“There. That takes care of that.”
She grabbed for herself. He was around the bed in a flash.
“Don’t look,” she begged. “You . . . you’re perfect. I’m . . . I’m not. I . . . we . . . this shouldn’t be happening. I don’t know what I’m doing. I—”
“Shhh,” he comforted her. He wrapped his arms around her again and laid his cheek against hers. “It’s okay. So, you’re a little nervous. I’m nervous too.” He stroked her hair. “Just relax. Everything’s going to be fine.”
“You are not nervous. Seriously? How can you say that?”
“Oh, yes, I am.” His breath brushed her ear. “What if I disappoint you?” His lips grazed her temple. “Let’s face it. I have to play in front of seventy thousand people all the time, but they don’t see me naked. That’s a little intimidating.” He rubbed her lower back with one big hand. “See? Just relax,” he encouraged. “If you really want to, though, we’ll stop.”
“I . . . ”
She fell silent. She knew he was teasing her, but she couldn’t resist his tender touches and the way he held her. He was still rubbing her back, still stroking her hair, still murmuring into her ear.
“May I kiss you?”
How could she refuse, when he asked so nicely? She lifted her face, and he did the rest. His mouth moved over hers, slowly and gently. She slid her tongue against his, loving the way he tasted. She moaned a little. She heard him once more. “May I kiss you again?”
“Yes.”
A few minutes later, she’d melted all over him. He lay her down again, and she whispered to him, “Will you kiss me some more?”
“Of course.” He stroked her face. “If you want to stop, just tell me.”
She closed her eyes. She took a breath. She looked up at him once more, into his warm brown eyes and his encouraging smile. “I don’t want to stop.”
Chapter Nineteen
SETH WANTED TO kiss and lick every inch of her body. He wanted to bury himself inside her, make her scream, hear her beg him for more. He wanted to do every last thing with her that he’d seen in the countless erotic dreams he’d had about her. He knew that the sexy, confident Jillian was still there. She was hiding a little, and the best thing he could do for both of them was to take it slow. His dick, however, hadn’t gotten that memo.
She still felt shy about her body. He couldn’t figure out why. She was beautiful. Maybe he should show her and tell her why he felt the way he did about her.
He touched her, leisurely and languidly. He moved over her while he paid attention to parts of her body he knew would drive her out of her mind—he kissed her long, slender neck, tickled the skin behind her knees, sucked her breasts, drew a slow finger up the inside of her thigh. Close, but not quite. She squirmed under his hand. She let out a moan.
The whole time he touched her, he talked to her.
“Do you know what I’m going to do to you, Jill?”
“What?” she groaned. She was running her hands over his back, trying to urge him closer. Not so fast, he thought.
“I’m going to keep at this until you come, just touching and kissing. It’ll happen. Then, I’ll find a condom—”
“I have some,” she breathlessly interrupted.
“I thought you might. Then, we’re going to put one on, and I’m going to slide inside. I’ll go slow. This will take hours.” He heard a quick gasp. “Guess what’ll happen then? You’re going to come again. I’m going to come. We’ll have a great time. After that, I’ll have to start all over again.” He let her think about that one for a minute. Her breathing accelerated. “You know what the best part of being a pro athlete is?”
Her voice sounded a little strangled. “What’s that?”
“Endurance.”
As he promised her, he took things slowly. She tried to rush him a few times. He grinned at her, shook his head, and told her, “Well, now I’ll have to start over, won’t I?”
“But . . . but . . . you can’t. Oh, God!”
“Listen. Only one of us can be in charge right now, and that’s me. You’ll get your chance later. Maybe.”
All he heard was another moan. God, he was having fun.
Jillian was funny. Slowly but surely, she forgot whatever she’d been nervous about. After all, he paid attention to the parts she probably thought were ugly: The newly loose skin on her belly and thighs; the breasts she thought were too big but he believed were a feast made especially for him. Finally, he gave her what they both wanted. He moved his fingers slowly through the wetness between her legs, tickling and lingering over the little nub of flesh that made her buck and moan. She moved against his hand, eyes tightly closed.
