‘All we’re missing is a gun and a dog,’ Gus said, cracking a rare – for him – joke.
Harriet had forgotten how beautiful Meadowbrook Manor was, as they set off. They headed towards the sprawling gardens, out of the back door, which were even more spectacular than she remembered; perfect lawns, lush greenery and the most beautiful flower beds. As she looked to the horizon, the garden, which seemed to stretch for miles, was awash with colour. Meadowbrook Manor spanned acres and acres in total, but the garden was separated by a tall hedge, where her father had secret doors installed so they could get through to the fields, meadows, and woods beyond. As there were public footpaths running across the land in places, he wanted the gardens defined so he didn’t find people wandering around them. He was quite welcoming, but he didn’t like the idea of people he hadn’t invited in his private space.
‘Wow the air here is so different from New York, I’d forgotten,’ she said, breathing deeply. The warm air, the slight breeze rippling through, was helping her head settle a bit.
‘I wish you were nearer,’ Pippa said, linking arms with her sister. ‘I miss you.’ Pippa found affection so easy, Harriet envied that too.
‘I’m sorry I’m not better at keeping in touch, just so busy. I should have come home more.’ She felt the inadequacy of her words.
‘It must be hard being such a success,’ Gus said.
‘Hey, Gus, I hear your business isn’t so shabby,’ Harriet replied, light-heartedly. Gus had always suffered from an inferiority complex. It was unfounded, of course. She often thought it must be hard to be the child in between her, always competitive and desperate to achieve, and Freddie who just charmed his way through life. She looked at Gus and, not for the first time, wondered who he actually was, or what he wanted in life. He seemed so, well, just so disappointed.
‘It’s hardly cutting edge. A successful, yes, but plainly dull insurance company in Bristol. Insurance, I mean who ever thought they wanted to work in insurance?’ He laughed, but it sounded hollow.
‘I certainly never did,’ Freddie unhelpfully replied.
‘Everyone needs insurance,’ Harriet pointed out.
‘Pah. Look at me, I’m divorced, with a job I hate, a daughter who I barely know how to communicate with. It’s not what Dad planned for my life that’s for sure,’ Gus added.
She wanted to tell him that her life wasn’t perfect either, far from it in fact. Yes, she was successful, money not an object, but her personal life … well that was a mess. But she couldn’t find the words.
Gosh, she felt so responsible for them all again. Although she knew she would have to go back to New York she suddenly didn’t feel like rushing back. She had taken immediate compassionate leave, but there had been no duration specified. She knew she would need to speak to him; her boss and also her lover. The shameful secret she hadn’t shared with any of her family, that she was sleeping with Zach, boss and married man. She didn’t like to think too much about the wrongs and rights. It was what it was, after all.
They all stood, instead, and admired the rose garden which was filled with beautiful buds, looking as if they were desperate to explode into colour. ‘Who does the garden here anyway?’ Gus asked suddenly. ‘It looks so gorgeous, like those gardens you see at the Chelsea Flower Show.’
‘Didn’t old Jed die years ago?’ Harriet said, bringing herself back to the conversation. Jed had been their gardener and lived in one of the three cottages on the estate, alongside Gwen’s and what was now Connor’s. He’d been part of Meadowbrook, and insisted on working well into his old age, and when he died, their father was devastated. He loved the old gardener, they all did. Gus, she suddenly remembered, used to trail around after him helping in the garden when he was a kid.
‘There’s a lady now,’ Pippa said. ‘She’s a fancy garden designer and has a team who work on it, but also the village gets involved.’ Pippa gestured to the gorgeous space they were all looking at.
‘Right, come on, let’s go and walk, that should blow the hangover away before we have to hear the will.’ Harriet strode off, feeling purposeful.
‘What do you think he’s done? I mean, I know there’s a lot of money but—’ Gus looked uncomfortable, probably because their father used to say that talking about money was common and Gus hated anyone thinking he was greedy.
