“Worse?”
“Yeah, you could have been banging her.”
“Not helping.” I got up and started to pace, scores of thoughts racing through my head, none of them good. “It’s all coming true.”
“The prophecies?”
“Yes! Me leading our armies in battle, and now this. Despite what I said to Christy, I actually did it. I created the Icon!”
“I’m sure you didn’t create her.”
I trudged over and explained everything. How I had believed in Sheila and how that had somehow sunk in and caused a chain reaction. At last, Sally’s eyebrows raised in surprise.
“I take it back. You did create her. Damn.”
“Damn is right.”
“I’m so sorry, Bill,” she said, losing the attitude.
“So am I.”
“No, I mean I’m really sorry.”
“Why?”
“You have a thing for her, don’t you?”
I sighed. “You have no idea.”
“Well, I’ve been doing a little digging. After that whole situation with Decker and Gan, I had Colin send me any information in the archives about this.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. Sorry I didn’t tell you, but it all seemed like bad fairy tale bullshit.”
“What did?”
“The Freewill and the Icon ... you’re archenemies.”
“Historically, yeah. I know that.”
“No, eternally,” she said, dead serious. “There are more prophecies about this than you know ... hell, probably lots more than I could uncover. But, they all say the same thing. You’re either going to kill the Icon, or the Icon is going to kill you.”
“Are you sure?”
She nodded once in response.
I had no answer to that, not even a clue. I leaned forward on her desk and lowered my head, not wanting to think about it. As I did, something slipped out of the remains of my vest pocket. It fluttered down to the desk.
It was Sheila’s card, somehow undamaged. Perhaps enough of her aura had remained to protect it. Whatever the cause, Sally picked it up and read it.
“No fucking way.”
“What?” I asked despondently.
She flipped over the card so I could read it, too. I knew she was talking about the title, but the tagline did it for me. It confirmed what I already knew – that this was entirely my fault. I had done it. In trying to be supportive of my dream girl, I had somehow turned her into my greatest nightmare.
Iconic Efficiencies
We believe you can do better
-Sheila O’Connell, CEO
No fucking way, indeed.
I sank back down in the chair opposite Sally. Sometimes when life decided to shit all over you, it took a mega-dump. I had seen some dark moments since becoming a vampire, but this was the first time when I could see absolutely no hope on the horizon. Damn. To say that it sucked to be me would be the understatement of a lifetime.
“I have no idea what to do.”
“Same here,” she said, sitting across from me. After a moment, she added, “But we’ll figure out something.”
“We?”
“Of course. Partners forever, right?”
“Seriously?”
“One-hundred percent.”
To my surprise, I actually smiled. “You know, Sally, for all the times you’re a complete bitch, I could really hug you right now.”
“You could try,” she replied with a smirk, “but I’d kick your ass.”
I couldn’t help but laugh. It was a good feeling. I decided to enjoy it because it would most likely be the last real laugh I was going to have for quite some time.
THE END
Holier Than Thou
The Tome of Bill
Part IV
Part 1
Hungry, Almost Like the Wolf
They say man is the ultimate predator. Should he not also make the ultimate prey? It’s a thrilling concept. Imagine taking that to the next level, hunting a predator that’s even higher on the food chain. There’s a fitting reason it’s called the most dangerous game.
Running through the thick forest, I felt truly alive. The woods were pitch-black, but that wasn’t enough to slow me down. My supernaturally attuned eyes cut through all but the darkest gloom as I sought out my target. She thought she could evade me, perhaps even turn the tables and win. She would soon find out how wrong she was.
As I pursued her through the forest primordial, a small voice reminded me to be cautious. She was far more dangerous than the others. I indulged myself in memories of the ones already dispatched – two humans, frail and weak. In another life they had meant something, but not out here. The one called Ed had been the first to fall. She had seen to that. Tom was next, by my own hand. I had sensed his impending betrayal and been the first to act. He had begged for mercy, but received none – such is the way of my kind.
I stopped and got my bearings. Sounds, sights, and scents filled my very being. It was tempting to throw back my head and howl primal defiance at the moon, but that would be foolish. She might be listening. Though I felt no fear at facing her, I had no intention of giving her any edge.
There ... a scent, hers. It was intoxicating – awakening a deep need – but I pushed those thoughts away. I was here to hunt and would not be distracted quite so easily. Her smell played out across my hyper-sensitive nostrils for a moment before I bounded off into the darkness once more.
I savored the feel of the weapon in my hand. It would do nicely. She would never see it coming. It would be quick and clean ... if I wanted it to be. But I didn’t. She needed to know who had hunted her down. The look upon her face as she realized who had vanquished her would be too much of a prize to turn down. I smiled in anticipation and quickened my pace.