“Look at me,” he whispered to her. “Open your eyes.” She did. Seconds later, she arched, she let out a shriek, and he felt her entire body convulse around his hand.
Jillian was quiet for a few moments, and then she rolled over him to reach inside the bedside table. She pulled out a box of condoms. She ripped the cardboard in her hurry to get one out and threw everything but one foil-covered packet onto the floor. He had to laugh at the sweetly determined look on her face. She was naked, she was adorable, and she was all his.
She tore the foil packet open, pulled out a disc of latex, and proceeded to roll it over him. Well, there was some teasing, and by the time the job was done, all he wanted to do was flip her on her back, move between her legs, and dive inside. She had other plans. She pushed on his chest until he was flat on his back, straddled him, and gave him the same temptress smile he’d seen so many nights in his dreams.
“My turn,” she said.
JILLIAN AWOKE SHORTLY after dawn. She heard birds singing, but there was no traffic noise outside. Seth was fast asleep next to her. He must have picked the blankets up off the floor sometime during the night and spread them over the bed.
They’d worn each other out. He wasn’t kidding about that endurance stuff. Once she got over her shyness of his seeing her naked, she was an enthusiastic participant, and he taught her a few things she’d never tried before. Just thinking about a couple of them made desire, heavy and hot, pool in her abdomen. She felt the heat of a blush rising in her cheeks too.
One of his arms was still around her waist. She’d cuddled up to his warmth all night. She carefully dislodged his arm and rolled out of bed.
Jillian took care of the morning business, slid into a cotton nightshirt hanging on the back of the bathroom door, and fed CB before going back to bed. The kitten was highly disgusted that she’d been kept out of the bedroom by a shut door most of the night. Hopefully, she’d let Seth sleep for a little while longer before he had to go to the practice facility.
Seth opened one eye as she got back into bed. “Still tired.”
“I know. I had to get up for a few minutes.”
“A little more sleep,” he said.
He spooned around her. Before she knew what was happening, the nightshirt was being pulled up over her head and off. He tossed it on the floor. “What are you doing?”
“Don’t wear that thing again,” he muttered into her ear. “I’ll keep you warm.” He wrapped one arm around her waist again and cupped her breast in his hand.
Chapter Twenty
SETH LEFT JILLIAN’S apartment on the run a few hours later. They’d both overslept. There was no time to talk about what happened the night before or what it meant for them. He was due at the practice facility for a walk-through and a flight to San Francisco for tomorrow’s game. She was due at Treehouse for a volunteer shift.
“At least my bag’s in the trunk of the Escalade,” he’d said. He reached out to pull her close. “Why don’t we meet up tomorrow night when I get back?”
“I’d love that,” she said. “Have a good flight and a great game.”
“I will,” he said. His mouth touched hers, sweet and tender. He was running late, but he kissed her like he had all the time in the world. He came back for more as she wrapped her arms around his neck. “I’l
l text you when I get to San Francisco. I’m going to miss you.”
“I’ll miss you too. Hurry back,” she’d said.
She watched his Escalade vanish around the corner of the apartment house parking lot. Her phone rang a minute or so later. Maybe he’d forgotten something. She grabbed it off of the kitchen counter and hit “Talk.”
“Hey, Jillian, it’s Chip from Treehouse,” the caller said. “You haven’t left your place yet, have you?”
“Nope. I . . . I had a guest. I’ll be there as soon as I can.”
“Listen. Your volunteer group canceled again.”
“I’m sorry,” she said. “Isn’t this the second time now?”
“I know there are lots of kids doing the mandatory testing this week at school.” He let out a breath. “Things around here aren’t too bad today. Why don’t you take the afternoon off? We’ll see you next Saturday.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah. We love having you here, but it’s always good to get a little break,” he said. “Go do something nice for yourself.”
