by Layla Nash
Rafe waved away a friend who tried to get his attention, and leaned forward with his elbows on the bar. His voice lowered, a shared secret. "You smell a lot like Logan Chase. Did he do something to you, Nat?"
"He saved me," I said to the glass of whiskey, trying to hide the words in the fragrant liquor that stung my nostrils. "And then he — he — turned into something terrible. Something horrible."
"What did he turn into?"
"You won't believe me." I laughed, surprised at how much it hurt to admit. "Because it isn't possible."
"I will. And it is."
I lifted my gaze to his, surprised that his normally gray eyes were suddenly almost gold. For one crazy moment, I decided to believe him. To trust him. The words slipped out before I could change my mind. "He turned into a lion. Killed the man who attacked me. And turned back into a man."
I waited for the laughter or the call to the loony bin. A 72-hour hold at City General. Instead, Rafe nodded, gave me a bigger drink, and said, "I'll call Ruby. Just stay here."
So I sat and nursed the drink, though I wanted to pound the entire bottle until it dulled the pain and fear. All the promise of that relationship with Logan disappeared in a flash. In less than a heartbeat. Imagine — turning into a lion.
My forehead connected to the bar with a thud. The shivers didn't shop jostling me on the stool. I couldn't control as my fingers trembled around the glass. I didn't even have my purse. It still sat in the soup kitchen. Ruby didn't ask me any questions when she appeared in front of me, instead only holding my hands between hers to try to warm the chill from them. It didn't work, but it helped me feel less alone in the world.
Yet Rafe hadn't been particularly surprised by what I said. And he thought I smelled like Logan. We'd been spending a lot of time together, sure, but it wasn't like I used his detergent or wore his cologne or anything. I looked at my friend, desperate for other reassurances. "Am I crazy?"
"No, babe." The silver ring spun in her lip as she worried it with her tongue, a nervous habit when she was very angry or very upset. She rubbed my shoulder, leaning on the bar very much like her brother. "It's just a bit of a shock."
"He turned into a lion," I whispered, to make sure she knew the kind of crazy she dealt with. This wasn't the garden variety hallucination. This was semi-pro. Maybe Olympic quality.
She took a deep breath, then nodded. "I know. Rafe told me." She picked up my hands again, studied my fingers and then my wrists. "I haven't seen you in a couple of days. Can you go back and tell me what happened?"
It took forever to unravel the past few days in my mind, trying to rewind to the last time I'd seen her through the blur of so many hours of what I'd thought was happiness. I fumbled the glass, feeling uncoordinated and disjointed. "Joey attacked me at the restaurant... ten, twelve days ago? Logan's brothers saved me. Logan saved me. He protected me, took me home, took care of me. Asked me to live with him."
She concentrated on wiping another glass clean, the spotless white towel working the same part of the glass over and over and over again. Her voice remained carefully neutral. "Seems awful fast, Nat."
"I know." I stared at the lines of liquor bottles behind her. "Really fast. But it felt right. It felt good. I felt safe with him, protected. We were looking for an apartment, and I took a few days off work to recover from what Joey — did. He came with me to help tonight at the soup kitchen. I took out the trash, and Joey was there. He attacked me again and then —" I cut off, struggled to breathe. She pressed the full glass of whiskey into my hand, and I gulped it down mechanically. It eased the words from around the lump in my throat. "The door was locked but he went through it. He flew through it, but he was a lion. An enormous fucking lion. He — I think he killed Joey, I don't know. He just lay there. And then Logan stood up where the lion used to be, and he was naked, and he said he wanted to explain."
"Did he? Explain?" Still quiet and reserved, as if I hadn't just told her my sort-of boyfriend turned into a lion.
I looked at her blankly. "I ran. Are you kidding? I fucking ran. What is there to explain? He's a monster. Or a total prick, if this is some kind of joke."
"I don't think it's a joke, Nat." Ruby returned to cleaning her glass, watching it instead of me. "You should let him explain. Make a decision after you've had a chance to calm down, hear what he has to say."
"What could he possibly say?" The words exploded out of me as I stared at her in disbelief. "What is there to possibly say?"
