Hopeless

by Cheryl Douglas

  Derek nudged Jay in the shoulder. “Thanks a lot, now you got me in trouble.”

  “Sorry, buddy.”

  “No, you’re not.”

  “You’re right. I’m not.”

  “Tell me what’s goin’ on with your brother,” Ashley said, glaring at her son.

  “He’s the one takin’ Victoria out tonight.” The words tasted like bile on his tongue; just saying them aloud made him feel sick.

  Ashley smiled. “Really? When did they meet?”

  He tried to wash the bitter taste away with iced tea, to no avail. “Last night at Jimmy’s.”

  Ashley sat back in her chair, obviously processing this new information. “Was Victoria there with you?”

  “Yeah, she was there with me, Brad, and Karen. She and Brad went to high school together, so he suggested we all head over to Jimmy’s so they could catch up.” He didn’t think Victoria spent much time catching up with her old friend once Mike set his sights on her.

  “Wonderful,” Ashley said, smiling. “Tell me, what’s she like?”

  Jay didn’t think it was wonderful, quite the opposite, in fact, but if he said as much, his mother would assume he was jealous. He was, but the whole world didn’t need to know. “She’s great.” He tried to keep his tone neutral when he said, “Too damn good for Mike.”

  “Don’t say that about your brother. He’s a wonderful man. Any woman would be lucky to have him.”

  Jay turned to Derek and rolled his eyes. “Would you please tell my mother she’s delusional?”

  Derek laughed as he held his hands up. “I decided a long time ago to let your mother hold on to her illusions where you boys are concerned.”

  “Quit trying to change the subject, Jay. I want to know more about this new girl my son is dating.”

  Thinking of Victoria as Mike’s potential girlfriend was a bitter pill for Jay to swallow. He didn’t know how he’d handle seeing them as a couple, if it came to that. “Like I said, Vic’s great. She’s a second degree black belt, majored in business with a minor in marketing. She volunteers in her spare time. She’s sweet, beautiful…” The more time he spent listing her attributes, the more pissed off he got thinking about her spending the night with his brother. “Like I said, she’s too damn good for Mike.”

  Ashley was practically bouncing up and down in her seat when she said, “Are you kidding? She sounds perfect for him.”

  No, she sounded perfect for Jay, not Mike. They shared a passion for martial arts Mike would never appreciate, but since she was off limits to him, he couldn’t very well point it out. “You’re gettin’ ahead of yourself. They haven’t even been out on one date. How do you know she won’t hate his guts once she gets to know him?” He could only hope.

  Ashley frowned. “Why wouldn’t she like him?”

  “Hell, I don’t know. He’s selfish, arrogant, opinionated…” He knew he was being hard on his twin. Mike wasn’t that bad, but jealousy did strange things to a normally sane and logical man.

  “You know that’s not true,” Ashley said, pushing her chair back and folding her arms. “Michael is just misunderstood.”

  Jay laughed. “Trust me, no one understands him better than I do.” He pushed his chair back and stood up. “Thanks for lunch, guys, but I gotta get back to the studio now.”

  Derek and Ashley stood to walk him to the door.

  “Don’t forget, Lexi and Josh are having a birthday party for Brianna on Friday night.”

  The night before his grand opening was bound to be hectic, but he wouldn’t disappoint his little sister for anything. “I’ll be there.”

  Ashley pulled her son into her arms and stood on her toes to press a kiss to his bristly cheek. “I’m sorry if I gave you a hard time, sweetheart. I just want you to be happy…” She glanced out at the motorcycle parked in the driveway. “And safe. Safe and happy, in that order.”

  Jay laughed before kissing her cheek. “Don’t worry, I’ll be careful.” He shook Derek’s hand. “Thanks again for lunch, guys. See ya on Friday night.”

  Ashley leaned into her husband’s arms as she watched her son walk down the driveway to his ride. “Don’t forget to wear your helmet.”

  Jay grinned as he picked the black helmet up and strapped it on. He gave her a thumbs up sign as he straddled the bike.

