Gabriel would forever be a reminder of this life. But I loved him! Would anyone ever understand that? Would my family be able to accept him? How could I love the child of a monster? My captor? My kidnapper? A rapist?
Easy. Gabriel was innocent. My angel. He should not be held responsible for the sins of his father. Every cuddle, every “Mama,” every kiss, every hug, made my heart flutter.
I whispered to Patrick. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about my son.”
He put his arm around me, his eyes remained fixed on the road ahead. “It’s fine. I’ll take care of you both as long as you need me to.”
No anger, no hint of resentment, just calming words. Didn’t he just kill someone? The father of my child? His steady demeanor chilled me. Who was this man sitting beside me? I had to remind myself he was a trained killer. This was his job.
My baby boy looked up at me, his big eyes brighter than usual. “Mama, where are we going?”
“Home, baby. We’re going home.”
15
Patrick
AFTER A PIT STOP AT our hotel to gather our stuff and check out, we drove Annie and her son straight to the yacht. I couldn’t wait to get the fuck out of Curaçao. Kyle started up the boat to anchor it a few miles off the dock. We’d drop them off at the embassy in the morning, and then head back to Aruba in the afternoon, when the waters were calm.
I hadn’t said much on the car ride. I’d just killed a man, possibly the little boy’s father. No regret, but I needed a moment of silence.
Once we boarded the ship, I took Annie and her son to the living area. “Annie, these are my friends, Kyle and Vic. Vic’s a medic; he’s going to help start your detox. I bought you clothes and supplies.”
She blinked rapidly, scanning the tiny room. She wore a tattered shirt, which skimmed her thighs, and black panties. She was skinny, almost deathly so. Her little boy was clad in an oversized tee shirt and gym shorts. I still hadn’t heard him speak, and I prayed he wouldn’t be forever traumatized by the violence of the rescue. Annie swayed with the movement of the boat, a little disoriented, probably in shock, and confused. Her flat black hair hung around her face and she hugged her arms tight to her chest. When she spoke, her voice was a whisper and cracked with emotion. “I didn’t think I’d ever see you again. I can’t ever thank you enough. I never, ever thought . . .”
She bit her lip in an attempt to stop the tears that shone in her eyes. She looked vulnerable and doll-like in the soft light of the room. I pulled her to me and held her close, her small frame tucked into my large one. She felt fragile in my huge arms, breakable. I took a steadying breath to stem the rising urge to keep her there, a feeling which pissed me off as much as it confused me.
“You’re welcome. You don’t have to thank me.”
She didn’t respond for a few moments, instead she tucked herself more closely into my embrace. I was loath to let her go, enjoying the feel of her soft body against mine when she took a step back.
I exhaled. I didn’t know what the fuck I’d expected her reaction to be. I guess I thought she’d be running around ecstatic, kissing and hugging me, but her dull calm threw me. I had to remind myself she was an addict, and the reality of her freedom hadn’t sunk in for her yet.
The little boy remained quiet.
Annie watched me eye him. “His name is Gabriel. He’s three and a half.”
I didn’t have a fucking clue what to say to him. “Hey, buddy. I’m Pat.”
He wrapped his body around Annie’s leg. I handed her the duffel bag I’d prepared for her. She murmured thank you and walked slowly into the bathroom, her little boy trailing her, and shut the door.
I pulled out a bottle of whiskey from my sea bag, throwing back a quick shot. What the fuck had I gotten us into?
If this had been a movie, we would’ve whisked her to the embassy, her parents waiting to greet her. I’d have a hero’s welcome. We’d profess our love to each other and go on to live happily ever after.
But this wasn’t a movie. This rescue was off the books. The embassy in Curaçao was closed because it was the middle of the night and on the weekend. I didn’t even know her. And our victim was a heroin-addicted prostitute with a child.
Vic took some meds out of his bag. “So, it’s going to be a rough detox, especially for the next seventy-two hours. And now we have her son to take care of. We’ll keep her comfortable. Did you know about the kid? Who was the dad?”
