by Sharon Owens
Kate reluctantly rang her mother at home to tell her she had changed her mind about leaving the country. She didn’t have the energy to open up her own salon in Paris, after all. She wanted to go home and sleep for a hundred years instead. She knew her mother would be in fine rant-mode, and she was right. Mrs Winters would have crawled down the wire and bitten Kate’s head off, if she could. She had an amazing ability to talk and breathe at the same time so that there were no gaps whatsoever in her tirade. Kate held the receiver at arm’s length and held her breath for the onslaught.
‘Kate? Is that you? Where are you? We’re all worried sick, here.’
‘I’m at Aldergrove.’
‘She’s at the airport! Everybody! She’s all right. She’s at the airport. What the hell are you trying to do to me, you big stupid article? I thought you’d done your friggin’ nut! Your da’s in the shed and he won’t come out. He says he can’t take any more stress and this weddin’s gonna finish him off, for sure. Kate Winters, I want you to come straight home and stop this nonsense. Declan is here and he thinks you’ve had an anxiety attack and that the cure is to have counselling and relaxation classes. Relaxation classes, if you don’t mind. You that wrote the book on how to be a lazy lump! And Shirley says she has been trying to tell you to calm down for years but you wouldn’t listen. You go to the doctor, if you think it will help. In my opinion, you’d be better off saying some prayers to Our Lady. And by the way, you broke the font. But off with you, to the doctor! He might put you on tablets. Although I think you may do without the tablets, my girl. Your great-aunt Betty went on the tablets when her husband, George, died in a head-on crash with a lorry full of lemonade in 1952, and she never got off them till the day she died in 1979. And if an advert came on the telly for lemonade of any kind, she had to be sedated. So I don’t want you going down that road. Do you hear me? You’ll have me in the grave with all this carry-on. I’m sixty-one, you know. You may go to the relaxation classes, and buck up your ideas while you’re at it. I can-not believe you bolted off out of this house, without so much as a by-your-leave, and telling me you’re leaving the country. When you know for a fact that your passport is in a biscuit tin in the hall cabinet. What’s Kevin McGovern going to say about this? Will he still take you on, with a slate off your roof? That’s what I want to know! And the dress that cost a fortune. It’s a sin, what that dress cost –’
‘Where is Kevin?’ Kate sighed. There was no point in looking for any sympathy from her mother. If Kate were hanging off a cliff by one fingernail, being bitten on the nose by a deadly scorpion, and suffering from a brain-melting fever all at the same time, Mrs Winters would have told her to stop complaining. No, the sympathy would be in short supply tonight. Better to get the practicalities over with.
‘He was in his garage all day, the poor sucker. Putting in some overtime so he can support you in the manner to which you have become accustomed. A fancy house with all the latest mod cons! Gold taps, if you don’t mind! And a pull-down ironing board in the kitchen. Oh, things have changed since my day. Forty-eight hours after I got married, I was back in my apron, scrubbing floors in the Royal. You’ve been spoilt rotten from the word go. I blame myself for this. You’ve always got away with murder. Stealing money from the church envelopes! Well, we should have seen the writing on the wall, that day. Your father wouldn’t spank you, and he wouldn’t let me do it either. You need help, so you do. There’s poor Shirley, letting you swan about like Lady Muck, taking over her lovely wedding, and you’re not even grateful. She didn’t have to, you know. Mrs Greenwood didn’t have to, either. And the money they’ve spent on the grub and the fiddle-players would turn your hair snow-white.’ She paused to blow her nose, and Kate saw her chance.
‘Mum, can you send someone to collect me at the airport? I’ve no money left.’
‘That doesn’t surprise me. We’ve been going through your room, looking for some clues, and I had no idea you had so much stuff. Knee-deep, that room is, with stuff. Honestly, I don’t know what I’ve done to deserve this.’ She turned to Shirley and Declan and said, ‘She wants a lift home from the airport, Shirley. No, Declan will not go. Declan, sit down! Sit down!’ A sigh. ‘Kate Winters, do you see the trouble you’re causing? Declan and Shirley are going to Hogan’s for an hour or so. And they are not going to the airport at this time of the night. I’ll ring Kevin and ask him to go. Although I should make you walk home, you eejit!’
