by Amie Knight
“Christ on a cracker, that’s so good. Don’t stop,” Mae groaned out, her eyes locked tightly closed, looking so damn stunning lost in her pleasure.
Her small hands reached for mine, cupping them in hers and bringing them to her breasts, helping me cradle them, and I felt a little wetness at the tip of my cock at the sight. Fuck, but I loved how she was a take charge woman. I’d never wonder what my Mae was thinking. She’d tell me—her face and actions an open book. I loved that the most about her.
I tongued her nipples over and over, until she arched up into me, pressing her core against my thigh, practically riding it. I wanted to pull my pants down and free my dick and slide it into what I knew was an inevitably wet, tight heat just inches away.
Slow, I told myself. Fucking slow, Steel.
“More, please, more.” Mae was going anything but slow. She wanted it and I couldn’t deny her a damn thing. We’d established that when I rode three hours in a cramped rust bucket. She took one of my hands from her breast and pushed it down her stomach slowly. I watched our hands like it was the last morsel of food on the entire planet as they dipped beneath the waistband of her sweatpants and under her panties to her warm, wet pussy.
She was bare there and so slick with her juices that I nearly came in my pants like a teenage boy. And I could smell her—that musky pungent scent that made me want to bury my face between her legs and taste her all fucking day.
“Fuck,” I groaned into her throat as her small hand slipped out of her pants and left mine there.
I slipped my fingers through her slick folds to the hard nub at the top of her heat. I ran my finger around it before dipping lower and sliding my middle finger deep. It was so tight and hot and all I could think about was what my dick would feel like buried there, deep inside her.
“Fuck, fuck, shit, motherfuckingdamn,” Mae breathlessly panted and I couldn’t help but smile as I used my thumb to circle her clit while I now used two fingers to pump into her over and over. I’d never heard Mae utter a cuss word in the past several weeks I’d known her and I found it both hilariously adorable and irresistibly sexy that she swore like a pro now.
I could hear the sounds of her wet sex on my fingers, her moans of pleasure even over the pounding waves of the ocean and it was the sexiest thing I’d ever heard. My cock felt full and heavy between my legs, and I would have taken it in my hand and relieved myself, but all of my hands were full and I wasn’t willing to let anything go at the moment.
I pushed a hand under her back, to lift her breasts closer to my mouth. I alternated breasts, sucking her dark nipples deep into my mouth, nipping at the tips with my teeth, and licking the sting away.
“Fuckity fuck, I’m coming. I’m gonna come,” Mae chanted, back arched, both of her hands holding the wrist of my hand that was buried deep in her silky cunt.
I leaned up, placing my mouth over hers, sliding my tongue deep so I could catch all her little mewls of pleasure on it while she rode my hand to one hell of an orgasm.
Her body froze under me, her pussy twitching around my fingers, her hands still locked tight around my wrist. “Fucking helllll,” she groaned into my mouth and I swallowed those words down so I could keep them and this moment forever. It was one of the hottest things I’d witnessed in my life. And her cussing, one of the funniest.
I grinned against her mouth as she came down and eased her grip on me. Her eyes popped open and I drank in her creamy brown eyes. They looked languid and satisfied and I smiled even harder. A blush rose from her neck and up her face as she removed her hands from my wrist and laid back against the sandy blanket beneath us on a sigh.
I pulled my hand from her pants and brought it to my nose, breathing her in. She looked at me all wide, scandalized eyes, and I smiled again before placing my fingers in my mouth and giving them a good suck. She tasted fucking amazing. I couldn’t wait to put my mouth between her soft thighs. I moaned around my fingers and Mae covered her face with her hands.
“Holy shit, that was filthy. So damn dirty, Holden. I can’t believe you just did that.”
I chuckled, loving that I could make her cuss and shock her. God knows, she shocked me enough.
I pulled her hands away from her face and grinned down at her and quickly kissed her lips. Just one more taste. She returned my grin, her face open and loving. So damn loving and giving it made my stomach hurt. I didn’t want to hurt her. I didn’t want to ruin this beautiful woman with my problems, but at the moment all I could do was be happy. The happiest I’d ever been.
