In the weeks that followed, Leah and I began meeting up after practice every Monday. It wasn’t planned, at least not at first. It sort of just happened. I’d stop by her truck on the way to my BMW, she’d greet me, we’d talk, and then she’d invite me to join her for a drive. We never did anything all that exciting, but that was what made it enjoyable. There was no pressure. No plans. No destination. We simply drove around in her truck, exploring the long country roads that stretched along the outskirts of town. We listened to music and talked while Leah smoked, hanging her arm out the window and allowing her hand to catch the smooth rhythm of the wind.
Leah and I hardly knew each other, but I grew comfortable around her quickly. On the surface, she appeared mysterious and so carefree that it was intimidating, but as I got to understand her personality a little better, I realized that she wasn’t as closed off as I had thought. She was simply an introvert, someone who felt content with being alone. But that didn’t mean she was opposed to company, either. All it took was an active display of kindness and interest, and Leah opened herself up to me easily. She told me that she lived on the west side of town, in a trailer park with her mom. After her father died when she was twelve, her mother had grown ill, and Leah was the only one to take care of her. If Leah wasn’t in school or looking for some escape, she was either working at the local diner or taking photos of abandoned buildings. The rest of her time was spent caring for her mother.
When I asked her why she preferred taking photos of abandoned buildings, I was moved by her answer. I knew of several photographers who captured photos of beautiful architecture, but I’d never met an individual who was drawn to abandoned, rotting buildings as artwork.
“I like the secrets they hold,” Leah had explained. Her car was parked in front of a small pond at Orchard Hill Park. The sun was shining bright that day, casting a golden glimmer over the water. Her car windows were open, and Leah sat with her feet propped up on the dashboard. “Abandoned buildings are like ghosts or lost memories. They have the same power as photographs, but they rot with time until they eventually die. They end up disappearing into oblivion, just like everything else.”
“Are you saying that death has beauty?” I asked.
Leah turned to me. “Any artist would say that photos speak for themselves, but yes. Death has beauty in a way.”
Over time, it became apparent that Leah and I were not normal friends. There was an elephant in the room that neither of us addressed, but both silently understood. Kids around school seemed to notice it too, because their eyes were glued to us when we were seen walking in the hallway together. I tried to ignore their stares the way Leah always did, but it wasn’t as easy for me. Despite the whispering, judgments, and rumors, I mustered the courage to keep my chin up and my eyes forward.
The elephant in the room lingered for months, until I became eager for Leah to say something. I wanted her to scoot up to me as we sat side by side. I wanted her to place her hand on my waist and tell me how she felt about me, but over time, I figured it would never happen. We’d continue with the same routine. She’d pick me up after practice every monday, we’d drive around, talk, and even touch. Occasionally, she would press her knee against mine, pretending she was oblivious to it. The cycle continued until I grew tired of pretending that my body didn’t react every time she touched me.
It wasn’t until the end of the spring when something finally happened, and when it did, it happened all at once. The day started as good, and it ended as the best day of my life.
It was the last lacrosse game of the season. We made it to the state championship. With ten seconds left in the game, I launched the lacrosse ball straight in between the goalie’s legs. The referee blew the final whistle. The crowd roared and my teammates sprinted toward me, chanting my name.
“Kent! Kent! Kent!” they shouted in unison. My smile had never been bigger. The team huddled around me and celebrated our victory.
After taking photos with our state trophy, the crowd eventually fizzled out and the field emptied. I lingered around, waiting until everyone had left the field. Leah was waiting at the bottom of the bleachers for me. When the coast was clear, I sprinted toward her, my cleats digging into the fresh grass.
To my surprise, Leah wasn’t wearing her usual flannel and ripped jeans. Tonight, she wore tight leggings and a loose, low-cut V-neck that revealed her smooth chest. It was the first time I really saw the shape of her body.
“Hey, superstar,” she said with a warm smile that lit up her entire face. Her dark eyes sparkled. “I have a surprise for you.”
