“Do you still have it?”
“It’s in the barn. It’s a classic machine now, and it’s worth a nice chunk of change. I haven’t had time for it in a month of Sundays, but yet I can’t stand the thought of selling it.”
She could hear the disappointment in his voice, but understood his situation. She hadn’t had time for fun in ages, either.
“One day Gramps came back from the doctor. He was diagnosed with liver cancer, but I didn’t know that until later. He told me to go and saddle up our horses, so I did. Gramps took me all the way up to Lizard Rock then pointed down at this valley. The ranch was only a speck, and I could see the Rattlesnake River winding its way across the land—Porter land.”
Buck’s voice trailed off to a whisper, and he sat upright, staring up at the mountain in the distance.
“‘The land is your legacy, boy. Don’t ever forget that,’ Gramps said. ‘It’s been in our family since after the Civil War. I want you to take care of it, Bucklin. Don’t let me down. Hear, boy?’”
“You were named after your grandfather,” Merry guessed, feeling closer to him at this moment than any man she’d ever known.
He nodded, looking off at Lizard Rock in the distance.
“And that’s why you’ve always taken care of the ranch?” she asked. “Because of what your grandfather said?”
Buck nodded. “But my dad felt the same way about the ranch, and we all got the same lecture from him. So after my folks died, it went to all of us. I was in the army and got a hardship discharge to come home. Karen was sixteen. Ty and Lou were just kids.”
“And you mostly raised Karen, Ty and Louise and took care of the ranch and sent them to college,” she added, remembering that Karen had told her that during their first day of freshman year. Karen had opened a bottle of tequila and they became best friends after one shot.
Karen had confessed on more than one occasion that she felt guilty leaving Buck with the younger two, but he’d insisted that she go to college. He believed very strongly in education.
But Buck hadn’t gone to college. He had stayed on the ranch and raised his siblings.
“Ty and Lou were a great help around the ranch. Even though they were young, they did as much as they could. They were good kids. I don’t know what I would have done without Karen, either. I was just so damned glad to be back home. I missed the ranch when I was in the army and thought of it every day.”
Merry remembered that his parents had died in a car accident in Florida on the way to a friend’s wedding.
“The beef market changed one day. Prices fell. Things got bad. With the current economy, and various mad-cow scares and whatnot, they’ve gotten much worse.”
“And now you have to resort to making it into a dude ranch.”
He didn’t answer. He didn’t have to. She understood it all so clearly now.
“This is Porter land. Porters have lived and died here. Porters will always live here. And that’ll never change as long as I’m still breathing.”
“And I’m the one changing it—making turkey chili and bringing in a camera crew and a photographer. Sleeping in your room and making myself at home in your mother’s kitchen.”
“You’re here at the invitation of my sister. I’m trying to think of you as her guest, not someone who’s going to change the ranch house, but I have to tell you that it’s been damn difficult.”
“Buck, didn’t you tell them you didn’t want a dude ranch?”
“I sure the hell did, but I was outvoted. The bills were mounting, and I was going under. I wanted to diversify into rodeo-stock contracting. But the banks turned me down, so Ty and the girls came up with the dude-ranch plan.”
“I see.”
“I can’t blame them if they want the ranch to be bringing in some money. I want that, too, but not by running a damn hotel.”
Merry definitely understood him now.
“I can’t help but feel that I’ve disappointed generations of Porters. Truth be told, any profit from the dude ranch will barely touch all the debt, not for a long time. So, I feel like it’s a lot of change for nothing.”
“You underestimate Karen and me. With her business background, my experience and my name, well, I can promise you that it’ll be big.”
He slowly shook his head.
“Let me just say that you’ve carried a heavy weight for a lot of years.” Her heart pounded and she felt a familiar anger building up inside her. “Why do relatives do that? They make unrealistic demands that their children struggle to carry out, and then they feel like failures when they cannot live up to their parents’ expectations.” She shot the words out like bullets.
“Sounds like you’ve been down the same trail as I have.”
His pitch-black hair blew around his face in the slight breeze, and Merry wanted nothing more than to run her fingers through its silky length.
“I can’t live up to my parents’ expectations, either.” There it was out, she’d told him point-blank. “I never get their approval or a damn compliment. So I gave up trying. It’s easier that way.”
He took her hand. “I already figured that out from the conversation with your mother at the hospital. We’re quite the pair, aren’t we?”
“Guilt, obligation, trying to please…does it get any worse than that?”
“Well, in my case, throw in an ex-girlfriend and an ex-wife who left me for better offers.”
“In my case, throw in a couple of serious boyfriends who used me and my money than blabbed to the tabloids.”
Buck put his arm around Merry and pulled her to his side.
“Now, if we had a pitcher of beer and there was a done-me-wrong song playing on the jukebox, we’d be all set.”
“We could cry in our beer,” Merry added, smiling. “But I’d rather just turn my lawyers loose on them.”
Buck played with her fingers. “I wasn’t very nice to you when you first arrived. Please understand…I just don’t want my home changed. I don’t want it all dressed up and decorated with ruffles and bows and doilies and silver tea sets and flowers sticking out of bleached cow skulls, and stuff like that. I don’t want strangers in my home, in our home.”
