by LP Lovell
Hold Me
Collateral #2
LP Lovell
Contents
1. Anna
2. Rafael
3. Anna
4. Rafael
5. Anna
6. Rafael
7. Anna
8. Rafael
9. Rafael
10. Anna
11. Anna
12. Rafael
13. Anna
14. Rafael
15. Rafael
16. Anna
17. Rafael
18. Anna
19. Rafael
20. Anna
21. Rafael
22. Rafael
23. Anna
24. Rafael
25. Anna
26. Anna
27. Rafael
28. Anna
29. Rafael
30. Anna
31. Rafael
32. Anna
33. Rafael
34. Anna
Have Me
Afterword
Acknowledgments
About the Author
1
Anna
“Choose, avecita. Do you want to go to Nero where Una will find you, or do you want to come with me?” Rafael’s coal black eyes study me intently, and the very walls themselves seem to hold their breath, waiting on my answer.
A whirlwind of thoughts rushes through my mind in a blur, too fast for me to grasp a hold of. My sister is alive. She’s a killer. And she’s looking for me. We were just children when we were taken from each other—sold, mistreated. What would we be now if we hadn’t been separated? Certainly not an assassin and a whore.
But as always, I’m forced to accept the bitter truth of reality. No matter what, we are strangers to each other, worlds apart. She may still be the protective older sibling, but I’m no longer her weak baby sister. Everything has changed because, in the last nine years, my life has been nothing but horror. Until him. Until Rafael.
I’m torn between the past, the present, and the future, but I’ve learned not to look to the future much because it’s so very tenuous. All we can really rely on is the here and now, and right now, what I have is Rafael. He is known. He is a certainty. He is safety. At this moment in time, my sister is merely the idolized memory of a little girl who no longer exists. I cannot afford to be fooled by possibilities, only what is presented to me as fact. Rafael is my reality and my salvation. I want to love you. I want him to love me.
I push off his lap and stand in front of him. Dark eyes narrow on me, and I can already tell what he thinks my answer is going to be. “I choose you, Rafe.”
He stands, towering over me, his bulk blocking out everything that isn’t him. “You need to be sure…”
“You’re the only thing I’m sure about anymore.”
“She’s your sister, Anna.”
“For now, she’s a stranger.”
“And that won’t change if you run away.”
I frown. “If you don’t want me to come with you…”
“No.” His large hands cup my face, thumbs sweeping over my jawline. “I don’t want you to make a mistake because you’re scared.”
“I’m not scared.” He studies me for a beat longer before he slowly steps back.
“Okay. Then let’s go.” He passes me my crutches.
“I didn’t pack anything.”
“Maria will do it.” Holding the door open, he gestures me ahead of him. The house is still buzzing with activity, and as Rafael walks out of the front door, a small army of men seems to magically appear around him. He helps me into the front seat of his Mercedes and then slides behind the wheel. The men get into two Hummers, and the vehicles flank us, one in front, one behind.
“Is that…a gun on the roof?” I ask him. Just as I say it, a man pops through a gap in the roof of the car in front, positioning himself behind the gun.
“It’s the cartel, avecita.” He smirks.
“Okay, are we expecting an attack? I mean, Una is just one person. And you’re not going to kill her, right?”
The convoy pulls away, and the enormous metal gates swing open for us. “We have more than one enemy right now, but do not underestimate your sister. Many men have, and they have all died.”
I swallow around a lump in my throat. Una was always fierce, hard in ways that I never thought I would be. She was older when our parents died, so I guess she understood it more and took responsibility for me. Looking back on it now though, it stripped her of that childlike innocence almost immediately.
“I always thought she was sold as a slave, like me,” I say.
The car tires bump over a rough patch on the road before it smooths out. Rafael props his elbow against the door, his bulk overwhelming the tight space in the small sports car. “Just because she didn’t end up a sex slave doesn’t mean she was free, Anna.” He glances at me briefly and sighs at my confused expression. “I don’t know much about Nikolai Ivanov, only that he holds a lot of power and has his own personal army. He calls them the Elite, and they are. He owns military bases where he trains children as young as eight.”
“That’s…”
“Messed up? Maybe, but they’re all unfailingly loyal to him. I can’t say there isn’t a certain method in his madness.”
“So, how is Una working with Nero?”
“Nikolai contracts his best assassins out, charging millions for a hit. They’re still very much owned though.”
What would that be like? To have been raised to kill? To be owned by a man who would see you as a weapon? But then, Una has his last name, so maybe there is more to it than that. A tiny fissure of resentment surfaces toward my sister. I spent years being fucked and abused, while she was trained to fight and kill. No matter what Rafael says, she was made to be strong while I was forced to be weak.
A couple of hours later and we’re climbing up a hillside surrounded by desert for as far as the eye can see. The road drops off on the left, down a sheer cliff face, and to the right is a wall of rock where the track has been cut into the side of the hill. We pull up to an iron gate that cuts between two stone pillars. This is less Fort Knox and more gated luxury. The armed guards step aside, and the gate slides back, allowing us to pass through into a courtyard. In the center of the brick driveway is a little water fountain and the front of the terracotta-roofed villa is covered in hanging baskets. Little flowerbeds nestle beneath the windows, vibrant, colored flowers making the place bright and charming. It’s every bit as immaculate as the mansion, only prettier.
