“I’m Bill. Pleased to meet you, Alex.”
“Likewise, Freewill,” he said, indicating my status as a one-man vampire freak show. “And I presume you are Sally.” He turned toward her. “I was told you were quite stunning, but I daresay the reports did not do you justice.”
To my surprise, she actually blushed – quite the feat for someone lacking a pulse. Damn, Alex was a playa.
He gave her an appraising look. “I hope you did not go through a lot of trouble to make yourself presentable just for my arrival.”
“Oh, this? I just threw on something real quick,” she replied as if she hadn’t spent the greater part of the week under Alfonzo’s care. Now it was my turn to eye-roll.
I had to admit, Alex was one smooth character. No wonder the Draculas employed his services as a diplomat. He had disarmed both Sally and me within seconds, the former accomplishment being something I had yet to master.
“We all have a lot to discuss, so we should get started right away ... as soon as I make use of the facilities, if I may.”
“Sure,” I replied. “Make yourself at home.” I pointed him toward the bathroom.
He stopped at the doorway, no doubt noticing the numerous dents in the door and newly splintered wood in the frame. He turned back and gave us a questioning look.
“Oh, don’t mind that,” I said. “I was combing my hair earlier and Sally had a burrito for lunch. When you gotta go...”
He gave a sheepish smile in reply and then entered.
As the door clicked shut, I yelled to him, “There’s some air freshener in the cabinet if you need ... OUCH!” Damn, Sally could hit hard when she wanted to.
♦ ♦ ♦
Alex returned to find us sitting on the couch waiting for him, me still rubbing my arm. The phrase “hits like a girl” definitely did not apply to the saucy little blonde in the room.
Ignoring whatever had occurred during his brief foray in the restroom, Alex sat in a chair opposite us and opened his bag. He pulled out a ruggedized laptop and proceeded to boot it up. Apparently, ancient scrolls written on parchment made from human flesh was passé these days. Nobody believed in setting the proper mood anymore.
“Care for a glass of blood before we get started?” I asked, trying to be cordial. My thoughts regarding the Draculas aside, if this guy held favor with them, then that probably meant he wasn’t exactly a spring chicken. The older the vampire, the stronger. I didn’t see any need to get on this guy’s bad side and discover just how quickly he could kick my ass.
“No thank you,” he replied, typing on the keyboard. “I had a light snack on the way over.”
I didn’t ask him to elaborate. Knowing vampires, I wouldn’t be the least bit surprised to read about some missing cabbie in the morning paper. Friendly or not, I needed to remind myself that Alex was probably a top notch killer. It was best not to get too enamored of him, especially since his primary job was to prep me on how to be the Draculas’ fall guy.
Seeing that the small talk was rapidly fizzling out, I proceeded to sit there and wait. Sally, too, was unusually quiet. Our normal banter aside, it was starting to sink in just how serious this was ... or more precisely, just how deep the shit we were both standing in was.
After a few more moments of uncomfortable silence, Alex pulled his eyes away from the screen. “Before we begin,” he started, “I should point out a few nuances of your situation. Both of you are far too young to have had any serious dealings with the First Coven.” I opened my mouth to say something, but he held up a hand. “I am aware, Freewill, of your dealings with the Khan. Suffice to say, that circumstance was anything but typical.”
“Thank God,” I muttered.
A look very close to amusement passed through Alex’s freaky eyes. “The first thing I shall say is that you should both consider it an honor. It is almost unheard of for the First to have dealings with any of our kind less than a century in age. The First are not particularly tolerant of children.” He put a heavy emphasis on that last part.
Thinking back to Gan, my mouth decided to have a mind of its own. “I don’t blame the Draculas. Kids these days,” I said with a laugh, only to realize I was the only one in the room grinning.
Alex had a look of mild disapproval on his face, while Sally’s eyes were wide open in shock. “Yes, about that,” said Alex. “I should warn you that the First are not particularly fond of that nickname. Their agents have been given authority to make liberal examples of offenders.”
“You’re one of their agents, aren’t you?”
“Yes.”
“Way to go, Bill,” Sally quipped quietly.
Again, Alex smiled. “I think, considering the circumstances, we can forgo the formalities of this offense for the time being. However, you should know that the First are not particularly known for their forgiveness.”
“Point taken.”
“Good. Now, is it correct that the Wanderer filled you in on some of the details as to why you have been chosen?”