‘No! Don’t tell Kevin what I did. Don’t tell him where I am. It was just cold feet. I’m okay now. Honestly.’ No point in telling her mother that she was having a breakdown. In her mother’s book, only spoilt celebrities had breakdowns and that was because they were full of drugs and champagne and had no responsibilities.
‘There’s no one else available, Kate. You know we haven’t a car. You should have thought of this before you scared us all half to death. I’m going to the chapel to say a prayer for you, right this minute, and you can think about what you’re going to say to that poor creature of a man of yours, when you see him in person. Goodbye.’ And she slammed down the phone.
Kate gently replaced the receiver in its cradle. Actually, that hadn’t gone too badly, she thought. Her mother seemed to have got a grip on the situation. Normally she needed things to be explained to her several times before she realized what was going on. Kate sat down on a chair and rubbed her arms. She felt very cold.
‘Have you someone to come and collect you, dear?’ asked the kindly lady in the office. ‘No need to be embarrassed. A flying phobia, is it?’
‘Yes,’ said Kate. ‘That’s all it was. I’m going home now. My boyfriend is coming to take me home.’
‘Right you be,’ said the lady. ‘I’ll leave you to your thoughts. If you’d like to take a seat over there? It’s more comfortable.’ She directed Kate to a small sofa behind a blue felt partition, and gave her a blanket to put round her shoulders. Kate was so grateful she hugged the smiling woman, and soon fell asleep. Forty-five minutes later, Kevin came running into the airport. Kate burst into tears when she woke up and saw him kneeling on the carpet in front of her. He looked so worried.
‘Kate, are you all right?’
‘Yes. I’m fine. I’m sorry about all this.’
‘What happened, pet?’
‘Just a funny turn I took.’
‘Cold feet?’
‘Not at all. Not in the sense you mean.’ Her feet were like blocks of ice.
‘But you were going somewhere?’
‘I was toying with the idea.’
‘But why?’
‘It’s just all the excitement. Honestly, my head’s not right today.’
‘But we were going to go to Hogan’s tonight.’
‘I’m sorry, Kevin. I’m too tired.’
‘It’s too late now, anyway. We’ll not be back till midnight.’
‘Please take me home, Kevin.’ She folded the soft blanket. She laid it on the sofa and said, ‘I’m very cold now. That was a nice blanket. I wonder where I could buy a blanket like that?’
‘Here, take my coat.’ He stripped off his leather jacket and draped it round Kate’s shoulders. It smelt of engine oil.
Kate thought it was a very pleasant sensation to be enveloped in Kevin’s jacket. She smiled. ‘Thanks, Kevin. That’s lovely.’
‘Do you want to call off the wedding, Kate?’
‘No.’
‘Are you sure?’
‘Yes.’
‘Then, why are you sitting in the airport?’
Kate thought she would try blaming someone else. That’s what she normally did when she was in trouble.
‘Louise Lowry told me you were a drug-dealer.’
‘What?’
‘The Bungalow Baron, she said. That’s your code name.’
‘And you believed her?’
‘I don’t know. You have spent a lot of money on me. The house. The honeymoon. Thousands of pounds.’
‘And you thought the only way I could af
ford that was to deal drugs?’
‘I don’t know, Kevin. I panicked.’
‘I’ve taken out a massive bank loan, you twit!’
‘I’m so sorry.’
She was truly miserable, Kevin noted. And it was getting late and they were both confused.
‘Is there anything else that’s worrying you?’
‘The baby.’
‘Shirley’s baby?’
‘Yes. And our babies. I’m scared of the pain.’
‘You can have all the drugs they’ve got on offer.’
