I couldn’t blame him. I didn’t even believe myself when I said I was okay. I was nowhere near the continent of being alright. As I tried to mentally rewind through the last few days and weeks, it was exhausting to even try to think of everything I’d been through. I felt like one of those investigative reporters that had an entire wall filled with post-its and strings tying the various pieces together. Except, it was all a jumbled mess inside of my head.
Bethany found me sitting at that kitchen counter with my arms crossed and my head down. “It’s too early, honey. You can’t be trying to solve the world’s problems until you’ve been properly caffeinated. Don’t make life any harder than it already is.”
I snorted, trying to keep quiet as her words struck me as utterly hilarious. Only a half-asleep Bethany, wearing Cole’s XXL Matchbox Twenty T-shirt and my too-tall yoga pants, could throw out that kind of wisdom at 7:00 a.m. the day after she’d been held captive by a group of rebellious, crazy town Immortals.
I couldn’t stop myself from getting up and wrapping her in a hug. I told her I loved her between a laugh and a cry, as I realized how lucky we’d been that Elias had never truly wanted to hurt her.
“Alright, lady,” she said with a pat to the back of my head. “It’s especially too early for tears. We don’t cry before breakfast. Mamma’s rules.” In a small whisper, she added, “I’m okay, Ame. You got me. They didn’t hurt me. I’m okay.”
I let out a breath I didn’t realize I was holding and nodded into her hair. I turned and starting pulling coffee supplies from the cupboard. There was still one piece of information I didn’t know how to share, but I needed to do it soon.
Bethany and I were facing each other, with our backs against each arm of the couch. We were sharing a blanket and sipping our coffee as we talked. I was doing most of the talking, actually, and as I’d promised, I started at the beginning. I explained everything from the circumstances of my birth up through the events of last night. I tried to give background on our races and how I came to be betrothed to a prince I’d never met — conveniently leaving out that I now knew that prince was Micah. I just wasn’t ready for that part yet.
I tried not to talk about Aidan, but that seemed to be where Bethany wanted to focus. The memory of our break-up seemed like a lifetime ago but she kept peppering me with questions about how I felt about him and how I could just walk away. That I needed to fight the betrothal because I deserved something in my life to make me happy given everything else. Finally, I couldn’t take it anymore.
“This isn’t a movie, B. There is no happy ending for me and Aidan. Don’t you get it?” I tore the blankets away from my legs and with very little grace, scrambled over her to get off the couch.
Once I found my footing, I turned back to her glowering. “I. Don’t. Have. A. Choice. If I don’t marry this prince, there’s a solid chance the queen will kill my family and everyone I love. That’s what she does. If I don’t let this bitch use me and my power, everyone who’s ever even known me is at risk. But, there’s also a whole group of Immortals who need my help. Who think I can stop her and make everything right again…whatever that means. And, then, to top the whole damn cake off, apparently I also have a mate wandering around out there. Someone I’m actually meant to be with. So, no, it doesn’t matter how I feel about Aidan.”
I wanted to keep being angry, but saying those words out loud and hearing them in my own mind caused my strong walls to crumble. I stood in the center of Cole’s gorgeous living room completely rigid, trying to compel myself to regain control. The sobs started deep in my chest as I squeezed my eyes shut as tight as I could and begged myself to get a grip. Arms encircled me, the smell of vanilla and brown sugar filling my nostrils. She hadn’t made a sound, but Bethany had come over and wrapped me in a hug.
“I don’t understand what you’re going through, Ame, but I know heartbreak when I see it. It’s okay to miss him. It’s okay for all of this to be too much. It’s just me, honey.”
I felt her sincerity to the bottom of my soul and I let go. Part of me was so sick of crying, but the rest knew that if I didn’t, there was a good chance I’d end up blowing something up. I couldn’t really be expected to handle all of this well, right? I was standing at a fork in the road that had a lot more than two options and none of them looked appealing. There were lives at stake. A power struggle not only within me, but using me. Oh yeah, I deserved a good cry.