He stood up, walked to where she had dispatched his hat during their kiss, and put it back on. Obviously, that was all he was going to say on the topic, and the expression on his face reflected that he shouldn’t have said as much as he did.
Merry followed him. “Buck, why do you think I’m going to dress up the ranch with ruffles and bows and all that?”
He shrugged. “Karen said that you’d help set up a couple of places in New Hampshire and Vermont.”
“Those were bed-and-breakfast inns, and because they were in Vermont and New Hampshire, I decorated them in the country style. B and B’s are the staple crop of hospitality in New England. Not in Arizona.” She gave a little chuckle.
“Well, that’s good.”
“Let me just ease your mind a bit more.” She put a hand on his arm. “As soon as you all give me the word, I’ll stop the wheels from turning and head back home, but until then I promised Karen to make it a success and I can’t let her down. I won’t let her down. And I won’t let you down, either.”
He nodded and stared out at the water again, his hands clenched into tight fists. “I have another plan that I’m working on, too.”
“Good. Anything I can help with?”
“No. It’s something that I have to do myself.”
“Will it work?”
“Don’t know yet.”
“Why don’t I just loan you the money to get out of debt so you can buy the rodeo animals and whatever else you want?”
He looked as if he was just stung by a scorpion. “No.”
“I’ll give you the money, then. Whatever you want.”
“No.” His eyes darkened, like thunderclouds before a storm. “I won’t take your money, and please don’t offer again.”
“I didn’t mean to insult you, Buck, but—”
/>
“I’m not one of those guys who’d use you for your money like—”
“George. He’s the most recent one.”
“I’m not like him. I don’t want your money.”
She took a deep breath, looked deep into his eyes, and decided that if he were setting her up, she’d drag him through the cacti behind her gray rental car all the way to Texas.
“Listen, Buck…”
“We didn’t ask you for money. So thanks, but no thanks. As I said, I have a plan, but things are not ready yet.”
His stock had just gone up several notches in her book.
“Until I hear otherwise, I promise no ranch dressing.” She chuckled at her play on words. “No ruffles. No bows. Your house feels like a home to me. It’s perfect the way it is. There’s history in it—the history of a warm, loving family. I love your mother’s paintings and her dishes. I love every piece of that gorgeous furniture. I love the tree bed that I’m sleeping in that almost looks like it’s blooming. And in spite of the fact that I’m scared that every twig is a snake and every dark spot is a tarantula, this is the some of the most beautiful country I have ever seen, and I’ve been all over the world.”
He took in every inch of her face. It was almost as if he was seeing her in a new light.
“Glad to hear that.” He raised an eyebrow. “So you like the tree bed?”
“It’s incredible—magnificent. An artist made that piece. Do you know who—”
In spite of their vows not to get involved, he reached for her, pulled her into his arms and kissed her again. Merry gently held his face in her hands, matching his passion.
Just one last kiss….
Chapter Nine
W hen they arrived back at the ranch, Buck swung off Bandit and then helped Merry down.
Merry hurried away from him before Joanne picked up on any vibes between her and Buck.
And there were definite vibes, at least on Merry’s end.
“Shall we wrap everything up?” Merry asked, sneaking a peak at Buck, but he’d already disappeared into the barn, leading Bandit.
“We already wrapped,” Joanne said, eyeing Merry’s wrinkled, grass-stained clothes. “A cowboy, Meredith?”
Merry took her arm and pulled her farther away from the barn. “You’re overstepping your bounds, Joanne. My personal life isn’t anyone’s business.”
“I beg to differ. You hired me to deflect bad publicity. Bad publicity can affect your corporation.”
“I am my corporation.” Merry crossed her arms. “And I’m tired of being manipulated.”
“Merry, listen to me.” She looked up to the sky as if she were praying for patience. “Your fans think of you as Miss Hospitality, the best hostess in the world, a great cook, heir to Martha Stewart’s throne. You’ve been billed as the perfect woman. Your fans don’t want you sleeping around with cowboys.” She snapped her gum. “Let me put it this way, he’s just another George Lynch.”
Merry’s cheeks heated, and she spoke through gritted teeth, “Buck’s not like that, and I’m not sleeping with him.”
“But you will. You’re a sucker for guys like him. I did some checking, and he’s in debt up to the dent in his cowboy hat.”
“I already know that.” Merry was getting tired of this conversation, tired of everything. “That’s why I’m here.”
“Has he asked you for money yet?”
No. I offered it.
“He’s not that type,” Merry said.
“Sure he is. They all are. It’s just a matter of time. He’s just going to romance you a bit first.” Joanne checked her watch. “Well, I’m out of this hellhole. I can’t wait to get back to civilization and culture.”
Even though Merry wanted to fire her on the spot, she couldn’t. Joanne was just voicing Merry’s own thoughts—and fears—about Buck.
The rest of her staff was loading up the van, and Merry walked over to say goodbye to them.
“Thank you,” she said. “Overnight me the pictures and the tape as soon as they’re ready.” She waved as they drove away.