‘Oh, knowing Dad, he’s left it all to some home for wayward hamsters,’ Freddie laughed. Their father had an animal sanctuary on part of Meadowbrook land, Connor and he had opened it three years ago when Connor first came back. Harriet had heard plenty about it from her father, but she didn’t pay too much attention. But it wasn’t unlikely that the money would go to it, she laughed, to herself. Freddie pulled out a hip flask and took a slug.
‘Freddie, didn’t you have enough last night?’ Harriet chastised, shaking her head.
‘Hair of the dog.’
‘Fred, you don’t want to be pissed when the will’s being read,’ Gus said.
‘I probably do, especially if he’s left everything to the hamsters.’ Freddie drained his hip flask. Harriet couldn’t help but giggle. Yes, her brother was a bit wild, which made Gus’s sensible, slightly dull manner seem even more pronounced, but he was funny with it.
Chalk and cheese, yet thick as thieves. Harriet heard her father’s voice. She looked around, of course it was madness, to think he was there, but their dad had always said that about her brothers and she felt warm as she replayed the phrase in her head.
‘Right, well perhaps we ought to walk a bit quicker, David will be here soon.’ Harriet changed the subject and hustled her siblings on.
‘Harriet, I’m so pleased that you are still as bossy as I remember,’ Freddie quipped.
‘I’m not bossy, Fred, I’m just trying to get you organised.’ Harriet tried not to feel offended but she remembered how she used to be called bossy, bossyboots, or ‘yes boss’ as a child, often preceded by a swear word as they got older. Apparently, she always told them what to do and they were too scared to argue with her.
‘Gosh, you used to boss us about something rotten,’ Pippa said.
‘I’m afraid you did, Harry,’ Gus finished.
‘Right, well then let’s finish this walk and then get your arses back to the house.’ A smile curled at Harriet’s lips.
‘Yes, boss,’ Gus replied and he grinned back at her.
Chapter 4
The family solicitor was almost as familiar to Harriet as Gwen. David Castle had been in and out of Meadowbrook for as long as she could remember. He was a few years younger than their father, still practising law, showing no signs of wanting to retire as he wore his customary pinstripe suit and silk tie. He had been at the funeral, of course, where they had greeted him like an uncle, but now he was there in an official capacity and suddenly everything felt serious. It wasn’t the money. None of them, as far as she knew, was desperate for money, or the house. Goodness knows, she had already been agonising about what they would do with Meadowbrook now. After all, it was their childhood home, the last place they had to remind them of both parents and it was her father’s pride and joy. If they had to sell it, it would be another step in saying goodbye. First was the death, then the funeral and now this. It was all taking their father further and further away from them. She couldn’t imagine not having Meadowbrook or another family living here, but then what choice did she have?
They all sat awkwardly waiting for David to speak. Mark had wanted to join them, arguing that Pippa needed his support, but David told him that the strict instructions were that it was only the four of them with him in the room.
‘You all know that your father wasn’t always orthodox,’ David said, as he cleared his throat, tugged at his tie as he stood behind their father’s desk. They all nodded. ‘And although I told him it was probably a terrible idea, he wanted to make a video recording for you.’
Harriet startled. She wasn’t sure how she felt about seeing her father’s face on a screen, or hearing his voice
again.
‘You’re bloody kidding?’ Freddie asked.
‘No,’ David continued. ‘I’m afraid not. He wouldn’t be dissuaded. He said, and I quote, “I want to say goodbye to my children this way and I saw it in a film once.” And I also want to warn you that its contents aren’t exactly normal either. So, I shall play it for you. Are you ready?’
The four siblings looked at each other. Harriet thought they most definitely weren’t ready. But they all stared at the TV screen on the wall of the study as David pressed a button on the remote control.
After a while an ear appeared on screen.
‘Can you see me? Well can you?’ their father’s voice boomed. Harriet jumped. It was as if he was in the room with them.
‘Um, only your ear,’ Gwen’s voice replied.
‘Well move the bloody camera, Gwen,’ Andrew said and, after a few more swear words, his face appeared.
