She had felt grief. Not the unbearable kind she’d felt when her mother had died. But it had been grief, tempered with resentment and anger. Resentment because Hank Adams had never let her close to him, anger because he hadn’t loved her.
“I just haven’t had the time to finish it,” she said quietly. “Taking care of the ranch has been a priority. His room and clothing can wait.”
“It’s been two years,” Deke pointed out, his expression thoughtful. “You haven’t had time in two years to go through his things?” He wasn’t sure he believed her and sensed she was putting it off. He wondered why.
She looked away from his probing eyes. “I just said so, didn’t I?”
“Don’t get testy,” Deke retorted, but his words came with another smile.
“I’m not.”
“Are, too,” he returned.
Mary Beth squeezed her eyes closed, fighting the sting of tears. She couldn’t let Deke know how hard it had been for her to keep the ranch going. Her stupid idea of taking over and trying to make it a success was literally blowing up in her face. Very soon it was going to come crashing down around her.
More in control, she opened her eyes and looked at him. “Look, I really appreciate what you’ve done, but I’m tired and I’d like to rest.” She glanced at her watch and was astonished at how much time had passed since Deke had arrived. “Besides, it’s getting late, and I’m sure you have other things to do.”
Instead of getting up, he settled himself more into the soft chair, sitting back comfortably and stretching his legs out in front of him. “I thought I’d hang around a while. You know, to make sure you’re okay.” Maybe he’d stay and make her something to eat for dinner.
Mary Beth yawned and leaned back against the pillow. She fought closing her eyes. “That’s not necessary. I’ll be fine now.”
“Stop arguing and try to rest,” Deke suggested.
“You don’t need to stay,” she murmured, and her eyelids drifted shut. She wanted him to leave. Maybe when he did, her pulse would go back to a normal beat. Having Deke McCall around was dangerous to her heart. He’d been nice to take care of her, but a part of her was still very attracted to him, and she didn’t need the temptation of his hard, lean body or his charming smile.
Besides, he was only looking out for her because it was the neighborly thing to do.
As much as she might wish, Deke McCall wasn’t her miracle.
Three
M ary Beth’s cupboards left a lot to be desired.
Deke studied the choices before him. Canned soup, rice, a jar of spaghetti sauce, noodles and an array of canned vegetables. He’d already searched her freezer for some kind of meat to prepare, but considering he wasn’t a great cook by any stretch of the imagination, he figured he’d better not get too creative.
He settled for the jar of spaghetti sauce and a box of macaroni in the shape of small shells. Adding the pasta to a pot of boiling water, he then poured the spaghetti sauce in a bowl and placed it inside a large microwave oven. It was so old that Deke figured the radiation it emitted could quite possibly make him sterile.
He wasn’t sure what had prompted him to stay around to take care of Mary Beth, especially since she’d made it perfectly clear she didn’t want his company.
Guilt.
Yeah, there was that, he told himself. He couldn’t change what had happened between them in the past. All he could do was make sure he didn’t hurt her again.
Lust.
Now his brain was getting to the heart of the matter, and his body reacted in kind, sending a surge of blood below his belt. Hell, he was still attracted to her. Just thinking about her lying on the couch made him dream things he had no business dreaming about.
Okay, get your mind back on cooking. Serve her dinner, make sure she’s okay, then get the hell out before you do something you’ll regret.
Like kiss her.
Oh, yeah, he was going to be in deep trouble if he couldn’t keep his mind off kissing her. He’d stayed with her at first because he couldn’t have left her alone to take care of herself. But now, after spending the afternoon watching over her, he’d found himself watching her.
Wanting her.
A hissing sound drew his attention. Realizing that the macaroni was boiling over, he turned down the heat and mopped up the mess. While the noodles finished cooking, he heated the sauce a little more, then searched for some kind of bread to go with the meal.
Finding none in her pantry, he walked to the refrigerator. As he started to open the door, a picture taped to the front of it caught his eye. Taken in the moonlight, the scene seemed so out of place in her dingy kitchen that it had almost jumped out at him.