‘Maybe you could supply me with some!’
And they both laughed, although it was a bit half-hearted.
‘I’m still scared. I don’t want strangers interfering with my modesty, as my mother would say. All those little metal tools you see rattling on the trolley in hospital dramas. I just couldn’t bear it, Kevin.’
‘That’s just your mother talking. It will be fine when you’re having our babies. You won’t care about all that when the time comes. You’ll be with the experts. They won’t let you suffer.’
‘How do you know? What if we don’t make it to the hospital on time? What if I can’t cope with the pain? What if I crack up and scream until my brain disintegrates? I know it’s hard for some people to comprehend, Kevin, but telling a nervous person to pull themselves together, just does not work.’
‘You can have a pre-planned C-section if you’re that worried. If your doctor recommends you for one. I’ll hold your hand, all the way.’
‘How do you know things like this?’
‘Kate, it’s common knowledge. Look. We’ll go private. They give you what you want when you go private. No labour at all. You don’t need to be in labour if you’re having a Caesarean. You can have your own room in the hospital, too. For privacy. And I won’t leave your side throughout.’
‘I don’t know anything about looking after children.’
‘Neither do I. We’ll learn together. We’ll buy a book.’
‘I can’t even cook scrambled eggs. They always burn.’
‘Who cares? We’ll have boiled eggs. I’ve got simple tastes. We’ll take it in turns to fry chops.’
‘I don’t want to grow old.’ Tears were running down her face.
‘Is that it? You don’t want to grow up, you mean?’
‘I don’t know. I’m scared.’
‘You’ll still be the same age, Kate, married to me or not. It’ll be great, being married. We’ll be a team, helping each other. Supporting each other.’
‘I know that. It’s just…’
‘Shush, sweetheart. I’ll take you home now and you can have a good rest. And we’ll tell Declan that we’re pulling out of the wedding. We’ll get married some other time. If you still want to.’
‘Kevin!’
‘Well, there’s no point in going ahead with it, if you feel this way. You’re supposed to enjoy your wedding day, Kate. I don’t want you to keel over at the altar rails.’
‘Are you worried about being shown up?’ she sobbed.
‘Kate, I don’t want to be left standing there, in front of my relations. Of course I don’t. But more than that, I don’t want to have to cope with a broken heart in the middle of Shirley’s big day. We’ll ruin it for them, too. If you change your mind at the last minute. And it’s Declan’s family who are paying for all this. The reception is in their restaurant. Are you not thinking straight?’
‘I guess not.’
‘Come on, let’s go. We can’t sit here all night.’
They stood up. Kate gathered her bags.
‘What are you doing with all these handbags?’ Kevin asked.
‘I was going to open a shop in Paris.’
‘I see.’
Kevin guided Kate out of the office, through the main doors and down to the car park. A cold breeze was cutting through them as they walked to the car. Kate sat in the passenger seat and stared straight ahead. Kevin covered her knees with a picnic blanket. He thought that Kate was close to collapse and that the wedding was just too much for her. It was all too soon. And he was to blame. Some people dated for ten years before they got married. If Kate ended up on medication, it would all be his fault. She didn’t love him. He could see that now. He would make things easier for her. He would finish the relationship that evening, as soon as he had brought her back to her mother and father. He would tell them not to leave Kate by herself for a few days, until she was back in the real world. They drove home in silence. Kate thought that Belfast looked very peaceful at night with all the street lights twinkling in the darkness. She closed her eyes and slept for a while.
Mrs Winters was standing on the pavement, with her arms folded and her lips pursed. Kevin’s heart was as heavy as a lump of lead when he saw the grim expression on her face. He hoped Kate’s family wouldn’t be too hard on her, in the weeks and months to come. Mrs Winters, in particular, seemed to be missing the sympathy gene.
‘Here she is,’ she began, as Kevin pulled up and switched off the engine. ‘Here comes the runaway bride!’ And she knocked on Kate’s window with the back of her fist, her wedding ring making a tinny tap on the cold glass.
