He grabbed my shoulder and spun me back around, and I took a few more steps in that general direction while my heart started pounding uncontrollably. I thought about how many nights Trey and I had sat in those seats together watching the games, how we had laughed and talked about ERAs and batting averages, and how he had knelt down on the steps directly in front of me… Directly in front of where Cole was right that moment.
Can’t do it. Can’t do it. Can’t do it.
I spun around and bumped into Cole again. This time he wasn’t quite so kind about it.
“What is wrong with you?” he asked. “I swear, if you knock over this six dollar lemonade, Camdyn…”
“It’s Trey,” I blurted, trying to read his face and seeing nothing.
“What, this is where you…” He paused, looking at me with those searching eyes.
“Well, yes, but that’s not…” I said, trying to keep myself from hysterics. “I mean, Trey’s right there. These are his tickets. Charlie gave us his tickets.”
Cole looked over to the spot I indicated with my eyes, and he assessed Trey from afar, a muscle twitching in his jaw. I wondered frantically what he was thinking, but I hadn’t figured out how to read Cole yet, so I was absolutely puzzled. His dark eyes rested calmly on Trey for a few more seconds, and then he turned them back to me and twisted his mouth slightly to the side.
“Just tell me in very few words why you’re panicking right now,” Cole insisted, his eyes very serious.
“Mortification,” I breathed. “Embarrassment. Awkwardness.”
“You’re worried about me?” he asked, and I nodded. “If there’s no reason for me to be jealous, then keep walking.”
What was I supposed to do with that? Of course there was no reason for him to be jealous – if I had wanted to be with Trey, I would have been with him that very moment. That didn’t make me feel any less weird about the situation, though. Without any other option, I turned around and walked to the seat, only stopping when I was inches away from the man who once proposed to me. He turned as he sensed my presence.
“Camdyn?” he said in astonishment. “What happened to Charlie?”
“Trina had the baby,” I said simply, and he rose to his feet. He looked pretty much like he had the last time I saw him. His hair was a little longer in the front, but his green eyes were still bright against his tanned skin. When he reached out to hug me, I fought going into a panic.
“You look great,” he said, smiling. “I tried to get in touch with you – did Charlie tell you?”
Full on panic. Can’t. Breathe.
“Yeah, Trey,” I managed to muster, “I want you to meet my fiancé, Cole.” His eyes narrowed a little as he stared at my face, and then he smirked.
“I thought you rejected that guy,” he said curiously, and then looked past me at Cole, his eyes suddenly changing. “Different guy, shutting up now. Nice to meet you, man.”
Yeah, this isn’t embarrassing at all. I want to die.
“You remember my friend Jason?” Trey asked, pointing to the guy beside him.
“Of course, Jason, nice to see you again,” I stated, trying to regain my internal composure. I sat slowly in between Trey and Cole, sipping on my lemonade and watching the players take the field.
Nine innings. Totally doable.
“Camdyn is the coolest girl ever,” Trey said, leaning back so he could talk to Cole. “Just don’t ask her to hold your drink, ‘cause she’ll find some way to spill it.”
“This man knows you well,” Cole said with a laugh.
“Oh, yeah, me and Camdyn were baseball buddies for a long time,” Trey continued. “She always sang the loudest, which I thought was awesome.”
I let their banter go on for a couple of minutes, and then I couldn’t take it anymore. I told Cole I needed to use the restroom, and I escaped as quickly as possible. Standing up above them looking down for a few moments, I couldn’t shake the terrible apprehension I felt, and then something happened that completely shocked me. My unbelievable, handsome fiancé stood up, moved over, and sat down right next to Trey. At first I thought maybe he moved so I wouldn’t be sitting so close to another man who once proposed to me, but that thought evaporated when I realized that the two of them were talking and laughing together.
Was being friends worse than being jealous? I wasn’t entirely sure. I made my way back to our section and moved over to our seats, and Cole just smiled up at me. I dropped into the seat he had previously occupied and looked at him curiously as he pointed out to the field and said something to Trey. About that time the Cardinals got a base hit, and Cole and Trey were both up on their feet in record time, cheering together. It was strange and unexpected and it was making me extremely nervous.