A feeling of relief came over her. Getting rid of Joanne was like the joy of tossing out a tin of factory-made Christmas fruitcake.
Buck walked toward her as soon as they were gone. “I’m going to take a quick shower. Then I figure we can head to town and shop for your boots, grab a bite to eat and visit Karen.”
“Sounds good. I’ll be ready in an hour.”
“Make it a half hour. I think the feed store closes at five.”
“Okay.”
“Do you mind if we take Caitlin?” Buck asked. “I think Ty deserves a break.”
“No. Certainly not.”
“Would you tell her to get ready?”
“Sure.”
Merry watched him as he strode to the bunkhouse. He had a great walk and a great butt. She could have watched him walk all day.
She thought of his kisses at the river and became hot all over again. “It’s just the desert,” she mumbled as she hurried up the stairs into the house.
She was going to take a shower herself—a cool shower.
“Caitlin?” she shouted from the living room. “Cait?”
When she walked into the kitchen, she noticed Cait making hats out of paper napkins. There had to be two dozen napkins folded.
Ty was on the phone. He gave Merry a wave, then went back to his conversation.
Merry put her hands on Cait’s shoulders. “Sweetie, your dad asked me to tell you to get ready. We’re going to the hospital to visit your aunt Karen and to get a pair of cowboy boots for me. Okay with you?”
She got up out of her chair, stacked up some hats in a pile, and put them carefully into a paper bag that was on the table.
“Are those for Aunt Karen?”
She nodded.
“She’s going to love them,” Merry added. “That’s a nice present.”
The girl left the room with her gift.
“Tell my sister I’ll be up later to see her,” Ty said to Merry.
“Sure.”
Merry was ready with a few minutes to spare. She had taken a quick shower, shampooed her hair and slipped into white slacks and a light-blue blouse.
Walking out to the front porch, she found Caitlin sitting on a chair on the porch with the bag for Karen on her lap.
“Can I join you?” Merry asked. She didn’t wait for a response and sat down. She let her hair dry for a few seconds in the sun, then brushed it into a ponytail and tied it back with a string of leather she’d found on Buck’s dresser.
“Cait, do you want me to brush your hair and put it into ponytails?”
Cait looked up at her and gave a slight nod.
“Would you get me some rubber bands?”
The girl stood and went into the house. When she returned, she handed Merry two rubber bands, two yellow ribbons and a brush.
“These ribbons will look really pretty with your outfit,” Merry said. “Sit here.”
The girl sat in front of her on the porch step as she had before. “You have beautiful hair, Cait. Nice and soft. Oh, some tangles here. Hang on. I’ll try not to hurt you.”
Merry could see the light-blond peach fuzz on the girl’s neck. She sat with her hands folded together, waiting patiently for Merry to finish tugging at tangles and fussing with her hair. Merry wished she’d squirm and yell like a normal kid.
“This should be fun tonight. Now, I’m counting on you to help me pick out some boots. I’ve never worn cowboy boots, so I could really use your help. Okay?”
Merry could have sworn that she heard a hint of a whisper from the little girl.
Buck pulled up in front of the ranch house and couldn’t believe his eyes. Caitlin was giving Merry a hug. The girl’s eyes were closed and she had a look of contentment on her face. Merry did, too.
If only Merry could somehow reach his daughter, get her to talk.
That was too much to hope for. There wasn’t enough time. Merry would be going back to
Boston. He ought to make that clear to Cait and make absolutely sure that she understood. He didn’t want her becoming too attached to Merry or think it was her fault when it came time for Merry to leave.
He got out of the truck and opened the passenger’s side. “Your chariot awaits, ladies.”
Merry turned to Cait. “The last time I walked down these stairs in these shoes, a little lizard ran across my foot. I hope that doesn’t happen again. Um…uh…You go first, Cait.”
Merry’s voice was laced with humor, and she was exaggerating her fear. Buck chuckled. Humor and teasing seemed to reach Cait the most. Merry must have figured that out.
Cait laughed and his heart did a little leap in his chest.
Damn if Cait didn’t take Merry’s hand and lead her down the stairs, as Merry said, “Eeewww” with a hand over her eyes.
Cait laughed again.
He grinned. It felt so damn good to see Cait reacting.
Taking the advice of her psychiatrists, Buck forced himself to calm down and make like it was no big deal.
Cait climbed up into the truck. Before Merry got in, Buck turned and whispered in her ear, “Thank you from the bottom of my heart.”
His lips brushed the warmth of her neck. He could smell the scent of roses and maybe vanilla.
Merry gave a slight shudder. “I’m not doing anything special.”
“You sure are.”
She turned slightly and their lips were merely inches apart. He wanted to pull her into his arms, to taste her, to touch her.
But his daughter was watching them.
As he walked around to the driver’s side, he felt some of the concrete in his gut begin to crack. He dared not to hope for too much, yet he couldn’t help himself. He wanted a miracle.
If that miracle came in the form of a TV cook and hospitality expert from Boston, then so be it.
To think he’d never wanted her to come in the first place. Now he didn’t want her to go.
Not just yet.
As they sat in the truck with Cait between them, Buck kept glancing at Merry. “You look different,” he finally said.
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