by Jill Cooper
It’s doubtful that he can. He unstraps my arms and helps me sit-up. “Get some rest tonight and do take care of yourself. Staying hydrated could keep those headaches at bay.”
Strange enough, it does feel as if he really cares.
I rub my wrists and stare down at them. It feels as if I’m a captive at Rewind all over again, except the scars from the restraints have long healed, still, when I look at my skin, I still see them. “Have you been sending death threats to my stepfather?”
Before my eyes, Xavier’s face drops and disbelief sets in. “I would never…never.” He’s adamant and with straight arms sweeps them across the air as if he’s trying to rid himself of the very idea of violence.
I hop off the chair and push my hand into the center of his chest. “I hope you’re telling the truth.”
“Of course, I am. I’m not…a murderer.” His face twists up as he says it and by God, I believe him. I believe him.
Then who? If someone is going to murder Jax, who else could give the word, other than the person that’s running Rewind?
Unless… “Oh my God,” I release my hand and Xavier adjusts his shirt, “I’ve been so stupid.”
Xavier didn’t want Jax dead. Rewind of the future did . That’s where the time travel assassin had come from. The order didn’t come from Xavier. Someone in the future was going all Sarah Connor on Jax.
But who? Why?
What is Jax going to do that Rewind wants to stop? Why haven’t they tried again? Is it possible that whatever I’ve done has already derailed Jax from his future actions? Maybe Jax is still alive because I have the diaries and that changed the future.
There’s no way to know for sure.
“Thanks.” I stick my hands into my pockets and Xavier escorts me out to the waiting room. Mom and Donovan stand when they see me, their faces beaming with relief.
“Thank God.” Mom hugs me and as I turn to Donovan, I get the same treatment. It’s nice to be greeted so warmly.
“Where are the twins?”
“With your dad. Thank God, they didn’t have to be brought here. I tried to reach Jax…” Mom’s voice trails off. “It’s not like him not to pick up.”
“What?” My voice warbles. Jax… “Try him again.”
“Lara, I’m sure.” Mom tries to argue with me, but I shout without meaning to. My heart is already telling me he’s gone and I won’t settle for it. I won’t.
“Try him again!”
Donovan puts his hand on my shoulder to calm me down and Mom’s hands are shaking as she takes her phone out of her purse.
“There’s no need.” The British voice says from behind me. “I’ve got him right here.”
I pivot on my heel to see the man in the dark coat coming from around the corner. He has Jax by the back of the neck. My stepdad’s face is bloody and beaten. His hands bruised. Mom screams, “Jax!”
The assassin pushes him toward us. Jax falls and slumps to the ground. His arms struggle to push himself up, but he’s weak. They tremble under the strain and he mumbles incoherently. “The diaries…”
My heart stops, but I don’t let my face show how scared I am. Mom runs to Jax and slides on her knees beside him. The worry and love on her face are real as she touches his back. She rolls him over, cradling his face in her hands. He’s barely conscious and Mom is crying, her lip quivering with worst fear I’ve seen in a while.
Xavier beside us is dumbstruck. His mouth hanging open. “Who are you?”
The assassin walks toward me. His steps are exact. Direct.
Donovan puts his hand on my arm. I know he wants to run, but there’s nowhere we can run to. “Leave her alone. Back off.”
“Or what will you do, Mr. James?” He puts his hands up in the air and wiggles his fingers. “I’m trembling.” His eyes narrow and he grins. Clearly not trembling.
He’s gotten much too close. I grip Donovan’s shirt to pull him backward. I don’t want this assassin guy anywhere near us.
“Come any closer and I’ll scream. I’ll get the feds. The police.” I warn him off, but it’s hollow, I have no real threat.
“Then I’ll just come back and do it again until we get this right. Until Mr. Montgomery there gives up the location of the journals. The diaries. We want them back.”
Xavier shakes his head. “My diaries? Are we talking about my diaries? What’s going on here? I don’t like being in the dark.”
