by Holly Martin
He lifted the last box out and placed it on the floor and then looked Kitty right in the eye. ‘I seriously doubt that. She gives me everything I need.’
‘What does she give you?’
Rome thought about how he could sum up everything that Freya gave him – from her kindness and patience, the way she made him laugh, how he enjoyed being with her every second of the day – and he smiled as he realised he could capsulate all that in one word.
‘Love.’
Kitty looked horrified at that prospect as that was the one thing she could definitely never give him.
‘Thanks for coming round, Kitty,’ Rome said, picking up two of the boxes and walking back towards the shop without looking back. Only to see that his solicitor, Jim, had arrived and was busily chatting away to Freya.
He hurried in, not wanting Jim to tell Freya why he was here, but he was already too late for that.
‘And what is it you’re here to see Rome for?’ Freya asked, curiously.
‘Oh, Rome wants to sell the flat upstairs,’ Jim said, clearly not realising that it was supposed to be a secret.
Freya’s gaze swung to him accusingly.
Crap.
Chapter Twenty-One
Freya stared at Rome in shock and the worst thing was how guilty he suddenly looked. She wanted him to tell her it wasn’t true, that there’d been some big misunderstanding, but he clearly wasn’t going to do that.
‘You’re selling the flat?’
He hesitated for long enough for her to know it was true, putting the boxes of glass down while he tried to find the right words.
‘Freya… it’s not. I…’ he trailed off, clearly not able to give any suitable answer.
Her heart plummeted into her stomach. That was her home. Where was she going to live when he sold it on? And why hadn’t he discussed this with her first before he ripped her home out from under her?
‘I’m sorry,’ Jim said; clearly he could tell that Freya was less than happy with this arrangement. ‘It’s quite an unorthodox request, maybe I got the wrong end of the stick.’
‘No, Jim, it’s OK,’ Rome said, awkwardly. ‘I haven’t spoken to Freya about it yet because I wanted to speak to you first.’
‘You didn’t think I had a right to know before you made it all legal?’ Freya snapped.
‘It’s not as simple as that. Look, why don’t you go and get some lunch for us both while I talk things through with Jim and I’ll explain everything when you get back.’
She stormed to the door and Rome snagged her arm before she could leave.
‘Trust me,’ he said, softly.
She stared up into his gentle grey eyes and realised that she did. He would never do anything to hurt her. He might never love her in the way that she wanted him to but he cared for her and selling her home from under her didn’t fit in with that. As upsetting as that news was, she would wait for him to explain it to her before she let her emotions get the better of her.
She nodded and walked out, leaving Rome and Jim alone.
She hurried along the street towards Eden’s pottery café, relieved to see that the café was fairly quiet so she could talk to Eden, and happy to see that Bella was there too.
Bella grinned when she saw her; obviously Freya was in for an interrogation about her and Rome’s relationship but right now Freya really needed to talk about it so she didn’t mind.
Bella got up to hug her and Freya held her tight for a moment, hoping that some of Bella’s strength would seep into her. The last few days her heart and her mind had been a churn of emotions and she didn’t know what to do about it.
‘Not at work today?’ Freya asked as they sat back down and Eden came hurrying over to join them so not to miss out on any gossip. Freya was pleased to see Eden’s assistant, Clare Crissell, was back and busily helping behind the counter. There was no sign of Dougie, maybe he was out house hunting somewhere, which Freya was glad of; she could do without his sarcastic input today.
‘I have the day off. Isaac is taking me to see some show tonight in Penzance, so we are flying out there later this afternoon and staying over. I decided to take the day off so I wouldn’t be running around in a mad panic trying to pack in between work.’ Bella glanced towards the door and then very innocently asked, ‘Rome not with you?’
‘No, thank god. That man is going to be the death of me. My head is a mess and I don’t know whether I’m coming or going.’
‘Something happened when you were in Penzance, didn’t it?’ Eden said, gently.
Freya nodded. ‘I told him I loved him.’