“The Wanderer?” Sally asked.
“James,” I replied to her. As I had learned in China, the dude had a lot of nicknames. He apparently got around. I then said to Alex, “Yeah, he brought us up to speed on the whys. I’m to be their proxy to this event because ... THEY’RE A BUNCH OF PUSSIES AND I’M OBVIOUSLY FUCKING EXPENDABLE!”
Well, okay, that’s what I thought. I really finished with, “because I’m the Freewill and thus considered to be highly honored.”
“Essentially correct. The Grendel demand that...”
“Grendel?”
“Yes,” he replied. “Our adversaries at the table...”
“You call them the Grendel?”
“They have lots of names.”
“So I’m learning,” I said. “Isn’t ‘Grendel’ a little insulting, considering how Beowulf kicked its ass?”
“Very astute of you,” Alex replied with a hint of approval. “Yes, it is. Therefore we don’t call them that in their presence.”
“Cool. So Beowulf was a vampire?”
“Not quite. He was one of the Shining Ones.”
Seeing our confused looks, he added, “Sorry. I sometimes forget that name has fallen out of usage in recent years. I believe you refer to them as Icons.”
There was that word again. Apparently, many of the famous monster slayers of old were actually these so-called Icons. From what I had been led to believe, they were actually a bunch of egomaniacs. Even so, somehow their belief in their own badassery actually made it so. They were able to empower themselves with faith, a form of magic that’s not too compatible with vampires or other supernatural creatures, wizards included.
These guys got around back in the day, and by that, I mean kicked everyone’s asses. According to the wizards, supposedly my birth meant they were returning too. Hoo boy, shit was definitely going to start getting real. Assuming, of course, I managed not to get my head ripped off by a pack of apes with lots of names – each stupider than the last.
Yes, This is One of Those Exposition Chapters
“Are you still paying attention?” Alex asked.
“Of course,” I lied. He had been droning on about politics and places at the table for over an hour. He lost me about halfway through, going on about the supposed high honor bestowed upon me by Bigfoot.
“Then you understand the significance of signing this treaty anew?”
“Well...”
“Anew?” asked Sally. “I keep hearing that. So what happened to the old treaty?”
“Yeah ... what she said,” I unhelpfully added.
“Very well,” Alex replied. “I suppose a little history is in order. Although keep in mind what I am about to share with you...”
“...is First Coven business, for our ears only, blah blah blah.”
He stopped and stared at me for a moment. Again, a smile broke out on his face. “You certainly are a refreshing individual compared to those I usually deal with.”
“Thanks.”
>
“Pity most of the elders would not see it in that light. It could get you killed one day.”
“I’m more concerned about not getting killed by the Alma, Sasquatch, or fucking Forest Folk in the here and now.” I should’ve been watching my tone, but Alex’s easygoing attitude was a bit disarming, so I found myself speaking more and more freely.
“Either way you look at it, Bill’s not exactly building a huge friend list,” Sally chimed in. Guess she was feeling the same about him.
“Very well. Probably a wise attitude, to be concerned with the present,” Alex replied. “As for your question, Sally, our original treaty with the Grendel stretches back over five thousand years.”
“Holy shit!” I said. “We’re talking cradle of civilization here, aren’t we?”
“Very much so. The rise of man triggered the first great war with the Grendel.”
“Why?”
“Well, this was a long time ago and records are a little sketchy, but from what we know, it was all about encroachment. As human civilization grew, it also expanded. The Grendel, being nature spirits, took offense to this. They considered it an affront, that mankind had begun to defile the lands with their continued expansion.”
“Kind of like druids in D&D?” I asked. As expected, that drew an eye-roll from Sally. Alex, however, just looked at me with a confused expression. Jeez, was I the only vampire on the planet who was into role playing? “It’s a game,” I explained.
“I see,” he replied in a tone that suggested quite the opposite. “Alas, what we are talking about here is no game. Insulted and feeling threatened, the Grendel launched an all-out war against humanity.”
“So where do the vampires come into this?”
“An excellent question. Before humanity’s rise, we were different than we are now ... or so I am told. In fact, we were not entirely dissimilar to the Grendel at the time. However, something happened. Whether accidental or not, I do not know. What I do know is that we somehow became tied to the human race. Our spirits coexisted with and amongst theirs. It was the beginning of our kind as we know it today.”