She beckoned me toward her, and I followed. My heart felt light, airy, and free. She guided me away from the sports complex, toward her car. But instead of jumping into the front seat, she hopped into the pick-up’s truck bed. A thick quilt was laid down neaty on the bed. A bottle of champagne and two empty cups were placed in the center, surrounded by a circle of at least twenty tea light candles. They flickered dimly as stars twinkled above us.
For the first time since I’d met Leah, she appeared flustered and embarrassed. All composure was gone. In the darkness, I could sense redness forming in her cheeks.
“This is really lovely,” I said softly.
Leah glanced down at her feet. “I just… I know how much the scholarship meant to you. Your parents don’t seem to congratulate you enough…so I thought I’d…”
I squeezed her hand gently. “Thank you.”
Leah took a seat on the quilt. After struggling to pop open the champagne bottle, she poured two generous glasses for us. “To the only bad bitch I know in this school,” she said with a sly grin, clinking her glass against mine.
“You saw the final shot, right?” I asked, taking a comfortable seat beside her on the blanket. “I didn’t think I’d make it because I’d never scored a goal from that far away, but—”
“But you did.” Leah smiled affectionately. “Like I said you would. You were stressed out over nothing.” A light giggled rose from her chest, forming dimples in her cheeks. The candle lights reflected her brown eyes.
The two of us laughed, talked, and sat close together until the champagne bottle was nearly empty. We spoke mainly about my future, how my Rowan scholarship was as good as gold. I talked about my career goals, and how proud my parents were of me. When I finished my second glass of champagne, my cheeks were warm and toasty in the night breeze.
“What about you?” I asked. “All I’ve done is talk about myself this whole time. I don’t think you’ve ever told me what you plan to do after graduation.”
“What do I plan to do?” Leah asked. “Well, I’ll work. That’s obvious, isn’t it?”
“But…what do you plan to do for you?”
“Well, Bill just gave me a raise at the pub. I’ll get my bartending license and I’ll figure it out from there. My mom can barely walk. I’ve told you that. There aren’t too many options for me right now. At least not at the moment. I have to do what I can to help her.”
“But…”
Leah released a slow sigh. “Here we go again,” she grumbled. This wasn’t the first time I’d tried to convince her to expand her opportunities. By now, she was tired of hearing it.
“You can go to community college, Leah. You can complete your first two years there, and—”
“And what will my mom do?” Leah cut in. “Look, there are things you don’t understand. When my dad passed away, there was no chance that my mom would ever go back to her normal self. She’s hurting, physically and mentally. I can’t just waltz over to a community college and forget about my mom, okay?”
After a long pause, I took a sip of my champagne, nearly emptying my glass. “Alright. Sorry for bringing it up.”
“Don’t be mad at me now,” Leah said, placing her empty glass down and turning to look into my eyes. “I didn’t want tonight to be like this.”
A swell of adrenaline suddenly sparked in my gut. “What did you want tonight to be like, then?” I asked. Tingles
ignited in my body.
Both of us froze. Crickets hummed dimly. It was the only sound I could hear over the beating of my own heart.
“Dani…” Leah’s voice was soft and gentle. She sounded weak, vulnerable, and perhaps scared. “What do you want?”
“I asked you first,” I said. When Leah remained stiff and frozen, I placed a gingerly hand on her cheek. She practically melted into my touch. “Tell me what you want,” I whispered.
Leah’s lips morphed into an uncertain, rueful grin. “I’d like to have you.”
“Why are you so scared to say that?”
“Because saying it is scary,” Leah replied.
I couldn’t help but chuckle in response.
“I’m serious, Dani. I don’t even know if you’re gay or not. Everyone at our school thinks of me as a predator for even talking to you. What am I supposed to think?”
“I’m not sure if I’m gay either,” I replied. It was the truth. I’d never had a serious boyfriend, only prom dates and hookups. I was always too focused on my grades and sports to distract myself with romantic love. At least, that’s what I’d been telling myself over the years. But the more I thought about it, the more I wondered if deep down, I wanted a woman all along. I didn’t know what was missing until it was right in front of me.