  He hoped like hell his mother never met Victoria. She’d be ordering the wedding invitations before Mike could utter a protest.

  Victoria drew a deep breath before stepping into the mixed martial arts studio that had been her second home for the past ten years. When Carl owned the studio, it felt like home. Now it served as a bitter reminder she’d never really had a home or family she could call her own and probably never would. Once again, it was time for her to move on and forge a new path.

  The new owner, Rob, looked up from his newspaper and smiled at her. “There you are. I was wonderin’ when you were gonna get here, gorgeous.”

  She tried to push aside the feeling of uneasiness that gripped her whenever he looked at her. Fortunately, she’d never have to face his lecherous sneer again after today. She looked around the empty studio and frowned. “Where is everyone?” She knew the afternoon instructors were usually there by lunch time to prepare for their classes.

  “I sent them all out for lunch on me when Barb said you were stoppin’ by to talk to me.” He walked around the counter, stopping only a few feet from her. “I thought we might need a little privacy.”

  She forced herself to swallow the familiar feeling of dread. She was a strong, independent woman. She could handle herself. Unfortunately, Rob was also a second degree black belt, and he had few inches and thirty pounds on her, so she knew she didn’t stand a chance of coming out on top in a physical altercation.

  “Did Barb tell you what I wanted to talk to you about?” She’d called her friend, Barb, that morning to tell her about the new job and the fact she’d need her to cover her remaining shifts. Unfortunately, she never thought to ask her friend to keep it between them. She assumed that was a given.

  “No, she just said you’d be stoppin’ by around lunch time.” He set his hands on either side of the counter, effectively caging her in. “But I bet I can guess what this is about.”

  He was close enough she could smell the stale nicotine on his breath. Unlike most martial artists she knew, he didn’t seem to have any qualms about consuming copious quantities of alcohol, take-out food, and nicotine. “I’ve decided—”

  Before she knew what was happening, he grabbed the back of her head and forced his mouth down on hers. Rob was fierce, his teeth piercing the skin of her lower lip. He was trying to force his tongue into her mouth at the same time she was trying to push him away. She tried turning her head and pushing against his shoulders, but he was too strong.

  Everything in her was screaming out to stop him the only way she knew how. Evidently, he was going to fight dirty, and she was determined to do the same. She brought her knee up as hard as she could and watched with pleasure as he reeled back in agony. “You ever put your hands on me again and I’ll call the cops, you filthy bastard.”

  “You want me, you little bitch,” he whispered, holding his hands over his crotch as he tried to get to his knees. “You know you do, and one day…”

  Victoria sprinted to her car and didn’t stop shaking until she was sitting in front of Jay’s karate studio at the other end of town. It had been so long since she’d felt so helpless. She realized with stunning clarity that martial arts had given her a false sense of security. Against a man who was bigger, heavier, and equally as skilled, she was still the underdog. She dropped her head on the steering wheel and closed her eyes.

  Seconds later, a sharp tap on the window startled her and she brought her head up. Jay. Thank God. For a brief moment, she thought maybe Rob had followed her. When she reached for the door handle, her hand was still trembling. “Hi.” The single word sounded shaky, even to her.

  She cleared her throat and forced a smil
e. Her new boss didn’t need to know about her problems with her former employer. “Perfect timing.”

  He scowled as he stepped back to let her step out of the car.

  She jumped back when he brushed his thumb across her bottom lip.

  He showed her the trace of blood on the pad of this thumb. “What the hell happened to you?”

  Victoria shook her head furiously. “Nothing. I just, uh, bit my lip.”

  Jay crossed his arms and shook his head, looking every bit the fierce warrior she knew him to be when he engaged in a sparring match with a formidable opponent. “You wanna try again? Tell me something I’ll believe this time, and Victoria, I’m warning you, I don’t take too kindly to liars.”

  She pushed past him, trying to put some distance between them, but his hand shot out and grabbed her wrist before she could escape. “Don’t touch me!” she screamed.

