“I suppose I can’t blame them,” I said with a shrug, forcing myself not to react with the disdain I had for the woman and her stupid betrothal. “She doesn’t exactly seem like the nicest lady and she’s got a pretty ridiculous agenda.”
“Amelia, do you know anything about what the monarchy has been through? Do you have any idea what the queen has faced? Or do you judge her only based on the ramblings of some old Mage around your childhood campfire?” I watched Micah’s face redden with anger and the aura of the room changed.
I bit my lip, trying to distract myself from the magical reaction I was having to his defensiveness. My breath stuck in my lungs and a nervous fear snaked its way into my system.
“Whoa, down boy!” I said as I raised both of my hands and backed away, trying to inject some sarcasm and lighten the mood for both of us. “Believe it or not, I’ve heard from a few more credible sources than that, but I’ll admit to not being super-knowledgeable on the subject of the queen’s issues. What’s your deal? Are your parents BFF’s with her or something? I’ve never seen you so fired up.”
As I asked the question, he immediately started back-peddling. “Of course not, Amelia. I am merely pointing out that you shouldn’t speak without a solid factual basis. You never know how your words could be construed or who is listening. If the queen truly is the tyrant you believe, then you could be jailed for even speaking against her.” His smirk tried to tell me he was joking, but every other signal contradicted his attempt.
I nodded. “I suppose you’re right. Anyway, did you figure out the mystery woman’s name?” I wanted to get back on track. Though I was still curious about Micah’s outburst, I had bigger issues.
“We believe her name is Melinda Carusso. I only had your brief description to go from, but that in combination with the magical abilities you detailed, fit with the profile of a woman who is a known rebel. She hates the queen, defies her at every turn, and isn’t afraid to hurt people to make her point. She’s very dangerous and you need to tell me right away if you hear from her again, Amelia. Do you understand?”
I paused, the water bottle mid-way to my mouth, and turned to face Micah. “To hurt people? And, by people, you mean me, right? You are telling me that this crazy chick hates the queen and has somehow decided hurting me is going to get her somewhere? Have you lost your mind? I’m nothing! And, why do you need to know? What aren’t you telling me?” His demands made me sure he knew Melinda was an AniMage, but how could he possibly?
Micah just stared. For what felt like an entire minute, he just stared at me. I could feel our connection niggling at my mind and snapped at him, “If you have something to say, just say it. I’m not letting you in.” His head snapped back a little, as if he were surprised I could feel his approach.
“Yes, Micah, I felt that,” I said, scowling. “And I don’t appreciate you trying to come in uninvited. So knock it off.”
“Amelia, are you sure that you’ve told me everything that’s happened?” Micah looked at me quizzically. Either he knew I knew about Melinda, or I wasn’t supposed to feel him coming. Damn it all to hell, I was sick of not knowing which powers I was supposed to have and which ones I wasn’t. I was sick of lying. I was sick of it all.
I groaned. “Yes, Micah,” I said, trying my best to sound exasperated. It wasn’t hard, he just didn’t realize why I was so annoyed. “Why? What did I do now?”
He shook his head, but I could tell he wasn’t pleased. “Nothing. Just…nothing. Look, I need to be going. Cole explained that you are leaving for the weekend. Take the dog. I don’t know what he is, but it’s clear he can sense power. It might come in handy since you both seem to have a hard time focusing.”
“Uh, yeah, thanks. I’ll make sure we do that.” Of course, only Micah could be insulting while he was trying to be helpful.
I walked him to the door and as I went to close it behind him, Micah turned back and reached in to stop me, putting his hand on the door frame. “Amelia, I think there’s more to this than we understand. I don’t know what it is, but I’m going to find out. You need to pay attention. You need to be careful. You need to trust me.”
His eyes were imploring. In that moment, I wanted to tell him everything. But, that meant truly trusting him and I couldn’t take the chance. “I think so, too, Micah. And I do trust you — as much as I know how.” I’d told him just a little about how I grew up, so my statement wasn’t out of place. I put my hand over his on the door frame, hoping to convey that I was genuine even while internally questioning. He just gave me a small nod and walked away.