She shrugged, tipped a little more liquor into my glass, and then canted her head at the swinging door to the kitchen. "I'll grab you some snacks, Nat. Rafe said you hadn't eaten."
She fiddled with her phone as she walked away, and I rested my forehead against my arms on the bar. Un-fucking-believable.
The whiskey softened the world, eased the panic, stole away the fear until I leaned against the bar and tried desperately just to stay upright. I wanted to go home and sleep, to wake up from all of this and realize that everything had been a dream — every bit of it, from the night I met Logan to the moment he killed Joey. I just prayed he would leave me alone. Nothing else about him said half-measures were possible, but he'd been respectful enough to that point that I hoped a simple "get the fuck out of my life" would suffice. If not — well. I could hide somewhere. Run away. Until I had to go to work and he was there.
I closed my eyes and put my face in my hands. God help me.
A warm hand landed on my shoulder, and I knew it a flash it was Logan. I didn't even have to look to know it was him by the way he displaced air, how power and strength filled the room when he entered it. I cleared my throat and managed to say, "Are you going to kill me now?"
A long pause. Then something like a sigh. "I could. But then who would make me soufflé when I want it?"
He was teasing me, and this wasn't a joking matter. I lifted myself up enough to push the glass of whiskey, magically full again, away, and glared at him. "I wish I'd never met you."
The world swirled and wobbled around me, and time skipped. It might have been an hour or only a deep breath before he said, voice low and pained, "Don't say that. Don't ever say that. Please."
Tears burned my eyes and I didn't know why. Because I was afraid or sad or tired or just disappointed, because he'd been so perfect, so wonderful, and it was all a facade. He was just another lying douchebag. His secrets were even worse than the normal douchebags, who were only married or had kids or used drugs.
"Please don't cry." Logan's voice broke and then he moved, crushed me against his chest. "Don't ever cry because of me."
"I want you to leave," I said, choking on the words. "I want you to go away."
"Let me explain," he said. His cheek rubbed the top of my head, and he pulled me closer. "Give me a chance to explain."
"Let her go."
The deep voice hit me like a bucket of cold water. Rafe. I looked up and tried to focus as he doubled and then tripled in my vision. But Ruby and her brother both stood there, facing off with Logan. And Logan somehow expanded, that rumble in his chest again but not cute and warm like when he did it around me. This was threatening. Rafe didn't blink, pointing at the stool I'd occupied. "Put her down, feline."
"You don't get to order me around, Rafe." Logan still held me securely, didn't seem inclined to release me, and from the corner of my eye I saw a blurry figure that could have been Edgar. "She's mine."
"She was ours first," Ruby said. Folded her arms over her chest. "And this is our den, and it's full of pack tonight, so you and your friend probably won't make it out without a few scars. Put her back on that stool and take your own. If you want to explain something, do it here — but touch her again and I'll put you in the hospital."
Logan growled; there was no other word for it, though snarl would have worked. He put me back on the stool and occupied the one next to me, but he wasn't happy about it. Ruby scowled at him, still cleaning her glass, and pointed at me. "Start explaining."
Another snarl.
He took my hand, laced our fingers together. When I looked at him, his eyes shone gold, lit from within. My heart stopped, because they were the lion's eyes, staring at me. Consuming me.
Thirteen
Logan nearly took the door off the hinges when he saw Natalia slumped against the bar inside. As it was, he launched a drunk who got in his way back ten feet. Then he was close enough to her to touch her, to inhale her, but he held back. He didn't ever want to see terror in her face again, ever. Especially when he caused that fear.
He held her hand as it trembled and shook, and concentrated on keeping his voice low and steady. Calm. Willing her to relax. She was drunk as hell, staring at him wide-eyed and wobbly. Logan took a deep breath and held her gaze. "Baby, listen to me. I would never, ever hurt you. Ever."
Her chin trembled.
He couldn't help it, touched her cheek. Adored the softness of her skin against his fingers. Wanted to pull her against his chest and inhale her, carry her away and take care of her. Logan took a deep breath. "What you saw tonight, Natalia, I'm not proud of. I should not have lost control like that. I frightened you, and I'm very sorry."
