoned her suit jacket and draped it over the back of the couch. She sat next to Kirsten and urged her to lie down and place her head in her lap.
Jordan brushed her fingers through Kirsten’s hair as Kirsten began to cry. She kissed Kirsten’s forehead and alternated between running her fingers through Kirsten’s hair and rubbing her temple with her thumb.
After a few long moments, Kirsten sat up, took a healthy swallow of her whiskey, and grabbed a tissue to wipe her eyes. Then Kirsten lay back down on her side, this time facing her, and wrapped her arms around Jordan’s body.
Kirsten recounted the day’s events, ending with Emma and her son, which brought more tears. Jordan’s heart broke for Kirsten, Emma, and her son. She saw how drained Kirsten was and could tell by the way she spoke that she had no more to give. Seeing how affected Kirsten had been by today sparked a protectiveness in her. She wished there were a way to take away her pain. She cupped the back of Kirsten’s head and held her close.
“It sounds like this was a blessing in disguise for Emma, honey.”
“I know,” Kirsten mumbled into her body. “But I’m heartbroken that her son is so sick. I don’t know what I would do if that happened to one of my children.”
Jordan had no idea that Kirsten wanted to have kids. They hadn’t gotten around to discussing a family, and with the exception of the brief daydream she’d had the morning after she’d injured her ankle, she hadn’t allowed herself to consider the idea for seven years.
She’d never expected to be in another relationship, therefore she’d never seen children as part of her future. She loved children and couldn’t wait until her sister made her an aunt, but being a parent wasn’t something that had crossed her mind in many years. This was something she and Kirsten would have to talk about in the future. The idea of parenting with Kirsten wasn’t nearly as terrifying as she thought it would be, but she was still too afraid of the possibility of getting hurt. She trusted Kirsten, but their relationship was still too new not to be a little cautious.
“You would do whatever you had to for your child, and you would fight fiercely. Hopefully, that will never be a concern for you.”
Kirsten sat up and looked at her with red-rimmed eyes. “Have you thought about having children?”
“Honestly, I haven’t for quite some time.” When Kirsten stiffened, she placed her hand on Kirsten’s leg. “I just never saw myself being in another relationship, let alone having kids. I didn’t want to have children if I didn’t have a partner to share in being a parent. Not to say there aren’t plenty of wonderful single moms out there, but that’s not what I want. Actually, thinking about it now, I could see myself being a mom.”
Kirsten threw both arms around her and nuzzled into her neck. “You’d make a wonderful mom, Jordan.”
Jordan kissed Kirsten on the top of the head. “So would you, baby.”
Chapter Forty-four
Saturday morning, Jordan woke to birds chirping and the sun shining. Kirsten had slept fitfully the night before, which in turn had caused her to sleep fitfully. It was almost nine when she finally opened her eyes.
Jordan pulled Kirsten closer to kiss her good morning. “How would you like to go to the farmers’ market this morning? We could pick up some fresh fruits and veggies and see what some of the other vendors are selling.”
&nb
sp; “That sounds nice. Let’s get cleaned up, and we can grab a quick breakfast on the way.”
Kirsten started the shower. Jordan followed and took her time bathing Kirsten’s body lovingly. They both dressed in shorts and T-shirts, and for the first time, Jordan saw Kirsten wearing a baseball cap with her hair pulled through the opening in the back. Her heart melted at the sight. Apparently, Kirsten was stunning no matter what she wore.
The farmers’ market wasn’t too far from Kirsten’s house, so they decided to walk. They stopped at nearly every stand, picking up eggplant, squash, and mushrooms to grill, along with some melon, apples, and strawberries to make a fruit salad.
They walked hand in hand through the aisles, and Jordan was looking at Kirsten and laughing at something she’d said when she accidentally bumped into another person.
“Excuse me, I’m sor—” Jordan looked at the woman and froze, not believing who was standing in front of her. She was suddenly very cold inside, like ice water was running through her veins. She wanted to turn and flee as fast as she could, to outrun the images of Kelly fucking her teacher’s assistant that replayed in her head. She wanted to escape, but her feet felt bolted to the ground.