  She knew she was projecting her fear and helplessness on the wrong target, but she couldn’t seem to help herself. It came bubbling up from out of nowhere. She was usually able to keep all of those negative feelings safely tucked away, but being manhandled by first one, then another, strong man seemed to bring her frustration to the surface.

  “Don’t ever put your hands on me again!”

  Jay released her wrist and stepped back, holding his hands out in front of him. “I’m sorry, relax.” He looked at her like he would a wounded puppy that might strike out and sink his sharp little teeth into tender flesh at the slightest provocation.

  She was mortified when she felt the hot burn of tears slide down her cheeks. She didn’t cry, ever. In her mind, tears were a sign of weakness. Not to mention a waste of time. How many nights had she cried herself to sleep, wishing her parents would come back for her, and it hadn’t done a damn bit of good. By the time she’d faced her next big obstacle, the fight for her life, she was all cried out. “I’m sorry, I just need a minute.” She turned her back to him and swiped away the tears, but as quickly as she was able to wipe them away, they came back.

  Jay moved in closer, and she could feel the brush of cotton against her bare shoulders. “You can talk to me, Vic. Whatever it is, you can tell me.”

  Victoria would have given anything to be able to lean back into the protective circle of his strong arms, but she didn’t have the right to lean on him or anyone else. She was alone in this world, which meant she had to fight her own battles. She’d learned to live with that fact a long time ago. “I’m fine. Please…”

  Jay reached out and pulled her back against his chest, cupping her shoulders in his big hands. “Everyone needs someone to lean on sometimes, sweetheart.”

  She closed her eyes and tried to find the strength to fight him, but she couldn’t. “You’re wrong. I don’t need anyone. I’ve never needed anyone.” He slid his arms around her waist and it felt so good, too good.

  “What about your family? Where are they?”

  Victoria knew she wouldn’t have told him the truth had she not been feeling so vulnerable, but he’d caught her at a weak moment, when her defenses were down. “I don’t have any family.”

  He pressed his lips against her shoulder. “Really? You have no one?”

  She closed her eyes against the sharp stab of pain she thought had long since died. She didn’t think she was still capable of missing the parents who’d abandoned her, but sometimes life would throw her a curve, like today, and she’d find herself wishing she had a mom to dry her tears. “Nope…” She cleared her throat and tried to sound braver than she felt when she said, “Just me, myself, and I. Always has been, always will be.”

  He rubbed his calloused hand up and down her arm, making her shiver. “Did they die in an accident?”

  It would have been easier to lie, but she wasn’t a coward. “No, they abandoned me.” She brushed away the tears that refused to stop falling. “I don’t know my old man’s story, but my mother left me at the front desk of a homeless shelter, said she’d be right back…” She swallowed the hard ball of emotion clogging her throat. “She never came back. No one ever heard from her again.”

  “Oh God,” he whispered, pressing his lips to her shoulder. “I’m so sorry. How old were you when she left?”

  She shrugged, trying to pretend it wasn’t ripping her guts out to share memories that were usually buried so deep they never saw the light of day. “I don’t know exactly, no one does. A newborn, for sure. Maybe a few days old, maybe a few weeks, who knows?”

  His voice sounded rough and raw when he asked, “The people she left you with, did they try to contact the hospitals in the area?”

  She nodded. “I guess so, but they didn’t have a hell of a lot to go on. Besides, they had enough mouths to feed, so they just called the authorities and I wound up in the system. They gave me a name, a new set of caretakers, and voila…”

  “Your birthday…”

  Victoria could have killed him for bringing that up right now. She choked back a sob when she said, “I don’t have a birthday, Jay.”

  “But your birth certificate…”

  “I guess they just made up a date. What were they supposed to do?”

  “So you’ve never celebrated a birthday?”

  She tried to push out of his arms, but he wouldn’t let her. Instead of feeling confined and anxious, she just felt protected. For the first time ever, it felt like someone cared enough to want to protect her from the evil in the world. “It’s not a big deal. You get used to it.”

  Jay turned her to face him. He gripped her shoulders so she couldn’t flee. “I want to know what happened today. What got you so upset?”