Bella and Eden gave a collective little gasp. Bella’s was of surprise, Eden’s was of happiness. In Eden’s mind, she was already planning the wedding.
‘We ended up making love and—’
She was interrupted with squeals from both of them that were loud enough to draw the attention of everyone in the café. She quickly shushed them and when everyone had returned their attention back to the plates and mugs they were painting Freya carried on talking.
‘Keep it down. I think everyone on the island will know soon but I don’t need them to know all the details. Yes we made love and—’
‘And?’ Eden said excitedly. ‘How was it? I mean, I don’t want details. He’s my brother, I really don’t need that kind of information but was it… OK?’
‘It was incredible, as you would imagine it would be when you make love to the man you love for the first time. But it was so much more than that. We shared this connection that was so…’ she trailed off, knowing that any words she chose wouldn’t even begin to describe what she had shared with Rome. ‘Intimate,’ she finished lamely. It didn’t even come close.
‘And then what happened?’ Bella said. ‘Again, spare me the details.’
Freya smiled as she remembered. ‘We kissed. A lot. And then made love again. In fact we’ve made love many times since then. Each time has been as beautiful as the first time. We ended up making love on Buttercup Beach last night and your dad caught us.’
Eden’s eyes widened. ‘He was fishing there last night, he loves night-fishing on the rocks between Buttercup Beach and Blueberry Bay.’
‘Yes, well he caught more than he bargained for. And he’ll obviously tell Lucy and Lucy will probably tell your aunt Cassie and I’m sure there will be an article taken out in the Hope Island newsletter by tonight.’
Bella giggled. ‘How embarrassing, especially for Rome. Getting caught is one thing, but no one wants to get caught by their parents.’
‘Believe me, it was pretty embarrassing for me too. Though you’ll be pleased to know, I’ve now been invited to the family dinner tomorrow night where I’m sure Lucy and Finn will want to know our wedding plans.’
Bella laughed. ‘That sounds like them. So are you two dating now, or is it just sex or…?’
Freya shrugged. ‘I have no idea really. Rome says he wants to do this properly and we’re going to date each other. And then he slapped some weird sex ban on us.’
‘What? Why?’ Bella asked.
‘He said he doesn’t want it to just be about sex with us, like it was for him and Paige.’
Eden and Bella stared at her.
‘That’s a big step for him. He’s always had very physical relationships. The fact that he wants to do this differently is very significant,’ Eden said.
‘Is it?’ Freya said and sighed, swirling patterns in the glass tabletop. She looked up to see that Bella and Eden were still watching her carefully.
‘Come on, out with it,’ Bella said. ‘You’ve been in love with my brother since you started working with him, you’ve now made love to him multiple times and you’re dating, why are you not happier about this?’
Freya stared back down at the glass tabletop for a moment. ‘He never said it back. I told him I loved him and he simply doesn’t feel the same way.’ And that’s how it had been with Jake: he’d never said he loved her, she’d waited for him for eight years and he’d neve
r said it to her. Was it happening all over again?
‘You need to give him time. This is all so new to him,’ Eden said.
‘He’s had two years. He knew he loved Paige after a month. If he doesn’t love me by now, I don’t think it’s going to happen.’
‘I really liked Paige and I don’t want to speak ill of her, but I don’t think he was ever in love with her. He was infatuated by her, but I don’t think it was ever love,’ Bella said.
Freya thought about this. ‘He says he has never felt for anyone what he feels for me. I took that to mean that this wasn’t love because he doesn’t feel the same about me as he did about Paige.’
‘No, take that as a positive,’ Bella insisted.
‘He never wanted to fall in love again after Paige died,’ Eden said. ‘He guarded his heart so carefully and he never let anyone in, until you.’
‘I don’t think he has let me in.’
‘Of course he has, you changed his life. He absolutely adores you.’
