“It’ll sell all right. Now, what about the dude ranch?”
“Maybe Jack will move my shindig up and we’ll take it from there.”
“He’ll do it.” She put her arms around his neck and met his gaze. “You know, Buck, in a way, we’ve both devoted our lives to others, haven’t we?” she said. “Me to pleasing my parents, and you to the legacy of the Rattlesnake Ranch. And don’t forget how you’ve raised your sisters and brother and sent them to college. That’s no small accomplishment.”
He shrugged. “I guess I never looked at it that way. It was something that I just did.”
“Think about it. It’s time for you to start living your dream.” She hated to leave him, hated to leave Cait and the ranch. “Well, I’d better say good night.”
“Merry, wait. There’s something I want to tell you.” He dropped her hands and paced in front of the stalls, his voice getting louder with each word. “I love you, dammit, but where is that going to get me? You’re leaving for your New York job and I’m staying. You’d never be happy here, and I wouldn’t be happy in the city. Sounds like a standoff to me.”
Her jaw dropped. “You love me?”
Hadn’t she heard a word he’d said? “Of course I do. I think I fell in love with you the day you arrived. When you were worried that I’d shoot the burros.”
“You love me?”
“Yes, I love you! Can’t you tell? You’ve been driving me crazy ever since you came here.”
“I’ve been driving you crazy?”
“Yes.”
“You don’t know what crazy is.” She rubbed her temples. “And you love me. Doesn’t that beat all?” She hurried toward him and stood toe to toe in front of him. “You are such a blockhead, Bucklin Floyd Porter.” She turned and paced, stirring up dust and hay. “I love you, too.” She kicked at a bale of hay.
“Hey, you’re the one who didn’t want to be seen with me.”
“I was a fool about the pictures. That’ll never happen again as long as I live.” She put her hands on her hips. “Well, what are we going to do?”
“Nothing.”
“Nothing?” Merry felt the heat rush to her face. She was so mad, she was ready to explode. “We love each other, and that’s that?”
“If we got married, you’d get bored here and you would leave.”
“You don’t know that.”
“I know. You have too big of a career to be happy here for any length of time.”
Merry realized where he was coming from. “Buck, I’m not Debbie.”
He didn’t even react to her comment. “We can visit each other. When you get time off, you can fly here. And when I get time off, you can fly here.”
She pulled on her earlobe. “Somehow that didn’t come out right, or I didn’t hear it right.”
“Then there’s the other thing.”
“What other thing?” she asked.
“The money thing. You have it and I don’t. You know that bothers me.”
“Here we go again.”
“There’s no way I’m going to be a kept man.”
“You are truly a caveman.” Her eyes looked to heaven. “And that’s your final word on it?”
“Yes.”
Merry stood her ground even though her heart was breaking. “You’re absolutely right, Buck. There’s no hope for us. I must have lost my mind to think that we could be happy together. And I hoped for a moment that we could work things out, but I guess you don’t want to try.” She blinked back tears. “Good night.”
He reached for her and pulled her to him. She let her cheek rest on his chest, let his hands travel up and down her back. “How about one more day together? Just the two of us?”
She knew she couldn’t handle that, so she made an instant decision. “Sorry. I’m going to leave tomorrow afternoon. I have to start making some of my dreams come true. There’s nothing for me here.”
She was just about to head for the door when Buck gripped her shoulder and turned her around.
“Wait, Merry. I need to…Cait? Honey, what’s the matter?”
It was then that Merry saw Cait in her nightgown. She was holding her stuffed cat and standing just inside the barn door. Tears were dripping down her face, and she had the hiccups.
She ran to Merry. Taking Merry’s hand, she pulled her toward the door.
Merry dug in her feet. “Cait. Stop. What’s the matter?”
“He’s going to hit you and push you because you are leaving! Run, Merry! He’s going to hit you like he did my mommy.”
Merry looked over at Buck. It looked like he was frozen in shock. Suddenly, he seemed to defrost right before her eyes. The color came back into his face.
“Cait, honey…did you think I hurt your mommy?”
“I heard her say she was going to tell that you hit her and pushed her and that I was a mistake. I was a brat.”
“You were in the barn that night, Cait? Just like now?”
Tears streamed down her cheeks as she nodded.
Buck knelt down on one knee in front of her. “Cait—I didn’t hurt your mommy. She slipped on some wet hay. She was okay. I would never, never hurt anyone like that. Please believe me, Caitie. I would never hurt Merry, either. I—I love her.”
Her eyes grew wide. She looked at Merry, then to her father, than back again.
“It’s true, Cait,” Merry said. “Your father is a kind, wonderful person who loves you with his whole heart. He’d never hurt you or me or your mommy. And I love him, too. And you’re not a mistake or a brat. You are the sweetest girl I’ve ever known. I wish you were mine.”
Cait swiped her arm across her face to wipe her tears. Then she picked up her stuffed cat from the floor and walked into her father’s arms.
In stunned silence, Merry and Buck looked at each other. Buck sat back down on the bale of hay and rocked his child. Merry could see his hands shaking.