Cole reached over and took my hand after a minute and pressed a kiss against my cheek, and he laughed when I half-glared at him.
“Trey’s brother played ball with me at the University of Tennessee,” Cole explained.
“You remember Travis, don’t you Camdyn?” Trey asked me then.
“Sure, Travis,” I mumbled. I couldn’t say that I really thought much of Travis – he seemed pretty shallow and self-consumed.
“Oh, I just thought of a great story,” Trey interjected. “Do you remember the time you stood up to cheer for that double-play and knocked your nachos on that dude’s head? Man, I so thought I was getting pummeled that night. That dude was so mad.”
“Please stop laughing with him,” I asked Cole as he chuckled next to me. He just shrugged his shoulders and went back to watching the game.
“Oh, Camdyn, remember that guy that Charlie almost got into a fight with?” Trey leaned past Cole so he could look at me. “That drunk guy who grabbed you instead of his old lady? Then he finally admitted that he knew you weren’t her, but you were better looking so he didn’t care?”
Make him stop, please!
“I’m gonna text Travis and tell him I’m watching the game with you,” Trey said to Cole. “Talk about a crazy coincidence!”
Yes, except Cole doesn’t believe in coincidence. I wonder what the reason for this interaction is, if that’s the case. And so much for this being a date. Here I was thinking Cole and I would get to spend some quality time together, and he winds up spending it with Trey? Ugh.
All of a sudden there was a crack of the bat and a ball went flying into deep left. Standing up simultaneously, Cole and I watched the ball as it sailed up into the stands, and then I jumped up with a cheer. Cole smiled down at me as I watched the runner round the bases, and then he leaned close to my ear and told me I was beautiful. I was almost able to forget that Trey was present at all, until he started laughing and held out his phone.
“Travis says you were a heck of a ball player, but you stole his girlfriend, twice,” Trey informed Cole with a laugh. “Dude, that’s hilarious. I’m gonna tell him you’re engaged to Camdyn.” Cole looked at me warily, those dark eyebrows lifted momentarily in an apologetic way. For a minute I thought maybe he felt sorry for me, and I started feeling sympathy for him, but it was soon replaced with justified anger at the whole situation. I pointed behind us to the snack area as if to tell Cole that he should have listened to me in the first place and just stood in the shade, but no, he had to come sit down by Trey and be all friendly and ruin the entire ballgame.
As a side thought, had Trey always said dude so much? It sounded strange, but then I had never really paid that much attention to him when we were together. I was there for the games, after all, not the company. I began imagining the way my life would have looked if I had accepted Trey’s proposal, talking about baseball stats every night during dinner and washing his endless collection of Cardinals shirts. I shuddered at the thought as he laughed again and showed his phone to Cole, presumably to see the returned text from Travis. The weird look that crossed Cole’s face was enough to make me momentarily crazy enough to snatch the phone from Trey and glance at it myself. It said, “I guess he stole both our girlfriends then. LOL.”
Except I was never Trey’s girlfriend. LOL at that, Travis.
I was instantly furious and trying to keep the anger off my face, because I knew it was stupid, really. I didn’t care a whit about anything Travis said, and even though I couldn’t remember Trey being quite so obnoxious, I was sure my senses were heightened due to being uncomfortable with both Trey and Cole near me. I started tapping my left heel against the ground, trying to release some of my pent up frustration, and Cole reached out and put his hand on my leg calmly and gave me a look that I could only describe as a deer in the headlights.
“Can you trade seats with me?” I asked without looking at him. Even though I refused to look his direction, he wasn’t taking his eyes off me as he leaned a little closer.
“I don’t know,” he said. “Are you going to hit anyone?”
Hit anyone? Not yet.
“Very funny,” I told him, finally turning to look him in the eye. “Trade me seats.” He didn’t say a word, but stood up slowly and let me slide in behind him. I gave him a fake smile to try to assure him that everything was okay, and he linked his fingers with mine and lifted my hand to his lips, kissing it as he let those deep brown eyes linger on my face. I leaned my head on his shoulder for a second, and then tried to go back to watching the game.
