Then, something rose up in me. I don’t know if it was thinking about Olive, which doubled the strength of my protective instincts, or if it was just that the process of regaining full consciousness had finally finished, and I saw things clearly.
Whatever it was that caused it, though, I sat up as straight as I could in my seat and roared, “NO!”
I sounded like a wild animal, even to my own ears. It made a certain kind of sense. I felt a little wild and untamed. All I knew was that I was not going to let this happen. Fuck fate. If I could stop this, I was going to.
I twisted around so that I could unfasten Evelyn’s seatbelt, giving her room to breathe. I pressed my ear to her chest. Yes… Her heart was beating, strong and loud.
The relief that flooded my system then made my limbs shaky and difficult to control. My eyes swam; my head felt like it was floating away from my body.
I patted Evelyn’s cheek again and again, frantically calling her name as I did.
After what could’ve been ten seconds or ten minutes—all my ability to judge the passing of time was pretty well lost—her eyes fluttered.
“Oh, God, baby…yes, you’re okay. Evelyn? Can you hear me?”
Her eyes opened fully and locked on mine. I saw them visibly clear, and my heart pounded out of control with joy, relief… And love. Always love.
“Nick…what…what happened?”
I leaned over and wrapped her in my arms, careful to control the urge to pull her to me and crush her against my chest. I didn’t want to jostle or move her in any way that might injure her further.
“We had a little accident, baby. We’re okay. You’re okay. God, I’m so glad. I’m gonna call 911 and get us some help.”
Now that I knew she was awake and breathing, I realized I should’ve done that right away, but I’d been so focused on her there hadn’t been room in my brain for any other thoughts.
My plans were put on hold when she started panicking, limbs flailing, trying to get away from an unseen danger. I held her as still as possible and spoke in what I hoped was a soothing voice. “Evelyn, baby, hold still. You’re okay, but you have to wait for the ambulance. Just relax, sweetheart. Relax.”
“Olive!” she choked out. “Where’s Olive? Is she okay?”
“She’s fine, honey. She wasn’t in the car. She stayed home. Do you remember?”
She quieted in my arms. Her breathing was still fast, but it was slowing moment by moment, as was her heart rate. Finally, she spoke. “Okay. Okay, yeah. I do remember now. We were on our way to the store. For bread. And you said—”
She pulled back, looking into my eyes. A wide, happy smile appeared on her lips. “You said you wanted us to be together.”
I grinned back at her. “And I meant every word. In fact, I’m gonna double down on that. Baby, when I saw you lying there—when I was faced with the possibility that you might be taken from me—I realized I never want to be apart from you again. I never want to go to sleep without you in my arms. I never want to wake up without your beautiful face being the first thing I see. I never want Olive to have to miss you the way she does on the days you’re not there. I never want there to be a moment when you’re not in our lives, our home, our family.
“I love you, Evelyn. More than I ever imagined I was capable of loving again. You sparked that in me. You healed me. You brought love to my heart. You’re magic, baby. My angel.”
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. There was really only one thing left for me to ask her. “Will you marry me?”
Her kisses, planted all over my face through smiles and tears, were all the answer I needed.
Chapter 31
Evelyn
“THANKS, OFFICER. APPRECIATE the ride.”
Nick shook the policeman’s hand as we climbed out of the back of the cop car in the driveway of the cabin, but only about ten percent of his attention was on the cop. The rest was laser focused on me.
Even though the doctors in the emergency room had given each of us a thorough going over and pronounced us each in good enough health to go home, Nick hadn’t taken his worried eyes from me for one second since we’d walked out of that emergency room door.
He never tore his eyes from me, and it was clear he fully expected me to collapse to the ground or start shaking in an uncontrollable seizure at any moment. In fact, I’d started to feel a little paranoid about my own health based on nothing but the worry rolling off of him in constant waves.
