by Marla Monroe
“I suppose I’m one of those kind of people who fall in love too easily. I hate telling you this because I’m afraid you’ll think I don’t really know for sure right now, but you’d be wrong. I know, Celeste.” He pressed a quick fierce kiss to her lips, then continued. “I’d be happy in love, planning our future, then she’d drift away or find someone new. It would devastate me for a while. I’d drift from place to place, crashing with buddies, helping them when they needed help. Then out of the blue, I’d meet someone new and it would start all over again.”
She didn’t know what to say, so Celeste remained quiet.
“I’m not saying that I fell for every woman I met. I didn’t. I did plenty of one night rodeos along the way, but sometimes something would click and I’d be all about making a future with that woman who’d snagged my heart. This isn’t the same, Celeste, and I’m not sure how to prove it to you other than to tell you that it’s not.”
“You’re right, it’s hard for me to believe your feelings for me are any more real than they had been for those other women, Tyler.”
“But what if they were real for those other women and the fact that they walked away only meant that it wasn’t meant to be? It doesn’t mean I don’t have the real thing for you, babe. I love you. My heart beats harder when you’re close by. It beats faster when you’re looking at me or talking to me. I get butterflies. Me. Huge ass, girly butterflies like some teenager. You do it for me.”
“But this is a rebound for you, isn’t it,” she said.
“Sort of. But not in the same way.”
She started to interrupt him, but he kissed her to stop her from speaking.
“Wait. Hear me out on this. It was different for several reasons. One, I didn’t date this other woman. She was my best friend’s woman and now his wife. I just really cared about her. I admired her a lot like I admire you, but that’s all it was. I fancied myself in love with her knowing I could never have her. I wouldn’t have tried even if she’d shown any interest toward me. She belonged to Morgan.”
“Are you saying you don’t care about her anymore?” Celeste was certain he wouldn’t be able to answer that.
“No. I do care about her, but not in the same way. I care about her because she’s Morgan’s wife and a very special woman. I don’t love her. I never loved her. That’s why this was different. I know that I didn’t love her. I wanted to be in love with her because it had been a long time since I’d found anyone to care about. Then I met you and all of that changed.”
The way he looked deep into her eyes without blinking settled something that had been restless inside of her since he’d first started talking.
“I’m afraid to believe you, Tyler.”
“I could have kept all of this to myself and never told you. No one else knew how I felt about Amanda so you’d have never found out, but that wouldn’t have been honest of me, and I want nothing but honesty between us.”
“I can’t promise you anything, Tyler. Not right now.”
“I understand, but will you promise to always be open about what you’re thinking? Tell me if I do or say something that bothers you. Don’t keep it hidden so that I don’t have a chance to make it right.”
Celeste drew in a slow quiet breath before exhaling just as softly. “I can promise to try to see this through. I won’t hold anything back from you, but that’s all I can promise right now.”
“I’ll take what I can get with you, babe. Are we good?” he asked as he mouth pulled into a warm smile.
She narrowed her eyes at him. “Not quite. Did you know Brian and Rudy were coming by?”
“No. I swear to you I didn’t. If I had, we would have been at the center table instead of the back wall where my back wouldn’t have been to the door. That was stupid on my part.” He ran a hand through his hair. “What can I say, you made me lose my good sense. It won’t happen again.”
“Well, different positions and circumstances might not be off the list, but don’t ever set me up or we’re through. Got it?”
“Loud and clear. I wouldn’t do that to you regardless. I have too much respect for you and fondness for my private parts.” He grinned, his mouth spread wide with the silly smile.
How could she stay angry with him? He made her laugh at the world and at herself. He was a gift that she didn’t want to give back. Sometimes accepting a gift can be more difficult than it should be, but she was going to give it her best shot. A little voice deep inside of her said that Tyler was special and worth every heartache he might put her through before they settled things between them.
I don’t want to lose him, but how can I keep him if I’m not willing to commit?
Taking that last step was going to be nearly impossible. She’d trusted a man with her heart once and found out that all he’d been there for was the bar. Then he’d beaten her so that she lost her precious gift. That would never happen again.
Of course it won’t. I can’t get pregnant now. I don’t have anywhere to nurture them. Children are another thing we’ve got to talk about that might put an end to any thoughts of a permanent relationship. I don’t want to have that conversation any more than I want to watch Tyler ride away.
One would be necessary to see in order to find out if the result would be the other happening. The pain of starting the conversation outweighed her need to know right then. She’d had to deal with too much today already. That would wait until another time.
Who knows? Something might happen to put an end to the need to talk about it at all.
Uncertainty clogged her throat with unshed tears. It hurt to swallow around them.
“Celeste?”
“I think I’m going to run into town for some things. I’ll be back in a couple of hours. Do you need anything?” She purposely didn’t ask him along for the ride.
“No, I’m good. If you need me, call. I realize you need some space right now, but if something happens in town, don’t act like you’re alone in this now. I’m here regardless of where we stand.”
Looking down into his determined eyes, Celeste eased off his lap and stood up. “I know, Tyler. I’ll call if I need help.”
