It was clear the effort had cost him. He lay back on his pillow, closing his eyes.
“John, you need to take off your shirt and replace it with a T-shirt. You’ll be more comfortable, then. Can you do that?”
Slowly he opened his eyes and nodded. He began undoing his shirt and Debra turned to find the T-shirt she’d laid out earlier. When she turned back, John was lying against the pillow, his massive chest uncovered. Rippling muscles and six-pack abs stared her right in the face.
She licked her lips and straightened her shoulders, telling herself to avert her eyes. The command was hard to obey. She lowered her gaze to the T-shirt in her hand and held it out to him. Realizing he probably wouldn’t be able to do it himself, she offered, “If you raise your arms, I’ll help you put it on.”
Now was when she wanted him to be stubborn and self-sufficient. Instead he acquiesced.
Keeping her head turned, she slid his shirt over his head and down his chest, proud that she hadn’t made a fool of herself while doing so…until she realized John was essentially wrapped in her arms. Her heart thudded against her ribs and she pulled back from him as if he was a hot pot.
She wiped her hands down her jeans as if she could erase the feel of him and stepped back toward the door. “Would you like a snack? You can’t have pain pills for another hour. How about a drink?” Damn, she was babbling like an embarrassed teenager. She took a deep breath to steady herself and looked up at him.
Luckily his eyes were closed so he hadn’t seen her make a fool of herself. “Yeah,” he said, “a snack would be good.”
She fetched him a glass of milk and some cookies. “Shall I put some pillows behind you so you can drink without spilling it?” she asked as she reentered his room.
“Yeah, I guess so,” he agreed, leaning forward. She propped him up, this time trying to avoid getting too close.
“Milk? Why did you bring me milk?”
“Because it goes well with cookies and it might help your bones.”
“Hmm, okay, I guess I’ll drink it.”
“Do you need anything else?” Debra asked, seemingly reluctant to leave him alone. She kept her hands behind her back in case she was tempted to stroke that warm body again.
“I’d like to see Betsy,” he said, his mouth full of cookies. As she turned to go get Betsy, he added, “These cookies are really good.”
“Thank you,” she said in surprise. Then she added, “I’ll be right back.”
She knew the difficulty she was going to face. As soon as Andy saw her, he asked what she was doing.
“I’m taking Betsy in to see her dad.”
“I want to go see him, too.”
“Andy, I’m not sure—” All the reasons he shouldn’t get too attached to John marched into her brain, but her son’s brown puppy-dog eyes slayed them all. “Okay. But he’s having cookies for his snack, and you can’t ask for any of them.”
“Okay, Mommy. Will you give us cookies when we come back in here?”
“Yes, of course.” She was beginning to wonder if her son was smarter than she was, having negotiated an other snack.
She picked up Betsy, telling her she was going to go see her daddy. Betsy cooperated by saying “Da-da” over and over again.
When they came into the bedroom, John looked up, surprise on his face to see Andy there. He didn’t say anything that would hurt Andy’s feelings, much to Debra’s relief.
“Can I hold Betsy?” John asked.
“Of course, if you’re not eating cookies. She’ll try to eat them if you’re not careful, and I don’t want her to eat chocolate yet.”
“Does Andy eat the chocolate chips?”
Before Debra could answer, her son emphatically responded. “Yes, I love them!”
John asked, “What else do you like?”
“I like cowboys.”
“You do? We hadn’t seen you much,” he added.
“Mommy made me go to bed early. But she let me stay up last night, only you didn’t come.”
“I would’ve liked to, Andy, but a snake scared my horse and I fell off and broke my leg.”
“Did the snake bite you?” Andy asked, his eyes big.
“No, I think he was as scared as my horse and he ran away.”
“Da-da!” Betsy said, immediately drawing her father’s attention. He had her sitting on his stomach.
“Hi, little girl. How are you doing?”
“She’s really good at crawling. And she pulls herself up and bangs on the coffee table,” Andy supplied.
“Is that so? Do you do that, Betsy?” John asked.
Betsy babbled at him again.
Debra, who was simply watching the interaction between the three, stepped in. “Yes, she does. She’s a fast crawler, too.”
“Good girl. I wish I could see you do all this amazing stuff,” he said as he brought the baby down to his face so he could kiss her on the cheek. That movement also brought her closer to his cookies. She grabbed for them, spilling them on the bed.
Debra reached for her. “You’d better let me take her. Andy, can you help John pick up his cookies?”
Andy got a little too enthusiastic about picking up the cookies and lost his balance, landing in the middle of John’s stomach. John yelped, which frightened Andy. He scrambled off the bed, tears welling in his eyes.
“I’m sorry, Mommy! I didn’t mean to hurt him.” Tears were running down the little boy’s face.
“It’s all right, Andy,” Debra said, holding Betsy in one arm and reaching out with the other to comfort her son.
“Hey, Andy, I’m fine,” John said, smiling at the little boy. “Don’t cry. You were doing a good job of helping me. You just lost your balance. It’s no big deal.”
Debra couldn’t believe how sensitive John was being to her son. She gave him a smile for the first time since they met in the church, one to match his smile. She’d been worried about how he’d interact with Andy, after that awful remark earlier. But he was being as sweet to Andy as he was to Betsy.