I slide out of the car and take my crutches, limping towards the front of the house. The tension is palpable here, more men, more heavily armed and all on alert. “Is Lucas coming here?” I ask Rafael when he stops giving orders and comes over to me.
“You seem fond of the boy,” he says casually while typing away on his phone.
“I like him. He’s nice.”
He snorts. “Nice?”
“Yes. You wouldn’t know much about that.” I sniff.
He laughs. “No, I wouldn’t.” When I shuffle inside the house, I find the doctor I first met at the mansion standing in the hallway, clutching a large bag as he shifts awkwardly. “Use the living room.” Rafael points down the hallway before he kisses my forehead. “Be good,” he demands as he walks away.
I glare at his back and then at the doctor, who ducks his head sheepishly. “I’m only here to take off your cast.”
I soften toward him a bit, but still, I’ll never forgive him for sticking a needle in me against my will. “Fine.” He walks down the hall and ducks into the first doorway. I follow. It’s a sitting room with a couple of sofas facing each other around a coffee table. The doctor props my leg up on the table and then o
pens his bag, plugging in a tool of some sort. He turns it on, and it lets out a low humming sound.
Ten minutes later, I’m staring down at the very pale skin of my lower leg. I wriggle my toes and slowly stand, easing my weight onto it.
“How does it feel?” The doctor asks.
“Fine.” It feels weird to actually have both feet on the ground after weeks of hopping around on one foot.
“Good.” He stands up, packs his things and leaves the room without a word. I walk over to the window and glance out at the scene beyond. Sprinklers arc high into the air, watering the emerald green lawns that surround the villa. Beyond the garden is a low wall, and beyond that…a sheer drop to miles and miles of desert. I can see the jagged line of rock formations on the horizon, breaking the endless blue sky.
My mind drifts to Una, and to the situation I now find myself in; because, in the blink of an eye, everything has changed. I’m no longer the girl who has no one—who is helpless. I have Una now, but only in theory. She’s still this fleeting fantasy, a dream that feels so real and yet so unattainable. And then there’s Rafael, the man who I know is so bad in so many ways, yet makes me feel protected and worthy. The man who freed me—because technically, I’m free now, aren’t I? Or perhaps Rafael just opened the cage door to let me fly into an aviary. I often wondered what I would do if I were truly granted my freedom. Travel the world? Dance in the rain? Fall in love? I never thought the man I’d fall in love with, would be my captor though. When faced with all the things I thought I would do, I find myself willing to sacrifice them all for that one thing: love. One word shouldn’t hold so much power, and yet even I, a slave, a whore—even I know that it is the very thing we all crave. I’m no different, just a broken girl seeking the rawest form of connection. Rafael soothes my fraught soul and heals my battered heart. Una is my sister, but I know, deep down, she’s not what I need now. He is.
Turning from the window, I drift through the house. Rafael’s men move around, taking dustsheets off furniture and bringing various items in. I walk into a living room, the feel of the cool terracotta tile under both my feet so welcome. There’s an open set of French doors on the far side, and they give me a glimpse of a sheltered courtyard. Pots of lavender and jasmine are dotted around, their scent filtering through the air as the late afternoon sun beats down on the stone slabs.
A small fountain sits in the middle with a statue of a woman adorning the center. Water cascades over her body, painting the grey lines of her form with a green tinge. The algae crawl over the stone, eating away at her features until they’re barely recognizable. There’s something sad about it, and I have the urge to clean her off, but I don’t. Instead, I go outside and lie on the bench beside the fountain, turning my face toward the sun.
“I thought I’d find you here.” I sit up and find Lucas leaning against the doorway, his scrawny arms folded over his chest.
“You came,” I say, a genuine smile pulling at my lips.
“Of course. I’m your bodyguard. Where you go, I go.” My smile remains at the idea of Lucas as any kind of protection. He’s so young and innocent, and I’m pretty certain Rafael only gave him this job because he had nothing else for him to do.
“Have you been to this house before?”
“Yeah, Rafael stayed here for a bit last year.”
“Why?”
He shrugs one shoulder. “His inner circle sometimes comes here if he thinks we’re under threat. It’s a pain because it’s far away from the city, but it’s almost impossible to attack.”
“His inner circle?”
“Yeah, Sam, Carlos, Maria, a few of the guys.”
“And you?”
He shrugs again. “Mum would kill Carlos if anything happened to me.”
“Does your mum know who you work for?”
“She thinks Carlos is in a gang. She wanted me to be a doctor, but I’m not smart enough.” He shrugs. “In Juarez, if you want to make money, then you work for the cartel. I’m lucky my brother is so high up.”
I drop my gaze to my hands resting in my lap. “You could do better.”
“You think?”
I look at him. “You’re not like them, Lucas.”
His cheeks stain pink, and he visibly fumbles over himself. “Want me to show you around?”