“Of course I didn’t know. Not a fucking clue who the father is.” I heard water run. What was going through her head now? Her family, her friends, me?
Kyle laughed. “Dude, you pulled this off. Do you get how crazy this shit is? I mean, she’s been missing for five years, presumed dead. I never doubted you. Are you going to claim the reward?”
Three hundred thousand dollars. I made around sixty thousand a year. A pittance considering the fact I risked my life every day. Killed for my country. Could die for my country. I could use the money. Buy my mom a nicer house. Maybe save up some for my retirement, when I’d probably be so physically and mentally fucked up that I wouldn’t be able to hold down a job. But I didn’t want a cent. That’s not why I did what I did. Why any of us did.
“Nope. Not going to touch it. I hope to hell Annie will keep our involvement out of the press. But I’m prepared to face the consequences if our command finds out.”
We’d already covered this ground—I wouldn’t have brought them into this if I was going to shout about it from the rooftops—but it was done now and they needed to know I was committed to that.
“Well, I doubt they’d discipline us for saving an American girl who was sex trafficked and her son born into captivity. The media would have a field day with that. ‘Navy SEALs punished for saving America’s Sweetheart and innocent boy.’ I say you collect the reward. I’ll take my share. I need a new truck.”
“What-the-fuck-ever, man. You’re loaded with all your NFL money. Anyway, not going to happen.”
Annie emerged from the bathroom, clutching Gabriel. She’d changed into the sweat suit I’d bought her.
Her son finally spoke. “Mommy sad.” He wrapped his arms around her.
“I’m going to get him to sleep.”
“Hey, wait.” I pulled that teddy bear I’d taken from the rubble out of my sea bag, and handed it to Gabriel. “Is this yours?”
Gabriel smiled. “Bear!” He squeezed the bear.
Annie’s mouth dropped. “Thank you. He’d been asking about it but I thought it was gone forever.”
Glad I could give the kid some kind of comfort.
I showed them the cabin. Kyle and Vic went to the top deck to get some fresh air and I waited in the living room for Annie.
Around an hour later, she emerged from the cabin. She sat at the table and ate some chips I had out.
I sat there in silence, staring. What the fuck do we do now?
After a sip of water, she burst into tears.
I went over and sat next to her. “Hey, it’s okay.”
“No, it’s not okay. I don’t know what to do, who I am. I mean, I’m a drug addict. I was a prostitute. My family won’t want me back. Look at me! To get a clean vein, I’ve been shooting up in my feet! And what if they don’t accept Gabriel?”
Fuck. I had mentally prepared myself for her anxiety and detox, but I didn’t want to give her any false hope. Being rescued was the easy part; she would need to rebuild her life. She needed to see herself as I saw her—a beautiful survivor.
I took a deep breath, knowing I needed her to hear me. “You are strong, a survivor. After the hell you’ve been through, you can do anything. I’m sure of it. And your parents love you. How could they not love your child? They’ve been looking for you non-stop. I’m sure they’ll help you every step of the way. I’m going to take you to the embassy tomorrow when we dock. You will be safe there.”
Her hands clenched. “You’re leaving me at the embassy? Where do you think my clients come from? I’ve servi
ced heads of state, secret service, diplomats. Renzo’s sex ring runs the island. And they could try to say Gabriel is a Dutch National. We could spend years fighting with the government. You might as well throw me off this boat.”
“He’s an American citizen also. It’s an American embassy, you’ll be fine. I’ll walk you in. They will contact your family.”
Her chin quivered, her eyes fluttered. She looked embarrassed, vulnerable. “You can’t take me with you?”
“No, I can’t Annie. I would, but we flew here commercially. You don’t have a passport—we can’t get you aboard a flight. We’re on Navy leave—all of us.”