Victory was mine for the taking, as was fitting. Even amongst predators, I am at the very apex. My name is Bill Ryder and I’m a vampire, an immortal beast of the night – but that’s not all. I am the legendary Freewill of vampire lore. The others speak of me and my coming in hushed tones. A great destiny has been foretold for me. Much honor and glory shall be laid at my feet one day.
Feh! Let them keep their prophecies. I do not exist for them or the future they proclaim for me. No, I live only in the here and now ... and right now I was closing in on my prey.
♦ ♦ ♦
There! A lesser being might have missed it, but not me. The fabric of her jacket peeked through the foliage. She was lying in wait, hoping for an ambush. She was a smart girl, but sadly not smart enough.
I circled her position, keeping outside of her range. None, save perhaps another of my kind, would have been able to sense my presence. Therein lay the challenge. Though not of my lofty status, she had skill and power of her own. She might well be able to sense that I was advancing upon her.
I bent low, picked up a few pebbles from the ground, and held my breath as I counted to ten. The ruse would only fool her for seconds at best, so it would have to be fast.
Now! Pebbles rained down from the sky, disturbing the area where I had been only moments earlier. Before the last of them had hit the ground, I was once again on the move. Bringing all of my speed to bear, I raised my weapon and advanced upon her hiding spot.
She never saw me coming. There was no movement from the bushes, so intent was she on waiting for me to fall into her trap.
“It’s over, Sally.”
I pulled the trigger.
♦ ♦ ♦
My aim was true, but something was wrong. Though I struck her with multiple rounds, there was no movement at all. I stepped forward and cursed. It was her jacket, all right. It practically reeked of her perfume. But she herself was nowhere to be seen.
A quiet whisper floated from behind me out of the darkness.
“Dumbass.”
My body stiffened as shot after shot peppered me. It was over. I, the mighty Freewill, had been vanquished after all.
The Games that Children Play
<
br /> “That was just sad, Bill.”
“Did you have to shoot me so many times?”
“Stop whining.”
“Those paint pellets sting.”
“Good,” Tom cut in. “Serves you right for shooting me in the back, asshole.”
“What part about it being called a deathmatch did you not understand?” I replied, my tone extra condescending.
“Was still a dick thing to do. We were supposed to be partners.”
“There can be only one,” I replied blithely.
“Yeah,” said Sally, “and you’re not it.”
“I almost had you,” I replied, climbing into the back of the Dodge Durango she had procured for the trip. We had all known better than to ask where she had gotten it. Best case scenario was that it was stolen. Worst case ... well, Sally wasn’t known to be shy when it came to bumping off those who stood in her way.
“Horseshoes and hand grenades,” she answered as she climbed in next to me. “Besides, you tried a move that wouldn’t have fooled a grunt in basic training. I mean seriously, throwing rocks? I don’t think that even works in the movies.”
“Hey, at least I was trying to be tactical. Wasn’t that what you said I needed?”
Sally rolled her eyes in my direction. “When I said you needed some training, I didn’t mean an outing to play paintball.”
“I’m easing into it.”
“I’m with Bill,” Ed, my other roommate, said from the driver’s seat. “Besides, you have to admit it was fun.”
“No,” she shot back. “The only thing I’ll admit is that I can feel my social status dropping several notches. This is not how I prefer to spend my weekends.”
“Sorry,” I muttered, “next time we’ll bring along a stripper pole so you feel more at home.”
Tom started to chuckle, but immediately clamped a hand over his mouth. No doubt he remembered she sat directly behind him and was more than capable of tearing his spine out through the front seat if the mood so came over her.
“I get it,” she said to me, ignoring him. “You need a break, something to take your mind off of things.”
“Don’t start, Sally.”
“But this really isn’t doing anything to prepare you.”
“Sally...” I warned through gritted teeth.
“It’s been a full month since things went down in Canada. That’s a long time to have your head in the sand when all-out war could erupt at any moment.”
I turned away from her and watched the dark road slip by as we drove. The impending war wasn’t what I was hiding from, and she knew it. Don’t get me wrong, I was pretty damn worried. An army of nine foot apes potentially running out of the forests at any moment, screaming their heads off, would be enough to cause anyone to lose their cool.
Hell, that wasn’t even the worst of it. If the vampire nation went to war with their ancient enemies, Bigfoot (and yes that sounded just as ridiculous to me), all of our allies from the dawn of time would be drawn into it. We’re talking primal gods and shit like that – beings that would be the equivalent of walking nuclear arsenals – creatures that have been itching to re-reveal themselves to mankind. Not cool.