Now the picture seemed to mesmerize him. “Mexico—Experience the Magic” was emblazoned bold-faced across the top of it. Amid the backdrop of the shimmering gulf and a magnificent full moon, two lovers lay on the sand, entwined in each other’s arms.
Examining it, Deke noticed the serrated edges of the paper and suspected that it had been torn from one of the magazines. Was Mary Beth planning a vacation? She must be, he thought, remembering all the travel magazines he’d seen lying around.
But how could she be planning a trip? It didn’t seem like something Mary Beth would do. She’d always been so level-headed. Surely she wouldn’t spend money on a vacation when the ranch needed so much work.
Or would she? Did he really know her that well? Deke had to admit that he didn’t. As kids, they’d never really been friends. To tell the truth, he’d always just thought of her as a neighbor.
But he’d thought about her a lot after they’d made love. Mainly that he wanted to make love with her again, and that had scared the living daylights out of him. Over the past two years, his views on getting involved with a woman hadn’t changed. After seeing his two older brothers and his sister recently marry, Deke was wary of spending too much time with the same woman.
He was better off alone, where he wouldn’t let down anyone he loved.
Like you let your father down.
Yeah, he should feel guilty, he told himself. Living with guilt made him steer clear of women with white lace and flowers on their mind.
Women like Mary Beth.
He ran his hand along the edge of the picture, then sighed and opened the refrigerator door. There was a can of biscuits on a shelf, and thinking a week or so wasn’t too long, he ignored the purchase-by date and popped open the can. Within a few minutes they were baking in the oven.
With the rest of the meal ready, he put the full plates on the table, filled glasses with tea he found already made in the fridge, then went to see if Mary Beth was still asleep.
She was. She’d shifted to her side on the sofa, and her short white T-shirt had bunched up, baring her midriff. His gaze ran slowly over her. Her skin looked smooth and satiny. Her jeans were snug on her hips, and his mind wandered to that tiny mole he remembered being right at the top of her thigh. He’d thought it kind of sexy.
Damn! He’d been traveling a lot and competing hard, and he hadn’t had much time for a social life.
He needed a woman.
Badly.
Knowing that woman couldn’t be Mary Beth, he approached her with trepidation, wanting to touch her, but knowing he needed to rein in his awareness of her.
“Mary Beth,” he called, lowering his voice so he wouldn’t startle her.
She didn’t move.
Okay, so now you’re going to have to touch her.
His palms felt sweaty, and he rubbed them on his jeans.
You wanted an excuse to, anyway.
Yeah, he did. Crouching beside her, he called to her again as he gently shook her shoulder. “Come on, sweetheart. Wake up.”
She came awake slowly, then focused her green eyes on him. She sat up and sucked in a quick breath.
“Deke! What are you doing here?” She hadn’t expected him to be there, and just thinking about him hanging around while she’d been sleeping was unnerving.
Deke didn’t move. “I stayed for a while to be sure you were okay.”
Figuring she must look a sight, Mary Beth raised a hand to her hair, then brushed several strands of it from her face. “You didn’t need to. As you can see, I’m perfectly fine.” She tugged on her shirt and straightened it.
“Yeah, you keep saying that.” His gaze skimmed her face. “Here,” he said, assisting her as she started to stand. “I’ll help you to the kitchen. I made some dinner for you.”
She stilled. “You what?”
He chuckled at her stunned expression. “Don’t get too excited. You haven’t tasted it yet.” An easy grin formed on his lips.
“I can walk,” she insisted, not wanting him to touch her. She tried to push his hands away as she struggled to her feet.
Deke sighed with frustration. Her ankle was still quite swollen, and he knew it had to hurt. “Humor me, huh?” Sliding his arm around her shoulders, he held one of her hands as she half walked, half limped to the kitchen.
Mary Beth eased onto a chair at the table. “What’s that I smell?”
