‘I haven’t told them,’ he hissed.
‘What haven’t you told us?’ Harriet asked.
‘I need a cigarette.’ Freddie jumped up and almost ran outside.
‘Should one of us go after him?’ Pippa asked.
‘I’ll go in a minute,’ Loretta sighed. ‘I’m sorry, I fought he’d told you.’
‘Told us what?’
‘His business went tits up, a while back. Poor Fred was terrified of telling your dad, so he didn’t. He sold his flat to cover the debts and moved in with me. Virtually penniless he is.’
‘Ah, that might explain why he didn’t sleep last night,’ Gus reasoned.
‘And why he was so keen to stay here this year, even when it involved chickens.’ Harriet and Gus raised their eyebrows at each other. Poor Freddie. When the year was up, he would need his share of the money, unlike them he had nothing else.
‘Chickens?’ Loretta asked.
‘Go after him, Loretta, tell him we’re all here for him when he’s ready to come in,’ Harriet pleaded, her heart going out to Freddie.
It explained a lot. His drinking, his moments of running off to be alone, the slightly hopeless air that he’d worn since their father’s funeral. Why hadn’t Freddie told them? They would have helped him, she would, although she guessed being the other side of the world she couldn’t have done much. But she was here now and she wasn’t going anywhere, she was determined that she would do all she could for Freddie and her siblings.
Meadowbrook was a house that needed people, they all said so, but it was strained after Loretta’s revelation. Dinner was pretty much abandoned as Freddie, sheepishly explained how they’d been silly with the business, how younger people had come in and taken over the party scene and they’d been too arrogant to move with the times. Instead of selling up, they ran up more debts and finally it caught up with him. Freddie sold practically everything he owned and thankfully Loretta had taken him in. He had no income, no clue what to do next and he was ashamed.
‘Freddie, there’s nothing to be ashamed about.’ Pippa’s eyes were full of tears.
‘Just, bad luck, old chap,’ Mark offered.
‘And you’ve got us,’ Gus pointed out.
‘And this year you’re taken care of,’ Harriet said, after all she was pretty much in the same boat – apart from being penniless and having a model partner of course. ‘You can have a long think about what you want to do with your life, just like the rest of us.’
‘Not Pippa,’ Mark said quickly.
‘No, Pippa’s sorted, but the rest of us, Mark,’ Gus said, reasonably. ‘Fred, Harry’s right, you can take this year to have a long think about what you really want to do with your life.’
‘Or you don’t have to do nothing. Because surely at the end of this year you’re going to be rich, aren’t you?’ Loretta said. No one spoke as all eyes turned to her.
What the hell? Harriet wanted to scream but, sensing this, Gus moved to her side and hissed for her to stay quiet.
Harriet woke early the following morning, still unsettled about the events of the night before, about Freddie. She found herself at the animal sanctuary where, despite the rain, she went to fetch Hilda. Connor was feeding the dogs when she arrived.
‘Morning, how are you?’ she asked, cheerfully.
‘Well, this little man,’ he picked a small terrier called Barney up, ‘is going to his new home today.’ Connor beamed.
‘Ah, Barney, we will miss you,’ Harriet said. Barney yapped. Harriet felt emotional. When the animals were rehomed it was a moment of triumph. They were going to carefully vetted families and would be part of a home, rather than here, which although lovely wasn’t the same. But it always struck her that so many more were left behind. And when a dog or cat did get rehomed it just seemed like a matter of time before more came in. Harriet hated that aspect. She wanted them all to have loving homes.
‘But he’s going to a lovely couple who just lost their dog and so they’ll really spoil him. Hey, Harry, you look as if you’re going to cry. Are you all right?’
‘Well, not really, last night was hideous. Freddie’s miserable. His girlfriend told us that his business went bust and he’s penniless.’
‘Oh God, I had no idea, poor Fred,’ Connor said, concern etched across his face.
‘And now he’s acting as if he’s a failure, and well, I’m worried he might be depressed. Not that Loretta seems to have noticed.’ Harriet didn’t mind Loretta at first. But after the comment about the house and then about Freddie being rich, she wasn’t so sure.
