by A. J. Markam
I’m a level 673, though. Ha ha ha ha…
“If you need higher security, we can provide such safes – but the price goes up substantially. And,” he said, casting some side-eye at my satchel, “there’s really nothing in your current inventory that would warrant anything above a Level 500 safe at the moment.”
“What about the room?” I asked. “Who has access?”
“You and you alone. Once you’ve rented the room, no one enters it except you.” The elf held up the key to the room, which was attached to a heavy ring of similar skeleton keys. “There are only two copies of this key. One stays with me at all times, and the other is in a safe watched over by two of our most powerful guards, along with a host of magical spells to protect it. There is absolutely no way anyone but you will get into this room.”
“Wonderful.”
“All right… I’ll leave you to your business,” the elf said. He walked out of the room, and I shut the door behind him.
63
Monday Morning
Morningstar Inn
“Okay,” I said as I ticked through the other elements of the plan, “after I’ve got the room, I need Jen to be able to get in and teleport out.”
“But I can’t teleport anywhere I haven’t seen before,” she said. “I could always go with you to open the account so I could see the room – ”
“No,” the FBI agent snapped. “Absolutely not.”
“I’ve got to say I agree with Arkova on this one,” I said. “The only way I’m getting in is because they’ll be able to check my history as a criminal. They won’t ever let you in, and if you go with me, there’s a good chance they won’t let me in, either.”
“But how do I get inside?”
“I have a plan. I wouldn’t have you teleport in, anyway – we can’t afford the spell’s 30-minute cool-down. We’re going to have maybe five minutes at most to pull this thing off, so I’ll need you to teleport out.”
“She still can’t do it,” Arkova said. “The Shadow Bank has massive amounts of magical protection on the building, including anti-teleportation spells. They don’t want people being able to pop in and out at will, so the building’s magical defenses are going to be as tight as their physical safety measures.”
“But once I knock out their defenses, she’ll be able to teleport out, right?”
“Yes – but how are you going to do that?”
“Later. First I have to get in, too – and I won’t be able to do it through magical means.”
“Can’t you just walk in once you have the account?” Slothfart asked. “Just say, ‘Hey, I’m here to make a deposit.’”
“I could – the only problem is, I’m a new client, and they’ll be watching me like a hawk. If something goes down five minutes after I walk in, I’m pretty damn sure they’ll come after me. It’ll be too suspicious. So I have to be able to get in there without them knowing I’m there.”
“So how are you going to do that?”
“I know a guy. In fact, you all do – everybody but Arkova.”
All my friends looked confused.
I just grinned and proceeded to explain.
64
Tuesday Morning
Faloride Mine
Early Tuesday morning I made my way to the Faloride Mine, the place where we had started our first quest in Sillomar. The only difference was, this time I was on horseback – and alone.
About a quarter mile out I switched to foot, went into Stealth, and ran the rest of the way. I only did it to make things easier on myself. I had no idea whether the dwarves would try to keep me out of the mines if I wasn’t on a quest – and I’d done all their quests already, so how would they receive me? As an old friend, or an interloper? Plus, there were going to be plenty of hostile creatures down in the caverns. I would have to go into Stealth at some point. Might as well do it now and skip any potential bureaucratic red tape along the way.
Everything was familiar enough that I was able to find my way back to the caverns of pink crystals. I crossed my fingers and prayed that I hadn’t come at the wrong time. Hopefully my quarry wasn’t off unloading his pack mules in Sillomar.
I was in luck. As I reached the cathedral of rose quartz, I heard a high-pitched New York accent squeaking out a recent pop song to the rhythmic clink clank of a pick against rock.
“Hello?” I called out, immediately coming out of Stealth.
The rat-faced Tunneller nearly jumped out of his skin. “Jesus Mary and Joseph, what the – oh,” he said as soon as he saw me. “The dead guy.”
“You remember me?”
“Not that many bald Goths step on my tail, believe it or not.”
“Oh yeah,” I said, suppressing a laugh. That was the first time I’d thought of myself as a ‘bald Goth.’
“Where’s your buddies? You stab ‘em in the back and take all their cash?”
“No, they’re back in Sillomar.”
“So what are you doing here?”
“I want to hire you for a job.”
“Yeah, whatever,” he said, and turned back to the large crystal he’d been mining. “Get lost, I got work to do.”
“You said you cleared about four grand a week doing this, right?” I asked.
“Don’t even think about trying to horn in on my operation,” he snarled as he began swinging his pickaxe.
“I’m not. I’m in a completely different line of business.”
“Good for you. Go back to it.”
“What if I paid you 10,000 gold for one day’s worth of work?”
The clanking stopped, and the Rat turned around. “Okay, you got my attention.”
“There’s a couple of catches, though.”
“Oh, great. What, you can’t pay me until a month from now? No thanks. Screw off.”
“I’ll half pay in advance, and the rest of the money the second you finish.”
“Okay… that doesn’t sound like a catch.”