“Damn!” Deke made a beeline for the oven, jerked open the door and, using a battered pot holder, removed the tray of overbrowned biscuits. Disappointment outlined his features. “I think they’re a little overdone,” he stated, frowning as he put them on a plate and placed them on the table.
Her stomach growling, Mary Beth reached for one. Steam rose from the biscuit as she pulled it apart and took a bite. “They’re not too bad,” she assured him in an effort to make him feel better. “You didn’t have to do all this, Deke.”
He shrugged and joined her at the table, easing onto the chair next to her. It wasn’t a big deal, and he didn’t want her to read anything into it. “I was getting hungry, and I thought you’d be hungry, too.”
She smiled at him, her appreciation genuine. “I am hungry, and this looks delicious.”
Deke stopped in the middle of biting his biscuit. It was the first time Mary Beth had smiled since he’d arrived, and he felt the force of it all the way to his toes. Her hair, mussed from sleeping, made him want to run his hands through it, which made him want to kiss her, which made him want to…
“Is something wrong?” Mary Beth asked, watching him. He was staring at her as if she’d lost her front tooth.
Deke blinked. “What? No, sorry, I was, um, thinking about something,” he finished lamely, and he told himself to get a grip on his libido.
Mary Beth looked as confused as he felt, but thankfully, she let it drop as she slid some noodles and sauce onto her fork. Deke tried to look anywhere but at her. He saw the stack of old magazines he’d pushed aside earlier to make room on the table, and it reminded him of the picture on the refrigerator.
“Are you planning a trip?” he asked, attacking his food.
Startled by his question, Mary Beth stared at him. “No, why?”
He nodded at the stack of magazines on the table. “All of these travel magazines and that picture of Mexico on your fridge.” Pointing to it with his fork, he continued, “I thought maybe you were planning a trip.”
Her cheeks reddened, and she shook her head. “No, I’m not going anywhere.”
“Did you have to cancel a trip when you came home?”
She finished chewing a bite of the noodles. “No.” It was probably ridiculous for her to have hauled the magazines back here when she’d returned. But all of her life she’d wanted out of Crockett. Every day she caught herself dreaming of other cities, other countries, living anywhere but here.
But she wasn’t ready to admit to Deke or anyone else that she was trying to make the ranch a success so she could leave. Considering the shape it was in, he’d think that was downright laughable. Out of the corner of her eye she could see he was waiting for her to explain. Oh, God, how could she? She was foolish to believe that she’d one day live someplace exotic when she didn’t even have enough money to make minor repairs on the ranch.
Clearing her throat, she put down her fork. “I just like looking through them. After working so hard on the ranch every day, reading the stories and looking at the pictures helps me relax.”
He frowned thoughtfully as he digested her explanation. “Really?” Deke wasn’t quite sure why, but he had the suspicion there was more to it than that. A telling factor was the glowing red color on her cheeks and neck. He suppressed the urge to press her. “I’ll have to try that sometime.”
Mary Beth glanced his way, and he winked. Her chest constricted. He was making fun of her. “You think that’s funny?”
Sobering, Deke shook his head. “Absolutely not. I’ve never been to Mexico, but I can see the appeal of lying on a beach like that.” He nodded his head at the picture, drawing her attention to it. The thought of lying naked with Mary Beth on a deserted beach did crazy things to his self-control.
Her gaze slid over to the picture and landed on the lovers. She got his meaning. “Yes, well—” She cleared her throat. “I kept the picture for the scenery,” she quickly asserted, her eyes coming back to meet his. She tried her best not to imagine lying on a deserted beach with Deke, his hard naked body on hers, but her mind displayed the image with graphic clarity. Geez, it suddenly felt hot in the room. Mary Beth nearly groaned. It was an effort not to fan herself.
“Ah.” He drained the tea from his glass and shoved his chair back. “How about it, sweetheart? Wanna run off to Mexico together?” He knew he shouldn’t tease her, but he couldn’t help himself. He liked watching her blush.
