I watched her sneer turn to fear as she tried to leap away. The ground where she was once standing exploded. The thought of her getting away fueled my fire and my next thought was that something needed to stop her. A tree branch tore from its trunk and shot into her path. She leapt over the branch and tried to run. Pride in my newfound skills filled me, and at that same moment, the wind picked up and starting throwing everything in her way: trees, trash cans, benches that weren’t bolted down…anything that would move was blown toward her and around her.
The woman jumped and dodged, trying to use her own power to fight off the barrage of items that spun in the air, but it was no use. I stepped toward her — still holding onto Aidan’s hand — as my hair whipped in the wind. I had to have looked like a madwoman — my eyes bright violet, my clothes shredded, and a scary smile on my face. I wanted her to leave us alone. To realize what I would do if she came back. And, with that thought, lightning struck the ground at her feet. She jumped and my smile only widened.
“AMELIA! STOP!” Aidan yanked on my arm, pulling me back to him. He put both of his hands on my cheeks and forced me to look into his eyes. “Just stop. Let’s just go while we can. She can’t do anything.” I could barely understand him through my rage. My eyes narrowed as I look at him questioningly. I didn’t initially understand his reaction to the glorious display I was putting on, but I saw that he was terrified. For me and of me. Still, he forced me to look at him as he tried to bring me back.
The woman stood in the middle of a swirling mess, the wind still roaring around her like a tornado. As items swirled in the air around her, I looked over Aidan’s shoulder and our eyes connected again before a park bench broke our connection. She tried futilely to blow a hole in the growing barricade and her fear was evident on her face. She kicked and blasted, but to no avail. Not once had she aimed directly for me, but she kept trying to break free.
Aidan pulled me back to him. I looked into his eyes and felt the sweat of his palms on my face. The curtain in my mind opened a fraction and reality struck. My body responded to my commands to stop trying to move, but my power refused to end its attack on the woman. We had fought together for a brief moment, but an attack that I had only intended to use for defense had become a terrorist event that I couldn’t control. I had to get away, to stop this and get Aidan out of there. I slowly became more myself and the darkness rebelled, pushing at me to continue our fight.
“Let’s go, Aidan. Let’s just go.” My limbs were heavy and my thoughts sluggish. I pulled him with me as we started running toward his car. The whole time the onslaught on the woman didn’t let up and it wasn’t me doing it. I felt the pulsing anger driving the assault coming from deep inside me. I was divided and while one part of me fought to stop this, the other gloated in the power we held. The woman stood in the center of the pile just staring after me. Her red hair flew in every direction but the look on her face was one of awe and curiosity as items swirled around her.
We threw ourselves into the car and Aidan jammed the gear into drive. I couldn’t stop myself from turning back one last time as my power finally settled back inside me, the malicious energy dissipating as quickly as it had overtaken me.
Just as the wind quieted and the objects all fell back to the ground I saw the woman’s eyes pulse brightly as she dropped to all fours, fur rippling out across her body all at once and a deep howl piercing the air. A wolf with a coat of burnt red and ice blue eyes stood in her place. As we turned the corner that would remove her from sight, she let out another bone-chilling howl in my direction. It was a warning. I knew that much.
Aidan drove for what seemed like forever. His knuckles white as he gripped the wheel with both hands, glancing at me every now and then from the corner of his eyes. I could feel his confusion and hated the few feet between us. It seemed like miles. We didn’t speak. Exhaustion was pulling me down and my skin felt too tight with all of the energy and mixed emotions pushing and shoving at each other. They were fighting — my power and myself at odds after the disturbing events that had just unfolded. My head was pounding and I wasn’t sure how long I could keep the after-effects of the night at bay.
I looked out the window and tried to find the right words. To find any words. I had no idea how to even start to explain all of this to him — especially not what I had just become. I didn’t even know given I’d never felt that level of fury. Aidan didn’t even understand what an Immortal was, so how exactly was I supposed to explain to him that not only was I one, but that I had no idea what the hell was inside me or what had just happened?