“The catch is, no questions asked.”
“Oh,” he grinned. “One of those kinds of deals.”
“You got a problem with that?”
“Dude, I grew up in the Bronx. Your so-called catch is basically standard business practices back where I come from.”
“Also, I think you’re going to have to go through solid rock. Or at least that’s a possibility. Can you do that?”
“That’s a little bit trickier. Normally I can only dig through soil and sedimentary rock… but don’t worry, I know a guy. An Earth Mage. He can help me out – but it’s gonna cost you extra.”
“How much extra?”
“Extra 20 grand.”
I sighed. “All right – but it’s the same deal. No questions from him, either.”
“All right. When do we need to do this?”
“As soon as possible.”
“Okay, let’s go.”
“Two more things.”
“Jesus, what is it now?”
“Do you have anything that can help me home in on where we need to dig?”
He looked at me in disbelief. “You don’t know where to dig?”
“I know the general location, but I only know it from the surface – and we’re going to be starting underground. I don’t know how to pinpoint the exact location.”
“Oh-ho – so we’re digging from underground up into someplace?”
“Yes.”
“Can you get to the spot you wanna end up in and leave something there?”
“Yes.”
“No problem. You just need a standard-issue homing beacon. I can get one of those, easy.”
“Yes, except I’m pretty sure no signals can get in or out of where we’re digging.”
“What are we digging into, Fort Knox?”
“No questions, remember?”
“Okay, okay. Let’s see… I can get you a gizmo that’ll burrow down through the ground. It’ll basically cut through anything. Once it’s far enough below the target, my Earth Mage buddy’ll be able
to tell me where it is, and I’ll know exactly where to dig.”
“Can the gizmo be set on a timer? I can’t be there when it goes off.”
“Absolutely.”
“How big is it? Can it fit into a standard ten-slot bag?”
“Mm… yeah, I can probably get one that small for you – but the smaller it is, the more it’s gonna cost ya.”
“How much?” I asked glumly.
“Another 50 grand. And I’m gonna need that upfront. The guys I buy from don’t work on credit.”
“All right, you got it. One last thing.”
“What?”
“This whole operation is going to be incredibly dangerous.”
“What, cave-ins?” the Tunneller sneered. “Please.”
“No – if the people who run the place we’re digging into find out you’re involved, they will kill you.”
“It’s a videogame, dumbass. They can kill me all they want, long as you pay me what you owe me.”
“No – they will track you down in real life and kill you.”
The Rat paused. “…for real?”
“For real. Are you sure you still want the job?”
“Maybe you didn’t hear me before, but I’m from the Bronx. Everything you’re describing? Typical Tuesday morning. Except – ”
“It’s going to cost me a little extra,” I said with a humorless smile.
“Bingo,” the Rat said. “Get that man a freshly dug hole.”
65
Tuesday Night
Sillomar
With my horse and Joe’s pack mules, we made fairly good time.
Joe was the name of the Tunneller Rat, by the way.
“No last names, Jimmy. Don’t wanna know ‘em, and you ain’t gettin’ mine.”
“Fine by me.”
It was night by the time we reached Sillomar. I had to go into Stealth to sneak back into the city, but Joe had no such problems.
“So it’s that kind of job,” he grinned as we made our way past the main gate’s guards.
I waited until I found a particularly deep patch of shadow to come out of Stealth and whisper, “You’re not getting paid any extra.”
“Okay, okay. Simmer down.”
He led me to a tiny shop far from the main street. The sign in the window said CLOSED, but the Tunneller didn’t pay any attention. He rapped on the door three times.
“Yo, Irvustis – it’s Joe. Open up.”
A series of bolts clacked open one by one, the door squeaked open a centimeter, and a single beady eye appeared in the crack.
“What do you want?” a squeaky voice asked.
“I got a guy here who needs a little somethin’ special. We’re doin’ a job together. Can you hook me up?”
“Where’s the guy?”
“He’s gonna stay in Stealth if that’s cool.”
“A Rogue?” the voice snorted. “No, it isn’t – I don’t do business with people who won’t show me their face.”
“You’re doin’ business with me, and I’m doin’ business with him. Come on, I coulda just not told you and he coulda sneaked in behind me – but I told you, so quit bustin’ my balls and let us in. I promise it’ll be worth your while.”
The shop owner grumbled, then opened the door just enough for both of us to slip in. “Is your Rogue inside yet?”
“If he isn’t, he’ll start knockin’ soon enough.”
I was already inside, and watched the shopkeeper close the door.
He was a gnome – smaller than a dwarf, not nearly as hairy, and more fat than muscular. He wore pants with suspenders and a light yellow shirt, and he chomped incessantly on an unlit cigar. His store was apparently dedicated to mechanical doodads – tons of different mechanical oddities took up every available bit of space. I saw telescopes, gyroscopes, and hundreds of small doodads that looked like steampunk toys for tots.
The gnome waddled over to his desk, which was covered in gears, wires, and metal tubing. “All right, what do you want?”