“Hi, Jordan.”
“Kelly.” Jordan’s body betrayed her and wouldn’t move.
“Kelly?” she heard Kirsten say. “The Kelly?”
Jordan nodded, unable to look away from her ex-lover. The squeeze Kirsten gave her hand eased her anxiety. Jordan trembled, and she was pissed that Kelly still had that much of an effect on her.
Though Jordan hadn’t seen Kelly in seven years, she didn’t look much different. She had a few more wrinkles around her eyes and had gained a few pounds, but she was still a good-looking woman.
Jordan’s body tensed as she recalled their last interaction. She had returned to the apartment they’d shared a week after she’d discovered Kelly in their bed with her TA.
Kelly had tried to apologize; she’d said she’d made a mistake and didn’t want to live without her. Jordan’s fists clenched as she remembered the yelling and crying, how Kelly had tried to hold and kiss her, and how she had pushed Kelly away. The woman who stood before her had ripped her heart out and had then wanted forgiveness and to spend their lives together. Jordan had told her to go to hell and that she’d never wanted to see her again.
The very last thing she had heard about Kelly had been that she’d moved out of state after they’d graduated from college. That had been a huge relief, as she’d thought she would never have to see Kelly again. But here she was, standing right in front of her.
Kelly looked over at Kirsten before turning back to Jordan. “How are you?”
Jordan shook herself out of her stupor. “I’m great. This is Kirsten. Kirsten, this is Kelly.”
Kirsten squeezed her hand tighter, and she winced at the pain. When she saw how tense Kirsten appeared, almost like she wanted to rip Kelly apart, her heart swelled. She gave Kirsten’s hand a gentle press to let her know she was okay.
Kirsten visibly relaxed then extended her hand to Kelly. “It’s nice to meet you. Honey, would you mind if I went over there?” Kirsten pointed to the vendor selling flowers. “I’ll be right back.”
Jordan nodded and accepted her kiss before she walked away. She studied Kirsten’s back as she went, grateful for her understanding. Then she turned back to Kelly. “What are you doing here? I heard you moved out of town after we graduated.”
“I did. I’m just in town for a few days to visit some friends.” She nodded her head in Kirsten’s direction. “She seems nice. Have you been together long?”
“Not that it’s any of your business, but no, we haven’t been together long.”
“Huh.”
Jordan’s anger was starting to surface. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”
Kelly held her hand up and said, “Settle down, Jordan. I had just heard through the grapevine that you don’t really date. It just surprised me is all.”
Jordan glanced back to Kirsten, who was smelling different bouquets of flowers. “I didn’t, but Kirsten is special. She’s been the first one since…” She didn’t want to continue that thought, so she changed directions. “Kirsten’s different. We had a connection from the very beginning, something I’ve never felt before.”
Kelly stepped closer and put a hand on her arm. “I’m so sorry I hurt you. I still kick myself for what I did to you and the way I treated you. I hope one day you can forgive me.”
Jordan saw the sincerity in Kelly’s eyes and decided it was time to finally let it go or at least try. What did Grandma used to say to me? Being unable to forgive someone is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die? I don’t want to drink the poison anymore.
“Thank you for saying that. I haven’t been ready or able to forgive you, but I am now. I see that what we had wasn’t going to last. It was special—you were special—but it wasn’t true love. I know that now that I’m with Kirsten. You and I were just kids and didn’t have what it took to make a lifelong commitment.”
Jordan looked over at Kirsten and smiled when Kirsten winked at her. That one wink settled her world. Kirsten was the anchor in her storm. She turned back to Kelly. “I wish you the best, Kelly. You take care.” She turned and began walking over to Kirsten, to her love, to her future.
When Jordan finally reached her, Kirsten pulled a gorgeous bouquet of stargazer lilies out from behind her back and presented them to her.