“You’re all right?” Andy asked timidly.
“Sure I am,” John replied. “Except for this dumb broken leg.”
Debra stepped forward. “Now that we’ve established that everyone is all right, Andy, you need to come back into the living room. Betsy is going into her playpen, and I need to start planning dinner.”
“Uh, Debra, can you ask Bill to come see me when he comes in?” John asked.
“Of course I can. But it will be a while, you know.”
“Yeah, I know. I just wanted to ask you while you were in here.”
“You’re due for your medicine in half an hour. I’ll be back to give it to you.”
“No. I don’t want it.”
“Why?”
“Because it knocks me out.” He looked away.
“It also helps you relax so your body can recover faster. Are you sure you don’t want it?” She wanted what was best for him.
“I’m sure.”
“All right. But I suggest you take the pill after you eat dinner. It’ll help you sleep better.” She didn’t wait for an answer. She didn’t want to hear any macho response that he could come up with.
When the men came in for dinner, she sent Bill back to see John, asking him to encourage John to take his pills before bedtime that evening.
When Bill came back to the table, everyone else was eating.
“I made sure they left plenty for you, Uncle Bill,” Debra teased him. “How did he seem to you?”
“Well, I think he’s doing better. He doesn’t like the pain pills ’cause they knock him out. But I told him he had to take them. He said to tell you he’d take them when you’re ready.”
“I’ll take them to him now.”
“Aren’t you going to eat?”
“No, I ate earlier with the children.”
She walked down the hall toward John’s room, the pain pills in one hand and a glass of water in the other. Her heart was beating faster at t
he thought of spending time with John again. She’d taken him his dinner an hour ago. They’d had several pleasant exchanges, as if he didn’t hate her anymore. In fact, he’d seemed down right friendly.
When she reached his bedroom, she noted that he’d clearly been out of bed. She would guess that her uncle had assisted him to the bathroom. She didn’t have a problem with that, she guessed. After all, it was better if she didn’t put her arm around him, or feel him pressing up against her. Wasn’t it?
It had stopped any conflict between the two of them, at least.
“How are you doing, John?” she asked as she entered his bedroom.
“Fine. I enjoyed the meal you brought me.”
More compliments. “Good. Here are your pills and some water.”
“It’s kind of early, isn’t it?”
“By the time you get to sleep, it’ll be nine o’clock. I think that’s when you usually go to bed, isn’t it?”
“Sometimes I stay up until ten.”
“Do you want the men to move the television in here?”
He held up a hand. “No, that would be too much trouble.”
“I’m sure they wouldn’t mind.”
“Well, if they don’t mind…”
“I’ll go ask.” She was pleased that her suggestion made him happy.
When she reached the kitchen, the three cowhands had finished their meal and were sitting with Bill while he ate.
“John wondered if you’d move the television into his bedroom so he could watch it,” she told them.
“Sure, we’d be glad to,” Jess said, standing.
“Don’t do that, boy.” Bill’s command stopped him.
Everyone turned to stare at him.
“I’ve got a portable in the bunkhouse I don’t use. If you’ll go get it for me, Jess, I can connect it up.”
“Sure, boss. I’ll be right back.”
Debra gave her uncle a peck on the cheek. “That’s sweet of you, Uncle Bill.”
“Never occurred to me the boy would want to watch television.”
“I think it’s because he’s bored in bed all day.”
“Maybe he should catch up on his paperwork. Of course, he hates doing it.”
When Jess returned, Bill and the men took the TV into John’s bedroom. By the time they emerged, Debra had the kitchen tidied. She picked up John’s pills and water and went down the hall. “Ready for your medicine?”
“Not yet. I just turned on this program.”
“John, I can’t keep coming down here with the medicine you don’t want to take.” Because every time was a temptation to her, she didn’t tell him.
“Then sit down for a few minutes. Maybe I’ll get tired of the show and want to go to sleep.”
Debra gave him an exaggerated sigh and sat down in the chair closest to the bed. “What kind of show is this?”
“I don’t know exactly. I think it may be a mystery. Have you seen it?”
“No. I used to go to bed early because I had to get up at four-thirty.”
“You mean you weren’t lying when you said you got up that early?”
Debra returned his surprised stare. “No. Why would I lie about that?”
“Because I was giving you a hard time. I figured you made it up to make me feel bad.”
“But it didn’t make you feel bad, did it?”
“No, because I figured you were lying.”
They both laughed and Debra sat back to watch the TV. On screen, a curvaceous blonde crept into a shadowy room. Moving to a bedside, she started unbelting her coat as she spoke to the man on the bed. When he didn’t respond, she reached over to touch him and then screamed bloody murder.
“Are you sure this isn’t a comedy?” she asked.
He rolled his eyes at her. “Is that what you’d think if you found someone dead?”
“I’m going up to bed now, John. I’ll leave your pills and water on the table here beside you.”
“Did I upset you?” John asked, watching her.
“No. I’m just tired, so I think I’ll go on to bed. Remember to take your pills.” She turned out his light. “Good night.”