I decided not to mention there were Navy carriers docking in port weekly and Kyle, Vic, and I could always hitch a ride. But she and Gabriel couldn’t. Well, that wasn’t exactly true—there was one way I could bring her with me, keep her safe—if I married her. But that was never going to happen. I never wanted to get married, and I didn’t even know this girl, despite my desire to take care of her, and protect her for the rest of her life. And forget marriage, after the unspeakable hell she’d been through, I doubted she would ever want to date any man, let alone one of her former clients. Not to mention, she had a son. After being the son of a single mom, I wouldn’t even consider messing around with one unless I was one hundred percent certain the relationship was going to work. I’d been that kid, and there was no way I was going to let some little boy get attached to me, and then bail.
“I won’t go. Please, don’t send me back like this. Maybe we can sail back? In this yacht? You’re a SEAL? Please!”
“Sail back? It would take a couple of weeks. This isn’t even our boat—we borrowed it from a former Team guy. We don’t have supplies, or anything. And you could get sick, you’ll be detoxing.”
Her head shook, she bit her lip. “But you could do it, right? You said Vic’s a medic. I’ll be fine.”
I shook my head. “You have to go to the embassy.”
Rising from the chair, she focused her eyes on me, intent, desperate. I knew that look. It was the look that I had, that my men had when they were determined to get their way. Determined not to quit. No matter what the cost.
She walked over to my chair and knelt beside me. Her hand inched up my leg, rubbing my cock over my jeans. “I’ll do anything. Please. Help me.”
I pushed her hand off me. Fuck, she still saw me as nothing more than another john who would use her for sex. I wasn’t that guy. She was nameless to me before, but now I cared about what happened to her. Especially since she was a mother. I pulled her into my arms. “Annie, you don’t ever, ever have to touch me like that again. I’m not that guy. I can’t apologize enough to you. But I came back. I found you. That’s what matters.” I paused. I really needed to send her to the embassy as soon as possible, but the tears stuck in her lashes made me unable to tell her no. “I’ll talk to Dave. He owns the ship. I can’t promise you anything but he’s a former SEAL and a local. He might be able to come up with something. But I promise you, I’ll get you home safely.”
“Can we stay here, on this boat, until I detox? I need to get my mind clear before I go back. I don’t want my family to see me like this. And I can’t watch Gabriel if I’m going out of my mind. I need help.”
I should’ve checked with Vic and Kyle first, but I knew they would want the best for her kid. “Sure, of course. We’ll stay with you until you detox.”
She took my hand. “I’m scared. I’ve wanted to get clean, but Renzo forced me to get high. I need it.”
“You survived five years of unspeakable hell. You can do this. You are stronger than you know. We’re going to help you. I promise I won’t leave your side.”
I got Vic and he took her into the head, tested her for STDs, HIV, and pregnancy. The tests gave instant results, and we were all grateful and, well, shocked when she tested negative for everything. Prostitution was legal and officially regulated in the Dutch Caribbean, so Annie claimed she’d been tested and used condoms. Vic rationed out her drug cocktail: immodium, suboxone, Xanax, vitamins, potassium. He gave her the first dose and she downed the pills with a glass of water.
I held her hand. “I think you should sleep if you can.”
She nodded and leaned into me. I picked her up off the chair and carried her to the cabin with the queen bed, her boy already fast asleep. I’d planned to crash on the floor next to her. I pulled a blanket from the closet and set it down on the floor for me.
“Patrick, can you hold me? Just until I fall asleep.”
I couldn’t say no. It was her first night free in five years. I couldn’t even begin to imagine how scared she might be, even now when she was safer than she’d been in a long time. “Sure.” I wrapped my arms around her and she cuddled up into my chest. Her body rattled a bit, clammy and limp. After a bit, she drifted off to sleep. I felt like if I moved at all, I’d break her. She was fragile, small, and weak. I was spooning her, her curves rubbing against me. Once she rolled over, I made my escape and lay down on the floor.
This was going to be a long night.
I couldn’t remember the last time I’d spent the night in the same room with a woman instead of darting away in the middle of the night. I fought sleep as long as I could, looking over at the slight girl and her son asleep on the bed, praying they would be okay.