Mae ran her palm down the side of my face, her thumb grazing over what I knew was the indent on the side of my face that she loved. “Son of a mother trucker, Steel. Put that dimple away. You already got into my pants.”
Why I Think I Love Holden Steel
His heart
My heart
Our hearts
I’d never been in love before. Ever. I’d lusted after boys before, sure. Especially book boyfriends. Ha! But I’d never experienced the pure, unadulterated feeling I got when a certain ex-military man was near. That sinking yet flying feeling in my stomach like I was starving, yet filled up to the brim. How could I possibly be soaring and falling at the same time? Holden Steel.
It was almost too much. It was the list, but it wasn’t because it was so much more. Holden was right, he wasn’t on my list. Not really, because nothing could have prepared me for him. And it was perfect even when it wasn’t. Because even though Holden had that adorable dimple when he smiled, he was still as surly as ever. Even though he was a romantic at heart, he hid his feelings behind a gruff exterior that made me want to strangle him sometimes. And I wouldn’t have changed a thing about him. Not a hair on his grouchy head. Was this how love felt? Did I love Holden? Was I falling in love with him?
He hadn’t tried to kiss me or touch me since we’d gone to the beach together a week ago, but we still had our morning walks and sometimes movies in the evenings. I didn’t push Holden for more because I knew what he was giving me was all he could at the moment. Besides, I had my memories of that day to get me by until he wanted more. And the memories. Whew. They were smoking.
Goodness gracious, but he had blown my mind that day at the beach. He’d been so standoffish, so angry when we’d first arrived. I’d never expected him to practically tackle me to the ground and kiss me so tenderly. It had been magic. But nothing like the magic in those fingers. And me, I’d been so brazen. I mean, I knew I was outgoing, but I’d even surprised myself that morning. And Holden, he’d been so incredibly filthy and dirty and sexy and I’d loved every stinking minute of it. Who knew I’d love it so much?
“Earth to Miranda. Did you hear me?” Ainsley and Adrian were both gawking at me from the couch across from the love seat I was sitting on.
“What did you say?” I blushed.
“Why do you look like that?” Adrian questioned, a disgusted look on his face.
“Oh my God,” Ainsley breathed. “You did it. You did it with dream guy, didn’t you?” Ainsley got off the couch and came to sit next to me, a little too giddy.
We were supposed to be hanging out and watching a movie. They said they were going to feed me dinner. Why was everyone asking a million questions instead? I’d only been here for fifteen minutes and I was already getting it.
Adrian grabbed his Coke off the table and darted for the front door. “That’s it, that’s my cue to leave. I’m out. I’ll go pick up dinner.” He practically ran for the door and Ains giggled.
I rolled my eyes and laid back on the couch, getting comfy.
“Well, tell me. What was it like? When did it happen?” Her eyes got large in her face. “Was it big?”
I blushed again and held up a hand. “Stop. We aren’t talking about Holden’s junk. I just can’t do it with you, Ains.” Sadly, I didn’t have anything to tell her anyway. I hadn’t even seen it. For shame.
“So? What can you tell me?” She totally had crazy eyes, and I was starting to wonder if the p
regnancy hormones were getting to her.
“You okay, Ainsley? You’re looking a little too enthusiastic there.” I laughed at her and she shoved my arm.
“Quit being an asshole and spill the beans.”
I rubbed my arm. “Fine, fine, The Hulk, but keep your hands to yourself.” I couldn’t help but bite my lip and smile at the memories.
“Oh, this is gonna be good.” Ainsley settled back against the sofa like me, twirling a piece of hair, and waited.
I sighed dreamily. “Well, I took Holden to Myrtle Beach last week to watch the sunrise.”
“And?”
“And nothing really. He just kissed me. Finally. It was pretty dang amazing.”
She sat up. “That’s it?” She looked skeptical.
I felt hot all over. “Well, and he got me off with his fingers.”