She hung up after the usual “have a great day” stuff that characterized every phone call made between two people in the Seattle area, and she sank onto her couch. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d had a day to herself. Maybe she should take advantage of it. The possibilities were endless: She could get a pedicure. She had a gift certificate for a massage. She could go swimming. Maybe she should skip all of it, curl up on the couch, and read to her heart’s content. It all sounded terrific, but first of all, maybe she should get dressed.
CB was dive-bombing something in the rumpled sheets of her bed as she walked into her room. Her room (and the sheets) still smelled like Seth and the musky, clean-sweat smell of sex.
“What are you doing?” she asked CB, who redoubled her efforts to shred whatever it was she’d managed to get her paws on. Jillian’s hand closed over the underwear Seth had taken off her last night with his teeth. She pulled it away from the kitten, which seemed to think this was an exciting new game. “Those are my underwear, you naughty kitten.”
Jillian tossed herself down next to the kitten in the crumpled bedclothes. CB purred and rubbed against her. She let out a sigh. “Yeah, I can still smell him too.”
She should be ecstatic. She and Seth had spent the night together, they’d both enjoyed it, and their relationship had officially moved from “just friends” to what she hoped would be a lot more. Kari would probably tell her she was nuts to worry and to just enjoy herself, but she couldn’t stop thinking about what John had said to her about pro football players and the fact many had achieved every other success in life but a happy home and a family.
Seth had told her before he’d spent almost two years with Kim because he was used to the way things were. Even if he hadn’t been happy with the relationship, it was too easy to continue in it instead of finding someone that he’d be happier with. She knew she wasn’t remotely like his ex by any stretch of the imagination, but the insecurities she still dealt with reared their heads in an ugly fashion. Would he get tired of her too, when the newness of whatever their relationship was wore off? Would he continue on because he didn’t want the tears and upheaval of a breakup, while letting her believe everything was fine between them?
Instead of basking in the afterglow, her thoughts snowballed into something massive and crushing.
They’d started off so slowly, but their friendship blossomed into something more when they shared their secrets with each other. She’d finally summoned the courage to tell him about the fact she’d grown up in a foster home a few days after she talked about her past with Emily McKenna and Amy Stephens. Her heart soared when he listened carefully and asked thoughtful questions. She wasn’t looking for pity. She hoped for understanding, and maybe a little patience. Her life was full of things she’d had to rise above and overcome, and he encouraged her.
As Amy Stephens had said to Jillian, Seth wasn’t perfect, either, and she knew she wasn’t. Her insecurities were so hard to overcome. She worked at self-confidence one day at a time. She still felt shy about her body, even if Seth had told her that every inch of her was beautiful, alluring, and sexy to him as he covered her with kisses.
He’d always dated tall, willowy brunettes, according to the pictures she’d seen of his exes online. She was a short, curvy blonde. Would he get tired of her and decide he wanted someone else instead?
She covered her face with her hands and let out a groan. “Stop it,” she said to herself. “You’re worrying for nothing.” The kitten rubbed against her. “Maybe I should call Kari. She’ll kick me in the butt and set me straight.”
She didn’t want to admit it to herself, but maybe she was a lot more old-fashioned than she’d thought. She and Seth hadn’t agreed to be exclusive. They’d never used the “L” word. She knew she loved him. Her heart would break into a million pieces if he didn’t love her in return. It wasn’t necessary to love another person to have sheet-scorching sex, however. And again, she was reminded of John’s comments.
She wanted a husband and a family. She wanted someone who loved her the way she was too. What did Seth want? And did she have the courage to ask him about it?
Truthfully, now that she’d gotten what she wanted, she was scared. Maybe the best thing to do was to protect her heart, slow things down a little, and make double-sure she’d chosen well.
THE NEXT DAY, the Sharks won. Seth always enjoyed a decisive win, but beating their arch-rivals, the Miners, was even sweeter. He piled into the locker room with his hugging, fist-pumping, and cheering teammates for their post-game celebration. The guys formed a large circle. Their coach stepped into the center.