“They’re lovely, thank you.” She pulled Kirsten into a heartfelt hug.
“Are you okay, sweetheart?”
“I’m more than okay. Thank you for giving us a few minutes to clear the air.” She stepped back and cupped Kirsten’s cheek. “Being with you has given me the ability to finally forgive Kelly. Thank you for that gift.”
“I’m not sure how I did that, but I would do anything for you. You know that, right?”
“I do, and the same goes for me. Let’s go and get these flowers into a vase.”
Jordan held Kirsten’s hand as they walked back to the house. She was in awe of Kirsten. That Kirsten cared enough about her to trust her to do something she had needed to do for seven years was touching. She hadn’t acted jealous. She hadn’t been rude. She’d behaved with Jordan’s best interest at heart. She felt the stress of betrayal leave her body. For the first time in years, Jordan felt at peace.
Chapter Forty-five
The next afternoon found Jordan sitting at a table fidgeting, waiting for Alex to meet her for lunch. She had so much to tell her that she was about ready to burst. If Alex didn’t get there soon, she was going to kill her.
When Alex finally arrived, she kissed her hello and then took a seat across from her. “What’s going on?” Alex asked.
Jordan’s grin grew wider. “I’m in love.”
Alex laughed and shook her head. “Well, duh. You’re just figuring that out now?”
Jordan laughed, too. “You know how slow I am on the uptake.”
“Uh-huh. That’s exactly what I think of you. So, tell me how you came to this conclusion.”
“Kirsten and I went to the farmers’ market yesterday, and we ran into Kelly.”
“What? What is that bitch doing back? I wish I had been with you. I would have kicked her ass.”
“It’s okay. Kelly and I were able to clear the air. She apologized for hurting me. I told her that now that I’m with Kirsten, I realized what she and I had wasn’t enough to have a future together.”
“What did Kirsten do?”
“She behaved a lot better than you would have.” She smirked at the look of indignation on Alex’s face. “She was protective of me but polite to Kelly. She gave us some time to talk while she kept an eye on me from a flower vendor. While we were walking home, I felt all of the stress I had been holding on to when it came to Kelly just evaporate. Kirsten trusted me enough to give me some time alone with Kelly to talk, and it gave me the closure I needed. Kirsten and I have gone i
nto this with eyes wide open, and I think it’s helped us being friends first. I know Kirsten and I have only known each other for a few months, but I can’t imagine my life without her.”
Alex ran around to Jordan’s side of the table, threw both arms around her, and hugged her. “That’s great. It’s such a relief to see you so happy again.”
“You don’t think I was happy before?”
Alex shook her head. “Not really. You seemed content, but seeing you with Kirsten, well, there’s no doubt about your happiness now. She brings out all of your best qualities and makes them shine. God, how I wished I could have been there to tell that bitch off.”
Jordan laughed again and playfully punched Alex in the arm. “You know, if I can forgive Kelly, so can you.”
“No way. I’ll carry that burden for the both of us. Nobody treats my best friend that way and gets my forgiveness. She can go fuck herself.”
“I love you, you know that?”
“Yes, and I love you, too.”
“I can’t believe how lucky I am.”
“You’re both pretty lucky in my opinion. I bet you’re no slouch in showing how romantic you are.”
“She makes it easy for me to romance her. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for her.”
“So, now that you have forgiven Kelly and realize you’re in love with Kirsten, what comes next? Are you going to move in together?”
“Hell, I haven’t even told her I love her yet. I didn’t think I could put myself out there like that while I still felt resentment toward Kelly. But now that I’ve put that behind me, I want to plan something special for Kirsten to tell her I love her. We haven’t talked about living together. She filed her divorce papers a couple of weeks ago, and if everything goes well and John isn’t an asshole by contesting it, the divorce could go through in as little as six months. We’ll just have to wait and see how he handles it. I’m hoping for Kirsten’s sake that the divorce will be amicable. She hates hurting people, especially John. She has a lot of respect for him and just wants the best for him.
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