Gathering a modicum of self-control, Mary Beth feigned a shocked expression. “And deprive all those buckle bunnies around the rodeo of your company? I wouldn’t think of it,” she answered, intentionally widening her eyes. “I’ve heard tell that if you’re a big bad bull rider, you can have your pick of women.”
Deke opened his mouth to deny the charge, but had to catch himself. There were plenty of women who hung around the rodeo, and admittedly he hadn’t turned a blind eye to them. But those women knew the score. They were nothing like Mary Beth. They were looking for a good time, not for happily-ever-after.
“Don’t believe everything you hear,” he said, deciding to play that part of rodeo life down. He wasn’t about to give her a reason to lower her opinion of him even more. “If you’re finished,” he said, abruptly getting to his feet, “I’ll clean this up.”
“You don’t need to,” Mary Beth rushed to tell him. “I’ll take care of them later.”
“Don’t worry about it. It won’t take me that long.”
“Deke—”
He scowled down at her. “Do you have to fight me on everything?”
“Do you have to be so obstinate about everything?” she countered.
Deke mentally began counting to ten. He got to five and felt more in control. “Look, why don’t you go in and watch television or something? I’ll take care of this mess, then get out of your hair.” At her disbelieving expression, he drew an invisible cross over his heart. “I promise.”
Giving up, Mary Beth sighed heavily. “I think I’ll just get ready for bed.” When she started to get up, Deke grasped her arm. To prove she could walk on her own, she put a little weight on her ankle. The sudden jolt of pain made her wince. “Oh!”
Deke swore under his breath as he swept her up in his arms again. “Hold on.” His gut clenched when she slid her arms around his neck. “Don’t say a word, woman,” he cautioned, his eyes dark and stormy.
Mary Beth clamped her lips together as he carried her through the house to her bedroom. Once there, he deposited her gently on her bed, then looked around the small room. Satisfied she could reach her dresser from the bed, he turned his gaze back on her.
“I’ll leave you to get ready.” He pointed a finger at her. “Don’t get off that bed. When you’re ready, call out, and I’ll help you to the bathroom.”
“Yes, sir.” She gave him a military salute.
“Someday that smart mouth and sassy attitude’s gonna get you
into trouble.”
“I’m scared.” It was obvious she wasn’t.
Deke’s gaze ran intimately over her. “You should be.”
Mary Beth watched him storm from the room. What on earth was wrong with her? All she had to do was bide her time, thank Deke for everything and watch him walk out of her life the way he’d done so easily two years ago. But no. She couldn’t do that. Instead, she’d gone out of her way to provoke him.
It just wasn’t in her nature to let another man run roughshod over her. She’d had enough of that from her father. She no longer had to listen to anyone tell her what she could or couldn’t do.
“Especially Deke,” she muttered, scooting to the edge of the bed. Pushing off, she hopped on one foot to the closet, opened the door, then took her nightgown and robe off of a hook.
Knowing he’d probably return at any moment, she struggled out of her clothes and tossed them on a nearby chair. Quickly she slipped on her nightgown and robe. Instead of waiting like Deke told her, she opened the door. Limping and hopping, she made her way to the bathroom in the hall.
She looked longingly at the tub, then decided there was no way she was going to get naked and take a bath with Deke McCall in her house. Then she caught a look at herself in the mirror and gasped. A wild mass of her curls had escaped her barrette and fell around her face in disarray. She removed the barrette, brushed the tangles out, then subdued it behind her neck again.
It took her a few more minutes to wash her face and brush her teeth. When she was ready to leave, she unlocked the door and opened it. Silently she peeked out into the hallway. Deke wasn’t anywhere in sight. Breathing a sigh of relief, she started to make her way back to her room with the same techniques she’d used to get to the bathroom. About halfway back to her room, she tripped when her foot caught on a throw rug. Trying to catch herself, she put all of her weight on her injured ankle.
She couldn’t help screaming as the floor came up to meet her. Before she could get her bearings, the sound of Deke’s boots pounding on the hardwood floor told her he’d heard her fall.
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