I pulled my knees up to my chest and wrapped my arms around them. I pressed myself into the smallest ball possible, hoping I could just curl up and disappear. Aidan suddenly whipped into a parking lot and I almost fell into his lap as I sprawled across the console and tried to right myself. He threw the car into park and dove out, not even shutting the door. He took long, hurried strides away from the car. Away from me.
I scrambled to unhook my seatbelt and get out of the car, running after him.
“Aidan, wait! Let me…we need to…” I couldn’t figure out what to say. I still had no idea what to tell him.
He rounded on me, coming back fast. I actually took a step back, the look in his eyes frantic and his stance aggressive. He stopped right in front of me, the toes of his shoes touching mine. He glared down at me, his dark hair wild and his eyes blazing.
“Amelia, I can’t do this right now,” he screamed at me. “I need you to go. Take my car. Just GO!”
As he roared that last word, he grabbed my shoulders and pushed me back toward the car. I was stupefied. I was already exhausted and stumbled over my own feet. I had expected him to ask questions. I expected him to be pissed and maybe tell me he never wanted to see me again. I never expected him to just leave me. Before I could force my brain cells to form a coherent sentence, Aidan had taken off running into the trees. I stood rooted to that spot in that parking lot for quite some time, staring at the trees and willing him to come back out.
It wasn’t until the dinging of the alarm finally pierced my consciousness, reminding me his door was still open with the keys in the ignition. I knew I should just go. He wasn’t coming back.
Chapter 15
That night, after the attack, I sent Aidan a text letting him know where his car was and that I’d put the keys under the mat. I wish I would have forced him to come to me for them, but it was three in the morning and I had struggled to even drive myself home as the after-effects of the fight sapped my energy. I was trembling, my legs barely holding me up as I walked into the apartment. As soon as my head hit the pillow, I was out cold. Aidan never responded, but the next day when I woke up, the car was gone.
It was all I could do to get out of bed later that morning. Every part of me hurt, I was exhausted and starving. I forced myself up and into semi-respectable clothes and made my way to the gym. My heart was racing triple time and I scanned every inch of the streets as I drove. I pushed my old Buick faster than it should have gone on the highway, not enjoying being alone after last night. I was certain that a big white van or black SUV was going to come careening around a corner, forcing me off the road to kidnap me at any moment.
I finally pulled up to the gym, shoved the car in park, and sprinted inside. Only when the door was closed behind me did I finally feel some of the panic recede.
As I approached, I heard Cole on the phone. “No, it’s fine. I’m handling it. Her power is growing, but she’s starting to control it.” He paused and I assumed the other person was talking. “You don’t have to do that. She’s listening to me. She tells me everything and I’ll make sure you know when I know.”
I stood outside his door, just far enough that he couldn’t see me through the glass. I leaned back against the wall, my eyes closed, hurt coursing through me. Not Cole.
He had always been my lifeline. Growing up, he was my protector. He was the one who dressed my skinned knees, ran the other kids off when th
ey made fun of me, and helped make me feel like it would maybe, someday be okay. He was the only one who advocated for me coming to Brighton and I thought I could trust him. I couldn’t do this today. Not after what I’d been through last night. Not after Aidan had run from me. I couldn’t have my knees cut off today.
As I stood there, I felt that same dark energy emanating from my power. It spread through my deflated spirit and permeated my mind. I knew the moment Cole realized I was standing outside his door. He quickly hung up the phone and walked out to find me leaned against that wall. But, my posture was not defeated as it had been moments before, it was furious. Defiant. The energy that filled me tensed my muscles and fed my anger.