Eventually, the crying stopped and Bethany and I pulled ourselves together. It took a minute to realize it was Monday and we had both missed class. Bethany did some damage control at work and explained away her absences. Cole showed back up at the house looking pretty beat down early in the afternoon. He’d spent the day out looking for Uncle Derreck, but had still not heard anything from him.
“I think I’m going to head back out to his place tomorrow,” he explained. “There’s no way he’d leave Onyx to fend for himself. If nothing else, I’ll bring him back with me. But, hopefully I’ll catch him there, or at least get some kind of clue as to what his game plan was.”
Cole and I were sitting at the kitchen island, both eating in an amicable silence while Bethany was napping. I was lost in my own thoughts when I realized he was staring at me.
“What,” I grumbled, my mouth half-full. I thought he would roll his eyes at my less-than-ladylike behavior, but his stony look remained.
“We need to talk about all of this,” he said. “We need a plan. Do you think we should try to find Dad and Rynna?”
I was shocked that he brought up our father. I had been trying to decide how to bring him up. “I was thinking that, too. Let me grab my phone.”
I dialed Rynna and was shocked to hear it ring. It had been going straight to voicemail for days. On the fourth ring, she finally picked up.
“Amelia?” she asked.
“Rynna? What’s wrong?” The hairs on the back of my neck stood up. I knew something wasn’t right.
Rynna was quiet for a moment. “We’ve been traveling for days, hiking and driving and searching. I know your uncle told you what we’ve been doing and, Amelia, I’m sorry I couldn’t tell you myself. Your father made us all swear an oath that we wouldn’t tell you. He didn’t annul it until we saw your uncle last week. We finally found the man Derreck sent us to, hoping he could break the spell, but nothing works. He tried everything. Your father isn’t doing well. He’s been through too much. We’re going home, Amelia. I have to go, he’s calling out again, but we’ll be home soon. I’m sorry.”
She disconnected and it took me a moment to comprehend what had just happened. I relayed the message to Cole and his shoulders sagged. We both had held out a silent hope that we might get our father back.
I sat across from Cole, my breathing rapid and my frustration growing. I needed out of this apartment, but there was so much we needed to talk about and decide on.
We needed to decide if Cole was going to Uncle Derreck’s. We needed to talk about whether I should go back and talk to Elias. We needed to probably have a screaming match about whether we should talk to Micah and how we were going to explain this latest wrinkle to Bethany. But, none of that was anything I could handle at this particular moment with all of my childhood insecurities running rampant in my head. The bottom line was that we were alone in this. Technically, it was all on me.
So, instead, I shoved away from the island and called for Charlie. “I’m taking Charlie down to the beach. I need some air.”
Cole was looking dejectedly at me, a deep sadness in his eyes. Charlie bounded up and gave a happy woof when I grabbed his leash and the handle to the front door. I turned back to my brother, understanding exactly how deep the pain went. “We have each other, Cole. At least we have that.”
He nodded and gave me a small smile. “Don’t go far, and keep Charlie with you. Got it?”
I gave a mini-salute, trying to lighten the mood. “Aye aye, captain.”
Cole rolled his eyes and chuckled as I was yanked out the d
oor by one overly-excited Great Dane.
Chapter 23
I hadn’t remembered a hair tie and my hair was blowing everywhere in the strong wind coming off of the water. The waves were intense, leaping over each other and capped in white foam. The surfers were out in droves, hovering in packs in the distance. I would never grow tired of seeing them against the never-ending water with the sun at their backs.
Charlie and I had been walking for about an hour. I needed to go back, but I could finally breathe. The only sounds were Charlie’s small snorts and the crash of the waves. The beach was pretty empty since most people were at work or school. As we kept walking, I realized I had made my way to the stretch of beach where Aidan and I had been on our date. I was standing fairly close to where we’d been when I told him I was in. That I wanted whatever we were becoming.