As I walked back into the living room and sat down on the couch, I realized that was the first time I’d gone for more than an hour without thinking of Aidan.
It was finally too much. I’d been sitting there, in the dark, staring at the wall for too long. Since I realized I hadn’t been thinking of Aidan, it seemed like it was all I could do. I had picked up and set down my phone twenty times. I had gotten as far as opening our last text string but couldn’t bring myself to type anything. What was there to say? But, I had to say something. So, I finally did. I held my breath the entire time.
Hi. I know you probably never want to see me again, but I wanted to tell you I’m sorry. I’m leaving with Cole this weekend. Take care.
There was so much more I could have told him. That I thought I could love him. That his arms were the safest place I’d ever been. That I’d give anything for him to kiss me — even if it were just goodbye.
I sat on the couch, buried under a flannel blanket with Charlie at my feet, and let the tears stream down my face. There were no sobs. There were no hysterics. I just cried for the things I would never have. For the reality that I could not choose my life and even though I kept trying to downplay the situation, it was serious. Someone was trying to hurt me. Still, Aidan was the only thing that mattered. I didn’t want to want him, but it was like choosing not to breathe. It just wasn’t possible. My soul kept fighting for him like my lungs would for air.
Chapter 17
Far too early for my liking, Cole was pounding on my door. “Up and at’em, Amelia! We’ve got places to go and people to see!”
He was way too damn happy for 6:00 a.m. on a Saturday.
“Come on, come on!” he yelled. I then heard massive paws thundering around the apartment. Clearly, Charlie took that command as a challenge and a fierce tug of war game had ensued. Realizing I would never win this battle — and that I wanted to meet this mystery man — I resigned to getting up.
I had packed my bags last night once I pulled myself together. I checked my phone again and there was still no response from Aidan. Not knowing who exactly we were meeting, I took a little more care with myself. I put on a flowing teal skirt, silver gladiator sandals, and a white sleeveless top. I sent a little zing through my system, trying to get my brain in gear while also removing the puffiness around my eyes from crying. It was only twenty minutes by the time I joined Cole, but he already had coffee in to-go mugs, our bags sitting by the door, Charlie’s pail of food, and he promised me breakfast burritos on the way out of town.
“Are you ready for this?!” He gave me a poke in the shoulder, looking far too jovial for my non-caffeinated state. I took my first sip, showing no expression as I slowly swallowed, as if just that tiny bit of coffee would make all the difference. As if it could dull the ache that was slowly spreading through me, sapping any happiness one draining ounce at a time.
“I’m tired of half-truths and secrets, Cole. I’m tired of not knowing how to protect myself, or even how to keep from outing myself. I’m tired of feeling alone and having to push people away. I’m sick and damn tired of crying. So, if by ‘ready for this’ you mean do I want to know who this guy is and why he matters, then yes. I’m absolutely ready for this.” I grabbed my girly weekender and stomped out of the apartment, leaving Cole muttering after me about how this should be fun. Yeah, right.
Clearly, the morning was off to a rough start. We’d gotten
breakfast and headed east on I-80. Thankfully, Cole’s car had Bluetooth and he let me have first pick of the music selection. I pulled up my music app and started an alternative radio station. I didn’t need romance tracks, I needed change. I needed reassurance that sometimes you have to make the hard choice, that you might even have to run away from people you want to run toward in order to make the right choice.
Cole let me stew in my own thoughts for quite some time. It was something I appreciated about our relationship, the fact that he didn’t need to take up my space. When I finally unfolded myself from the corner of the passenger side and reached back to love Charlie up a little, Cole finally spoke.
“I know I didn’t fulfill my end of the bargain, Ame. And, I still haven’t told you everything because I just can’t. But, you know that no matter what happens, I’ve got your back in this. I’m not going to let you do it alone, or unprepared, if I can help it. I know you didn’t get to choose this path, but there’s a chance you can do something really amazing with what you’ve been handed. You could marry that prince, someday be Queen, and really change things for all of us.” He looked so hopeful, his eyes alight with possibility and clearly feeling some sense of purpose I didn’t.