She didn't pull away, at least. She blinked rapidly, searching his face for something. Natalia whispered, "Tell me it was a joke. A trick. Some mirrors or a projector or something."
"I wish I could." Logan sighed and rested his forehead against hers. "But it isn't a trick, my darling. It's who I am."
"It can't be." Her voice broke. "It's not fair."
Logan closed his eyes, holding her face gently and stroking his thumbs across her cheeks. "It isn't all bad."
She drew back, wiping under her eyes, and his heart sank to see the tears streaking her face. Natalia took a deep breath, though she hiccupped and nearly fell off her stool. "Can you do it whenever you want? Or just when you're angry?"
"I control it." Usually, he wanted to add, but any caveats at that point could have set her off. "I can show you if you want. Just not here."
She flinched, holding onto the bar. "No thank you."
Logan almost laughed, rubbing his forehead. He looked up as something bumped his elbow — a glass of liquor. Ruby still frowned at him, but Rafe looked more sympathetic. Logan took a deep breath and raised the glass in a toast, "Thanks," before he drained it. The liquid courage helped.
"So are you magic?"
He snorted, almost spat the liquor back in her face. He coughed, pounding his chest before he looked at her, and croaked, "What?"
"It has to be magic." She looked so earnest and confused, the urge to kiss her nearly overwhelmed Logan. Natalia looked at the ceiling, struggling to order her thoughts as she gestured widely. "That's — otherwise it doesn't make any sense. It has to be magic. Or — or God, maybe? Are you an angel?"
Rafe laughed and walked away. Ruby didn't even crack a smile, her arms folded over her chest. Logan cleared his throat and tried not to laugh at Natalia's questions. "No, baby, I'm not an angel, and I'm not magic. Some people are born like this, but it's possible for normal humans to be changed. It spreads like a virus if there are very specific conditions."
"Oh my." Natalia fell off her stool.
Logan jumped up to help her, wanting to laugh more, and carefully propped her back up. She braced against his chest and stared up at him with eyes round as saucers. "Did you infect me?"
"No, Natalia." Logan pressed his nose to her hair, closing his eyes as he drank her in. He didn't want to even consider it, but it might be the last time she let him touch her. "It takes a deep bite to change someone. Touching, kissing, sex — none of that does it. Just a bite."
"Does it hurt?"
"If I were to bite you? I've never —"
"No, when you do ... that. When you're the other thing. It sounded like breaking bones. Does it hurt?"
"A little." He pressed his lips to her forehead. "You get used to it, though. It's a small price to pay."
"Oh." She frowned at his chest, then sighed. "I'm really tired. I want to go home."
"Come home with me," Logan murmured, touching her cheek again. "Come home with me so I can take care of you."
"You're too scary." Natalia poked his chest, trying to look fierce. "And I don't like cats."
He laughed, rubbing his temples. Shit. "You don't like cats?"
"No." Natalia folded her arms over her chest. "They're judgey."
"She's a dog person," Ruby said, leaning forward on the bar and fixing Logan with a grim look. "And will stay that way. Understood?"
Logan took a deep breath as he faced the female alpha of the Wilder Park pack, but he wasn't about to let Ruby intimidate him into giving up Natalia. "She makes her own decisions, Ruby Leigh."
"Ruby Leigh?" Natalia giggled, then clapped a hand over her mouth and looked aghast. "I'm so sorry I laughed. That's a beautiful name."
Ruby gave her a sideways look but saved her ire for Logan. "Look, cat. She's under my protection, got it? She calls and says 'come help me,' and you're going to have twenty pissed off wolves at your door. Literally. And then we will pull every single contract and deal we have with you, and so will every other pack in this half of the country. If you hurt her, we will ruin you. And then we'll kill you."
Logan believed every word she said. And since the packs made up about a third of his revenue, it wasn't an idle threat. He could recover financially, but the damage to his heart and his lion from losing Natalia would be irreparable. Natalia hiccupped again, then leaned toward her friend and whispered, "You have wolves?"
"Honey," Ruby said, sparing the chef a patient look. "We are wolves."
"No. Way." Natalia's eyes widened, and she pushed back from the bar. "You're fucking kidding —" And promptly toppled off the stool once more.