“Sure.” I stand up and walk over to him.
“Your leg looks good. I mean…not good, but…”
I press my lips together to try and stop myself laughing. “I know what you meant.”
He nods, and I follow him back inside the house. It’s beautiful. Not like the mansion but more exotic, with the tiled floors and the potted plants. Every window is open, allowing the warm air in. It’s fresher here, high in the hills. Lucas shows me around all the rooms before finally stopping outside a bedroom on the first floor.
“Rafael had your stuff brought to this room,” he says awkwardly, and then he almost runs away. He really is strange sometimes.
Opening the door, I step inside. There’s a huge four-poster bed in the center of the room, and white gauze curtains hang whimsically on all sides. It reminds me of something from an old fairytale I’d read as a child, featuring castles and princesses and white knights.
Moving closer, I circle the bed, trailing my fingers over the white net curtains with a feather-light touch. My gaze drifts to the bedside table, or rather, what’s resting on it. There’s the Hemmingway book Rafael gave me when I first came to his house, and beside it is the little golden globe he keeps in his office. I place my finger on it, flicking the small shiny ball until it spins on the axis in a blur. Jabbing my finger down, it stops. New Zealand. I wonder what these places look like. If the people speak with an accent or even the same language as me? The Master always ensured I was educated, but in nothing that I could ever apply to anything real. I could tell you the square root of pi, recite poetry by heart, play Bach on the piano and have an in-depth conversation about the merits and flaws of Shakespeare. But I couldn’t tell you what New Zealand looks like. That isn’t necessary. It isn’t impressive. On a sigh, I push the little globe away and turn my attention to the book, which is resting on another one. Skimming over the title, I smile. Pride and Prejudice. Really? Predictable Rafael. Scooping up the book, I head towards the doors on the far side of the room. They open onto a stone balcony, and as I walk outside, I notice the brightly colored mosaic tiles under my feet. The view is simply breathtaking, as though the world could go on forever and ever, chasing its own horizon. I take a seat in one of the iron chairs that sits either side of a small table, the chill of the metal seeping through the thin material of my dress. I don’t know how long I sit there, lost in thought, but I jump when something brushes my shoulder.
A rush of hot breath washes over my neck, and I shiver, tipping my head to the side. Rafael’s scent surrounds me, erasing everything that isn’t him from my mind.
“Avecita.” His lips brush my throat as his fingers trail down my arm so gently that my skin erupts in goosebumps. “You’re like a lizard. Always in the sun.” His voice is laced with amusement.
I lift my pale leg and point at it. “I have one white leg.”
“It’ll be one red leg if you’re not careful,” he says against my ear. Such a small comment, probably completely off-hand to his mind, but it makes my chest tighten and my stomach flutter because he cares, and no one has ever cared before him.
I turn around and meet his gaze, those dark eyes that seem so utterly cold until you really look. Not cold, just guarded, full of secrets kept close. Reaching out, I trace the tip of my finger along his bottom lip. “Are you scared, Rafe?”
He inhales deeply, his huge shoulders rising and falling heavily with the action. “Of your sister? No.”
“Then why are we running?”
He leans forward until his forehead touches mine, as though he’s trying to ground himself with my presence. “I’ve never been scared of anything, little warrior because I’ve never had anything I was scared to lo
se.”
“Not even your life.”
He pulls back, a small smile touching his lips. “Not even my life.”
“And now?”
Another deep breath. “And now, I don’t want to take any more from you than you’ve already lost. If your sister comes to Juarez, I can’t promise there won’t be blood on either side.”
I chew on the inside of my lip. “I understand.”
He tilts his head. “Do you?”
“Una is an enemy to you. And you owe her no mercy.”
His lip twitches. “No, I owe Angel de la Meurte nothing, and yet her sister…” His fingers dance over my cheek. “I find myself quite bound to.”
I drop my gaze to the floor. “I’m sorry –”
He cuts me off by grabbing my chin and slamming his lips over mine. The kiss steals my breath, taking all the little bits of me and pulling them towards him like a magnet hovering over fragmented metal. He simply holds me together like a force of nature. I couldn’t fight it if I tried. And I don’t want to.
His thumb strokes over my jaw. “Don’t apologize for this, avecita.” Another lingering brush of his lips over mine and he pulls away. I instantly miss him.
“Dress for dinner in an hour. I have to deal with some business.” I feel the blood drain from my face. “Uh, uh, uh. None of that. Do you trust me?” he asks, not for the first time.
“Yes.”
“You’ll be with me the entire time. No one will look at you. No one will touch you. It’s simply…certain formalities that must be adhered to.”
“That makes it sound almost legitimate.” I sigh, glancing out over the fading indigo skyline.
“Ah, avecita, the most depraved creatures hide amongst civil company. You should know this.” I swallow heavily. I do. All too well. And it’s why I don’t want to attend his dinner, or gathering—whatever it is. But I won’t say no to him.
“Fine. What am I supposed to wear?” I still have no idea about fashion or clothes. I’m only just getting used to wearing them all the time.
His lips curl. “Just cover up.”