“There’s also the issue of...”
“Here she goes,” Ed muttered.
“Your ... friend,” she finished, dropping her voice to a bare whisper – almost spitting out that last part.
I was sorely tempted to open the door and dive out. It wouldn’t kill me or even hurt ... hopefully. Though not much to look at – five-ten, a little overweight, glasses – I was still a vampire and had access to all of their powers, like superhuman strength, speed, durability – not to mention, the inability to die. Scraping my face off the pavement wouldn’t exactly be a walk in paradise, but it wouldn’t keep me down. With any luck I’d be up, running, and a mile away before they even stopped the car. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t seriously consider it.
Still, Sally was right. I had been avoiding the issue at hand and with good reason: Sheila. The world was on the brink of global annihilation, but all I could think about was my girlfriend (well, okay, prospective girlfriend). Had I known a year ago that I would be turned into one of the undead – and subsequently set in motion the chain of events that had occurred – I would have jumped in front of a bus.
Fine, maybe I wouldn’t have. But I would have at least made it a point to stay home that fateful night. Sally was a piece of ass, as were many of the other members of the coven I became a member (and eventual leader) of, but she had turned out to be every bit as dangerous as she was beautiful. Had I been thinking with my brain instead of my dick, my life would have continued down its boring, but predictably safe, path. It also wouldn’t have resulted in the girl of my dreams being transformed into my foretold nemesis...
“You’re not listening to a word I’m saying are you?” Sally asked with a sigh, interrupting my train of thought.
“And that’s different from every other time, how?” I quipped, earning another eye-roll.
Snickers from the front seat diverted her attention again. I knew she had a sense of humor, sick though it might be, but she never turned down an opportunity to remind my human friends how easily she could kill them. She took pleasure in tormenting Tom especially.
My thoughts veered again toward Sheila. She was the former administrative assistant at my job, now the owner of her own office efficiency company. She was also, coincidentally, the love of my life and the being I was destined to either kill or be killed by as predicted by vampire prophets. Relationships sure could be a bitch.
It’s the same with most guys. One day we meet a girl and it just clicks for us. Whether it’s fate, pheromones, or our imaginations fucking with us, we find ourselves planning the rest of our lives around a person we just laid eyes on. A few eventually end up together and happily live out that fantasy. Others, not so much. For some, I’m sure life just gets in the way. The desire is there, but the timing is never right. In other words, shit happens. As for the rest, even if they do end up together, reality eventually comes crashing in. They get old, fat, and grow to hate each other. Then there’s that very small lucky minority in which the girl turns out to be an equally legendary creature, one who is fated to send the other’s soul screaming to the dark Hell it deserves.
Guess which lottery I won.
Back to the Grind
“Drop us off at the Loft,” Sally told Ed. It was not a request.
We had avoided getting back to the discussion at hand during the remainder of our drive back from Pennsylvania. Between my banter with Sally and Tom’s general idiocy, she was distracted enough to keep from needling me about duties and whatnot. Unfortunately, my luck was about to run out.
“Us?”
“You heard me,” she said still facing forward. “You’ve had enough play time. You are officially back on the clock.”
“But...”
She turned and glared at me. “But what? Let me guess, you have important plans for the rest of the evening?”
“Well, sorta. I was going to...”
“If you say the name of that stupid game ... what is it, War World?”
“World of Warcraft,” Ed corrected her.
“Thank you,” she replied, still facing me. “If you even think of saying that, I’m going to kick your ass right here.”
Damn. Either she knew me too well or she had my place bugged. Truth be told, I wasn’t sure which scenario was more likely.
“Ooh, can I watch?”
Sally turned to Tom, fangs bared. “I’ll throw in a beat-down for you too if you want, meat-sack.”
His mouth clamped shut and she turned her focus back to me.
“Well...” I stammered, trying to think of something else to say. Goddamnit, I hated when she was right. Unfortunately, she was right about a lot of things.
Sue me for being almost human, but I’m pretty sure the events of the past several weeks would’ve been too much for any sane person to endure.
Thanks to the misguided affections of Gan, a three-hundred year old vampire princess in a pint-sized body, Turd’s ugly-ass daughter wound up on the business end of a silver pig-sticker. I wouldn’t have minded much – being that I was expected to marry the hairy she-beast – except for the part where they sort of took offense to her murder and declared war on the vampire nation. Yeah, that fucked me big time.
The Tome of Bill Series: Books 1-4 (Bill The Vampire, Scary Dead Things, The Mourning Woods, Holier Than Thou) Page 93