by Sharon Owens
‘As a friend, I do. We went out together for five years.’
‘Then, do this one thing for me.’
‘Please, Johnny, I can’t do it. I just can’t. Please, can we put our son first? Surely you don’t want to upset him on the eve of the service?’
‘So that’s it? He’ll never know?’
‘It would ruin everything. He could have a breakdown.’
Silence again.
They listened to some birds singing in the empty bandstand, and the breeze stirring in the sycamore trees. Johnny took a deep breath.
‘Can I come to the wedding?’ he asked, suddenly. ‘Just as an ordinary guest? You could ask Eileen and James, too? It wouldn’t seem strange to Eddy, seeing what you and Eileen went through together.’
‘Oh, Johnny! Eddy would never allow it. It’s close family members only. We’ve already had to make space for Kevin McGovern’s family, for heaven’s sake. There isn’t going to be room for another table.’
‘I’m his father, Marion! Look, could I provide the music, or something?’
‘We’re not playing records. I’ve booked a classical quartet.’
‘Well, there must be some way I can help?’
‘Johnny, there isn’t.’
‘I want to give him a present, you see.’
‘Oh, God! Why, Johnny? Why play the big family man, now? This is ancient history. You can’t be involved in his life, at all. Can’t you see how profound all this is? We don’t know what might happen. You can’t go around dropping bombshells like this on people. We need advice from the experts, at the very least.’
‘Look, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking recently. I want to retire, as you know. And Eileen doesn’t want to see the ballroom flattened by developers. It means a lot to her. So! I want to give the ballroom to Declan. I’m leaving for America soon, you see. And I could show him how to run it before I go.’
‘You what? Give him the ballroom? I’m speechless. God, but you were always impossible!’ And why have you taken so long to go to America, anyway, she thought. I’m beginning to think Eddy is right; he’s invented the whole damn thing just to get some attention.
‘I want him to have the ballroom.’
‘I want him to be a doctor. And that’s what he wants, too, despite his doubts. Otherwise, I wouldn’t push him.’
‘Sure, why go through with all that study, when there’s a good business, ready and waiting, for him? Years, at Queen’s, he’d have to endure. He needs money now, with a child of his own on the way. The kid will be in school by the time Declan gets his degree.’
‘That doesn’t matter. We have the money to help him support Shirley and the baby. We’re going to pay their mortage until he’s working. It’s all in hand. They’re flat-hunting at the moment but they’ll soon get fed up with that idea. Anyway, you said the ballroom was becoming a headache. You’re going to retire early, for heaven’s sake.’
‘It’s too much for me, yes. But a young fella like Declan would have no trouble. He’d know the scene. What the young people want.’
‘This is your big plan? Declan takes on the gangsters and the council bores and the staff problems, while you sun yourself in Florida? This is just madness. Have you forgotten that Eileen and I were kidnapped recently?’
‘You said he liked music.’
‘Listen, Johnny. He does like music. He loves it. The house is full of records. But that won’t last for ever. He’s grown up, now, getting married. With a child on the way. He should have a proper career.’
‘Something respectable, you mean?’ he said, bitterly. ‘A doctor is better than a glorified DJ.’
‘Frankly, yes. Yes, it is. He’ll be important in the community. He’ll have a sense of belonging, people around him all the time.’ Not like you, she thought suddenly. No wonder Johnny had lost touch with the real world, spending his life in the shadows of the ballroom; having short and superficial conversations with total strangers. It was a sad kind of life to have lived. She pitied him, in a way.
‘You’ve changed, Marion. You’ve become middle class.’
‘I want the best for my son. I want him to mix with nice people.’
‘Nice people? What about his own people? James and Eileen? He’ll never know I’m his father. I can’t go to the wedding. I can’t even give him a present. That’s what you’re trying to tell me?’
‘That’s right. That’s the way it has to be. Now, are you going to accept that? I need to know, because I haven’t told Eddy about all this. I need to know if you’re going to cause any trouble on the day.’ She didn’t want to have to go through a second wedding ceremony waiting for Johnny to turn up in the church porch, and shout out, ‘Wait!’ And this time, he seemed lonely enough and desperate enough to actually do it. The shock could make Shirley faint. Marion began to panic.