My arms were crossed, my stance defensive. He could see the pain in my eyes just as easily as the fierce look on my face. He tried to explain, “Ame, you don’t understand. It’s not what you—”
I didn’t even let him finish, I flung my palms toward him and watched him get tossed down the hall. It shouldn’t have felt as good as it did to hurt my brother. Something inside me recognized that, but it was squashed by my need for retaliation. He landed more gracefully than I had hoped and stood up. He held his hands up in surrender, speaking quietly, though I could tell he was having a hard time maintaining control himself. His own power was spring-boarding inside him, waiting for the all-clear to take off at me. A part of me wanted him to let it out — to make this a fair fight.
“Amelia, this is not what you think,” he said. “I’m on your side. I’ve always been on your side. That was Rynna. We’re just trying to work together to help you. We’ve always done this, I’ve always kept in touch with her to make sure you were okay. Now, it’s just my turn. On Mom’s life, Amelia, I swear.”
I stood there in the hall, clenching my fists, trying to quiet the warring sides of my brain. I wanted to believe him. He never brought up our mom unless things were serious, but it seemed like no one was who they seemed to be lately and I wanted to force the truth from him. To wring it from him like a dirty washcloth at the sink.
Cole took a few cautious steps toward me. “Amelia, I don’t know what’s happened, but I think you need to calm down. I… uh, I think you are going to hurt someone.” I whipped my head back toward him and had the fastest thought that I wanted him to stop talking. Cole was suddenly whipping his head back and forth, clawing at his mouth, which had sealed closed. He was screaming but the sound was hollow, the noise barricaded in. For a moment, I simply tilted my head and watched him fight. I rocked back on my heels, awestruck at what I’d done. Then, Cole’s eyes connected to mine — terrified and pulsing green, pleading with me for help as his magic tried and failed to fight off mine.
That look broke through the barrier and the black haze that had clouded my vision lifted. This time, when my mind connected to what I had truly done, I stumbled backwards, shrieking, “Stop — just STOP!” Knowing full well I was yelling at myself — my dark, twisted second self. I mentally lashed out at the rogue inside me and Cole was finally released. I slid down the wall as tears streamed down my cheeks. I pressed my forehead into my arms and balled myself up. All I wanted to do was disappear. What was happening to me? What was this thing inside of me?
When I could finally bring myself to look up, I found Cole sitting on the floor across from me.
“Do you want to tell me what that was all about?” His voice was low and steady, his fear of me palpable in the air around us. “What was that, Amelia? Because that wasn’t you. I mean, I know it was, but I couldn’t find you. I looked for your trace and there was nothing left.” Cole was pale, his posture slumped over, and his head in his hands. Whatever I had done to him did more than just keep him quiet.
I pressed a hand to my mouth, balling it into a fist as I bit down on my knuckle. I was hanging on by a thread and the hysteria that hovered at the edges of my mind had been waiting for an entry point.
“I don’t know, Cole.” I was terrified and the words came out garbled, barely above a whisper. “I don’t know what’s happening to me. I don’t know how to control it. It seems like most of the time it’s controlling me. I’m there, but I’m not. I can see myself doing it, but I can’t stop it.” I looked up at him, regret and apologies on the tip of my tongue. But, in typical Cole fashion, he shook his head and scooted across the floor to me.
“I know, Ame,” he said quietly as he circled his arm around my shoulder and pulled me in for a hug. “I could see it, feel it. I knew it wasn’t you. There’s something more here we don’t understand.” Even in his depleted condition, Cole was still able to take the edge off of my manic state.
“I just want to be normal,” I choked out, trying to breathe and calm myself down further. “To go back to being the girl who didn’t understand anything or try anything. I don’t want to be the girl with the crazy power she can’t control. I don’t want to be the girl who gets attacked or who has to lie to her friends and boyfriend. I don’t want to hurt the people I love. “
“Wait, boyfriend?” Cole pulled away from me, looking down as his eyebrow rose.
“Are you serious, Cole? I just went crazy ballistic nuts and you’re worried about a guy?” I shoved at him lightly. The corner of his mouth quirked up as he replied, “Can’t help it. Just comes with the gig.”