Leah’s eyes sparkled at mine. I always thought she was the bold one, but in that moment, I knew it was my chance to show her what I wanted. What we both wanted.
I leaned in close and placed a gentle thumb on her chin. “All I know is that I like you, Leah. I like you a lot.”
Leah exhaled, as if she was relieved to hear me finally say it. “I like you too.” With a soft hand, she touched the back of my neck and guided my lips toward her own. I waited for our lips to meet, but she hesitated.
“Will you kiss me already?” I said.
Answering my call, she finally closed the space between us. Her mouth was sweet like champagne. The kiss deepened. I wrapped my arms around her, feeling the warmth radiating beneath her shirt. I wanted to slide my hand underneath and feel the softness that waited to be touched.
For the first time in my life, I didn’t care about what happened in the future. I wasn’t concerned about what grade I got on my next test or what my parents thought about my performance on the field. All that concerned me was the feel of Leah’s hands on my body, and I had to admit that the rebellion of it sent enticing shockwaves into my nerves. All at once, I felt invincible.
I became certain that I was going to fall in love with her.
Chapter Six
On the morning after my discussion with Officer Valoreo, I checked my phone the second I opened my eyes. To my dismay, the only notification was for a voicemail from my mom. I pressed my phone against my ear, dreading the sound of her voice.
“Danielle, it’s Mom. Obviously. I know the party got out of control the other night, as I expected it would. I’m no idiot. Your friends from college act like a bunch of juvenile, wild animals. I won’t chastise you for it this time, but the house better be sparkling when you leave. And don’t forget to put the trash bins back in the garage. You forgot last time.”
I expected the voicemail to end just then, but she went on, “And Danielle, please try to cut back on the partying this week. Being part of a sorority has its advantages, believe me. I wouldn’t have made it through college without it, but those girls shouldn’t pressure you into doing anything your father and I would disapprove of. All that beer won’t do you any good, either. Don’t even bother stepping on the scale this morning. You’ll be too bloated to get an accurate weight. Just drink water and continue the keto diet. I’ve just sent your weekly packaged meals to your apartment. You’ll need to be sharp and properly nourished for finals week. I received a notice in the mail that your exams will be held in the tech building, so you should—”
With a disappointed sigh, I shut off my home screen and tossed my phone onto the mahogany coffee table. My mom clearly had no idea Leah was missing, which was odd, considering the fact that she usually always knew what was going on in my life. I considered calling her back and telling her, but immediately thought better of it. It wouldn’t do any good to discuss it with my mother, who was horrible when it came to consolation, comfort, or any other maternal acts of affection.
Sitting up, I glanced around the living room where the morning sun filtered through the window at a slant, illuminating the plush carpet. It felt surreal, sitting in the same house, on the same couch that Leah had been the other night. I felt as if I had slipped out of the world I knew and stepped into another dimension. A heavy gloom seemed to hang over everything like a curtain, casting a shadow of darkness across my vision. I wanted to get out of here, to flee from the massive mansion and collapse into my own bed, but part of me was afraid. My apartment was a two-hour drive away from the beach house. Leaving the premise would feel like I was abandoning Leah in a sense. I couldn’t bring myself to leave without knowing where she was.
My phone buzzed on the coffee table, yanking me out of my thoughts. Rosie’s name and a photo of the two of us flashed across the screen.
“Where are you?” she asked as I held my phone to my ear. “I thought you’d be back at the apartment by now. You alright?”
“I decided to stay at the beach house for the night,” I said. “A thunderstorm rolled in after the police officer left. I didn’t wanna chance it. I meant to text you.”
“No worries. You coming back soon? Finals are next week.”
A lump of anxiety tightened in my chest. Final exams were the last thing on my mind right now. “I’ll study later,” I said, which was a complete lie. There was no way I’d be able to focus on my studies any time soon. “Have you heard anything from Rob?”