‘Trouble?’ said Johnny. ‘Am I going to rock the boat? No, I won’t do that, Marion. You can have your big, fancy wedding. With all your posh friends, and the violins playing in the background. I won’t turn up like a ghost at the feast and tell my son he was conceived on the back seat of a Lincoln Continental, on Portstewart Strand!’
‘Oh, yes! I wondered how long it would take you to bring that up! Slander the woman’s reputation when all else fails. You… you… I wouldn’t have had to sleep with you in the back of your car if you had married me and given me a proper home. This is so typical of you, Johnny, to string me along for years, and then make out it was my fault for being an easy kind of girl!’
‘Yes, a Lincoln Continental for a bed, and a picnic rug for a blanket. I’ll tell him that. And that his parents ate a fish supper before the deed, from Mickey Mac’s chip van. And two 99s with raspberry topping, afterwards. We took off our shoes and walked along the water’s edge and you said you would always love me and no one else.’
‘You’re being ridiculous. You shouldn’t talk about personal things like that to your children. What have chips and ice cream got to do with anything?’ She was furious with him now.
‘You weren’t so la-di-da in the good old days, Marion Evans. I was good enough for you, then.’
‘My name is Marion Greenwood,’ she said. ‘I should never have told you about Declan. You’re crazy, Johnny. You haven’t changed at all. Always, you put yourself first. You just want to show off. You were never any different.’
‘It’s not for me. I want to help him to make something of himself.’
‘You want to muscle in on my son’s wedding. Because you were too selfish to get married yourself, and now you’re lonely. That’s the truth, isn’t it?
‘Look! Eddy is the one who collected Declan from school, and taught him how to ride a bike, and all the rest of it. And it’s just too late for you to be involved in his life! Why can’t you just go to Florida and leave all this in the past? I don’t believe you ever intended to go away!’
‘Look, I’m going home. I can’t talk to you when you’re like this.’
‘You can’t talk to me, ever again, Johnny Hogan. This is the end of it. Eddy was right about you. You’re flashy and selfish and you’ve never loved anyone in your life. Except yourself. I hate you.’
‘I love you, Marion. More than you’ll ever know.’
‘I don’t care! Don’t you get it? You’re living in a fantasy world. I loved you when I had no sense, Johnny. I was stupid and immature and naive. I loved you because you were a great dancer and because you had a cool car and because you were well known about the city. They were stupid reasons to love somebody. I’ll never get over how much I hurt Eddy when I left him for you. And then he gave me a second chance, and married me in very difficult circumstances; and raised Declan like he was his own son. And then I let poor Eddy down again by even talking to you about all this. Are you trying to split us up for good? Is that it?’
‘You know how I feel about you, Marion. When I kissed you outside the hotel, I know you felt something. The way you looked at me. I know that look. You wanted me back, didn’t
you?’
‘Look, get this straight. Even if Eddy left me today, I wouldn’t take you back. Not if you got down on your knees and begged me to marry you. Not if you were the last man on earth,’ she said, almost in tears. This conversation was going round in circles and getting nowhere. She could feel a huge headache beginning behind her left eye.
‘I don’t believe you, Marion. Come to the ballroom with me, now, and dance with me again. Just the two of us? Let’s feel that old razzle-dazzle!’
‘Right, that’s it! Will you just go to America, and give us all some peace? If you come anywhere near my family, you’ll be sorry. I’ll make Declan choose between us, and we both know who’ll be left out in the cold. And you might think Eddy was a pushover last time, but if I told him what you just said to me, he would kill you with his bare hands.’
And she pulled off the silver bracelet, and threw it at him. Then she grabbed her jacket and went running through the park, her chest heaving with rage. Johnny picked the delicate bracelet up off the grass, and held it in his hand. He sat on the bench for a long time, just thinking. Maybe he had lost Marion for ever, to that boring baker, Greenwood, and his silly little cake shop. But that wasn’t going to be the end of the story. Oh, no. He wasn’t giving up on Declan.