She laid back again and looked at me. “On the beach?”
“Yep.”
“Wow,” she breathed. “That’s pretty hot.”
“Mmmhmm,” I agreed. “But that’s not the best part.”
“No?” She giggled. “Go on, then.”
I giggled, too, because I was nervous and hot and bothered. “After, you know?” I gave her bow chicka wow wow eyebrows. “He, uh…uh…sucked his fingers. You know? He, uh, sucked me off his fingers.”
Ainsley’s red face and shocked eyes stared back at me blankly. “He didn’t,” she whispered reverently.
“He did.” I nodded.
Using her hands to fan her face, she said, “That’s the hottest fucking thing I’ve ever heard in my life.”
I grabbed her hand and fanned my own face. “I know, girl. I was there. I was freaking there.”
She snatched her hand back and laughed. “So what now? Are y’all dating? Are you like together?”
I pushed my lips together. “Oh, I don’t know. Holden is…complicated.” I nodded my head. That man was one big complication. Yep.
“What’s complicated about it? He tasted you, for goodness’ sake. He obviously likes you. You guys walk together every day. It’s practically a standing date.” She frowned. “Has he asked you on a real date?”
I clenched my fist and shook my head. “No. Holden has issues, Ains. I don’t think anything will be traditional with him. And he hasn’t kissed me or touched me since the beach a week ago even though he sees me every day. So, I honestly don’t know what’s going on. I’m just giving him a bit of space and time to get his mind right.”
She nodded in understanding. Not judging, just being a good friend. That was how my Ainsley rolled and that’s why I loved her. I’d already told her of Holden’s leg and struggles and she was so supportive.
“Why don’t you invite him out with us when Kelly comes to town in a few days?”
I gave her big eyes. I wasn’t quite sure if Holden was ready for all that was my crew. Our friend Kelly was coming to visit and I was excited to hang out with her since she didn’t live locally. My group of friends was amazing, but they were also a hot mess.
Ainsley shoved me again. “Come on, Miranda. Maybe Holden’s nervous to ask you.”
“Pfftt.” I didn’t think Holden had ever been nervous a day in his life. I pictured him sniffing his fingers and then licking them clean again and blushed. “I doubt it.”
Ainsley blushed, too, and laughed. “You’re probably right. Invite him anyway.”
Shrugging, I answered, “I’ll try.”
“Okay, great, but I’m gonna need you to leave as soon as Adrian gets here.”
“What? I just got here and you promised me dinner!”
“That was before you told your sexy military man story, lady. You’re gonna have to go.” She stood up.
I gasped. “You’re kicking me out for sexy time?”
“Damn straight,” she deadpanned. “I’m pregnant.”
“Being pregnant doesn’t mean you get to be a butthole. You are feeding me before you send me packing!”
I stomped up my apartment building steps at 8:00 p.m., exactly thirty minutes after Ainsley had told me she was kicking me out. I didn’t think she was serious. I was dead wrong. I took a sip of my milkshake from Rush’s, a local place that had the best burgers and shakes in town, and held my bag of food to my body with my elbow so I could fish through my bag for my keys when I reached the front door. At least they’d given me my dinner to go. Buttmunches.
I was almost in when I heard the door behind me open. I turned to find Holden standing there. “Hey.” I smiled.
“Hey,” he said back gruffly, frowning down at me. He looked me over from head and toe and all of a sudden I felt underdressed in my sleep shorts, a T-shirt, and a light jacket, but that’s how I always went to Ainsley and Adrian’s. Half the time I ended up crashing on their couch after a long night of watching movies, so I always went over there comfortable.
“Where you been?” he asked a little too carefree, which told me he cared, but I didn’t want Holden thinking for a moment I’d ever step out on him. No matter how long it took. I was waiting for him to get his stuff together. We were in this thing together.
I pushed the door open. “Just over at Ainsley and Adrian’s for movie night.”
He nodded.
I motioned toward the inside of my apartment. “Wanna come inside?”
His forehead scrunched in thought for a long moment before he shook his head. “Nah, not tonight.”