“Shouldn’t this be a choice though, Cole? Shouldn’t it have been my choice to learn to use my Elder abilities, to master them and realize what I was capable of? Shouldn’t I have been able to make a choice to understand exactly what had happened to our people and then choose to do something about it?” I struggled to stop my trembling hands, already feeling myself spinning out of control.
Cole laid a hand on mine and a sad understanding crossed between us as the weight on my chest lifted the tiniest bit. “It should have been a choice, Ame. You should have been prepared. But, life doesn’t always hand you a choice. Sometimes it just picks you up and puts you where you need to be. And, I know you have this thing for Aidan, but you have to understand that in the scheme of things a human can never be for you. The queen would kill him in an instant if she understood what he meant to you.”
He was right. I was being selfish. But, I also knew I was the only one faced with spending the rest of my life with a man I could very likely hate and being ruled by a tyrant I already knew I did. But, based on everything I’d learned, the danger to Aidan was as real as anything else I’d faced. There was no right answer. There was no way out of it and I didn’t have a choice.
“I just need more,” I resigned. “I need more of life that’s mine. I need more information about who and what I am. I’d even love to know who this mysterious prince is that I’m supposedly marrying. Dad has kept me isolated from our entire world and even Ryn won’t help. More than anything, right now, I need to know how to control what’s happening to me and who these people are. Why they want me. So, is it time for you to spill the beans, big brother, or what? Who is this guy?”
“Not yet,” he said with smile that seemed far too excited. “I promised I’d let him introduce himself. It’s only a few more hours, just stick with me.”
I rolled my eyes, reclined my seat, and let Charlie put his head on the headrest next to mine. I let his soft snorts of breath calm my own breathing and restless power, and fell asleep.
I woke up as the car came to a stop. We were in the woods. Not just woods — trees the likes of General Sherman. Trees with bigger trunks than a car.
Cole and Charlie were already out of the car and romping around, trying to get out some of Charlie’s pent up energy, and all I could do was stare at our surroundings. I looked behind us at a dirt road that resembled more of a path and wondered how I possibly slept through the ruts I could see. I got out of the car, smoothing my skirt and making sure my braid was still intact.
“Hey, Cole? Why are we parked at a dead end in the middle of the forest?” I tried to sound like that was no big deal, but I couldn’t help but be a little freaked out. It was the middle of the day and the trees cast such a shadow, it was as if the sun was setting even though it was only late morning. There was a quiet rustling of leaves that made me feel surrounded on all sides, causing my internal panic to slowly grow.
As if on cue, Charlie bolted. Just went tearing off into the woods at full speed. Even Cole, in perfect shape with a little magical push, couldn’t have attempted to keep up with a dog the size of a small horse. I was screaming at him to come back, running toward him, when Cole grabbed my arm and stopped me.
“What are you doing, Cole? We can’t let Charlie run off like that! He could get hurt, he could get lost. What are you doing?” I wrenched my arm from his grasp and my power leapt out, searching for Charlie itself. Ever since our “conversation” the other night, I could always get a decent read on where he was. I was frantically following his mental signature when Cole grabbed me again, this time with both hands and a good shake. “God, Amelia. STOP. Charlie’s fine. He knows where he is.”
I narrowed my eyes. Cole was still smiling while my scowl only deepened and my frustration grew.
I crossed my arms and glared. “Explain. Now.”
He let me go and I stepped back, putting some space between us. “Well, he—”
Suddenly a voice came from behind me, deep and melodic, sounding all too familiar. “Charlie is quite comfortable here because this is where he was born. He’s currently playing with his brother, Onyx. They are having quite the time.”
I turned to find a tall man striding toward me through the trees as I heard deep, happy barks and yips in the distance. He wore his dark hair long and pulled back, had to be at least six-foot-three, and looked like a lumberjack. He was even wearing a red, plaid button-down with dark jeans and hiking boots. He had a thick beard but even that couldn’t hide his giant smile. Cole almost ran to him, giving him a huge hug. When they turned back to me again, the man’s arm slung over Cole’s shoulders, he finally let the bomb drop.