26. Hogan’s Goodbye Disco
It was the day of Hogan’s Goodbye Disco in the ballroom on Magnolia Street, and Johnny Hogan put on his legendary white jacket for the last time. Within twenty-four hours, the shutters would go up and the music and the magic would fade away, possibly for ever. Johnny felt a heavy weight in his heart, but he knew that he was just too old for the responsibilities that came with running such a big enterprise. Maybe the ballroom would continue under someone else’s management, and maybe it would be sold and demolished. Either way, it would be out of his hands. He opened the curtains and the morning sun came bursting through the tall windows of the house on Eglantine Avenue. The sun shone on the new leather suitcases that Johnny had bought for his journey to Florida.
In a few days he would be thousands of miles away, and Declan would be married, and in a few months Johnny’s grandchild would be born and given the Greenwood surname. And eventually Declan would work at one of the city’s five hospitals, saving lives instead of spinning records. Being the pillar of respectability that his mother wanted him to be. Unless Johnny’s latest big idea could do something to change all that. Because Johnny was an ideas man, he had a great imagination. That was why he had survived for twenty years in the entertainment scene. He was always good at getting out of one trend, when it was coming to an end, and jumping on the next bandwagon before anybody else in the city.
Johnny was pleased with his reflection in the hall mirror. His hairdresser had put a little sachet of dark rinse in his hair, specially for tonight; and Johnny thought it looked almost natural. He could easily pass for forty, when the lights in the ballroom were dimmed. He wanted to look his best for his last night there. He had ordered two thousand golden-coloured tickets from the printers and they were all sold. The last night of entertainment, under Johnny’s stewardship, in the ballroom, would kick off at five o’clock that evening, with a fifties-style tea dance. For the old-timers. Crooners, like Bing Crosby and Frank Sinatra, tinkling out of the speakers. A hot supper at nine, and then a quick tidy-up before the main event, a disco extravaganza beginning at ten and carrying on until three o’clock in the morning. Hits from four decades would be played: Elvis, the Beatles, the Bay City Rollers, and Spandau Ballet, to name but a few. DJ Toni had been selecting records for this night for months. Johnny would make a speech at some stage during the last hour.
The punters could dress up in period outfits if they wanted to; there would be prizes for the best costumes. Hot food and exotic cocktails would be served all night, right the way through until 3 a.m., a late licence having been reluctantly granted by the council. All the staff were coming in to work, and some extra people had been taken on as well. A professional photographer had been hired to take action shots of the big night. If Johnny had worked out his figures correctly, he should make about twenty thousand pounds tonight, on the bar alone. Half of that amount again, in the food bar. The tickets had raised a fortune. It would be enough to set him up in his new life; and, of course, when the house was sold, he would be rolling in cash.
Alex Stone would be back on door duty, and-determined not to admit any troublemakers to the ballroom. Johnny had been very good to take him on again, after that little run-in with the law. And now that he was working legally and above board for the first time in his life, he vowed never to allow law-breakers over the threshold again. All the bouncers would be here tonight, in their best suits and bow ties. They had been ordered to check all the tickets carefully, and let no gatecrashers in whatsoever. The police were going to keep an eye on the street, just in case Eugene Lolly turned up, but they weren’t expecting him to put in an appearance. Still, the bouncers remained on a state of high alert. A trouble-free night would result in a big bonus for them all.
James had telephoned from the bungalow in Portstewart to wish Johnny well. He would not be attending, and Eileen wasn’t feeling up to it either. She would cry her eyes out, the whole night long, James whispered into the receiver. Johnny understood.
Marion and Eddy were not attending, either. That was to be expected. But Declan was coming. The lad knew most of the bar staff well, and Johnny made sure that Declan was able to get a couple of tickets. He wrote their names on the tickets himself. Declan’s ticket was number 742. Marion had telephoned Johnny the day before, and begged him to leave things the way they were. Johnny could talk to Declan for a little while, when he was meeting and greeting the crowd. Would that be enough for him? Maybe have a photo taken with his arm round the boy? If Johnny was really going away, did getting to know Declan matter now? Johnny had promised that he would take his secret with him when he boarded the flight to America. He intended to keep his promise.