“Hey, Camdyn, do you remember the time that dude next to us went for the foul ball and hit you in the face?”
Yeah, Trey, it’s hard to forget getting a bloody nose at a baseball game.
“Didn’t I hear that they want to trade the second baseman?” I asked nonchalantly, sending Trey into a veritable tirade about which players should be traded and which shouldn’t. Even Jason started to cringe, and I started to feel a little guilty about unleashing him on the people in front of us. I probably shouldn’t have goaded Trey on like that, knowing what would happen, but I really wanted him to leave me alone so I could watch the game and enjoy being with Cole. Was that too much to ask?
“Remember that one game where you forgot your phone under the seat, and when we came back we ran into…”
“Yes, I remember,” I told him. We happened upon one of the players by chance that night, and Trey stood there stupidly while I chatted with him. He didn’t think to ask for an autograph until he had already walked away.
Trying again to focus on the game, I glanced at the scoreboard to find out how many outs we had and the pitch count. I had just figured out what was going on when Trey started in again.
“What about that one time…” Trey began, but I couldn’t take anymore.
“Hey, Trey, do you remember that time that you weren’t paying attention to the game, and the Cubs hit a home run, and you stood up and cheered?” I didn’t even look over at him – simply watched home plate as the batter took a strike.
“Dude, that’s not cool,” was all he replied.
“No, it was certainly not cool,” I told him, hearing a couple of snickers in front of me and receiving confirmation that I wasn’t the only one being annoyed by Trey at the moment. I dared to glance over at Cole and he was laughing softly as he watched the game. He squeezed my hand a little tighter and I pushed as close as I could towards him in my seat, concentrating on the batter.
The rest of the game went by in a more pleasant fashion, with Trey largely talking only to Jason and Cole and I left to ourselves. We bought some popcorn in the fifth inning, stood and sang during the seventh inning stretch, and cheered loudly for a two-run homer in the bottom of the eighth. By the time the game had ended, I was able to give Trey a breezy goodbye and Cole shook his hand before we walked hand in hand up the steps on our trek out of the stadium. When we were out on the street and headed for the truck, Cole released my hand and put his arm around my shoulders, pulling me to him.
On our way back to Charlie’s house, neither one of us was in a very talkative mood. I knew the night had been really strange for me, so I assumed it had for Cole as well. I looked over at him, watching as the glow of the street lights passed over his face, and the corner of his mouth turned into a smile.
“I know, staring,” I chuckled, turning to look out the window pensively. “What Travis said – did you really steal his girlfriends?”
Of course not, he’ll say. Do I seem like the kind of guy who goes around stealing other peoples’ girlfriends? I would never do something like that. He must have me confused with someone else.
He didn’t say that, though. He just shrugged his shoulders, kept his eyes ahead on the road, and said, “Probably.”
Probably – just like that, in a nonchalant way, as though it was no big deal.
We pulled into Charlie’s driveway, and Cole turned the truck off and looked over at me, his face half shadowed in the darkness. The horrible thought crossed my mind that I might not really know Cole at all, after such a short time, and maybe I was rushing into things. But then I remembered with a jolt to a few hours before, when he had rushed back to Charlie’s just so he could mow his lawn, and I knew in my heart who Cole was.
“Probably?” I asked weakly. “What do you mean, probably?” He looked at me sadly and let out a deep sigh as I sat there helplessly staring into his eyes.
“Camdyn, I told you before that I’m not proud of the person I was then,” he stated, “and I’m afraid talking about it is only going to make you think less of me.”
Would it? Wow, this was turning out to be a horrible night.
“You don’t have to talk about it,” I told him. “I just…how can you say probably?”
“Because I don’t know.”
I reached out for him then – I just needed to touch him, to feel like this night wasn’t going to change things between us. I rested my hand on his arm, feeling the muscles tense underneath his t-shirt, and then relax slowly as he took a deep breath.