I stood in the sand, my face tilted up into the sun and my eyes closed, as I relived those few moments in my mind. How his eyes lit up. The way he picked me up and made me feel like I weighed nothing at all. How his arms locked around me and his hand fisted my hair. The stormy look in his smoky eyes before he kissed me. That kiss would be burned into the back of my brain for the rest of eternity.
I wanted to live in that moment just a little longer. Total calm spread throughout my system. Not only could I breathe, but I was genuinely happy. The anxiety that was a constant pit in my stomach had all but disappeared and all of my power sat back, a peaceful murmur in my mind. It was a welcome change from the constant buzzing and swirling I typically endured.
As I went to open my eyes, I had that niggling in the back of my mind that someone was there while Charlie let out a low growl. As I slowly turned around, I unclipped Charlie from his leash while pushing the message to him to stay unless I said otherwise. I was hyperaware of everything in those few seconds.
The sand under my feet was coarser. The humidity in the air settled on my skin and I tasted the salt in my mouth. As I lifted my eyes to gauge the latest threat, I also brought my power to the surface. Something was off though, she wasn’t listening. In fact, she seemed happy, not angry. Then I saw him. Standing just fifty feet away, his body rigid and his mouth hanging open, was Aidan.
Well, just damn it all.
“Hi,” I breathed out. It was utterly lame and literally the only thing I could come up with. Aidan just stood there. He was wearing sunglasses, so I couldn’t see his expression. A muscle ticked in his jaw and he pressed his lips together in a tight line. He looked as if he couldn’t decide if he should run toward me or from me.
Charlie continued to growl and I quietly commanded him to stop. He gave me a look that made it obvious he wasn’t pleased with not being able to do anything but stand there. It seemed like an eternity that Aidan and I stood there staring at each other. Finally, I couldn’t do it anymore. “Okay, well, it was…uh…nice to see you. So, I gotta go.” I didn’t want to go. I didn’t want to move. But, I needed to go.
“Please don’t.” I didn’t so much hear his whisper as I felt it. Those two words reverberated through my soul. My head dropped to my chest. That’s what I wanted to hear him say, but I also knew it was the worst thing he could’ve said. There was no way I could walk away from Aidan right now. Not when I craved the safety of him, though I knew how foolish it was to indulge in it. I walked slowly toward him. Charlie stayed in step with me as Aidan met us halfway.
“What are you doing here, Amelia? Where have you been? Why?” He just stopped after that last word. We both knew what he wanted to ask. Why did I say those things? Why didn’t I answer the door? Any of his messages? I couldn’t answer any of these questions, so I just silently shook my head without looking up at him.
“I’m just walking Cole’s dog. This is Charlie.” I absently stroked Charlie’s head as I spoke, trying to keep my hands steady as she reached out for Aidan. Traitor, I internally reprimanded.
Just because he made me feel alive didn’t mean I was going to be able to love him. But, every part of me wanted to do the same. I wanted to wrap my arms around his neck and find myself buried in that small crook of space between his chin and his chest. I wanted to feel his hands in my hair and his arms around me. I wanted to hide inside of him until this all went away. Instead, I continued to pet Charlie and avoided looking directly at him.
“You’re not going to tell me, are you?” I heard the plea in his voice. He wanted me to trust him. Needed me to. But, I had already endangered one human I cared about, I wasn’t going to do it again.
“I can’t, Aidan. I just can’t. You don’t understand. You can’t.” His frustration permeated the air around us.
“Can you just come with me for a few minutes?” He was gritting out the words as if it pained him to say them. Something was wrong.
“Are you okay?” I took a step forward as he took one back. I paused, confused.
“Amelia. Please. Just follow me.” He looked tired as he turned and walked away.
I had a hard time keeping up and Charlie kept assaulting me with his version of a warning. I mentally hushed him as I half-ran to catch up with Aidan as he left the beach. I found myself between two buildings in a deserted alley.