16
Patrick
THE BED RATTLED AND THE vibrations on the floor awoke me from sleep. My first thought was it was an angry wave, until I realized it was Annie who was shaking. Her little boy popped up in bed, his hair disheveled, and let out a whimper. She ran to the bathroom and slammed the door.
I didn’t know what the fuck to do. I sat on the bed next to Gabriel.
“Hey buddy, you want to check out the boat?”
I had nothing to offer him—totally ill-equipped to entertain a toddler. No toy trains or cars. No crayons or stickers. I didn’t want to touch him, scare him. I hadn’t a clue what kind of life he’d grown accustomed to, who took care of him while Annie worked. Fuck—I still didn’t know who his dad was, and for that matter, if I’d killed him.
I could hear Annie gagging and retching.
Gabriel looked around the room, his eyes fixed on the tiny porthole.
“Boat?” he said.
“Yes—we’re on a boat. Do you want to see it?”
He nodded and put his arms around my neck. His affection startled me, so trusting, so warm. I carried him to the deck where Kyle was manning the ship.
“Hey, little man.” Kyle came from a big family with a bunch of nieces and nephews. “You want to help me steer?”
A smile broke out on Gabriel’s face. Kyle offered his hand to Gabriel, and the little boy happily took it, and stepped up to the control panels.
Kyle turned to me, “I got this. Anyway, we need to talk about what we’re going to do with them.”
Vic interjected. “She’s right, you know. We can’t drop her off at the embassy, with her son. He’s a Dutch National. They could prevent him from leaving the country.”
“I know. What are our options?”
Kyle spoke, his hands helping Gabriel steer the wheel. “We can sail her back to San Diego.”
“No way. We don’t have the supplies, it will take at least two weeks, and I’ve never sailed through the Panama Canal. She’s detoxing. This isn’t even our boat.”
Vic stretched out on the deck. “We don’t have a choice, Walsh. Unless you marry her and take them on a Navy cruiser. The consulate might try to locate Gabriel’s family, might investigate our mission at the brothel. I already radioed Dave. I didn’t give him the details about Annie, but I asked him if there was any way we could take the boat to San Diego. He said yes—as long as we took him.”
Great, just fucking great. Not exactly the way I wanted to spend the few weeks of leave I get a year. But they were right. I didn’t have a choice. I’d see this mission through to the end. And I trusted Dave, we’d used his weapons for the rescue anyway. “Fine. Let�
��s go tell Annie. Kyle, radio Dave and confirm everything. Make sure he gets enough supplies for us, Annie, and the boy. Toys and stuff, too.”
Kyle grabbed the radio. “Roger that. Go take care of Annie.”
Vic headed back to the room with me, carrying his medical bag. “How’s she doing?”
“She woke up and puked.”
We entered the room; Annie was sitting on the bed, her hair wet, her skin bluish.
Vic gave her more meds, and she calmed down for a bit. He then went to the kitchen to make us all breakfast.
I led Annie into the living area. I warmed some chicken broth in a mug and handed her a banana, which was about the extent of my cooking skills. “You need to eat. Here.”
She took a sip of the broth and relaxed into the chair. “I thought I was dreaming. I can’t believe I’m really free. When we moved islands, I thought my one chance was gone forever. How did you find me?”
I studied the girl sitting in front of me. She already looked different to me than she had when I’d last seen her in the brothel. She seemed lighter, like a weight had been lifted from her soul. But her skin was pale and her hair was lifeless. She still had a long way to go before she fully returned to the land of the living. “I went back to the brothel in Aruba—it was burnt to the ground. We searched the island for you and Kyle got a tip that you girls were moved to Curaçao, so we came here. You’d told me the last thing you remembered at the resort was being in the elevator with that dancer. He was playing at a bar and I followed him. I thought I saw you in the window, so I took a chance and here we are.”
BEAST: A Bad Boy Marine Romance Page 22