I could only shake my head as I moved a few inches over and turned to face my brother. I pulled my knees to my chest and wrapped my arms around them tightly, trying to hold myself together in more ways than one. “Well, then, yes, I have been seeing Aidan. That’s actually why I came.” The knot in my stomach tightened but I continued. “Aidan and I were attacked last night outside the theater after a movie and he watched me basically go postal on some chick who wanted to kidnap me. What happened just now, it happened then, too. I lost it. I just lost it…”
The words trailed off as the night sped through my mind. I could pinpoint the moment when I was no longer me and when Aidan brought me back again. The memories played like I had watched them happen instead of made them happen. I was so lost in thought, I didn’t realize Cole had been peppering me with questions.
His voice was distant in the background as it dawned on me that I no longer had the option of living in that brief moment of happiness I had with Aidan last night, where I was just a girl and he was just boy. That we could never “just be”, that power would always stand between us. Mine or someone else’s. It didn’t matter how much I deluded myself, I couldn’t expect him to accept what I was. To accept the consequences of being with me. I shouldn’t even want him to.
Cole finally broke my train of thought as he gently grabbed my arm. My head shot up and the blatant fear in his eyes sent an embarrassed heat into my cheeks. “I’m so sorry, Cole. I—”
“No. No, Amelia. It’s okay. I just need some time to process all of this. What just happened, what happened last night; everything is spiraling out of control and we need help. You need help. Let’s go sit down.” Cole nodded, seemingly agreeing with himself, before standing and helping me to do the same. He left for a few minutes to put a sign on the door that said the gym was closed for the day. In the meantime, I called Micah and asked him to come down. He was out for lunch with Bethany and would come in an hour or so. I was glad to hear he wasn’t just blowing B off, at least someone around here deserved a normal relationship.
While I was waiting for Cole to come back, I ducked into the bathroom. I’d never seen myself look so bad. I had huge dark circles under my eyes, their normal hazel color was dulled and flat. I hadn’t washed my face last night, so yesterday’s mascara was running down my cheeks and caked around my eyes in a most unflattering way. My hair was a mess of tangles. I looked like hell.
I stood at the sink and splashed water on my face, using paper towels to clean myself up. I finger-combed my rat’s nest into submission and braided it. Acknowledging that I may as well use some of my ability for good, I connected with my power and sent some healing energy through myself. I leaned in toward the mirror and stared at my re
flection. I looked into my own eyes, expecting some obvious reaction to show me what was happening, but I couldn’t feel the blackness anywhere, it was just my normal power. I sighed in relief as my frazzled anxiety calmed. When I opened my eyes, the circles were diminished, my skin was brighter, and my eyes had more luster. If only my internal heartache was as easily mended as my external appearance.
Cole was sitting at his desk when I came back and gestured for me to take a seat. I crossed my legs under me and huddled into the cushy over-sized chair.
“Start at the beginning, Amelia. I don’t care about Aidan right now — though we’ll come back to that,” he warned. “I need to hear about this attack. About how it was like today.” Cole dug into his drawer and pulled out a notepad. “I’m going to take notes so that we can compare this one to the last time.”
I spoke quietly, seeing it all play out in my head again. I felt somewhat like I had then, like I was watching a scene instead of being part of it. I skipped past our time on the beach and the mind-blowing make-out session Aidan and I shared. I gave a detailed description of the men who had come after us and of the red-headed woman — down to her thick black eyeliner and her bright blue eyes. I explained how Aidan tried to protect me, only to be hurt for it, and then I got to the point where I lost control. Or, to be more accurate, completely rescinded my control.
“One second it was me using my power the way I have been for weeks and then the next, I was a spectator in my own body,” I explained. “All I could feel was the hate I had for that woman and how much I wanted to hurt her. I was watching myself do these things, but at the same time, I was the one doing them. I lost myself in it…” I struggled to find the words to explain that, for a brief moment, I had reveled in what I’d felt. The feeling of power brimming over in my soul and knowing that I could do absolutely anything.
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