He’d always be there for her—until he wasn’t anymore.
Chapter Fifteen
“Hey, Morgan. Got a minute?” Tyler wasn’t sure if his friend would be able to help or not, but he didn’t see the harm and trying.
“Asshat! Where the hell are you? You called talking about some woman then you disappear again and we don’t hear from you for months.” Morgan exaggerated as usual.
“It’s only been a few weeks.” He thought about it. “Okay, maybe a month.”
“So where are you?”
“I’m outside a small town called Cleary in Oklahoma. Can’t say much for the town folk, but the bar owner is pretty nice.” He couldn’t help the grin that split his face in two.
“What in the hell are you doing there? Have you been by to see Dodge?”
Instantly Tyler’s wide-assed smile deflated. “No. Haven’t made it there yet. I’ll go by before I head back your way. I’m working bounce at the bar here. Look, do you know of anyone looking to buy a bar?”
“A bar? Not sure, man. Good place? Steady clientele?”
“Yeah. It’s easy in the black but I won’t say it doesn’t come with its problems. Rivalry here from a bar in the city limits that has to pay city taxes whereas this one doesn’t.”
“Ah, that would cause some tension. What’s the cost?” Morgan actually sounded interested, like he might know someone.
“Don’t know the asking price yet, but if you’re talking cost for doing business? It’s usually a bar brawl every few weeks that costs one to two tables and four to six chairs. The present owner takes damages out of the pockets of those involved in the brawl. I figure she covers the costs most times it happens. At the very most she might be out one large.”
“Heavy drinkers?”
“Moderate to heavy. You’ve got the locals who regularly stop by fo
r three four beers then you’ve got the hardcore drinkers who make up for lost time on the weekends. Place has room for a band, which would pull in a little more draw, but she doesn’t fool with it. She’s working short as it is.”
“I’ll ask around and see if anyone bites. Find out the particulars for me in the meantime.” Morgan said something to someone out of earshot. “So, when do we get to meet this woman of yours?”
“Who said I had a woman?” Tyler felt the smile resume once more.
“Amanda did. She said you’ve been gone too long for it just to be one of your moods. Who is she and how serious is it?”
“Tell Amanda to mind her own business.” He chuckled. “She’s the bar owner and it’s as serious as I can make it. That’s why I’m looking for a buyer.”
Morgan was quiet for a few seconds. “Does she know you’re trying to sell her bar, Tyler?”
“Of course she does. Damn, Morgan. I’m not stupid.” He sighed. “Don’t say anything. She’s ready to move on and wants the place sold.”
“Let me guess. The one person sure to offer to buy it is the one person she doesn’t want to get his hands on it. Which is why she hasn’t sold up until now.” Morgan always had been sharp.
“You got it.”
“Damn. You always end up in the biggest pile of crap you can find. Let me do some asking around and I’ll let you know if anyone is interested in anything in that direction. Call me before the next full moon, man. We were starting to get worried.”
“Hey, the phone works both ways you know.” Tyler hit end and shoved the phone in his back pocket. He wished he’d called Morgan a week ago when it had first come up between him and Celeste.
I wanted to be sure she didn’t change her mind after the fiasco in the bar. If I’d found a buyer and she balked, it would have killed me and shut down the buyer even if she did change her mind. I made the right decision to wait.
Now as he went through his opening routine, Tyler felt the first seeds of hope renew in his chest. She’d assured him early that morning after a nice long leisurely romp that she was ready to sell and wanted somewhere to call home.
“A bar isn’t some place you want to call home at the end of the day, Tyler.”
“True, babe. You could still keep the place and build a real home somewhere nearby. That way you’d still have your bar and a place you’d want to call home.” He’d played the devil’s advocate despite how much it pained him to do it.
If she’d taken to the idea of sticking with the bar but getting a separate home he would have honored that, but he wouldn’t have been completely happy. Tyler missed his friends and wanted to find a place somewhere within riding distance. He had no idea what he’d do for a living, but he’d find something. He wasn’t really picky when it came to work as long as it got him what he wanted at the time. Right now, what he wanted more than anything was to settle down with Celeste and be close to his friends.
“Got everything ready, lover boy?” Velma dogged him every chance she got.
He grinned. “Yep. Doors are unlocked. Double checked the lock on the back door and Celeste’s bat and shotgun are in their usual places. You girls ready?”
“Yeah. I’m glad Celeste is keeping Jennie full for the rest of the weekend. Means fewer tables each and fewer tips, but it also means no one gets their panties in a twist to start anything.” Velma adjusted her apron. “If she’d add a couple more tables over where the band would set up it wouldn’t be that big of a deal.”
“I’ll talk to her about it. We barely clear fire code some nights, so adding a few more places to sit might put us over in a crunch. You know old Lyle would love to shut us down on a fire code violation.”
“You keep a pretty good count of how many are in the place. Unless they shut us all inside and do a head count, they can’t possibly call it off the cuff like that, can they?” Velma wasn’t giving up on the extra tables.