Olive burst from the front door and ran over to the two of us, throwing her arms around one of each of our legs where they stood next to each other, like the cutest rope ever in a three-legged race.
She looked up at us, lip trembling, tears shimmering like diamonds in her blue eyes. “Auntie Lisa said you got in a car accident.”
“We did,” Nick replied, smoothing her hair back. “But, we’re fine, baby. Everybody’s fine.”
“You had to go to the doctor.”
“We did,” I told her. “Do you know what the doctor said?”
She shook her head.
I put a finger to the side of my cheek and tilted my head to the side. I pursed my lips and drew my brows together in an exaggerated thinking pose. “Hmmmm…looks like a case of car accident-itis.”
Olive’s face lit up. “That’s what Doc McStuffins would say!”
I nodded solemnly. “I know. That’s how I knew he must be a very good doctor. And he said your daddy and me are A-OK. So, you know it must be true.”
She considered this for a long moment. Then, she spun and ran back toward the front door. “Okay! I’m gonna go play!” she called back over her shoulder.
Nick looked down at me, love written all over his face. He threaded his arm around my waist as we strolled toward the front door. In a voice that was low and filled with feeling, he said, “Damn, I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you.”
I stood on tiptoe to give him a quick kiss. “Babe, that feeling is mutual.”
Chapter 32
Evelyn
“HEY, OLIVE, HONEY. Come sit over here for a minute.” Nick patted the couch next to him and Olive hopped up from where she sat crisscross applesauce in front of the television and ran over to plop onto the cushion next to Nick.
I took a seat in the armchair that sat at a right angle to the couch, so that Olive was between Nick and me. Like we were a cozy little family.
My belly fluttered at that thought. A family. That was what I’d instinctively felt that we were from the very beginning, and that was what we were talking to Olive about becoming now.
It had been a few weeks since the cabin, and the accident. We hadn’t wanted to overwhelm Olive with the news while it was new. We’d both felt that it was wise to let ourselves settle into the new relationship, and new rhythm with each other, before making Olive part of it.
Even though we both really knew in our hearts that this was forever, our heads told us that we needed proof before risking Olive’s happiness. And when it came to her, Nick and I were on the same page: a solid mixture of head and heart was needed when it came to making decisions about her well-being.
So now, time had passed, and not only were we still sure about each other, we were more sure than ever. It was time to bring our girl into the mix and make things official.
Nick smiled at Olive and ruffled her hair. “Hey, baby girl. Evelyn and I wanted to talk to you about something.”
“Okay.”
“You know how Evelyn is here a lot, and she spends time with you.”
“She’s my babysitter.”
“That’s right, she is. And you like her a lot, don’t you?”
All eyes shifted to me, and without hesitation she replied, “I love her.”
The words hit me right in the chest. She said them so matter-of-factly, and without hesitating to think about it for even a second. “I love you too, sweetie.”
Nick continued, “And lately, Evelyn has been spending time with us even when she’s not babysitt
ing you. She’s been eating dinner with us a lot, and we’ve been going to the park. And we’ve been playing games and watching movies.”
“Yeah. I like it.”
“Good. That was going to be my next question, was how do you feel about that.”
“Oh. Now you don’t have to ask it.”
Nick’s lip twitched. “True enough. We’ll skip that one. Let’s go right into the one after, which is: how would you feel if Evelyn was around a lot more, even?”
“Good!”
My heart, which had already been half-way melted into a giant gooey puddle by Olive declaring that she loved me, officially dissolved the rest of the way when her face and eyes lit up like a Christmas tree at the thought of me spending more time with her.
I took over the questions. “Honey, what would you think if I were to move in with you and your dad?”
She tilted her head to the side and thought. My belly was a mass of frantic butterflies. Never had I so anxiously awaited the pronouncement of a kid who hadn’t even entered elementary school yet, but here I was, feeling like all of my life’s happiness depended on it.
Which, yeah, I guess in a way, it kind of did.