‘What’s his girlfriend like?’ Connor asked.
‘Hot, very hot. But I’m not sure she’s a member of Mensa.’ Harriet hated to sound like a bitch, especially in front of Connor who never said anything bad against anyone.
‘Anything I can do to help, let me know?’ He smiled and Harriet tried not to notice the dimple on one side of his lips. An angel’s kiss, Gwen always said. She felt herself flush at the thought of kissing his dimple. What the hell was wrong with her?
‘What are you doing tonight?’ she asked, impulsively.
‘No plans, why?’
‘Will you take me somewhere, anywhere away from here. I just feel I need to get away for the evening.’ She was once again on the edge of tears.
Connor’s eyes flecked with concern. ‘Hey, how about we go out for dinner? Just the two of us; a change of scene?’
‘Thanks, are you sure you don’t mind?’ Harriet felt embarrassed she was a charity case and Connor, who was so nice, had taken pity on her, but at the same time she needed to get out of the house. She was finding it hard living with the others. She was so used to living alone and making decisions that were hers alone, having to think about the others, the sanctuary, her father, it was a struggle. She loved them dearly, of course, but living and working with them 24/7 was hard for them all, especially as they had so much to come to terms with in their own lives.
‘Why would I mind?’ He looked at her as if she was crazy. ‘Harry, it’ll be great to spend some time with my old pal.’ He shook his head.
‘Thank you, although less of the old. But if it’s more expensive than McDonald’s you’ll have to pay, my pocket money isn’t what it once was,’ she laughed.
‘Fine, my treat.’
‘Right, where’s Hilda, I thought we might go for a walk.’ She changed the subject before she could feel even more of a charity case.
‘Good luck, Hilda hates the rain.’
‘Don’t be silly, she loves being with me.’
Harriet fetched the lead, clipped it on Hilda, who although looked delighted to see her, took one look outside as they approached the door and sat down. Harriet tried to push and pull her, but Hilda wouldn’t move. As she tried coaxing, cajoling and then physically dragging her to the door, all Harriet could hear was Connor laughing.
‘Right, Hilda, if you won’t come with me then I’ll go alone,’ she said as a last threat, but the dog merely wagged her tail. Harriet shot Connor the evil eye, dropped Hilda’s lead, and walked out. The sound of Connor’s laughter and Hilda’s bark following her. Instead she went to visit the animals, taking apples to Gerald and the ponies. She saw Fleur, wrapped in a rain jacket and wellingtons, and Gus with the pigs.
‘Auntie Harry, I think the pigs know Dad now, they actually come up as soon as they see him and you know how lazy they are.’
‘Glad he’s made friends,’ Harriet said dryly.
‘Hey, could do a lot worse. They are very good listeners and don’t talk rubbish,’ Gus smirked.
‘Oh, Dad, you can be so funny,’ Fleur stated.
‘We’re all soaked, so how about we go and get some hot drinks?’ Gus replied, flushed at the compliment his daughter paid him. Fleur started running, leaving Harriet and Gus to take up the rear.
‘Harry, are you all right?’ Gus asked. ‘You seem a bit …’
‘A bit what, Gus?’ Harriet ran her hands through her hair.
&nbs
p; ‘Detached, I guess. Since you’ve been home, you started to open up a bit more, I even saw glimpses of the old Harry, and I guess that I’m the same, but now it’s like you’re guarded again.’
‘Freddie’s news bothered me, and, well, I can’t put my finger on it but something felt a bit wrong last night.’
‘I know, but, Harry, I was wondering, do you feel a bit lonely? Is that what’s bothering you?’
Was it? She was lonely, but then she was used to being alone. She felt suspicious, as if something was up, but maybe that was her too. She had no idea, but if this was grief, then it was playing with her.
‘Probably,’ she mumbled. It was easier than trying to find the truth. ‘Maybe I should start talking to the pigs,’ she joshed.
‘Don’t knock it until you’ve tried it,’ Gus replied, a grin curling at his lips as he reached over and gave her a hug.