‘Oh my.’ Harriet took a sharp intake of breath. She saw his face every week on their Skype calls but seeing him on screen like this, knowing he was buried in the ground, threatened to derail her. For the first time since her father died, she felt tears burning behind her eyes. Pippa was already sobbing; Freddie had his arms around her. Gus was staring at the screen as if he couldn’t quite believe what he was seeing and Harriet, who was sat next to Gus, finally felt as if she might be able to cry.
‘Right, you all listen carefully now,’ Andrew continued in his loud, clear voice. ‘I’m sorry that I’m dead. I might be a lot older than I am in this video, but I’ve a feeling that I’m not. The doctor said my heart wasn’t the most stable and I knew that it might give out at any time. I could have maybe had some surgery but I didn’t want to do anything which didn’t come with a guarantee, and surgery didn’t. But living does, because living comes with the guarantee of death. So I chose that.’ He paused, turning his head. ‘Gwen, are you getting all this?’
‘Yes, Andrew, clear as a bell,’ Gwen’s voice replied. Goodness, it didn’t surprise Harriet that Gwen was her father’s partner in crime on this.
So, her father shunned surgery, without even discussing it with them. That made her angry but also, it made sense. Her father hated illness, didn’t believe it in. As children, they had to be practically hospitalised to get a day off school.
‘Right, so I’m dead, and you’ve buried me now, so all that remains is for you to hear about my last will and testament. And I know, you’re not greedy children, but anyway I have money, and I’m dead, so I don’t need it and it has to go somewhere.’ He took another pause.
‘He looks as if he’s enjoying this,’ Freddie pointed out.
‘He certainly likes saying that he’s dead a lot,’ Harriet concurred.
‘It’s so strange,’ Gus said.
‘Daddy could be eccentric,’ Pippa pointed out.
He started talking again and they all fell quiet.
‘So where was I? Ah yes, my last wishes. Well my dear friend David will have a copy for each of you, and as I don’t know what date it is – I mean, I know what date it is today, but I don’t know what date it is when you are watching this, then I cannot say for sure. Gwen, does this make sense?’
‘Not really, Andrew,’ again Gwen’s voice rang out.
‘OK, so this isn’t exactly my will, I’m not sure how legal a video recording would be, but the thing is that David will read you my final will and testament a year from the day when you are hearing this. To reiterate, this isn’t my will, it’s kind of a pre-will, and in a year’s time you’ll hear the final thing.’
‘What the hell?’ Gus said. The four siblings looked at each other aghast.
‘What the hell I hear you ask?’ Andrew continued. Harriet shivered, this was beyond bizarre. Seeing, hearing, her father like this, it was both comforting and uncomfortable. ‘Well, you see, my dear children, it’s like this. I might not have been the best father to you all. I tried, but after your mother died, as your only parent, I feel I was lacking. I tried to give you all you needed, or all I thought you needed, education, money, ambition and strength, but I’m not sure I was able to show you how important happiness was, because after I lost your mum I forgot how to be happy a lot of the time. I missed her, I missed her dreadfully, and when she died a part of me died with her, but I couldn’t fall apart, not properly, because I had you four.
‘I know I pushed you all to do well, I wanted you to be carbon copies of me, but only because that was all I knew how to do. And I think I made a mistake. I think your mother would have taught you to be who you wanted to be and I fear that I always tried to drive you to be who I wanted you to be. And at the same time I spoilt you all materially.’
Harriet felt thick with emotion. Yes, her father had been a hard taskmaster but she loved him and it killed her – bad choice of words – that he felt he had failed them. Why hadn’t she ever told him that he hadn’t failed them? Now it was too late.
‘Now I am proud of each of you, I know you didn’t always think I was, and I know I didn’t say it enough, but I am. My only regret is that I didn’t try harder to keep us closer as a family. I let you go too easily.
‘Harriet, my darling firstborn, you are such a high-flyer and I couldn’t be prouder, but I wish I had tried to get you to visit me more. I would so have loved to see you in person and not just on the computer. Although it’s too late for regrets now I know that.’ He seemed to look right at her and Harriet felt sick.