  Given what she’d already told him, her run-in with Rob seemed insignificant by comparison. “I went to tell my old boss I wouldn’t be coming back to work for him.” She looked down at his chest when she said, “I didn’t even get a chance to tell him before he came at me.”

  His fingertips bit into her flesh. “What the hell do you mean he came at you? What did he do to you?”

  “Nothing…” She flattened her palms against his chest and could feel how hard his heart was pounding, almost as fast and hard as her own. “He just kissed me.”

  Jay’s eyes drifted to her cut lip. “You mean he tried to force you to kiss him, don’t you?”

  She nodded. “Yes, but…” She reached out to grab his wrist when he reached for the helmet hooked on the back of his motorcycle. “What are you doing? Where are you going?”

  “Where do you think I’m goin’? I’m gonna show your buddy what happens when he’s the one fearin’ for his safety.”

  She grabbed the helmet out of his hands and put it behind her back. The look in his eyes… he was enraged. It would have scared her, but she knew she had nothing to fear from him. “Jay, you can’t. Please.” She feared if he started in on Rob, Jay would wind up in a jail cell and Rob would end up in a body bag. She couldn’t live with that on her conscience. “I’m begging you, just let it go.”

  “He put his hands on you.” His eyes roamed over her body, looking for obvious signs of struggle. “Did it go any further? Did he—”

  “No!” She smiled, trying to ease his tension. “I kneed him before he had the chance.”

  Jay shook his head, a half-smile pulling at the corners of his lips. “Why am I not surprised?”

  “‘Cause you know I can take care of myself.” She stowed his helmet away on the storage compartment and turned the key positioned in the small lock before handing it back to him. “You can’t be too careful.”

  He watched her walk toward the door of his studio. “No, you sure as hell can’t. You never know when someone might come along and blindside ya when ya ain’t lookin’.”

  Chapter Seven

  Jay was still seething about Victoria’s encounter with her boss when his brother stuck his head in the door hours later. “What the hell do you want?”

  Mike grinned. “I’m here to pick up my date. I figured she’d still be here.”

  Victoria poked her head out of
Jay’s office, where she was putting away office supplies. “Hey, I thought we were gonna meet at Jimmy’s?”

  Jay shook his head. “You’re takin’ her to Jimmy’s on your first date? That’s classy, real classy.”

  “No, I thought we’d start out at Jimmy’s.” He raised an eyebrow when his eyes drifted over Victoria’s long, bare legs. “Who knows where we’ll end up, right, sugar?”

  Victoria just smiled and rolled her eyes, but it took everything in Jay not to slam his brother up against the wall and force the words back down his throat. He hated feeling so helpless. He was the one who should be taking Victoria out for dinner tonight, not Mike. “We’re not finished here. She’ll have to meet you at Jimmy’s later.”

  Mike sat down in one of the guest chairs lining the wall of windows in the open studio. “I don’t mind waitin’.”

  “Well, I mind. Get the hell out of my studio before I throw you out.”

  Mike smirked. “Man, you’re stressed. When was the last time you got laid?”

  Before Jay could control the impulse, he had Mike by the shirt and was pulling him out of the chair. He got in his face, and he could feel his veins popping and blood pressure peaking when he said, “You know I could kill you right here, right now, with my bare hands, don’t you?”

  Victoria grabbed Jay’s bulging bicep, trying to pull the two apart. “Jay, for God’s sake, let him go. You’re just having a bad day. You don’t want to take it out on him.”

  No, he’d rather take it out on her former boss, but his brother was the next best target. He finally loosened his grip and took a step back. “Get out of my sight, now.”

  Mike straightened his black, button down shirt and scowled. “And everyone says I’m the hothead. Man, you need to get a grip.”

  Victoria grabbed Jay’s arm and pulled him away from his brother. “Um, Jay, I need your help with something in the office.” She smiled at Mike. “Is it okay if I meet you at Jimmy’s in an hour? I just need to stop at home so I can freshen up.”