Harriet bumped into Pippa as she tried to sneak out the front door. She had dressed up, wearing a black jumpsuit and heels. Not too out there for Parker’s Hollow, but she felt a bit like her city self, which was a nice feeling. She explained to Gwen she would be out for dinner, and Gus would be too, he was taking Fleur out to the cinema and then for pizza.
‘What are you doing?’ She hadn’t seen Pippa since breakfast.
‘Just going for a bite to eat with Connor, I fancied a change of scene. Anyway, are you all right?’ She tried to sound breezy.
‘Yes we had a lovely lunch at the pub with Loretta and Freddie. She’s sweet, Loretta, and Freddie seems to adore her. She was disappointed not to get to know you better.’ Pippa sounded a little accusatory.
‘I’m sure there’ll be plenty of time for that.’ She smiled at Pippa and left before Pippa could object further.
She had intended on walking down to Connor’s cottage, which she soon realised wasn’t a great idea in her heels, but as she closed the front door she saw him waiting outside in his jeep. He saw her, leapt out and walked round to the passenger side.
‘Your chariot awaits.’
Harriet laughed. He looked so handsome in his shirt and jeans, and although she tried not to notice how mesmerising his eyes were, she felt like a youngster on a first date and she wasn’t. Either young or on a date; she chastised herself for being so silly, as she climbed into the car.
‘Thank you.’
‘There’s a gastro pub, ten-minute drive and the food is really good, is that OK with you?’
‘Anywhere away from here is great. Thank you for this, Connor.’
‘Please don’t, it’s nice to spend some time with you. I mean, we’ve talked a bit, but I don’t know much about your life in New York, or what you gave up to come back here.’
‘Um, and I don’t really know why you and Elizabeth broke up.’
‘Touché. Are we keeping off personal stuff then? I mean we can, but I don’t know how we are supposed to rebuild our friendship if we keep things from each other.’ He sounded so sincere, so sensible, she wanted to tell him everything, suddenly.
‘I tell you what, if you buy me a decent glass of wine, I’ll tell you everything.’ Suddenly she wanted him to know, the good, the bad and the ugly.
He sat back, took a sip of his pint and seemed to be thinking before he spoke.
‘Wow, some story. I’m not sure I would have guessed it of you, I mean, Harry, you were always so bright, so in control.’
‘I bet you never thought I would have an affair?’
‘I guess it’s a bit of a surprise, I know how moral you are, were, but then they say you can’t help who you fall for.’
‘I don’t think I fell for him exactly. I was so into my job, Zach was the boss, I think I confused the two. I certainly admired the way he worked and I wanted to be like him, that ended up with me being …’
‘Was it love?’ Connor looked right into her soul, she felt as if she was naked.
‘No, it wasn’t love.’ She remembered the only time she ever thought she was in love and that felt nothing like it was with Zach. But she couldn’t talk about that. She could barely think about it. She didn’t really even know Zach and vice versa. Zach never asked about her home, he never showed an interest in her family, he didn’t know how she spent her childhood. He didn’t know the Harriet who would tuck her skirt into her knickers, climb trees, catch frogs, swim in the lake even in winter. No one knew her like the man sitting opposite her. ‘Connor, order me more wine, please,’ she said, quickly. ‘And then tell me about you.’
He went to the bar and came back with a bottle and two glasses.
‘OK so I’ll tell you about Elizabeth. You know the background, we met at uni and I thought she was perfect. She was confident, beautiful, we were both going to be vets, we both adored animals, and we both had that youthful ideological need to make a difference, to save the world. Basically, we both wanted the same things. To live in the country, to own our practice, to have a house full of pets,’ he laughed dourly. ‘I mean we were perfect for each other.’
‘When you were together she was quite territorial if I remember rightly.’ Harriet bristled.
‘Funnily enough, only around you. She felt threatened by you, I guess because I told her all about you, our childhood, our friendship.’
‘She was threatened by me?’ She felt shocked. After what Gus said, the implications, Harriet knew she had felt jealous of Elizabeth for whatever reason – and she still didn’t think it was anything like as simple as Gus thought – but why would Elizabeth have felt threatened by her? Connor only ever saw her as a toad catcher after all.