“You’ve been sent to fetch his journals.” Everything clicks in my brain. “What’s in them that are so important?”
Smugly, he shrugs. “Doesn’t matter. Xavier wants them back. I get them back. I keep coming until your step-daddy is dead or he gives them up. Looks like it’ll be the former.”
Xavier rubs his head. “I didn’t hire any…Are you saying it works? Time travel, everything? This guy is from the future and I…” Xavier’s eyes widen until I can see the whites, “I sent him back here?”
“You are always brilliant, Doctor. Never to be under estimated.”
“And you took my place. You’re what I was supposed to be. An assassin.” I tilt my head as I regard him.
“Seems like your Uncle Rex proved you are. He’s dead, isn’t he? You’ll be joining him if I don’t get what I want.”
“Wait a second!” Xavier raises his hands. “This isn’t my way. This isn’t how things are supposed to be. I’m against murder. I’m against others getting hurt. That’s not what I want to do!”
“Agendas change.” The time traveler smirks. “Since he doesn’t have the diaries, I assume you do Ms. Montgomery. You have one hour to get them to me. If you don’t, your loved ones will start dropping like flies.”
“Wrong.” I huff and fire off a shot.
*****
The assassin raises his hand and stops the bullet in mid-air. It drops to the ground rolls away and with a flash of blue smoke, the time traveler is on me. He grabs my wrists and I bash my knee into his groin.
He grunts and strains but in the end, he forces me against the wall. Not everyone behind him is frozen, but they’re moving so slowly that they might as well be. The assassin shoves my arm back so I’ll drop the gun and the time ripples all around us. The bricks move and sway as if they are part of a suspension building in an earthquake.
The headache is back full force, no longer happy to live somewhere in the rear of my brain. Instead, it’s taken over and is drowning everything out. Colors come alive everywhere and I grunt as everything around us sways.
The time traveler throws his elbow into my face. Busts my nose and blood flows from it, but instead of dripping, individual beads float through the air. I don’t know if he’s using time travel as a weapon or if my brain is doing something it shouldn’t be able to do.
But the pain in my head is growing worse.
As the time traveler raises his arm to level me, I duck down and slide beneath it. Behind him now, I assault him with a punch to his back and a kick right behind his knee. He crashes to the ground.
Hand over fist, I raise my arms to bash him in the head. My vision splits and with a flash of light, everything changes. Wind surrounds me like a tornado and I squeeze my eyes shut.
When I open them, it’s daylight and I’m standing on the corner of Commonwealth and Mass Ave. All around me people walk and glance at me as if I’m a stranger.
Lowering my arms, I look around and see a giant billboard beside me. There’s a green light above it and when it spots me, it turns on and scans me. It turns bright red and an alarm sounds.
I’m in trouble.
So, I take off running down the street. Everywhere I see the Boston I know but it’s different. The buildings are taller, more sterile and the shops are strange. Places I know are no longer there, but I see a subway stop with a giant T sign.
At least that’s the same.
At least that hasn’t changed.
I make a break for it but then men in uniform emerge on all sides of me. They’re holding batons instead of guns and they
order me to stop. “Hold it right there, Suspect!”
Suspect? I haven’t done anything wrong.
They close in and I back up, but the circle tightens around me. As they get closer, I can read Global Law: Rewind written in scroll on the lapels of their black coats. My heart is in my throat. Everything I’ve feared would happen has happened. I’ve left my present for the future.
The future I never wanted to happen.
“Hands behind your back!” One screams. I have no choice, so I comply. No option but to let them twist my hands behind my back. They force me to the ground, even though I’ve done as they’ve asked and I feel a jolt of electrical power against the small of my back.
When I cringe and scream, they force me up. They take me to a Global Law squad car while people stand and stare. Watching with their mouths gaping open. It seems some things haven’t changed at all.
11:Through the Years: Donovan
Once, Lara hinted that she thought I should take over Rewind.