“You sure?” I asked, shaking my bag of food at him. “I’ll split my burger with you.”
His lip did that sexy almost-smile twitch I loved. “I’m not hungry for that.” His eyes surveyed me from the top of my head down, his face completely ravenous. I remembered his face when he’d tasted me. When he’d slipped his fingers from my pants and into his mouth.
I bit my lip and felt my face burn. What would a more mature, worldly woman say, Miranda? “What are you hungry for?” I wiggled my eyebrows, trying my darndest to look suggestive, but I had a feeling I looked like I was having a seizure instead.
He bit back a laugh and started toward me, one slow footstep in front of the other until I was pinned to the door behind me and he was pressed up against my front.
Running his nose along mine, he asked, “You sure you want me to come in?”
He licked the middle of my top lip and I whimpered a quiet, “Yes.”
“I need you to be sure, Mae. Because if I walk into that apartment tonight, I’m going to strip you down to nothing and fuck you on every available surface in there. You understand?” He reached behind my head and pulled the hair band from my hair, my messy locks falling around my shoulders.
I swallowed hard, excited and terrified at the prospect of Holden’s intensity. I’d never ever had anyone tell me how they were going to fuck me before they did.
“It won’t be easy, baby.” He smelled my hair and ran it through his fingers before bringing his lips to my ear. “It won’t be gentle. I’ll lay you down on your kitchen counter on top of all your precious lists and fuck you hard.”
He grabbed my hair tightly in his fist, using it to tilt my face up toward his, the burn in my scalp sending liquid heat straight between my legs. I clenched my thighs together and closed my eyes, sucking in air because at that moment I felt breathless. So very aroused.
“Open your eyes, Mae,” he husked out.
I did and his eyes bore down at me so hot and fierce, I almost came on the spot.
“You still want me to come in?” His eyes dared me to say yes and part of me wanted to, but instead I just stood there, overwhelmed in the moment, convinced that maybe Holden was too much for me to handle.
Holden’s hand eased out of my hair, and he backed away as slowly as he had come forward only moments before.
“Maybe another time,” he whispered.
“Okay,” I stuttered, barely able to speak. I knew I sounded disappointed. And maybe I was a little bit, but that was only because it seemed that lately Holden was keeping our interaction limited and I wanted to hang ou
t with him. Maybe I wasn’t quite ready for dirty sex on my kitchen counter, but I still wanted to see him. Be with him. Who was I kidding? I was totally ready for dirty sex on the counter. I just wasn’t brave enough to take it yet.
I walked inside my apartment and set my food down on the entry table next to a pile of books and turned back to close the door. Only Holden was still standing there, almost looking at me wistfully, and I knew he wanted to come in as much as I wanted him to. I just didn’t know if we were quite ready for that.
I grew brave in that moment with how he was looking at me. “I have to run an errand tomorrow afternoon after our walk,” I blurted out.
His forehead scrunch was back. “Okay?”
“You should come with me.” I nodded, but mostly for myself as encouragement. Yes, girl. You go! You ask that man out!
“Where are you going?” He looked suspicious and who could blame him? I’d driven him almost three hours to the beach in what he referred to as my tiny clown car last time I’d taken him somewhere.
I giggled. “It’s in town.”
“Do we have to get in your deathtrap?”
“Nope, Lola is not required tomorrow. We can walk.”
He studied me suspiciously a moment further before finally answering, “Okay. I’ll see you in the morning.”
“Is that an okay you’re going? Or an okay, you’re thinking about it?”
He opened his apartment door and walked through it, but called before he closed it. “I’m going, Mae. Go eat your burger.”
I did a little jig of excitement as I closed the door.
Things Holden Must do
Eat Donuts
Watch The Sunrise
Hold The Babies
“You finished it?” I asked Holden as we stood outside of the little library tree box. He was sliding the caveman book back into the tree for someone else to snatch up.
“Yeah,” he answered.
“So what would you give it?”
He looked at me like I was crazy. “What do you mean what would I give it?”