‘Because of our history together and apparently I talked about you a lot. I had to reassure her quite often – I mean, as if we were anything but friends, what an idea!’
‘Thanks, Connor.’ Harriet couldn’t believe how hurt she felt, as her cheeks reddened.
‘Oh you know what I mean. You wanted the glamorous city life, I wanted the country. In fact, what you and I wanted was opposite ends of the spectrum. Anyway, after uni Elizabeth and I started working together, we lived together, and we got engaged. I think around the time you moved to New York.’
‘Um.’ Harriet tried not to acknowledge that, after the seed Gus had sown and she was still smarting about the fact Connor said they were such opposites. Although, of course, he was right. ‘So what happened next, you didn’t get married?’
‘No, we were planning the wedding, not that either of us wanted a big fancy do, but then a job came up in New Zealand for both of us. We left just before Pippa’s wedding actually. It was a great opportunity, and Elizabeth was particularly keen. The posting was meant to be a year, but one became two and, well, then I wasn’t as happy there as she was. We kept rowing. I wanted to come home, it might sound pathetic to a jet-setter like you but I was homesick. I worried about Mum, I mean I know she had your father and Meadowbrook, but I’m the only family she has, and I missed her. Liz called me a mummy’s boy and it got so bad that we could barely stand the sight of each other.’
‘I think the way you look out for your mum is special,’ Harriet said, resting her hand gently on his arm. Connor had been the man of the house since he was a young boy. When his father died, it was a huge loss, just like Harriet’s mum. They had bonded over that as children, both having lost a parent far too young, the only difference was that Connor was an only child. Gwen was a strong woman, and she applied for a job at Meadowbrook, because it had a cottage with it, and it would offer security for her son. And Harriet knew her father would have hired Gwen even if she couldn’t cook. The minute he found out she had been widowed and left with a young son, the job was hers.
Connor continued, ‘Neither of us ended it when we should have though, I’m not sure why, I was clinging onto the fact that I believed I loved her, she was clinging onto to the same, I guess, or maybe it was habit, but she met someone else, and then she told me she wanted to be with him.’
‘Oh goodness, how did that feel?’
‘That was the worst thing, it felt like a re
lief. I flew home, guilt-free, and well, I learnt a lesson.’
‘Which is?’
‘I shouldn’t have let the relationship get to where it was, I should have left it sooner. But, you know, we live and learn.’
‘We certainly do. And now here we both are.’
‘I never thought we’d both be living back at Meadowbrook, you know. It’s crazy. How are you finding it?’ Connor asked. His voice was so gentle that Harriet just wanted to tell him every thought she had. But of course she wouldn’t.
‘I really don’t know yet, honestly, losing Dad, the job … everything that’s happened, there is still so much to process that I can’t be sure how I feel.’
‘I’m here for you, Harry, I want you to know that.’ Connor reached over and gave her hand a squeeze. ‘You were my best friend growing up and I want to us to still have that.’
She concentrated on her wine because she didn’t trust herself to speak.
‘Can we have a nightcap at yours?’ Harriet asked, feeling reckless as Connor approached Meadowbrook. She felt drunker than she was – although she had polished off the majority of the wine – because Connor was sober, and she didn’t want the evening to end. Spending time with him was reminding her of why she adored him so much when they were younger. The way his eyes crinkled when he smiled, the warmth that radiated from him. His terrible jokes. He was the polar opposite of Zach and she couldn’t help a thought snaking into her head that perhaps that had something to do with why she had been drawn to Zach in the first place.
‘Sure, I could do with a drink.’ He let them both into the cottage, flicked on a light.
‘It’s tidier than last time I was here,’ Harriet observed.
‘Mum, she came and cleaned. I know, I know, Liz was right, I am a terrible mummy’s boy.’
‘Don’t forget I know Gwen, she wouldn’t have it any other way.’
‘I said I was going to get a cleaner once and I thought she might actually kill me!’ Connor laughed and poured them a generous measure of whisky.
‘You know I never drank whisky or brandy in New York, since being home I feel like I’m swimming in the stuff.’ Harriet swished the liquid round the glass.
A Year at Meadowbrook Manor Page 12