“We need a boring device capable of getting through anything up to mithril. It’s gotta have a timer up to 48 hours, and it has to fit in a standard ten-slot bag.”
“Why don’t you ask for the moon and the stars while you’re at it?”
“You got what I need or not?”
“Yeah, yeah, I do – but it’s going to cost you.”
I was beginning to think that was the unofficial motto of DarkWorld. Or Sillomar, at least. It’s gonna cost you.
“How much?”
“For you? A hundred K.”
Joe the Rat was incredulous – or at least feigned it. “THAT is highway robbery. 30K.”
The gnome chomped on his cigar. “You’re a freaking idiot. 90 grand, but only because I feel sorry for your mother for having a such a stupid kid.”
“I’ll give you 40K just because I feel bad your wife married such an ugly jackass.”
The insults and bargaining went back-and-forth until they finally settled on 63,000 gold.
“Yo, buddy – you’re gonna have to eat the overage,” Joe announced to thin air – in other words, me. “If you’re not cool with that, say somethin’ or forever hold your peace.”
The little bastard had me over a barrel. If I said anything, I would come out of Stealth – and he knew it.
But 13,000 extra gold wasn’t going to kill my budget, so I kept quiet.
“All right, I’m gonna take that as a yes.” The Tunneller turned back to the Gnome. “Sold.”
“All right, just a minute,” the gnome said, and went to the back of the shop to rummage around. When he returned, he placed a metal sphere the size of a soccer ball on his desk. The sphere was a metallic gray, with a lot of deep lines etched into it, and a small glass readout on the front with a couple of buttons beneath. “Gnomic boring device. Timer goes up to 99 hours, 99 seconds. This thing can go through solid rock, steel, iron, and any ore deposits short of mithril, just like you ordered.”
“It had better work,” the Rat said.
“What, are you questioning the quality of the merchandise I sell?”
“No, but if it don’t work, I’m not only out a lot of money, but I could be dead. So it BETTER work – ‘cause if it don’t work and I survive, I’m comin’ back here to take it outta your hide, Irv.”
“Have I ever sold you a bum piece of equipment? NO. It’ll work.”
“Good. Give my buddy a tutorial here, since he’s the one who’s gonna be using it.”
The gnome looked off into the air about ten feet from where I was actually standing. “Alright, Invisible Man, gather round.”
The gnome went through the operation of the device, showing me how to set a countdown timer with the buttons. He demonstrated with a one-minute timespan. A glowing 1:00 popped up on the glass, and the countdown started.
0:59… 0:58…
Then he showed me how to stop the timer and reset it to zero.
“And if you wanna start it up right away, here’s how.”
He pressed a hexagonal piece of the sphere’s surface. Suddenly all the grooved sections of the metal shell separated and the thing expanded. Every segmented portion of the globe suddenly sprang out on extended arms, and dozens of drill bits and whirring blades popped out.
The glass-faced timer started at ten seconds and began to count down.
The gnome hit the top button on the sphere, and everything retracted back into the compact metal ball.
“Gotta stop that before it starts, or it’ll go right through the floor of my shop.”
“How far does it dig?” the Rat asked.
“Depends on how tough the stuff it’s drilling through is. It should be able to go through a thousand feet of granite no problem. Maybe a hundred feet of steel. Once it’s about to run outta gas, it retraces its steps and goes back up to the surface.”
“We’re starting it aboveground, but we’re gonna need it to come to us underground. Can it do that?”
The gnome slid over a ti
ny remote the size of a matchbox. The chrome surface had several small buttons on it. “That button there is the kill switch… that one’s reverse… and that one activates the homing beacon so it’ll come to you, not go back to the start.”
“Thanks, Irv!” the Rat said as he took the box and put the globe under his arm. He slid a sapphire across the counter and counted out thirteen gold bars, each worth a thousand gold coins. “That should cover it.”
“That should cover it,” the gnome agreed greedily.
“As always, pleasure doing business, Irv.”
“Pleasure doing business with you – and the Invisible Man.”
We left the shop, and the gnome bolted the door shut behind us.
66
Monday Morning
Morningstar Inn
Arkova frowned. “But how are you going to get the probe into the Shadow Bank?”
“You forgot,” I said. “Remember the ten-slot bag we’re going to sew into the lining of the satchel?”
67
Wednesday Morning
Shadow Bank
“All right… I’ll leave you to your business,” the elf said. He walked out of the room, and I shut the door behind him.
I dumped out the contents of the bag on the table. Then I used the key in the safe to open the safe door. I hastily scooped up all the gems into the removable trays, then turned my attention to the lining of the leather satchel.
I slit the satchel’s interior wall with one of my daggers, then reached inside the cut and pulled out the flattened ten-slot bag inside.
A window appeared in front of me, and I immediately selected the largest item: the gnomic boring sphere. I pulled it out of the bag and set it on the ground behind the safe – safely out of view if anybody should open the door to the room.