Finally, she asked, “Would you live in my room?”
I met Nick’s eyes. We’d talked about what approach to take if the bedroom arrangement question came up, and decided that matter-of-fact honesty was the best approach. If we weren’t awkward about it, she wouldn’t be either.
Yeah. That had been a lot easier in my mind when we were just kicking around ideas. Sitting across from the actual kid, now, looking into that innocent and open face waiting for answers, I felt myself on the edge of devolving into a stuttering mess.
Luckily, Nick took over again. Damn, I knew I was biased, but in my opinion, we made a pretty kickass team!
“Evelyn would be staying in my room,” he said smoothly.
Olive nodded thoughtfully. After a moment, she followed up with, “Okay. What room will you live in, Daddy?”
I had to dig my fingernails into my palm to keep my face straight. Nick, who’d had much more practice keeping a solemn face around Olive’s cuteness, had barely a lip twitch. “I’d still be in my room. We’d live in there together.”
She nodded, and then her eyes widened, and her face split into a grin. “Oh! Because you’re boyfriend-girlfriend!”
Nick nodded. “We are. What do you think about that?”
“It’s good. Will you still read me a story for bedtime?”
“Yeah, of course, Doodle Bug. Nothing is going to change except that Evelyn will be here all the time, instead of some of the time.”
“Okay. Are you gonna get married?”
I jumped back in. I figured weddings constituted a “girl talk” subject. “We are going to get married.”
She leaned forward. “And I get to be in the wedding?”
“Are you kidding?” I replied. “You’re not only going to be in the wedding, you’ll be the most important person in the wedding party!”
Her eyebrows raised and she nodded slowly, rolling the idea around in her head. I could tell I’d captured her imagination with that last remark. She definitely didn’t hate the idea of being the headline player in an event as important as a wedding.
“Soooo…” she asked, starting slow and picking up speed as her line of questioning expanded, “what will I wear in the wedding? Will it be a fancy dress? Will it be pink? Will I get new shoes? Will I have flowers in my hair?”
“Wow, that’s a lot of questions,” I replied.
“Yeah. I have a lot of them.”
“Well, let’s tackle them as they come up. First of all, I’m not sure what you’ll be wearing. I thought maybe we could go shopping together and pick it out. Does that sound good?”
“Yes!”
“Great. We can do that on Saturday. And maybe we can even have a nice lunch while we’re out. A real girls’ day.”
“Yes. I like that idea,” she replied, her voice solemn. Fingernails, meet palm.
“Sweetie, do you have any questions for us? I mean, besides about what you’ll be wearing.”
Oh, that was a good call. I wouldn’t have thought to ask that. Nick really had this parenting thing down pat.
Olive thought for a minute, then asked, “What’s for dinner?”
There was the lip twitch again. “Well, we were thinking about pizza. But I actually meant, do you have any questions for us about Evelyn moving in, or us getting married, or anything like that?”
“Oh. Okay.” She pursed her lips and considered, then turned her attention to me. “Will I still call you Evelyn?”
I looked at Nick. Shit. That was the one thing we hadn’t talked about, and I honestly hadn’t even given it any thought. I’d been naïve, thinking that it was true that nothing was really going to change other than the living arrangements. Because, yeah. Of course. Our entire relationship was changing at its core, and I couldn’t believe the four year old had been wise to that within five minutes, while I’d barely processed it at all.
Nick, ever the parenting champ, had my back, though. He smiled and ruffled her hair lightly. “That’s a great question, Olive. What do you think about that?”
She shrugged, and he pressed further. “Do you want to keep calling her Evelyn? Or would you rather call her something else?”
Olive opened her mouth to answer a couple of times, but then stopped herself. She clenched her jaw, and it was the first point in the conversation that I sensed her getting upset. I put my hand on her shoulder. “It’s nothing to stress over, hon. You don’t have to decide today. Or ever. Just call me whatever you want.”
Olive sighed deeply. “It’s confusing.”