“Aidan, what’s going on? Why are we here?” He walked back toward the edge of the buildings and the street, looking around before coming back to me. Charlie started growling again.
“Dammit, Charlie. Just stop it. Aidan isn’t going to hurt us,” I scolded. Aidan stood directly in front of me. Sweat was building on his forehead and he was pale.
“Aidan—” He held up his hand. I assumed it was to get me to stop talking, so I did. What I didn’t expect was an iridescent ball of bright blue magic to form and shoot past me, blasting the trash can fifty feet back into smithereens.
I looked from him to the trash can and back. And back again. “But? How did you? Where did you? How? You’re human!” I was sputtering nonsense.
I turned to fully face Aidan and for the first time, he gave me a tentative smile. I saw that adorable dimple appear and the little gap between his front teeth that I loved. “I thought so, too. But, I guess not.” As he finished his sentence, he took off his sunglasses. I was staring at eyes the same brilliant blue as his magic.
I couldn’t breathe. No wonder Charlie had been having a panic attack. It wasn’t that he thought Aidan was a threat, he recognized his power. But, why couldn’t I? And his eyes, they were blue. His power was blue. Was he an AniMage?
I had been keeping my own power on such a tight leash. In a spur-of-the-moment response, I let it loose. My traitorous power leapt out and dove straight for Aidan’s. We were standing just feet apart but as soon as our magic found each other, I felt it in every fiber of my body. It was one giant exhale. Small, happy tremors went through me and I was alive. His love, pain, and anger filled every part of me. I found myself smiling, an uncontrollable grin taking up my face.
“Is that you,” he asked, looking around, obviously confused. I laughed. “It’s us. It must be our powers getting acquainted. Apparently they like each other.”
He smiled and even through the endless blue of his eyes, I could see the smoldering change. “They aren’t the only ones who like each other. Amelia, this changes things, right? You don’t have to run from me. I can help. Whatever is happening, I can help. I’m…uh, still figuring this out, but I won’t let you leave me again.” Those last words weren’t just a statement, they were a promise. I felt his conviction in the depths of my heart and it only made it ache.
“Let’s not do this. Not yet. Let’s talk, okay? For just a few minutes, can we talk and not get into the rest of it?” I was almost begging.
I couldn’t even process what I had just learned because it did change everything, but at the same time, it changed nothing. He gave me a sideways look that questioned, gave permission, and promised we weren’t done yet. I nodded for both of us and led the way back to the beach. Neither of us spoke as we walked down a little ways and then sat. Charlie stood sentry next to me, his huge body
sitting tall and his head constantly scanning the rest of the beach, as if telling me that I could do what I needed to and he would keep watch.
Aidan sat down on the other side of me. He sat so close that our bodies were almost touching. It was a fight to stay still. Part of me wanted to scoot away and create more space, and the other wanted to leap into his lap and spill my guts. So, instead, I stood, turned, and sat down in the same position just facing him instead of next to him. This way, we could see each other and were still close — our feet and legs just inches apart. He smirked knowingly. I couldn’t stop myself from laughing a little and shaking my head. He knew me too well.
“So,” I started, “are you going to tell me what this is all about? Last time I checked, you were human. Unless we’ve both been hiding things?” I quirked an eyebrow and gave him a joking look. It felt better than I’d imagined to actually speak openly to him.
In typical Aidan fashion, he started with a shrug. “I thought I was just a human. I’d been noticing some weird stuff happening, but it wasn’t until after that night at the theater that it really got weird.”
“Define ‘weird stuff’,” I requested, my anxiety spiking.
“I would feel this pressure inside of my head. It would get stronger and stronger until, finally, I couldn’t take it anymore and then the release would be one of those blue balls that decimated anything it came in contact with.”
“Has there been anything else, Aidan? Have you noticed any other weird stuff?” There wasn’t an easy way to ask if he’d ever randomly turned into an animal.
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