“I think I see,” replied Sally. “So when the apes began killing off our supply of junk food, we took offense.”
“It goes deeper than that. In linking ourselves with humanity, as they thrived, so did we. We had no choice but to enter the fray against the Grendel. If human civilization had perished, we would have followed. Thus, for a time, we fought side by side with humankind as brothers.”
“So what happened?”
“Mesopotamia became a blood bath. At first, the Grendel were both stronger and more numerous. However, humanity spread quickly and learned even faster. They mastered tools and weapons. They built impregnable city states. In time, some mastered the use of magic as well. With our strength added to theirs, the sides became evenly matched.”
“And?” Sally and I both asked, now entirely engrossed.
“And it continued that way for a millennium until eventually all sides grew weary of the constant slaughter.”
“All sides?” I asked.
“Yes, for by then nearly all aspects of both the natural and unnatural world had been drawn into the fray on one side or the other. It was truly the first world war. Even human history, which is a dreadfully forgetful thing, remembers bits and pieces of it: the great flood, the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah, stories of the Nephilim, et cetera.”
“So they worked it out?”
“In a manner of speaking, yes. There was a great summit between the powers of the world, not unlike that which we are preparing for now. After nearly a year of deliberation and debate between the parties, the Humbaba Accord was signed.”
“Humbaba?” I chuckled. “Sounds like some bizarre sexual position.”
“Not that you would know,” Sally countered.
“Bite me.”
“Not even if I was up to date on my shots.”
“Eh hem!” Alex cleared his throat, distracting us from our banter. “Thank you. Humbaba was the name of the Grendel leader at the time. It was he who originally proposed the terms of the treaty.”
“So what were these terms?”
“The entire treaty was several dozen scrolls in length. The main gist of it, though, was a dividing line. The Grendel would get the forests while our kind would stay within the confines of the cities. Humanity would be allowed to continue to build their civilizations as long as certain areas of spiritual significance to the Grendel were considered off limits.”
“So in other words,” I offered, “vampires became the cool urban types, while the Bigfeet became the rubes.”
“I am not sure I would put it quite that way, but essentially correct. The treaty was signed in blood, and aside from occasional isolated skirmishes, it has been respected ever since.”
“So what changed?”
Alex sighed. “Humanity. They have forgotten the lessons of the past. Creatures such as ourselves have been forced to step back and fade into the realm of superstition.”
“So? It’s not like Bigfoot is exactly considered real either.”
“That is not their concern. Perception is irrelevant. All that matters to the Grendel are that in the past few hundred years humanity’s forward march has gotten ever more aggressive. Forests are being cut down. Fields are paved over. The jungles are being burned away.”
“Which has what to do with us?”
“It has everything to do with us. We dwell within and amongst humanity. As they expand, so do we. Though relegated to the shadows, we have continued to thrive as humanity has grown. The Grendel are aware of mankind’s short memory and have been mostly tolerant of them. We, however, are immortal. They consider the fact that we allow humanity to grow unchecked to be a blatant disregard for the Accord. Ever since the Industrial Revolution began, there have been rumblings that some amongst the Grendel are actively accusing us of being in abeyance of the treaty.”
“Oh.”
“‘Oh’ does not even remotely cover it. The attack on the Khan was not just the latest in a series of clashes between us. It was meant to convey a message. By striking out at one of our ruling council, they have declared the treaty null and void. Open warfare could be declared at any time.”
“And if that happens?” I ventured, already having a sneaking suspicion that the answer would not be good.
“If that happens, then the veil will be lifted. All of humanity’s darkest nightmares will be revealed as reality. The world will become a battleground.”
Vacation Daze
I couldn’t help but have doubts about Alex’s sense of impending doom. Even if what he said was true and Sasquatches suddenly came charging out of the woods en masse, I had a hard time imagining the plot from Rise of the Planet of the Apes becoming a reality. I voiced as much to him.
“You are correct at the most basic level,” he admitted. “The world has changed a great deal in five thousand years. Humanity’s capacity for destruction has grown exponentially. Many humans would die, but if it were only the Grendel waging war, then perhaps things would not be as dire as I make them out to be.”
The Tome of Bill Series: Books 1-4 (Bill The Vampire, Scary Dead Things, The Mourning Woods, Holier Than Thou) Page 64