“I’ve seen them shut a place down just because they thought there might be too many inside. Never counted, just shut them down and leveed a fine. It’s not worth taking a chance if she doesn’t have to, Velma. Come on. It’s just about quitting time somewhere out there.” Tyler steered the waitress out of the back into the main room. Celeste was behind the bar shifting bottles around in the cooler.
“Hey, babe. Need anything before I get the door?”
She looked up and smiled at him. “Na, I was just noticing that I need to add some more long necks. I’ll get them.”
He ambled over to the door and stepped outside. So far the last few nights had been fairly calm. After they’d opened back up the weekend before, they’d remained crowded and pulled in a good deal each night. He was sure trouble was still brewing somewhere out in Lyle’s direction. Tyler just didn’t know where or when it would hit. He didn’t want anyone to end up getting hurt and that put a huge responsibility on his shoulders. They needed another bouncer to work a crowd like the ones she drew from time to time.
Trucks and bikes started pulling in almost the minute he took his position at the door. The next two hours kept him busy carding delinquents and reminding the drivers to turn their lights off before they forgot. Once the majority of the crowd had filled the big open room, Tyler moved his post inside and closed the door so he could monitor when it opened and closed.
“Tyler! Got a rowdy patron table nine.” Velma’s voice nearly deafened him over the earpiece.
“Got him.” He’d been glad Celeste had agreed to the earpieces to help them keep up with each other, but Velma didn’t have a volume control for her mouth as far as he could tell.
Didn’t matter how often he reminded her, she still yelled everything into the mic as if she was still calling out over the noise of the crowd. He swore he’d be deaf within a month if she didn’t tone it down some. He needed to ask Celeste to lay it on her. He didn’t have the heart to do it.
“Hey, man. Let’s take a step back and relax. You guys giving him a hard time?” Tyler asked the other three guys at the table who were all shaking their heads no before he even got the words out.
“Don’t pasteurize me you little pisser. That waitress refuses to take my order. I demand some service.” He beat his hand on the table, then winced and shook it.
“I understand you’re frustrated. Let’s talk about this and see if we can work it out. I can’t hear in here, let’s step outside.” Tyler indicated that he could go in front of him.
The man stood up albeit unsteadily and started to lean toward the door when one of the guys still sitting at the table stopped him.
“Hey, Doug. He’s just trying to get you outside. He isn’t gonna’ help you get another drink.”
“What? You fucking with me, too?” Doug’s attitude jumped up a couple of notches.
“Well, it looks like you’ll have plenty of company outside where you’re going in two seconds. Let’s go, guys.” Tyler lifted his hands to let them know they all needed to stand up.
“Like hell we will. We’re staying put. You can’t make us leave. We aren’t doing anything wrong.” This came from the motor mouth who’d alerted Doug that he was being ousted from the bar.
“Look. I’m asking nicely. If I have to call in the owner, things could get ugly. The owner carries a bat and a shotgun.” He made sure his teeth showed when he smiled at each of the assholes who thought they could write their own ticket.
“I’ve heard she likes to act all tough. She wouldn’t know how to handle a real man without that bat. I’d teach her who’s boss.” Ass wipe seemed awful cocky when he wasn’t staring at said bat.
“I hear him, Tyler. On my way. Don’t get in my dead zone if I need to swing.” Celeste’s sexy voice heated up his blood over the earpiece.
“Gotcha’.”
“Huh? Got what?” Doug asked with a sneer. “The clap?”
All four of them laughed like hyenas, cackling worse than a cauldron of witches. At a noise in the crowd, Tyler looked over to see Celeste with her bat shoving through the crow
d in his direction. People tended to move out of her way when they saw the bat. Tyler stepped to one side, careful to make sure he was out of her swing range.
“Oh, look, Tyler. A real man who wants to play with my bat. Wait, I thought he had a bat of his own to play with.” Celeste kept one hand on the base of the well-worn club and planted the other one on her hip. “I believe he asked you all to step outside. What seems to be the problem? Are your feet stuck to the floor? I know we mopped the floor so there shouldn’t be anything sticky on it.”
“We aren’t doing anything wrong so we don’t have to leave. He’s just acting like a tough guy.” This came from a different one out of the group.
“Look, guys. Your friend Doug here started shit with my waitress. She cut him off and instead of you guys letting him take his punishment, you interfered, so you’re out of here, too. I think that about sums it up. Any questions?” She smiled at Tyler and waited.
“I think she means for you guys to go now.” He knew they wouldn’t. This happened most nights at least once, but normally it didn’t escalate past the one table.
“Hell no, we won’t go.” Doug lifted a fist and yelled out the words. His buddies joined in and everything went downhill from there.
“I warned you!” Tyler jumped back right about the time Celeste swung the bat and cracked the back of the legs of one of the guys so that he fell on his ass.
She never swung to break bones unless they started the fight. Now, as she floored one more of the bunch, a bystander got in the way just as Doug’s defender threw a punch aimed at Celeste. It connected with the man whose only mistake was stepping left when he should have stepped right. After that, Celeste threw up her hands and yelled retreat into her mic. Once again she ended up climbing on top of the bar with her shotgun and racking it so that the entire bar fell silent.