Logan picked her up and said under his breath, "Your friend needs to get chairs instead of bar stools, doesn't she?"
"Don't make fun of me," Natalia said.
"Never," he said, and kissed her temple. "Never ever. Now tell Ruby you want to come home with me, and we'll get out of here."
Natalia took a deep breath, frowning as she stared at the smooth, unmarked surface of the bar. "I want to lay down. And you have my bag. And my phone."
"Edgar has it right here," he said. He gestured, and his brother approached, placing the bag on the bar next to her elbow and winking when Natalia looked up at him.
She beamed at him, "Edgar!" and threw her arms around his neck.
Logan looked at Ruby, a bit astonished, and the wolf shook her head with a long-suffering sigh. "She's a happy drunk. A very friendly, very happy drunk. No filter."
As if on cue, Natalia grabbed Edgar's face and mushed the skin on his cheeks. Her whisper was loud as a shout even in the busy bar. "Are you a cat too? Are you a magic cat?"
"I'm a lion," Edgar said, though he struggled to keep his face composed and neutral. "Not a cat. King of the jungle, got it?"
Still poking Edgar's cheeks, she looked over her shoulder at Ruby. "Lions, Ruby. Lions!"
"Okay," Logan said, and looped his arm around Natalia's waist. "Before she tells the entire city, we're going to go. I will protect her, wolf."
"See that you do." Ruby eyed Edgar askance, then pointed a scarlet-painted talon at him. "I hold you personally responsible, Edgar Chase."
"She's his mate," Edgar said, and Logan punched his shoulder. Edgar ignored him to fiddle with his phone instead. "Don't deny it, Logan. She is. She's yours. Just don't mess it up now." He looked up and nodded to Ruby. "We'll be in touch with you and Rafe to discuss any necessary ... arrangements."
Logan supported Natalia as she wobbled and stared up at him. "What did he say?"
"Nothing, baby." Logan kissed her and readjusted his grip on her waist. He looked at Ruby. "I'll have her call you tomorrow. You might have some explaining to do, too."
She smiled, though, and shrugged as she turned away. "Right. Good luck."
Logan half-carried Natalia to the SUV and settled her in the backseat next to him as Edgar got in the driver's seat.
He stroked her cheek, "Natalia, if —"
A quiet snore was her only answer. Logan laughed and tilted his head back, rubbing his forehead as he closed his eyes. The pain of the change faded somewhat, aided by the drink Rafe gave him, but he wanted only to crawl into bed and sleep a solid ten hours. First he had to make sure Natalia was cared for. The SUV rolled to a stop, and Logan looked up. "This isn't home."
"No, this is her home." Edgar didn't turn around. "If you take her to the mansion, she'll feel trapped. Take her here and give her the option of kicking you out."
"When did you get so smart?" Logan kicked his door open and tried to wake Natalia up, but she made a face and pushed him away with a muttered, "Bad kitty."
Edgar sighed, glancing at his phone once more. "I've always been this smart, you just never listened before. Kitty."
"Fuck off." Logan lifted Natalia out of the car, throwing her over his shoulder so if she puked it wouldn't end up all over him. "But thank you."
Edgar raised his hand in a dismissive wave, and drove off as soon as the door closed. Logan carried her up the stairs to the shitty apartment, wishing he hadn't been quite so picky about the new one. At least then he could have taken her back to a place they both belonged. Soon, though. Soon he would take her home.
Fourteen
I woke in a fog. Forcing my eyes open only made the room spin, so I closed them and pulled the sheets over my head. I still felt drunk. A moan escaped.
"Drink."
The soft voice made me freeze, my stomach clenching in fear. I almost couldn't pull the sheets down from my face to peek at whoever stood over me. Logan. He looked apprehensive, but held out a bottle of water. "You should drink some water. You'll feel better."
"I'm never going to feel better," I groaned, and covered my face again. Too much sunlight sent daggers through my eyes to my brain. The night came back in flashes — sitting at Ruby's bar, pounding whiskey like it was my job.
He sat on the mattress next to me and nudged my side. "Seriously, Natalia."