“Men. Great job today.” He waited for the shouts, back-slapping, and cheering to die down somewhat. “The path to the playoffs is clear. Nobody’s getting in our way but us.” He held up a game-used football. “And today’s game ball goes to the defense. We haven’t held an opponent scoreless in five seasons. Even better, you also held them to less than a hundred yards of offense. Your teamwork and dedication showed. And I appreciate it.”
There was more chanting and cheering.
“So, let’s go home. Next week we’ll play in front of our fans. And next week, we’re going to win again. Because that’s what we do.”
Seth showered, dressed, negotiated the post-game press scrum outside of the locker room door, and headed toward the waiting team bus. He wanted the comforts of home. Right now, he wanted Jillian even more.
He’d called her a couple of times today. She didn’t answer her phone, but he got a succinct CONGRATULATIONS! GREAT GAME! text in response. The Sharks would be at the airport in an hour, and he’d be at her apartment two hours later. He parked his ass in a bus seat and pulled on his headphones while he waited for his teammates.
He must have fallen asleep for a few minutes. He opened his eyes to a commotion. Zach Anderson was shaking his shoulder.
“Hey, sleepyhead, wake up. We’re going back to the hotel overnight.”
“What? Why?”
“The team plane needs repairs, and they need a part flown in to fix it. We’re leaving for Seattle in the morning. They think. I’d better call Cameron so she doesn’t worry.” He whipped the cell out of his jacket pocket and turned away from Seth.
Seth grabbed for his own phone to text Jillian. WE’RE STAYING OVERNIGHT HERE. I’LL CALL YOU IN THE MORNING.
He tried to call Jillian several times over the next day and a half. It turned out the part needed by the mechanics working on the team’s plane must have been brought in by donkey cart from New Jersey or something. The team was still stranded in San Francisco late on Monday night. Even worse than being stuck, she wasn’t calling him back. He knew she was okay; he’d called her desk phone at the office and she answered.
“Seth, I’m so sorry, but I can’t talk with you right now,” she’d said. He thought he heard strain in her voice. “The phones are crazy, and Vivian’s out today.”
“Got it,” he said. “If our plane isn’t ready by late this afternoon, some of the guys are flying commercial to get home.”
“It sounds pretty frustrating,” she said. “John’s line is ringing again. I have to go.”
She clicked over to the other call before he could tell her he’d come over to her apartment to talk when he got back. He was climbing the walls in a hotel room, but even more, it was pretty obvious that something was seriously wrong between him and Jillian. She wasn’t talking to him, and he couldn’t figure out the problem from 750 air miles away.
They’d spent an amazing night together. He wanted her and nobody else. Why was she pulling away from him now?
JILLIAN’S PHONE RANG at eleven fifteen that night. She glanced over at the nightstand. It was Seth. She hit “Talk” and said, “Hello?”
“Listen, Buttercup, we’re on our way home. Do you want me to stop by your place when we get there?” He sounded so happy, and it made her heart hurt.
“I have to go to work tomorrow morning. That might not be a great idea.”
“Then let’s get together tomorrow night for dinner. We should talk about a few things.”
“Sure,” she said. “I should be able to leave a little after six.”
“Got it,” he said. “It’ll be fun.”
“Have a safe trip home.”
“Sweet dreams,” he said.
“Good night,” she whispered and ended the call.
SETH ARRIVED AT the practice facility on Wednesday before six AM for his work week. He hadn’t had much sleep last night, but it couldn’t be helped. November in Seattle was a challenge. It was still dark. The sunrise wouldn’t happen for another two hours. Wispy gray clouds scudded over a midnight-blue sky. The chilly wind off Lake Washington went straight to his bones as he got out of his Escalade. And he couldn’t stop thinking about Jillian, who was probably still asleep in a nest of soft, warm blankets at her apartment.
He grabbed the electronic key out of his wallet and swiped it in the card reader that admitted him to the Sharks’ locker room. He was here at oh-dark-thirty because he needed to get some lifting and running in before the appointment he’d made with John via text yesterday. It was in his best interest to remain calm and factual during the conversation. Mostly, he’d spent the past two days forcing down his confusion and anger.
Chasing Jillian: A Love and Football Novel Page 19