‘And, Gus,’ he continued, ‘I didn’t support you enough with the divorce. I sometimes think that I only saw you because of Fleur and I adore my only granddaughter but I love my son too and I’m not sure I ever told or showed you that enough.’
Harriet couldn’t look at Gus; she couldn’t bear to see the hurt on his face.
‘And also, Gus,’ their father continued, ‘I never let you be who you wanted to be. That is my biggest failing. One I wish to rectify now, but more of that later.
‘Right, Freddie, well you are the most infuriating of my children, all that party, club stuff, but I wish I had reached out to you and made sure that you were all right and not doing drugs or having sex with women in nightclub toilets all the time.’ Harriet glanced at Freddie, she was pretty sure that was exactly what his job entailed. ‘Freddie, you might be a party boy, and the only of my children who asked for money on more than one occasion …’ Now they all looked at Freddie who blushed. ‘But I should have tried to get you to settle down, and I feel that I might have failed you in that. If so, I am sorry. You have such potential and if you want to do your parties then that’s fine, but you need to grow up I’m afraid, we all do at some point, and perhaps I should have helped you more with that.’ Freddie wiped a tear away.
‘Finally, my little Pipsqueak, well I saw more of you than the others, but still I worry about you. I don’t feel that you are as happy as you deserve to be. I’m not sure if it’s Mark – I think it is him – but you didn’t tell me and I didn’t ask. I think I should have asked more about all of you and I feel if I had been there for you all, then you all would have been closer to each other.’ He looked and sounded as if he was choking up. Harriet had never seen her father cry but this was close. ‘I love you all, so so very much.’ There was another pause where they saw their father pick up a glass of whisky and take a drink.
‘This is surreal,’ Freddie said. ‘I mean, wow, really? Are you sure we can’t have a drink?’
‘Shush,’ Gus told him as their father began to speak again. Harriet felt the familiar voice stirring her emotions. It hurt her, slicing through her. Grief. Finally this was the pain that she wanted to feel, to prove that she was alive and that she loved her father. He was like a god to her. That wasn’t in dispute. But now, apart from on the screen where he was slightly left of centre, she would never see him again.
‘I will miss each and every one of you, please believe that. And I want to put things right for all of you, so that is why the following might come as a shock to you. My actual will will be read a
year from today. David will take care of that. Have I already said that, Gwen?’
‘Yes, Andrew, I told you you should have written a script.’
‘No, it’s all here, I don’t need a script.’ He tapped his head. ‘And until then, I need you to fulfil my last, dying wish. Or dead wish because I am dead of course. Ha!’ He paused and stared straight at the camera.
‘We are sure he’s dead?’ Gus asked. ‘Because this is madness, and I have the feeling he’s going to jump out at any time and say this has all been a ruse to get us home.’
‘He’s dead, Gus,’ Harriet almost whispered.
‘And I am dead, so this isn’t some kind of sick joke. You know I didn’t joke enough when you were young. I was so driven, so busy making money. I should have had more fun, but now is not the time for that. So, you will all be here a year from now to hear what happens to my considerable fortune and the house. But I will tell you this, Gwen is taken care of, as is Connor, and Fleur, but you guys will get the rest of my estate, the money and the house. All equally split of course. I know you always thought I had favourites, but I really didn’t.’
‘Well now we know that, why do we have to wait a year?’ Harriet asked. ‘This makes no sense.’
‘Why do you have to wait a year in that case?’ Andrew continued. ‘Well, you see there are conditions to the money. You four will equally divide the bulk of everything; the money, the house, art, et cetera, anything that isn’t specifically bequeathed to anyone else. But before you get anything, you have to agree to my conditions. Firstly, you must all live together in Meadowbrook Manor for a year.’
‘What?’ Freddie yelped, making Harriet jump.
‘Yes, I repeat, you will live here, all of you together. It’s time you were a family again and this is the only way I can make it happen. And I know you are all going to say that it’s impossible because of your jobs and, Pippa, of course you’re married to Mark, but actually you can all take a year off. I have looked into it and given it a great deal of thought. Here’s how I suggest it will work.
A Year at Meadowbrook Manor Page 3