Kate blinked awake. Her mother’s face was distorted with rage.
‘Aw, Jesus wept! I can’t face this now,’ Kate whimpered.
It seemed to both of them that Kate couldn’t face a lot of things.
‘Kate, I never thought I’d say this but I think we should break up.’
‘What?’
‘I think it’s for the best. Don’t you?’
‘No! You don’t mean this?’
‘You obviously don’t feel the same way for me, as I feel for you.’
‘I do. Kevin! I do.’
‘I can’t get married under these conditions, pet. I have feelings, too, you know. I’ve done everything I can think of to make you happy, and it isn’t working out. Let’s just have a clean break. I’m sorry I came on too strong about getting married.’
‘I do love you, Kevin.’
‘But not enough to marry me? You were running away.’
‘It was just cold feet. A silly thing, nothing to worry about.’
‘Goodnight, Kate. Your mum’s waiting.’
‘Kevin, listen –’
‘Kate, please. Just go. If we aren’t ready for marriage, at our age, we never will be. We can talk about the details in a couple of days when you’ve calmed down.’
Mrs Winters was pulling at the door handle. Kevin was reaching for the ignition key and shaking his head. His cheeks were sucked in with disappointment. His highlights were falling over his lovely hazel eyes. The unthinkable was happening. He was leaving her. No one had ever left Kate Winters before.
And that was when Kate felt a huge sense of loss, even though she was exhausted and cold and absolutely fed up. She was about to lose the only man who had ever truly loved her, and she knew she would be listening to her mother reminding her of that fact, for ever and a day. Drama? Here was high drama indeed. Ten times more dramatic than hanging around with bad boys. And it wasn’t pleasant at all. She never wanted a minute’s drama in her life again.
‘Kevin, wait! I love you madly.’
‘I’m tired –’
‘I want to marry you. Really I do. Take me home, Kevin.’
‘Oh, Kate, don’t do this to me. You’re driving me crazy.’
‘Please! I don’t want to live in this house any more. I don’t want to listen to Mum telling me I have ten O Levels any more. I don’t want to have to look at all those bloody ornaments any more.’
‘You need to get some sleep. You’re exhausted.’
‘I want to get married. I want to be grown up!’
‘I don’t know. I just don’t know any more.’
‘I want to be with you, Kevin McGovern. Give me one more chance.’
‘Kate –’
‘Please, Kevin. I’ve been such an idiot.’ There was a touch of hysteria in her voice.
‘Calm down, pet.
You’ll upset yourself again. We won’t decide anything tonight. We’ll wait for a few days before we tell people it’s over. Okay?’
‘Do you want me to get out onto the road, and kneel down, and beg you to take me back? Is that what you want?’
‘Don’t be ridiculous. It’s cold –’ But she was already reaching for the door handle.
‘I’ll show you,’ she cried. ‘I’ll knock on every door in the street and tell people I have been a complete fool, and that I am a changed woman.’
‘Kate, don’t make this night any worse than it is already –’
‘I love Kevin McGovern,’ Kate roared into the night sky, as her mother stepped back in shock. ‘I really love him, Mum.’ Kate was struggling to get out of the car, her handbags spilling out into the gutter again. She got one foot onto the pavement, and tried to haul herself up. Kevin caught her round the waist and pulled her back inside.
‘You’d better mean this,’ he said gravely. ‘I’m at my wits’ end, here.’
‘I mean it,’ she said. ‘I love you. I love you. I love you.’ She opened the car window and told her mother the great news. ‘I love Kevin. We’re going home now.’
Mrs Winters was about to give Kate another lecture but Kate wound the window up again and waved at her mother happily through the glass.
‘Hurry up, darling,’ she said to Kevin. ‘I can’t wait to snuggle up in our big bed and put all this misery behind us. Like you said before, it’s now or never. And I’m ready for you now…’