Now, on the five-year anniversary of her disappearance, there’s no chance of that ever happening. Daniels seized the reins and he rules it with an iron fist.
Everything changed with her gone. Nothing will ever be the same. The grass doesn’t grow so vibrantly and a warm breeze on a hot day chills me more than cools me.
High school, college. All of it is done and I’m stuck in time. Neither in the past or the present. My mind is only on the future as Rewind grows and regulation after regulation, that once governed it are stripped away.
The television in my apartment plays the nightly news. The mug of coffee in my hand is long cold as the anchor tells the chilling tale. “Marcus O’Reily, last opponent to the Rewind initiative, committed suicide in his home. His body was discovered this morning along with a note in which, he blamed himself for failing the time traveler, Lara Montgomery. While her whereabouts are still unknown, Xavier Daniels promises, that no matter what it takes, he will do everything in his power to return her.”
I turn the television off with a growing sense of dread. Stillness. Adrift. I have no purpose without Lara. I can’t trust Xavier. He wanted Marcus dead and now he is. He was my last hope of taking Rewind down. The one thing I know Lara would want.
If anyone could have stopped all this, it would have been her.
Now she’s gone. Forever.
I know I’ll never see her again and that loss, I struggle with every day. No matter what I’m doing, it’s always with me
But still, I go to work. I take the phone calls when the Rewind retractors are looking for a spokesperson. I’m their first choice. And I’m the loudest and the most outspoken of them all. I’ll never remain quiet, because of everything Rewind has taken from me.
For all they took from Lara and those that loved her.
I walk to the Montgomery’s, in no rush. A stroll, rather than a brisk walk. I’m not worried about being late for dinner. Looking forward to it? Not really. It’s painful to see them and I know it’s painful for them to see me.
But it’s hard to let that relationship go.
Miranda greets me at the door with red eyes, but she puts on a brave face. She must have been crying again, but I pretend not to notice, handing her a bottle of wine. “Thanks for having me over for dinner.”
“You know you’re welcome here anytime.” She closes the door and I head into the living room.
Jax stands when he sees me and we shake hands. “Did you catch that game? Can’t believe the Sox pulled that one out.”
“I stayed up late just to watch. I paid for it this morning.” I reach for a handful of peanuts on the coffee table and we sit. We talk. Small chatter about nothing important. Neither of us talks about what we really want to.
His face is still scarred from where the assassin beat him. It’s faint. Barely noticeable, but he strokes it as if it still hurts.
“Don!”
I turn at the sound of her voice; my heart is in my throat. But it’s only Molly. Thirteen and with her long brown curls, she’s the near mirror image of Lara. I stand to greet her as she runs down the stairs. She’s dressed like any teenager, T-shirt, and jeans, but she moves gracefully and throws herself into my arms.
Hugging her makes part of me feel better. To take care of her and Mike, is the only purpose I really have. “Hope you’ve been studying.” I scold her gently.
Molly rolls her eyes. “Of course I have, you big dope.” She punches me on the arm and heads into the kitchen.
I stare after her. It’s the same every time I see her. I can’t separate where Lara ended and where Molly now begins. But she’s Lara’s half-sister. I’m here to look out for her. No matter the pain it causes.
“Hey,” Mike says from the foot of the stairs. His tablet in his hands.
“Hey, man.” We bump fists as Miranda calls, dinner.
We head over to sit at the full table, —food in abundance--- and all the seats, except for one are full. It’ll always be empty and every day I hope for signs that she’s around somewhere—just waiting to enter the room--- make a grand entrance. Save the day.
Because saving the day, is what Lara did best. Except now, there is no saving the day.
****
I stand in line, waiting for my coffee at Dunkin Donuts and read the screens that line the front.
Syria Rebels Surrender
Russia concedes defeat
Greece begs for Financial Assistance
On the screen, Xavier Daniels waves to the crowd. “Thank you, everyone, young and old for your support. And I am pleased to announce that with the U.S., Canadian, and European divisions, joining forces under Global Law, time travel will now be allowed to make our lives a better place. Terrorism has been destroyed, we are truly one nation under God, and all our lives will be richer for it.”