“Hi, Amelia. I’ve wanted to meet you for many years. I’m Derreck — your uncle.”
I leaned in as if I didn’t hear him correctly. “My what? What did you say?”“
Derreck smiled, looking triumphantly at Cole and then back at me. “Your uncle. Your mother’s brother.”
Standing back, my hands clenched so tightly I could feel the press of my nails into my palms, I focused all of my attention on Cole.
With barely restrained fury, I yelled, “My UNCLE, Cole? You’ve been hiding our uncle? You thought it best not to share that little tidbit with me?”
My power blasted through me and a whole new state of pissed-off found its home inside of me.
I stalked toward Cole, yelling, “Don’t you think, oh big brother of mine, that I might have appreciated knowing him? That maybe in all the years Dad was berating me and in no way preparing me for a life I hadn’t even chosen, that maybe I could have used someone? That because I didn’t even get time with mom, I might have benefited from him?”
I threw my hand out at Derreck, just trying to make a point, but unfortunately my unrestrained power had other plans. The two men were standing there, mouths slacked and looking stupefied, when suddenly they were both on their backs on the forest floor.
“God DAMMIT! I’m sick of this.” I stamped my foot, sending a tremor through the ground as I hissed in anger and walked over to help them up. I did a quick scan and this time it was actually me, not the scary part of me, lashing out. Even as livid as I was, they didn’t deserve that low blow. Cole was already halfway up and I extended my hand out to Derreck. I finally looked in his eyes and all I could see was the photo of my mother in my mind. They had the same eyes. The same smile. As our hands connected and Derreck met my eyes, I watched him wince a little.
Once he was on his feet, he explained, “That’s, uh, quite a punch you’ve got there, Amelia. I think maybe it’s time we talked about how to control it.”
“Give it your best shot, buddy. I’ve been trying for months.” The sarcasm was dripping from my words but again, all he did was smile.
I turned to Cole, who still hadn’t s
poken. “Is this guy where you get the non-stop smiles, because damn it if you both aren’t driving me crazy with the smiling and the optimism.” I got the desired effect and he broke out into a grin. I returned his smile with a hesitant one of my own, feeling better about putting us back on equal footing. I hadn’t forgiven either of them, but there was a possibility of answers and I wanted them.
“Are one of you going to tell me where we’re actually going? I didn’t dress up to hang out in the forest all day,” I asked flippantly.
With another giant smile and a laugh, Derreck pointed off in the distance. “This way, it isn’t far.”
I was shocked at how “not far” it was. We only walked for maybe five minutes and then his giant log cabin was just there. “Wait a minute…that wasn’t there. I would have seen it as we were walking.”
I was turning in circles, thoroughly confused, as Charlie and another giant Dane that had to be Onyx, came bounding up.
“Magic, my dear. It can do far more than you realize,” Derreck said with a grin that was still too similar to Cole’s for me to be comfortable with.
Charlie head-butted my hand, breaking my train of thought and running in circles around me as Onyx joined him. I could tell he wanted me to meet his brother, his mind was a repeating image of me petting Onyx and playing fetch with them both.
I laughed and squatted down. I didn’t even have the chance to say his name before Onyx came to a skidding stop in front of me. He was jet black with eyes so dark, they blended in with his shiny coat. He was gorgeous and only slightly smaller than Charlie. I cautiously reached out to establish a connection as I also stretched my hand to take his lifted paw, sending reassuring vibes as I did both, though he looked all too happy to interact. As soon as I touched his mind, he immediately flooded me with images.
He dipped his head into my hand and I found him squatting between my legs as he wiggled in as close to me as possible, his thick tail thumping a quick rhythm in the dry dirt. I couldn’t focus as he assaulted me with every memory he had of his brother — from being a puppy and playing with Charlie, to how sad he was when he left, to Cole bringing Charlie to visit. It was clear that the best days were when Charlie was “home” with him, and that Cole had been here often.
Bound by Duty (Bound Series Book 1) Page 18