‘That boy is crazy in love with you,’ Bella said. ‘He might not know it, he might not want to admit it out of some crazy loyalty to Paige, but he is. Anyone can see that. Just give him some time to figure it out for himself.’
‘Don’t you think that if it was real love he would know it by now?’
‘Not if he has nothing to compare it to. He thought he was in love with Paige, if this feels different for him then it must be confusing,’ Eden said.
‘The fact that he wants to date is really significant. He hasn’t dated anyone since Paige,’ Bella said.
‘Be patient with him, he’s worth waiting for,’ Eden said.
‘Yes, try to enjoy it. This is what you’ve wanted for years. If you two had just met and started dating, you wouldn’t expect him to fall in love with you straight away.’
Freya nodded. ‘You’re both right. I suppose in my head I just expected or at least hoped he would say it back. But I guess I need to give him time. Although I might not have that. Did you know he’s planning to sell the flat?’
Bella and Eden looked confused by that, so clearly they didn’t know either.
‘Why would he do that?’ Bella asked. ‘I thought Through the Looking Glass was doing well, surely he doesn’t need the money.’
‘How can he sell the flat anyway? He bought the whole building – can you break up parts of it and sell it on?’
‘I have no idea. But he’s meeting with a solicitor right now to discuss it. He’s asked me to trust him, but it’s not exactly a positive sign.’
‘Maybe he wants you to move in with him,’ Eden said, always seeing the happy ending.
‘I don’t think that’s likely if he hasn’t even said I love you yet.’
‘Rome isn’t going to kick you out on the street. There’s got to be an ulterior motive,’ Bella said.
Freya sighed. ‘I just wish I knew what that was.’
The shop door swung open and Rome looked up to see his dad walking in with a big smile on his face. He put down the tool he was using to cut the glass and went to greet him.
‘Oh, look at all these wonderful pieces,’ Finn said, staring around him like a kid who had walked into a sweet shop. He had been in Rome’s shop many times before, but every time he acted like it was the first. ‘You are so talented, I don’t know where you get it from. All I can do is draw stickmen and probably couldn’t do that very well.’
‘Well, Lowry seemed to do very well out of matchstick men, so there’s probably a market for it.’
Finn picked up a blue lamp that had the sea, sky and the sun on it. ‘I love this.’
‘That’s one of Freya’s, I can’t take any credit for that,’ Rome said.
‘Well you did teach her everything you know, so you can probably take some credit,’ Finn said, putting the lamp carefully back on the shelf.
Rome shook his head. ‘No, she naturally has a talent for this. I may have taught her the basic skills but she has come on in leaps and bounds. Her work is outstanding.’
‘Is she here?’ Finn asked, peering over Rome’s shoulder, and when he shook his head Finn sighed in relief. ‘I wanted to talk to you alone actually. I’m so sorry about last night. Lucy said I probably embarrassed you both. I mean, I know it was embarrassing that I was there when you two were…’ He gestured with his hands to skate over the fact that he had caught his son having sex on the beach. ‘But Lucy said that I probably overreacted about you and Freya getting together and that I should have played it cool because it might not be that you’re together at all. She said maybe it was just sex, or just a one night stand or just a fling and there I was congratulating you and saying how wonderful it was that you were together and inviting her round for dinner and telling you how happy I was that you had found love and Lucy said that I might have made things worse for you or scared her off because it might not be that yet.’
Rome stared at his dad. But clearly Finn hadn’t finished.
‘But I said, I saw with my own eyes how much you loved her, I mean I obviously didn’t see anything… rude, I had my eyes closed the whole time. Not that it’s rude, there’s nothing wrong with sex in a loving relationship, well nothing wrong with sex outside of a loving relationship if that’s what you want. Nothing wrong with sex at all. Consensual sex obviously. Which it clearly was. Not that I saw anything. But after, when you were kissing, she seemed happy…with the sex. I mean, of course she was happy with the sex, I’m sure you know what you are doing in that department. You’ve slept with enough women. I mean not enough. Well a lot. Which is your choice. As long as you are happy. And Lucy wanted to know if you used protection because we had sex in the sea once and the condom just floated off. I didn’t know until after we’d finished. I was so worried that some poor seal or dolphin would end up choking on it so we spent ages looking for it and thankfully we found it, and a few weeks later Lucy found out she was pregnant with you so wearing condoms in the sea is not that effective.’