She sensed that father and child needed to be left alone, so she slipped out the barn door, went onto the front porch and sat in a chair. Looking up at the stars, she thought about her stay at the ranch, and the two people who had come to mean the world to her.
And wondered what she would do without him.
Merry called the airline when she got back to her room. The earliest flight she could get was at three the next afternoon. That was okay. She’d head out in the morning to allow some time to get lost. Then she’d drop off the rental car and check in early.
But first, she’d have breakfast with Karen, Cait and Louise and say her goodbyes to everyone.
She had already said all she had to say to Buck in the barn.
As she slipped into the tree bed for the last time, it took on a new meaning for her because now she knew that Buck had made it along with all the wonderful furniture in the house.
She reminded herself to tell Karen that they could make a lot of additional money if they’d make it known to the dude-ranch guests that the furniture could be made to order. That is, if Buck was interested, and if they ever did get the dude ranch up and open for business.
Knowing that Buck loved her but wasn’t willing to try to make things work made her feel empty and hollow, and a gut-wrenching loneliness settled in her heart.
Finally, she had found a man she loved who came with a family she adored along with a sweet daughter, a home and history, but somehow he didn’t care enough to want to find some kind of compromise.
Because he thought he was being noble and letting her leave for her own good?
Sheesh.
Because of her finances?
Ridiculous.
But what would it take to make a stubborn cowboy come to his senses and realize that they could make each other happy?
It was all so impossible.
She kept hoping, waiting for a knock on the door. Kept waiting for him to tell her that he’d been wrong and they could work everything out. Kept waiting for him to come into her room and talk about the incident with Cait.
Merr
y smiled. It was a big breakthrough for them both. Now Buck finally knew what had shocked Cait into a two-year silence. She’d heard—and misunderstood—the fight between Buck and Debbie. She’d been petrified of her father, heard her mother say terrible things about her. On top of everything, Debbie had left them.
Merry fell into a restless sleep. At sunrise, tires crunching on the gravel and men talking outside her window rudely awakened her. Getting up, she looked out and saw Dan from the feed store talking to Buck. They were both standing behind a black truck that towed a large metal trailer.
Buck and Dan disappeared into the barn, but came out minutes later. Buck was walking his motorcycle. He paused when he got to the back end, then both men pushed it up the ramp and into the trailer.
Merry’s heart sank as she watched Dan scribble something on a long sheet of paper, then hand it to Buck. Buck gave it only a quick glance, then folded and stuffed the paper into his back pocket.
The fool. He had just paid his debt to Dan with his Harley.
They shook hands and Dan towed the motorcycle away.
Buck watched it until it disappeared from sight, then he took off his hat, flinging it into the desert with a flick of his wrist.
Her heart ached for him.
Buck had just turned back from retrieving his hat when Ty came galloping from the direction of the bunkhouse, waving his arms and shouting something that she couldn’t make out. Buck nodded, went into the barn and galloped off on Bandit.
Something was wrong.
Merry hurried to get dressed to see if she could help.
Chapter Fifteen
“S ome of the cattle are stuck in a wash. If they don’t get them out, they’ll starve,” Karen explained at breakfast. “It’s really nothing to worry about. It happens all the time.”
Neither Karen nor Louise said anything about Buck selling his motorcycle to pay off Dan. Merry doubted that they even knew.
Louise handed her the morning paper. “You’re going to really love this.”
On the front page, Merry saw a full-page, color photo of the brawl at the church social. Buck was sprawled out on the collapsed table surrounded by mangled desserts. She stood nearby grinning like a fool and looked like she was about to toss the lemon meringue pie.
She closed her eyes and mustered the courage to read the headline. With one eye barely open, she read, “Meredith Bingham Turner and Date Buck Porter of Lizard Rock, Arizona, Involved in Brawl at Church Benefit.”
In spite of herself, she laughed. With her big grin and Buck draped over a broken table and those headlines, it seemed as if she was the one who had put him there.
If anyone actually read the article, they would get the full explanation. Actually, the story itself was quite flattering, describing how she’d saved the day with her apple crisp after the dessert table was ruined.
It was only the local Lizard Rock paper. With any luck they didn’t participate in the wire service and no other paper would pick it up. If they did, taking into account the difference in time zones, the phone would ring, just…about…now….
And it did.
“I’ll get it. It’s my mother,” Merry said.
Karen and Louise looked at each other, then at her.
“You’ll see.” She got up and answered the phone. Sure enough…“I was expecting your call, Mother. Read anything in the Boston Globe about me?”
At one time she would have died, now she didn’t give a hoot. She’d made several business decisions during her time with Buck. For one, she was going to downsize her company.
“Mother, I’m flying back to Boston this morning. Then I’m packing for New York City. When I get home, I’d like to have a long talk with you and Dad.”
After Merry hung up, Karen clapped. “About time.”
“It is, Karen. It is. I made a lot of decisions here, most of which came from conversations with your brother.”
Louise giggled. “I take it you don’t mean Ty.”
“I mean Buck.” It was hard to say his name. It was even harder to keep her tears in check.
Karen put her hand over hers. “You’ve fallen for him, haven’t you?”