You’re preachin’ to the choir, sister.
“What’s confusing about it?” Nick asked. “Maybe if you tell us, it will seem a little more clear.”
“Well, I can’t call her mama, because mama is my mama.”
I nodded and squeezed her shoulder. Even though Jen had died when Olive was only two, Nick had always kept her memory alive for Olive with pictures, and, videos, and stories. I didn’t want that to change, and I understood Olive’s hesitation about the name. I had it myself, truth be told. Talk about trying to fill some big shoes!
“But Evelyn’s not good, either. How will people know you’re boyfriend-girlfriend?”
“That’s important to you, that people know?”
“Yeah.”
“Okay,” I said. “Maybe we can come up with a new name for me. Something that is very clear on the boyfriend-girlfriend front, but also isn’t the same as your mama. We can think about it, and talk about it more. Maybe on Saturday.”
“Yes. Like…maybe ‘mommy’ because it’s like ‘mom-E.’ Because Evelyn starts with ‘E.’ And also it’s like Wall-E.”
My palm was getting a real sharp workout today, thanks to my fingernails. I’d be lucky if blood didn’t start flowing. “I think those are very strong points. We’ve got a great contender there.”
“Good. Can I have sausage and mushrooms on my pizza?”
“No problem,” Nick said. “Any other questions?”
“Can I go back to my show now?”
“Go for it, kiddo.”
She settled herself back down in front of the TV and Nick turned her program back on. When she was fully engrossed in it, I reached over and grabbed his hand. We shared a smile, then I leaned over and spoke in a low voice. “I’d say that went pretty well, wouldn’t you?”
He nodded. “Absolutely. In fact, I’m pretty sure there’s just one thing left to do.”
“What’s that?”
He grinned. “Order the girl a sausage and mushroom pizza.”
Chapter 33
Nick
“HEY, BELINDA. CAN I talk to you for a minute?”
“Sure, Boss.”
Just a few days ago, I’d started a conversation with my daughter in a similar way, and about the same topic I was about to broach with Belinda.
I could only hope that this one would go as well.
I set the mug of coffee I’d just poured down in front of her and then poured one for myself and took the other seat at the small table. The shop didn’t open for twenty minutes, and starting the day out with coffee was never a bad thing. “That’s actually kind of what I wanted to talk to you about. The whole ‘Boss’ thing.”
Her mouth tightened and her voice slowed to a careful crawl. “Okaaaay….”
“I think there needs to be a change to that arrangement.”
“Umm…am I getting fired right now? Are you about to give me the ‘it’s not you, it’s me’ speech? Because don’t bother. I’m amazing. If you’re letting me go, there’s no question in my mind that it’s one hundred percent you, not me.”
I laughed. “You are amazing, and thank God I’m not stupid enough to think about letting you go.”
“That’s what I like to hear.” Her lips pulled up into a smile that covered her face from ear to ear. Her grin never failed to make me smile, as well, and it had the same effect on customers. Just one of the many reasons I’d never be crazy enough to think about letting her go, and I was looking to make the arrangement a little more permanent.
“So, Belinda, you’ve been taking on a lot of the extra work in the shop. Besides client relations and scheduling, you’ve also been doing light bookkeeping, opening and closing—not to mention taking on your own appointments. You’re really managing the shop, when it comes down to it.”
Her cheeks colored a little. “Wow. Thanks for noticing. It feels nice to be appreciated.”
“Trust me, I’ve noticed, and you’re more than appreciated.”
Her eyes sparked. “So, does this mean…you’re giving me the title of manager?”
I smiled. “Better than that, I hope. What would you think about the title of partner?”
Her jaw dropped. “I don’t…I mean…what?”
“Look. This shop wouldn’t work without you, B. Even as things are now. You deserve recognition for that. You also deserve a stake. I was thinking twenty percent.”
“Holy shit, that’s amazing. Just one question.”
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