‘Dad—’
‘Oh god, that makes it sound like you were an accident and that’s not true at all. We wanted children, we wanted loads of them. Just not at that time as we were living in this tiny studio flat and we were saving to get a bigger place with a garden so all the children could play outside. But when we found out we were having you, we couldn’t have been happier. You were such a beautiful chubby baby. I mean not chubby, I’ve never thought that you were fat. Just big. And you didn’t need a garden when you were first born anyway. And by the time you were running around, we had bought our house which did have a garden so I don’t think you were any worse off from living in the flat for the first year of your life. So you see, if you didn’t use a condom or it floated away, you don’t need to worry because having children is the most wonderful thing in the world and you would make such a fantastic dad and I can’t think of anyone better to raise your children than Freya, I think she is perfect for you in every way. And Lucy agrees and last night she was looking up knitting patterns for baby cardigans, just in case. And well, I’ve rambled on now but I just wanted to say that we’re both really happy for you, if you are in fact together and having babies, but if you’re not together and just having sex with no babies then we’re really happy for you too.’
Rome stared at him, not sure if his dad really had finished or if there was anything more embarrassing to come. He didn’t even know which part of the monologue to tackle first.
He cleared his throat. ‘It’s a lot more than sex. She’s really important to me.’ He honestly couldn’t believe he was having this conversation with his dad. ‘And there won’t be any babies yet. She’s on the pill. But maybe in a few years.’
His dad seemed equally delighted with this. ‘So this is really forever for you? Oh god I’m so happy, I can’t tell you how relieved I am. We heard all about these women you were sleeping with and we were worried that you would never find love again. And then Freya came along and I told Lucy after we had first met her, I said, “Mark my words, he’ll mar
ry that girl.” And now you’ve finally got together. I couldn’t be happier. Have you talked about marriage at all? Have you set a date?’
‘Dad, it’s really early days. I… care about her so much, I adore her. And yes I want forever with her but… how do I know if it’s love?’
‘You’ll know.’
Rome resisted rolling his eyes but he did let out a small sigh of frustration.
‘When me and your mum first started dating, it was just sex. She was magnificent in bed and—’
‘Dad! I really don’t need to hear that.’
‘No, quite. Perhaps not. But the thing is, I wasn’t ready to settle down. I had just moved here with work, not willingly I might add, and I was just biding my time, having some fun until I could get a job off Hope Island and leave. But just sex became making love and long walks, and making love and lots of talking and making love and so much laughing and I enjoyed those bits as much as the sex. And when a job did come up that would finally take me away from Hope Island, a job that was perfect for me and would mean a massive pay rise, it took me about five seconds to decide. I was having the time of my life with your mum and I never wanted it to stop. I knew that there was no one that would ever make me feel this happy. I knew I wanted forever with her and if you’re thinking about forever with Freya, if you’re thinking about marriage and children, then it’s pretty obvious you do love her.’
‘But it feels so different to what I felt with Paige.’
‘The heart is a multi-layered, multi-faceted organ. The love you feel for your siblings is different to the love you feel for your parents, and you have a different love for your friends and even your pets. The love you have for a soul mate is completely different to all of those things. It’s more intense, more… more everything. Just because your feelings for Freya are different to what you felt with Paige, it doesn’t mean you didn’t love Paige or that you don’t love Freya. You can love more than one person and in very different ways.’
Rome sighed. He was more confused than ever. Mostly because his Book of Love told him that love was to do with the dopamine and serotonin levels in the brain, nothing to do with the heart at all. But his dad was right about one thing, he really did want forever with Freya and maybe that was all the answer he needed.