“Seagrave?” Rosie asked. “Why?” She paused, then blurted out, “Oh. Right. God, I almost forgot. No. No one’s heard from him. I texted him yesterday to see if he knew where Leah went, but I didn’t get a response. He’s flaky like that sometimes. I did a group project with him last semester and it was like nails on a chalkboard. He’s the worst at answering texts.”
“Seriously, Rosie?”
“What?” Rosie asked. “It’s not my fault he didn’t answer.”
With a groan, I said, “Then I’ll have to question him myself. We can’t just let him avoid talking. If he was the last person who saw Leah on Saturday, then he owes me an explanation.”
“Well, good luck,” Rosie said. “He hasn’t replied to either me or Jenna, so you might have to try reaching out to one of his roommates. Either that or…I don’t know. I guess you could always show up at his door if you’re really that worried. But I’m sure everything’s fine. I’ll see you tonight, okay?”
“Yeah. Sure,” I said blankly before hanging up. After gathering my things and locking the back door, I rushed to my car.
I slumped into the passenger seat. Immediately hitting the gas and leaving a spray of dust behind, I sped off toward home. Rob could ignore Rosie’s texts, but I wouldn’t let him avoid questions forever.
• • •
The Alpha Phi Alpha fraternity house stood quietly and dormant on the corner of Rowan University Boulevard and Richard Drive. It was strange, seeing the home so lifeless and still. I’d attended parties at Alpha Phi Alpha dozens of times, but I’d never seen the home in broad daylight. It was the house that often sent music blaring across the residential street, which prompted many noise complaints to the police over the years. But those complaints weren’t enough to stop the parties from continuing. College students were packed into the damp, sticky basement like sardines every weekend. I was often among them, awkwardly sipping my drink and following Rosie through the crowd.
I parked my car in the empty driveway. It was ten-thirty in the morning, so I imagined most of the boys were either asleep or in class.
As I made my way toward the porch, a spark of fear ignited my gut. How would Rob react to my visit? He couldn’t expect me to be silent forever. Sooner or late
r, he had to know I was coming to question him.
I knocked on the door three times, and my ears began to ring fiercely. Birds sang cheerfully around me, contradicting the unrelenting dread that sent my heart racing. I waited for what felt like an entire five minutes. I lifted a fist to knock on the door again, but froze when the door slowly swung open.
Dan Colon, the fraternity’s vice-president, stood at the doorway and regarded me with groggy eyes. With a pale face and heavy bags under his eyes, he asked, “Sup?”
“Hey. Uh…Is Rob around?”
“Haven’t seen him,” he said, rubbing his eyes. “He must be in his room.”
“I need to talk to him, please.” I found myself dancing on my feet restlessly.
“What for?”
“Please, will you just…?” I hesitated and folded my hands together. “It’s…it’s between me and him. Alright? Will you grab him for me?”
“Oh, I’m not waking him up. He doesn’t let anyone disturb him until noon.”
“This is different,” I said. “This is urgent and personal.”
“…You and him banging?” he asked, his eyes trailing across my body like I was a snack.
After a brief moment, I let out a sigh of defeat. “Ya know what? Yeah. I’m into him like that. Now will you let me inside to talk to him?”
“Go ahead,” he said, and finally stood aside to let me in. “Use a condom, will ya? And don’t be too loud. I’m trying to sleep off a hangover.”
Hastily, I pushed past him and rushed inside.
“Idiot,” I mumbled to myself.
The house was quiet and apparently empty. Beer cans, joint wrappers, and plastic cups were strewn all over the living room coffee table. The smell of stale beer and dirty laundry made my stomach churn. All windows were closed, boarding off the slightest glimmer of sunlight from outside. I felt trapped inside the frat house, like I was in a fish bowl. A dirty one, for that matter.
“Which bedroom is his?” I asked as I glanced up the narrow, wooden stairs.
Shelter in the Dark Page 4