Merry sighed. “Hard.”
“And how does he feel about you?”
“It’s mutual, but he’s being noble and pigheaded. It’s the age-old rich-TV-cook-and-poor-stubborn-cowboy story.” She tried to joke through her tears, but her joke fell flat. “And he thinks I’m like Debbie. And then there’s the geographical problem. Nothing’s going to blast his jeans from this ranch.”
“He can be stubborn, but usually he works through it. You just have to hang in there with him,” Louise said. “Please do. I’ve never seen Buck so happy and miserable at the same time. I just knew he was in love. And you’re just what he needs.”
“Well, he has the next move.” Merry mustered a small smile, and put her coffee mug into the dishwasher. “Well, I’d better pack up and hit the road.”
“Can’t you give Buck a little more time?” Karen asked.
“He knows where to find me.” She smiled hopefully.
“We can’t thank you enough for all your help,” her friend said, hugging her. “Lou and I can take over from here.”
“Let me know when—and if—you want to proceed with the dude ranch. I’ll hold off on airing the commercial until you give me a call. Speaking of calls, can I use the phone in Buck’s office? I need to take care of something.”
“Sure. Go ahead,” Karen said.
She walked down the hallway to Buck’s office. Leaning against the desk, she picked up the phone and dialed the number of the Lizard Rock Feed and Hardware Store, displayed prominently on a desk calendar.
“Hi, this is Meredith Turner. Would you give a message to Dan as soon as he returns?”
Merry stood in front of the ranch house and looked at all the friends she’d made during her stay at the Rattlesnake Ranch who came to see her off. Her gray rental car was loaded. All she had to do was to say her goodbyes and get in.
Cookie held his hat over his heart. The ranch hands tipped their hats and joked about how they dreaded going back to the old man’s cooking. Buck handed Bandit’s reins to one of the cowboys.
Ty dipped her and made like he was giving her a big kiss. Instead, he whispered, “If you were mine, I’d never let you go.”
Once released from his embrace, she got a big hug from Louise and the same from Karen. They both made promises to visit her in New York.
Merry noticed Cait standing off to the side.
“Cait?” Merry bent down, held out her arms to the girl and she came running. Her arms went around Merry’s neck.
“I’m going to miss you so much, Caitie, but I promise to see you soon. And I’ll call you, and you call me. Okay?”
“Okay, Merry.”
“And I expect you to visit me. Remember how we talked about going shopping and seeing a show? I won’t forget, and don’t you forget either, sweetie.”
“I won’t forget.”
Tears stung Merry’s eyes. “I love you, Cait.”
Cait had tears in her eyes, too. “I love you, Merry.”
Merry gave her a kiss on both cheeks and on her forehead before she stood. Then she blew her another kiss.
Karen took Cait’s hand and they slowly walked back to the house.
Only Buck remained.
It seemed as if they were strangers again.
She waited for another profession of love. She waited for him to ask her to stay, but he was as unreadable and as shut tight as a clam.
She looked back at the ranch house, etching it in memory. She wanted more than anything to stay right at the ranch that she had grown to love, the place that felt more like home to her than anywhere else.
All Buck had to do was ask her to stay.
She’d give it all up for him.
No. She’d give it all up for herself, too.
He tweaked his hat rim between his thumb and index finger. “Goodbye, Meredith Bingha
m Turner.”
“Goodbye, Bucklin Floyd Porter.” She didn’t want him to see her cry.
Buck didn’t say anything more. He just stared down at her. It was time for her to go.
She got into the gray rental, beeped goodbye and watched from her rearview mirror as Buck and the Rattlesnake Ranch disappeared from sight. Then she let her tears fall.
All she’d ever wanted was to have her own family and her own house that she could fuss with. Even more than that, she wanted Buck. She didn’t want her own show in New York City if it meant coming home alone every night to an empty apartment. She wanted Buck and Cait…and Karen and Louise and Ty and Cookie and all the hands. She wanted the ranch house with its great history and its warm family vibrations. And she even wanted the desert.
Before, the desert had scared her, but now she thought that it was beautiful and wild and rugged and stubborn.
Just like a certain cowboy.
And her luck had held out. She’d never had a snake encounter.
She passed Dan heading back to the Rattlesnake, so she beeped and waved. She wondered what Buck’s reaction would be when he saw his motorcycle again, and hoped he’d just accept it and not let his ego overwhelm his good sense.
A fresh batch of tears blurred her vision, and she couldn’t even see the road. She knew she had to pull over, mop up her face and get herself under control.
Taking a deep breath, she got out of the car and looked down the valley. The ranch looked like a tiny speck in the distance. Then she checked the area around her.
Okay, so she was still cautious about snakes and crawling things. But then she realized it was much more than that. This was the exact same spot where she’d first met Buck.
Then the burros arrived, just like before. “You must live around here,” she said.
Merry wiped her tears and gave a small laugh as she reached to pet one. The other started nibbling on the hem of her blazer, but she shooed him away. “Not this time.” One starting chewing on the back bumper. She laughed as they pushed her back against the car with their nose. “Get on with you.”
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