The crowd goes wild, but I just hang my head.
It’s everything we tried to stop. Lara’s been gone for ten years. My life ticks by like the hands on a clock, but I can never really let her go, can I?
At the front of the counter, the lady in the Dunkin orange cap gawks. “You want to get something, Mister?”
“Coffee.” I clear my throat. “Sorry. Medium hot. Regular.” I scan my thumb across the pad and take my coffee when it’s offered to me.
She gives me a tepid smile. “Here, I thought I was having a bad day.”
I can’t answer her. Part of me wishes I could at least pretend. When I head outside, my phone rings. I answer because I think it might be Lara’s mom. After ten years wondering about every call, every knock has gotten to me. Maybe I should’ve given up hope by now, but giving up on that is the hardest thing to let go.
“Don? I was worried about you when you didn’t show.”
It was my girlfriend for lack of a better word. I’m twenty-eight years old. My dad is constantly fixing me up on dates and this one was pleasant. This one was at least nice. It was wrong to string her along when my heart was so wrapped up with someone else, but…
There was no but. That was the simple truth. I was being a jerk.
And I’m pretty sure she knew it.
“Sorry, Claire. Were we supposed to meet?”
“For lunch.” Her voice was pained. “With my parents. I thought…things were good, Don.”
“I’m sorry.” I stop and lean up against the outside of a CVS. “This just isn’t…It’s not going to work, Clair. You’re nice. I like it, but…”
“It’s not me, it’s you sort of thing?” Her voice had a laugh in it and I’m pretty sure she might be crying.
I’m a heel. A complete dirt bag.
“I’m sorry. I wish I could explain…” But I really don’t want to. I don’t want to talk about it. Don’t want to voice it—to share my pain. It wasn’t for her consumption. It wasn’t for anyone but me. Lara. And until the day, I see her again…
But I go on. I move through the motions.
I go to work, then to the bar every night. To the strip club. Then home.
&nb
sp; Lara would be ashamed. I’m drowning and I’m not even calling out for help. I’m letting it happen. Sinking in despair and self-loathing.
It’s even worse on the days I see Molly, when we bump into each other. She’s seventeen now and filling out in all the right areas. All the places I dare not look, or even begin to imagine.
“Donovan, hey.” She swings her backpack over her shoulder and throws her long brown hair back. It’s just like Lara’s. Exactly in every way.
Except, Molly is carefree. She doesn’t have the curse or struggle that Lara had. Her eyes are darkened with the loss of her sister, but she’s trusting. Naïve. A spoiled, rich kid, who has been given everything her heart desires, because of the loss of Lara., Miranda and Jax are good people, but they can’t help but over compensate.
Molly’s a walking ghost of Lara. You can’t look at her face and wonder what if.
“Hey.” I run a hand through my hair as I breach the gap between us in the lobby of the office tower I work in. “What are you doing here?”
She stands a bit straighter and I can’t help but notice how tight her t-shirt is. How it hugs the curves of her…lady parts. Molly bites her lip and stands a bit closer to me. “I thought maybe we could catch lunch or something. You know?”
Molly grins. Devious. Mischievous.
She’s a dangerous flirt and she’s pushing me somewhere I can’t go. I need to be a gentleman, so I shake my head. “I can’t today. Sorry.” I use the revolving door to exit the building.
Molly is relentless as was her sister. She follows me and grabs my hand. When she touches me, it sends a jolt of electricity through me. My heart and body can’t separate her from Lara. I jerk and shove her off.
“Well, that was rude.” Molly’s face snarls and the beautiful girl I know disappears in her contempt.
“Just go home,” I whisper and take out my cell phone.
“What are you doing?” Molly voice rises.
“Calling Jax.”
“What?” She shrieks. “Don’t do that. I’m supposed to be in classes!” Molly chases after me and tugs on my arm to get the phone away.