“Good night,” he replied. Then, “Uh, Debra?” She turned back to him. “I—I wanted to say…thanks for helping me today.”
She nodded in acceptance, then turned and practically ran from the room as if the hounds of hell were nipping at her heels. If she didn’t, even in the dark, John would see the attraction she was working so hard to hide.
Somehow, getting out of bed the next morning was easier for Debra. She still knew she had to prepare for the future, but John wasn’t an enemy anymore. That made her life easier. And harder. She wouldn’t be fighting with him anymore, she didn’t think, but she’d be fighting with herself.
She opened his door without turning on a light, just to check on him. He wasn’t tossing and turning, but she leaned closer and noted a frown on his face. She fought the urge to lean over and kiss it away. After a moment, she went to the kitchen to get his medicine.
Entering his bedroom again, she left the door open so the hall light shone into the room. Then she sat down on the bed beside him. “John? Time to take your pills.”
“What?” he muttered.
“Open up so I can give you your pills.”
He automatically opened his mouth, and she popped the pills in.
“Good job. Now raise up and take a drink of water.”
He did that, too, but it seemed to wake him up. “What are you doing?”
“I just gave you your medicine so you could continue sleeping without pain.”
“What time is it?”
“It’s a little after five. There’s no need for you to get up early.” Suddenly she realized her arm was still around his shoulders, supporting him for his drink of water. She gently slid her arm out from under him and his head fell back to the pillow.
“I need to talk to Bill before he goes out.”
“Why?”
“I need to know how things are going.”
Soothingly she said, “I’ll find out for you. You just go back to sleep.” She stroked his forehead, trying to wipe away that frown. When he seemed to doze off again, she breathed a sigh of relief. Relief that she could stop touching him. She was getting too involved with John, and she knew he was going to get rid of her when he hired a housekeeper.
“Wait!” John called as she turned to go to the kitchen.
Afraid something was wrong, she came back to his bedside. “What is it, John? Is it the pain? Are you still hurting?” She waited anxiously for him to explain what he needed.
“No—no, I need—” Then it appeared he fell asleep.
“John, what do you need?
“I need…”
Debra knelt closer. “John, if you’ll tell me what you need, I’ll get it for you.”
His hand snaked around her neck. She tried to move back, but he held her firmly.
“John, what—”
Then he told her. It was a mumble, but she clearly understood him.
And he gave her no choice. He pulled her mouth to his just after he said, “I need a kiss.”
CHAPTER SIX
DEBRA had breakfast ready on time, without making any mistakes. She felt rather bewildered by what had happened with John. But she decided to put that surprising event away, to wash it from her memory, because she was sure John wouldn’t remember. But it wouldn’t be easy.
When the men came in for breakfast, she asked Bill to write out something telling John how things were going. “I think he’s feeling left out,” she explained.
“Do I have to write it? Can’t I just go talk to him?”
“Well, he took some pills when I got up. He was in pain.”
“You didn’t have trouble convincing him?” Bill asked.
Debra felt her cheeks heating up and she bent over the stove, hoping the men would think the heat was coming from the stove. “No, he didn’t really wake up. So it was easy.”
&nbs
p; “So he won’t be waking up anytime soon?”
“No, Bill, I think he’ll sleep until about ten o’clock.”
Jess came to Debra’s rescue. “Boss, I can write down what you want to say. Debra, you got some paper and a pen?”
“Yes, I’ll go get it.” She was glad to get out of the kitchen. She was afraid someone would realize what had happened with John.
After the men left for work, with a note written by Jess for John to let him know how things were proceeding, Debra took an unusual break. She poured herself a cup of coffee and actually ate a couple of pancakes. She’d been skipping meals and snacking rather than actually eating. But this morning, she needed something in her stomach.
Her husband had left her before the baby was born. Since then, Debra had remained celibate. She’d had her son to raise and a job that exhausted her. She didn’t even consider going out. So she hadn’t been kissed by a man in over three years. And it would probably be as long again, she chided herself. Today had been an accident. John probably thought he was kissing his dead wife.
From all accounts, he’d truly loved her. The woman was an idiot to choose to run away, leaving a good man and a beautiful baby. After all, she didn’t have to do the cooking or the cleaning. She only had to please her husband, who was blindly in love with her, and take care of Betsy.
Debra closed her eyes, thinking about what it would mean to be loved by a strong man, a man she could count on, could admire. A man who wanted to share his life with her. A vision of her in John’s arms filled her with joy and excitement, causing a shiver to run through her body.
Then she opened her eyes and she put away that vision. It was only imaginary.
“Oh, well,” she muttered and took another sip of coffee. She heard Betsy waking up, and she hurried upstairs to the baby. “Good morning, Betsy,” she cooed. “How are you this morning?”
“Ma-ma!” Betsy greeted her.
“Yes, sweetheart, it’s Mama.” She lifted the baby up so she could kiss her cheek. Then she laid her down to change her diaper. Once that was done, she took the baby in her arms and tiptoed into Andy’s room to see if her son was waking up.
He stirred as she watched. “Andy? Are you ready to get up? I’ve got breakfast almost ready.”
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