“How can you not know whether you stole one of your teammates’ girlfriends?” I whispered, trying to find some sense in what he was saying. I watched as his eyes grew moist, and for a split second I thought I might be sick.
“Because I did that all the time,” he said thickly, turning away from me and looking out at Charlie’s house as he cleared his throat. “I was… I did whatever I wanted, and I didn’t care who I hurt in the process, and I’m ashamed of who I was. But that’s not who I am anymore. I’ve spent a lot of time trying to be a different man…the kind of man who would deserve to be with you, if and when I ever met you.”
“The kind of man who doesn’t want to be alone with me,” I suggested quietly, causing him to turn and smile as he shook his head.
“No, I could never be that man,” he laughed, “because every part of me wants to be alone with you. But I can be a man who treats you with the respect you deserve. I can even be a man who sits next to another guy who once proposed to my fiancée, even though my first instinct is to punch him in the face.”
“Oh, Cole,” I said as I laughed, wrapping my arms around him tightly. “How could I ever think less of you when I’m so grateful to be yours?” His arms went around me then, warm and comforting, and he rested his chin lightly against my hair.
“I’m counting the days until you are mine, Camdyn,” he whispered, “wholly and completely.”
The house was quiet when we entered, and we found pillows and blankets on the couch, as well as pajamas that Trina and Charlie had set out for each of us. Smiling at their thoughtfulness, I took Trina’s pajamas into the bathroom and changed, brushing my teeth and washing my face. When I returned to the living room, I spread a blanket out on the floor with a pillow, and another on the couch. Thinking about Cole in the bathroom, I settled myself onto the floor and pulled the blanket around me, closing my eyes. I heard his footsteps coming across the floor without needing to see him, and he stopped behind me. I imagined him looking at the makeshift bed I had made for him on the couch, and I smiled a little to myself. Not hearing the couch creak or settle behind me, I was getting ready to turn and look when I was scooped up and lifted into the air like a child, and then r
otated around to the couch, where Cole set me down gently. He knelt down beside me and pushed my hair away from my face.
“I’ll take the floor,” he said as he ran his fingers across my jaw. He leaned down to brush his lips against my cheek, and I held him there until he kissed me, so tenderly that I thought I might cry. When he situated himself on the floor, I thought I would never be able to sleep with him so near to me. The exhaustion from the night before soon won out, though, and I drifted into darkness.
Sometime in the night, I managed to sit up and blink my eyes a couple of times and realize that Cole was gone. I craned my neck to see if he was in the bathroom, and then I caught sight of his form near the window. Wearing Charlie’s plaid pajama pants and a white t-shirt, he turned slightly and I saw that he was cradling Cooper in his arms, rocking him back and forth. I sunk down a little so he wouldn’t notice me watching him, and I stared lovingly at the man who would be my husband. I thanked God for whatever happened in his life that made him decide to be the man I saw before me, and prayed that somehow I would be able to deserve his love.
Chapter Seven
Trina’s mother showed up the next day around noon, and Cole and I reluctantly said our goodbyes and headed back to Tennessee. I had enjoyed spending time with Trina, and of course I would miss little Cooper, but mostly I wished we could have stayed longer so I could watch Charlie and Cole together. They had so easily become friends, it was almost as though they had known each other forever.
So much had changed in the short period of time since I met Cole that it seemed that nothing would ever be constant, but I was still surprised at how much our relationship changed in one night. More specifically, I was surprised at how much my feelings toward Cole had changed. The night before had all the makings of a disaster. Once I looked back on the events of that evening, though, I couldn’t help but admire Cole so much more. He admitted that his first instinct was to punch Trey in the face, yet he sat next to him and laughed and talked like a complete gentleman. When I thought about what was revealed about Cole’s past, I couldn’t stop thinking about the great lengths he had gone to in order to change who he was, and I felt a new admiration for him. And when I had seen him with Cooper in the middle of the night… Well, any man who acted like that when he thought no one was looking had to be absolutely remarkable.
A Reason to Be Alone (The Camdyn Series Book 2) Page 8