It was only ten o’clock in the morning. Johnny would go to the ballroom at two in the afternoon, to open up, and check on the arrangements. Until then, he hadn’t much to do. The house was tidy, the little bit of grocery shopping was done. Marion was right about one thing: being a footloose bachelor was great fun when you were young, but it wasn’t so exciting when you were middle-aged. Now, if he had married the silly woman, in 1967, he’d be looking forward to the birth of his first grandchild. And showing his fine son, Declan, how to run the family business. For the poor boy wouldn’t be strolling around the neat lawns of Queen’s University, with a pack of snobs, if he’d been properly raised as Johnny’s son. That was for sure.
Johnny decided to go for a long drive, to steady his nerves. He was going to shake his son’s hand that night and look him in the eye and talk to him for a few minutes. He hoped he could steel himself to remain calm when the overhead lights came on at the end of the night, and the crowds were filing out of the main doors for the last time. He couldn’t think of one occasion in his entire life when he had actually cried in front of a crowd, and he didn’t want to start today.
He would drive to Newcastle, and walk along the beach for a while and think of the many wind-blown picnics he had shared there with his grandparents. (Sand in the sandwiches, and lukewarm tea in plastic cups.) He would skim stones across the bay, and hop across the rock pools. He would call into a hotel for lunch and one small whiskey, and maybe even put some loose change into the slot machines in the amusement arcades.
Johnny wasn’t a gambling man, but tonight, he would take the biggest gamble of his life. It was a plan he had entertained and dismissed dozens of times during the last few days. And he knew that Marion and Eddy would be furious with him. But he was going to keep his promise. He wouldn’t tell Declan who he was. But that didn’t mean he couldn’t give the lad a legacy of some kind. So, he had adapted his plan slightly. He was going to give Declan the family business: the ballroom and all the goodwill he had built up through the years. In a raffle. A fixed raffle.
Declan could sell the site to fund his medical studies or pay for his first home; or he could run the business himself if he wanted to. He was a grown man of twenty. He could make up his own mind. And Johnny would see if he liked America enough to retire there. And if not, he would come home and live in Portstewart with his grandparents, and maybe run a little ice-cream parlour, or a chip shop. Something like that, where he could still meet people every day. It was a good plan.
Only weeks before, Eileen had made him promise that he would never sell the ballroom. Not ever, for any reason. But she had not said he could not give it away. So, it would not be a betrayal of Eileen Hogan’s trust. Or his late parents’ memory. And Eddy Greenwood couldn’t accuse him of trying to buy Declan’s love. He would not tell Declan who he really was. No one in the city knew that Johnny and Declan were connected in any way. His romance with Marion was long forgotten. It would seem, to everyone, like a genuine prize draw. Declan’s ticket to the Goodbye Disco was also going to be the winning ticket in the draw. Number 742.
And Marion could do nothing about it, either. No lawyer could find fault with the draw or prove it had been fixed. Johnny was going to put his hand in the ticket drum, and pull out the winning ticket from his shirt cuff. Marion and Eddy couldn’t publicly accuse him of fixing the raffle without revealing their precious secret. Declan would be the new and rightful owner of the business. He was twenty years of age. A legal adult. His overprotective mother could not intervene. She had cheated Johnny out of his son; and twenty years’ worth of love and good times. Because of her obsession with respectability, and all that middle-class nonsense. But she could not cheat Declan out of his rightful inheritance.
There would be a few other prizes, smaller ones, to make it look good and sustain the party atmosphere. A few bottles of wine and whiskey, some money prizes, a huge and showy trophy for the best costume. But the highlight of the night would be the surprise announcement of a Grand Draw. For the ballroom, itself. And no one knew a thing about it. It was going to be a fantastic note on which to end Johnny’s career in the entertainment industry.